December 31st/January 1 2010

 

 12:59, at my house (like , I have a house)

 

"5...! 4...! 3...! 2...! 1...! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!" it wasn't even all of us who yelled that, it was just my mother. She was high on champagne, and she's only had one glass. She was busy giggling, then toppled over her tiny feet and fell on the couch. She continued to giggle like a little gremlin while the rest of us hugged each other, my stepdad sighing and excusing himself. He picked up Ma who hit him violently on the shoulder, "WAIIIIIIT! I'M NOT DRUU~UUUNK!!!" Yeah, you're not drunk at all... -.-

 

 But anyway, I was busy pulling Sooyoung and kissing her in front of everyone. She pulled back and her cheeks kinda went red. I was going to tell her she was adorable, when nuna smacked me on the head and laughed heartily. "'Ey Minnie! Go easy on her!" she cackled at us, before skipping towards Eunhyuk and planting a loud kiss on his lips. Eurgh, nuna is so gross. 

 

 "Happy new year Sooyoung wife," I told her. She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. 

 

 "Happy new year Changmin husband." Ahhhh this is so nice~ I could've stayed like this with Sooyoung for the whole evening.

 

Except the rest of my family were oggling at us, with the addition of Sooyoung's family, and Eunhyuk's family to boot. That's right; all of the Shims, the Chois, the Lees and the Kims were here. That was basically all of Korea. It was a good thing ma's house was ridiculously big. Oh wait; no it's not her house. It's Sooyoung’s and mine.

 

 So you're probably wondering how we moved in to this house.

 

 Well it two days before Christmas. The mothers dropped by once again, and like Death, they came bearing news of dread. And it came in the form of two words. "You're moving~!" they said in a singsong voice, clasping hands and jumping around being excited. I only gawked at them, until Sooyoung came forward to ask what they meant. They stopped giggling but the stupid smile didn't disappear. 

 

 "We've bought you a house, my darling," SoAe umma said. "You can't live in this dump anymore, no offence my pretty son-in-law." She pinched my cheeks and gave me her best smile. Pfft, of course I won't be offended by you degrading the apartment I slaved over to pay for. Of course not.

 

 "So we order you to move right now!" my mother said, snapping her fingers. All of a sudden men came in and started to seize our stuff. I was totally caught off guard, so I just threw an arm over Sooyoung and covered her. I saw the looks they were giving her; excuse me, but I put a ring on it first. Eyes away, LOOK AWAY FROM HER LEGS RIGHT NOW-

 

 "Min...?" aw she called me Min. I turned to her. "You're crushing my hand." Oh... right. I extracted it and I heard a noise from my left. I glared at my mother to find that she was sniggering at me. She then turned to my other mother.

 

 "SoAe my dear, they're still awkward..." 

 

 "You don't think...?"

 

 They both turned towards us. Oh my God, I recognize that face. It's the face she pulls whenever something erted comes to her mind. Oh no! She infected my other mother too. Together they look like the iest ajummas this planet has ever conceived. "You guys..." SoAe started.

 

 "Have you..." oh my God they're finishing each other's sentences.

 

 "Had..." Please don't say it, please don't say it, don't say-

 

 " yet?" WHAT THE FLYING IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO?! I just started yelling at them and practically kicked them out of my house, along with the workmen the size of trucks. As soon as I closed the door on them, I turned to Sooyoung. 

 

 "We're moving now, but don't answer the door on them." She hid what looked suspiciously like a smile. 

 

 So there we have it. Another story about how the two mothers managed to make things more awkward between us. And I was just making progress too...

 

 The thing about moving was that the house was barely homely. I was so used to my three bed roomed flat that I forgot what it was like to live in such a big house. Ah well... at least Sooyoung is happy. I took a glance at her and saw her chatting with one of her relatives, bouncing a baby on her lap. I felt something weird then, like a small twinge in my heart. She looks so happy cuddling this small child, that I forget that she can't naturally have one herself. I sighed to myself.

 

 Her appointment was exactly three days from now. I've put her on birth control pills weeks ago, as it was necessary to prepare for IVF. Even though she eats quite healthily, I still worry about whether or not she will be able to handle the pressure. Of course this is purely from a male's point of view, and for most women the tag line for us is this: no uterus, no opinion. 

 

 "Stop staring, you'll scare her away." I smiled and didn't even bother looking at Yunho. Yuri was considered a family friend of Sooyoung's, and she quickly befriended Hyo nuna too. So by extension, she had no choice but to become friends with the rest of us. That meant Yunho had to be here too, and he is a welcome addition to our manly drinking circle. 

 

 "Oh yeah? I reckon she has a thing for me," I replied.

 

 "I don't think so mate. She's attached to that guy on her lap. I don't think you have a chance."

 

 "I'm bigger than him in many ways," I retorted and Yunho laughed.

 

 "You're ridiculous," he chuckled, taking a swig of his beer. 

 

 "It's good that you're here to be honest," I said, my eyes wandering back to Sooyoung. "Because then it evens out the quantity of female to male ratio."

 

 "If that's smart code for 'I'm really glad I'm not the only one my wife will catch throwing up in the bathroom later', then it's my pleasure." 

 

 We stood in comfortable silence, watching the others lounge about the big living room this house was built with. Our parents weren't kidding when they said they wanted a huge family; the house contained five bedrooms and god knows what else. The basement was the size of my apartment. I looked at Sooyoung again, and watched her wipe the saliva off the corner of the kid's mouth. I sighed without thinking. "You sound like a girl in love."

 

 "I am in love," I confirmed. "But not just because of that."

 

 "What is it?" The thing about Yunho was that it was so easy to talk to him. It wasn't just because he was a psychiatrist, but also because he was genuinely a good guy to talk your problems to. So I told him about Sooyoung, and how we were still getting to know each other. How she wanted children, but missed out the part about not being able to have them naturally. Yunho probably understood, because he nodded and looked at Sooyoung too. "You're a good guy Changmin-ah, and you're a good husband to Sooyoung."

 

 "How do you know?" Damn Yunho, he sounds so convincing. 

 

 "Because I'm a psychiatrist and what I say goes," he stuck his tongue out at me and disappeared, probably searching for Yuri because he can't last five minutes without her. 

 

 It was a long night, but most of all it was a good night. After everyone was gone (Aunt Kyunghee wanted a Wonder Girls karaokethon, but we just shoved her in a taxi), Sooyoung and me were clearing up the place to make it less untidy. I was tired as hell, but I knew Sooyoung wanted company even when she didn't say anything. We were both washing the dishes, mainly because we didn't want to clean the living room. She was silent as she turned off the tap and I put away the last dish. I raised a brow at her somber expression.

 

 "Hey..." I reached for her and she immediately wrapped her arms around me. She was tense, and I suddenly had the urge to pull her onto my lap and cuddle her like she did with the kid today. "What's wrong?"

 

 "It's this house!" she suddenly cried out. "It's everything! I hate how everyone's asking if we've had yet-" I cringed at that. "And how children we wanted. And whenever I answer, they always have this questioning look on their faces! But this house!" she jumped back and spread her arms around, tears shining in her eyes. "This house gets to me the most! Have you seen all of those rooms?! How am I supposed to live in a house where there's so many rooms i have to fill?! I can't even produce a baby to put into one..." she quietened and her head drooped. 

 

 Slowly, just in case she starts violently thrashing about again, I pulled her closer. "You know it's not your fault."

 

 "I know!" she sobbed, looking at me with her big eyes swimming in tears. "But i just can't help but feel that I've failed you!" 

 

 "You haven't done anything that fails me," I told her firmly. "And don't let others fool you into thinking that it's your fault. We're gonna get through this." Oh God she's crying even more now. "Shh, shh, it's okay Sooyoung... come here..." 

 

 Sometimes, people don't need long words and poetic phrases; all they really need is a hug.

 

- - - - 

 

 I don't know what time it is and I don't know when, but -

 

 I couldn't even do anything. I couldn't even move. All I know is that Sooyoung was standing there in... I don't know what the she's wearing, but I'm taking it off her as soon as she comes close enough. "What are you wearing?"

 

 "Hmm... this?" she asked innocently as she twirled around and showed me her- her-... oh God they're perfect. And those hips... "I figured since you came home early today, I would help you release the tension of the day..." Have her legs been that long? I knew they were long but I didn't know her thighs were so delicious. "I can't make babies but there are other things I can make for you..."

 

 Say no more. You had me at your entrance.

 

 So I grabbed her, she gave a little giggle and our lips came clashing towards one another. Clothes were discarded and needless to say...

 

 Muffliato.

 

- - - -

 

  January 4, 2010

 

 10:45AM, doctor's clinic

 

 I didn't want to take her to my workplace, just in case one of my colleagues was handling our case. I wanted to perform the treatment for her, but she didn't seem to like that. "I want you to feel like a father, not someone who's doing a job." she told me. I guess her reasoning sounded well enough.

 

 We walked into the clinic with her hand tightly gripping mine. We checked in at the reception and waited for the doctor to call us. We sat in the quiet waiting area, surrounded by baby magazines and toys. Sooyoung was looking more and more depressed, so I decided to hug her close and comfort her. A hug really does work; because i could feel her shoulder muscles relax after a while. Then a man in a white lab coat came out, a clipboard in one hand and called us forward with a hesitant, "Choi Sooyoung?"

 

 We immediately followed him into a white room, spacious and with one hospital bed in the far left. The wall to our left was completely covered with computers and beeping machines. I sat Sooyoung on the hospital bed and dragged a chair next to her, clasping her hand once again as the doctor recited the procedure. "I'm only going to take some blood Mrs. Choi, because I need to monitor your oestrogen levels. Once I've checked your ovaries, I'll give the green light for the procedure to continue." He smiled encouragingly at us, then turned back to retrieve the needles the nurse has just brought in.

 

 A few minutes later, he turned back to Sooyoung with a needle in one hand. Sooyoung whispered to me urgently, as the doctor lowered the needle to her arm. "What baby will we have?" she talked fast as the doctor inserted the needle into her. She bit her lip.

 

 "A girl Sooyoung, like you've always wanted," I replied, her hair softly. "And she'll be beautful, because we're beautiful." She gave a small laugh but her eyes were still downcast. 

 

 "You promise?" she asked, the needle slowly being extracted from her arm.

 

 "I promise."