Ten minutes of tears later, Tao was exhausted. The things that he had seen and the things that he had imagined were constantly blurring in his mind, and Tao wondered whether he was finally going crazy, or if he had always been that way and had only just begun to notice. 

I can’t, anymore. Tao thought to himself tiredly, falling like a ragdoll in his brother’s arms.

Kris was picking him up, holding the shorter man to his chest as he made the slow trek up to Tao’s room.

“Who are you really, Kris?” Tao heard himself murmur, not really expecting an answer.

And he wasn’t given one, only a slight hum as he was carefully set down onto his bed, the covers pulled tight over his chest.

“It’s still early, yet, little peach. Go back to bed.”

Little peach. I haven’t heard that, since— since…

But a quiet song was on his brother’s lips, and Tao could already feel himself losing his train of thought, his eyes sliding slowly shut.

“Everything will be fine soon.”

For a second, Tao believed him, and gave a small, but genuine smile.

Just a bad dream. Or at least, that’s what his stepbrother had told him. Honestly, Tao didn’t quite know what to think about it anymore.

It had been so vivid.

The image of Yixing’s head rolling to a stop next to him flashed in Tao’s mind and he took in a shaky breath, feeling the restless feeling in him start to build again.

Instinctively, Tao reached again for his bowtie, spending the next ten minutes tying and untying it in front of his mirror.

He thought he imagined his reflection smiling wickedly back at him.

Even with all that had happened, the days continued to fly by at the same rate.

The once vibrant memories of his father playing and laughing with him, and Yixing, making him food, turning back to give a dimpled smile at him, had at some point become weathered, and grey.

He tried to repeat Yixing’s mantra in his head whenever he could, but at some point, Tao realized, he had eventually gotten used to Kris’ presence. He had even begun to get used to the man following him to and from school, despite having constantly told him not to.

It didn’t surprise him at all, when, on one early April morning, Tao found Kris standing just outside the door, waiting for him as usual. This time, though, Kris silently held out an arm, blocking Tao from leaving the house.

Tao looked at him questioningly, only to have an umbrella pressed gently into his hands.

“It looks like it’ll rain today.”

Tao looked up. There was nothing but blue, picturesque skies. 

“You’re crazy.” Tao spoke quietly. When he held a hand out expectantly to Kris, the man took it within his own without question. Rather than holding his hand, Tao used his hold to pull his stepbrother’s arm out further, using his arm as a stand for the umbrella that he hooked onto it before letting go.

Kris stood there, arm outstretched with the red umbrella dangling from it, watching as Tao ducked under his arm and began to walk away. It wasn’t until Tao was ten paces away that he stopped, turning his head back just slightly.

“…aren’t you coming?”

Kris broke into a brilliant grin, taking long strides to catch up.

No matter what, don’t trust anything Kris says or does.

No matter what, don’t trust anything Kris...

No matter what, don’t…

No matter… what…?

Tao was fighting a losing battle.

The bell was ringing. Another school day was over.

Tao remained seated as his classmates tumbled past him in their hurry to leave. He carefully saved his spot in the textbook, smoothing down the pages of his notebook before he closed both and slid them into his bag.

Although it took him a full minute to neatly pack his bag, when he finally looked up, he realized he wasn’t alone.

“Well, well, well. We’ve finally caught you alone, Huang Zitao.”

Tao closed his eyes, hearing rather than seeing Kai crack his knuckles. He could hear Sehun and Chen whispering and laughing to themselves, and the sound of several sets of shoes as they drew closer over the linoleum floors.

“Mr. Do gave us all a week’s worth of detentions because of you, you know that? Now it’s time for some payback.”

From underneath the desk, out of their sight, Tao’s fingers quietly opened his pencil case, carefully and quietly pulling out a freshly sharpened pencil. 

To his surprise, the footsteps stopped just beyond him with a thud, and Tao opened his eyes to see a tall student holding a hand up to Kai’s chest, preventing him from going further.

“C’mon, Kai, don’t be like that.”

"Get out of the way, Chanyeol."

He was obviously their friend. So … why was he helping Tao?

Tao didn’t want to stick around to find out, so he hurriedly zipped up his bag while Chanyeol had Kai distracted (“But he started it first!”), slinging it over his shoulder as he got up toward the door.

“Hey, don’t even think about leaving, you little punk!”

Kai clamped a hand around Tao’s wrist, pulling him back. He could see in the reflection of the window that the man was pulling back a hand, winding up a punch. Tao could also see Chanyeol turning back to grab at Kai, but could tell that Chanyeol wouldn’t get there in time to stop his friend. 

So without thinking, Tao protected himself, whipping around and jamming his pencil with brutal force into Kai’s incoming fist.

Tao watched with detachment as the other student recoiled, shouting in pain as he clutched his hand to his chest. Kai held his hand up to the light, screaming louder as he realized that the pencil had gone in through the webbing between his fingers and out the other side.

“You freak!!” The man was screaming, as Chen and Sehun dragged him out of the classroom, fear suddenly in their eyes. “You stabbed me! You’re crazy, just like the rest of your family!” 

Kai continued to scream as the door slowly shut behind them, but Tao paid them no mind. He felt his heartbeat begin to slow down, and rolled his neck, hearing it crack. 

“Jesus.”

Their tall friend was still there. Tao whipped around to glare at him.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell, and I don’t think they’ll tell anyone either. Kai’s got pride issues.” Chanyeol said, answering Tao’s silent question.

Tao was barely able to nod before a hand was shoved in front of his face.

“Park Chanyeol.”

Tao took the hand warily.

“…T—“

“Huang Zitao. I know. We’re in art class together. You don’t remember me?” 

Tao frowned, rewinding his memories until he could picture the classroom perfectly. Park Chanyeol… was the tall, big-eared boy who always sat by Kai, Sehun and Chen, in the corner. Tao could vibrantly picture the man smiling, a gummy smile with crinkling eyes.

“I guess not,” Chanyeol said with a hint of annoyance when the other didn’t respond. Still, the man continued to stand in Tao’s path.

“… You know, for someone who thinks he’s better than everyone else, you’re a ing lunatic.”

Tao scowled, not liking where the conversation was going.

“… but maybe that’s part of why I find you interesting.”

Chanyeol was staring at him, not with fear, but with fascination. Tao was suddenly reminded of Kris’ similar stare. He shuddered, moving out from past Chanyeol and making his way to the door.

“Hey, before you go.” 

Tao stopped in his tracks, turning to see Chanyeol coming up to him, pressing his number into Tao’s hand.

“Let’s hang out sometime. Call me.”

Tao recoiled from Chanyeol’s touch, as if burned. 

It was raining.

Kris was holding the red umbrella open, waiting for Tao at the school’s gates, a knowing smirk on his face.

Kris knew something was wrong the moment Tao had begun to quietly follow in his shadow, allowing the older man to lead when he had never been allowed to before.

“… Did something happen at school?”

“… No.”

Kris narrowed his eyes, seeing how Tao glanced to the left, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Don’t lie to me, Tao.” 

“I’m not.” Tao turned to him with a fake smile, sliding a hand through the loop of Kris’ arm tentatively and pulling close, hoping the rare act of affection would draw the other’s attention away as it usually did. “Come on, let’s just go home.”

This time though, Kris stopped dead, looking down at the delicate hand that rested on his arm. There were faint, reddish marks in Tao’s skin, clearly new and just faintly swollen – in the shape a handprint.

Kris let the umbrella drop to grab onto Tao’s hand, pulling it up to examine it closely. The red umbrella clattered to the ground, and the rain began to pour onto their heads, quickly soaking their clothes through.

“Who did this?” Kris was forced to shout over the sound of the suddenly intense rain, shaking Tao’s hand in front of his face.

Tao tried to pull away, but found himself rooted to the spot by Kris’ strong hands. “Let go, Kris!”

But the look in Kris’ eye grew stronger, and his grip tightened as well. Tao cried out, feeling the bones in his wrist begin to creak.

“Why are you lying to me?” Kris snarled through the sheets of rain. 

“I said, who did this to you?!”

Tao flinched back from the sound of Kris’ voice.

“Kim… Jongin.” Tao ultimately admitted, unable to hold back the tears that welled up in the corners of his eyes.

Kris looked at Tao’s expression, as if finally noticing the fear in his eyes, before trailing his gaze down to the grip that he had on Tao’s wrist. He let go immediately. 

“You’re scaring me…” Tao sniffed, pulling his wrist to his body. 

“I—I’m sorry,” Kris was apologizing, trying and failing on several attempts to pull Tao into a hug, the other squirming out of his grip every time.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.“

Tao finally let the man bring him in close, shuddering in the other’s grip as he felt the other wrap his coat around the two of them.

“Please— don’t be scared— I’m so sorry.“

Tao felt kisses pressed into his hair and the man continued to hold him in silence until the rain had stopped falling, and Tao’s tears had dried up.

He’s a devil sent to punish me, Tao thought absently to himself, when they were back in the house and Kris was gently, apologetically toweling his hair dry. 

But maybe that’s what I deserve.

Hands were touching him everywhere, and Tao felt a suffocated bliss settle deep into his bones.

On Wednesday, Tao finally began to get an inkling of his mother’s true intentions.

He was plinking the piano keys quietly, standing idly in the living room as he waited for Kris to come fetch him. Kris had promised to take him on a ride in his corvette that night. 

What was taking him so long?

The muffled sound of his mother’s ugly laughter reached Tao’s ears and he turned to face the noise. 

In the hallway, he could hear an old song being played on their phonograph, and the clinking of glasses from within the reading room. Tao tiptoed closer, finding that the door had been left open just a crack.

He peered in.

His mother was leaning into Kris, clearly drunk, trying her best to sway to the music while not spilling the glass of wine she had in her hand.

“You look… so much like your father.” His mother slurred, sliding her arms around Kris’ neck. Kris’ arms slid around her waist and she leaned closer.

Tao didn’t know why, but he felt a cold pit settle into his stomach and turned away, unable to bear seeing more.

Tao opened the door to the attic bedroom, pushing the door closed behind him as he crept into Kris’ room. 

The room was immaculate, arranged in a way that made it hard to believe that someone actually lived in the room. Tao frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets, not knowing what he was even doing.

All he knew was that whatever had been going downstairs, he really didn’t want to know about it. Or hear it. 

Tao suddenly felt strange, as if his stomach was flipping at the thought of his mother and Kris standing so intimately close to each other. He didn’t like the feeling. 

A part of him wanted to punish Kris somehow for his actions, so Tao pulled out the suitcase from beneath Kris’ bed, laying it on the bed. After a second of consideration, he bent over it, undoing the clasps and pulling it open.

As expected, expensive clothes fell out in bundles, and Tao had to pull button-up shirts, dress pants and suit blazers out from the suitcase before his hands finally touched something that was most definitely not a suit.

He pulled out an old looking cookie tin; paint chipped and faded in places. It looked decades old. Tao cracked it open eagerly, wanting to see what secrets could have been hidden inside of it.

What he wasn’t expecting were the multitude of leather bound booklets and cards that spilled out onto the floor, causing Tao to fling the cookie tin back onto the bed temporarily as he bent down to pick them up. 

Tao stared, looking down at the items on the ground. These weren’t just any documents – they were ID cards, credit cards, passports. Dozens of passports – some American, a couple Egyptian, French, South African, Chinese... Tao’s head spun. 

And there were two of each.

Tao picked up one of the two Chinese passports with trembling hands, flipping it open to the first page.

Wu Yifan, the passport proclaimed, next to Kris’ face.

Tao dropped the passport, quickly picking up its twin. When he flipped it open to the first page though, he noticed that unlike the first, this one was completely blank. A quick appraisal of the other passports yielded the same result – one with Kris’ face and a fake name attached to it, and the other completely blank.

A noise pulled Tao out of his thoughts, and he spun his head toward the door where the telltale sounds of someone slowly coming up the stairs spurred him into motion.

He quickly and haphazardly shoved the clothes that had been lying on the bed back into the suitcase before bending down to pick up the documents.

He opened the cookie tin again, preparing to dump the documents in—when for a second, his eyes caught on something familiar.

A white box, with a crimson red bow.

But he had no time to stop, so Tao simply captured the image in his mind before shoving everything back into the cookie tin, shutting it firmly and placing it back within the suitcase.

He hurriedly closed the suitcase, redoing the clasps before sliding it back underneath the bed.

The footsteps were dangerously close now, and Tao looked around for an escape. Frantically prying open the window, he was just able to hop onto the ledge and pull the window down before him, clambering down the drainpipe just as Kris opened the door.

Tao hit the ground running and didn’t stop until he had reached the woods, never once stopping to look back to the window to see if Kris was watching. 

They didn’t go out in Kris’ corvette that night. Nor the nights after.

The sound of a knock on the door woke Tao from his restless dreams. 

“Ah, yes, is this the Huang residence?”

Tao blinked at the sight of a young police officer standing in front of him, tipping his hat with a genial expression.

“Yes, officer…?” Tao plastered a bright smile on his face, the only one aware of how ill-fitting the expression was on his face.

The officer took off his sunglasses, tucking them into his shirt pocket.

“Officer Kim Minseok.” The officer grinned. Tao smiled back blandly, shaking the other’s hand stiffly. 

“Officer Minseok, can I assist you?”

The police officer pulled his hat off in order to scratch at the back of his head.

“Ah, nothing big really. A local boy has gone missing, and my partner and I are just going house by house to see if anyone in the neighborhood might know anything about it.”

Tao raised his eyebrows. “A local boy…? Who?”

“You didn’t hear the news? He’s been missing a couple of days now. His name is Kim Jongin.”

Tao felt his chest suddenly growing tight. “…Kim Jongin … you said?”

“Yes, did you know him?”

A bead of sweat ran down the back of Tao’s neck. “… I might have seen him once or twice around school.”

Officer Minseok lifted his eyebrows, pulling out a notepad and staring at it. “Really? Well a, uh, Kim Jongdae?, whom I spoke with earlier, seemed to imply that you had seen him more than just ‘once or twice’.”

“Did he now?” Tao replied, numbly, hands suddenly sweaty.

“He – he was in my art class, so yes, I technically saw him every day, if that’s what he means.“ 

Officer Minseok shook his head. “Let me be clearer about this – Kim Jongdae mentioned the fact that there was a physical altercation between you and Kim Jongin last week. Can you tell me a little about that?”

Tao’s hands shook behind his back. Something within Tao snapped and suddenly, a quivering look was on his face, and he was turning to the officer with feigned tears in his eyes.

“You got me. I’ll admit it – I know Jongin. He bullies me in school all the time – we had a brief fight about it that one time – nothing, really, just him yelling in my face – and I’m … afraid that I went home crying. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it, you see – I – I was ashamed, and I didn’t want to tell anyone about it…”

Officer Minseok’s expression quickly turned to pity. “Yes, I had heard that Jongin was a very … disagreeable young man. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Tao nodded, wiping moisture away from his eyes, sniffing before pretending to gather himself. “It’s alright. But I really don’t have any idea what happened to him, and I’m so sorry for not telling you the truth sooner, officer.”

Officer Minseok patted his arm. “That’s quite alright.”

Then the officer paused. “… If I can just ask, just for the record, where were you last Wednesday night?”

“I was home.”

Well, for the most part.

“Is there someone who can corroborate your story?”

Tao swallowed silently. “Well—“

“—I can, officer. He came home from school, I made dinner for us – turkey and gravy – and then I took him out on a drive.”

Officer Minseok turned to Kris, furrowing his eyebrows. “And you are…?”

“His older brother.” Kris said, coming up to Tao and throwing an arm around Tao’s shoulder.

Officer Minseok looked to his face and Tao pulled his best imitation of a sweet, gentle smile. 

“Yes, that’s right. Kris has got a corvette convertible, and I kept begging him to ride in it. I asked him if he could take me out and we must have stayed out –“

“—One, maybe two hours? The weather was fantastic.” Kris finished for him. Tao looked up at him and smiled, and Kris squeezed his shoulder, returning it with his own.

Minseok jotted down his notes before coughing and closing his notepad. “Well, that’s all I needed to know. Thank you for your time, gentlemen.”

“Oh, anytime, Officer Minseok.” Tao leaned into the officer, placing a warm hand on the other’s shoulder. “You will let me know if you find out any news?”

“Of course. But, this isn’t the first time it’s happened - Jongin has run away from home before. You must know how it is with other boys your age.” 

Tao smiled tightly. “I’m sure I do.”

“I have a feeling he’ll turn up eventually.” Officer Minseok gave a warm grin, tipping his hat at the younger man before walking out the door.

Tao made to close it after him, but stopped when the officer stepped back up to the crack in the door.

“Oh, before I forget, did your housekeeper ever contact you to let you know where he had gone?”

Tao felt his smile faltering briefly. 

“… No, he… didn’t.”

“Strange, isn’t it? How people can just disappear on you.” Officer Minseok commented before turning away again, this time making his way down the long driveway. 

Tao waited until the man had pulled out of their driveway before he locked the door and let out the breath he had been holding since it had begun.

The warmth remained on his shoulder, and Tao turned his head just slightly to see the small smile on his brother’s face. They remained standing at the door in silence, and after a few moments, Tao felt his brother’s hand reach up, the side of his face before gripping his chin and turning it to face his own.

Tao felt his breath catching as he stared into his brother’s eyes. 

“So, where were you that night, Tao? I looked all over.”

His mouth suddenly felt dry. Tao his lips.

“… I was around.”

The sound of Kris’ quiet laughter was the only warning Tao had before Kris leaned in.

Tao felt soft breath on his face before a soft, loving kiss was pressed against the corner of his mouth. Tao shuddered, his eyes widening in shock. 

In the distance, the back door opened, footsteps drawing close, and Kris pulled away, giving Tao a small wink before leaving to greet his mother.

He lifted a shaky hand to his mouth, touching his lips quietly.

When had things become this way?

For once, his mother was calling out his name.

“Zitao, is that you in the hallway? … Come here and help mother.”

Tao could only see her back from the crack in the door. She was seated at her dresser.

Tao opened the door slowly, walking up to his mother with an unhurried pace. 

She was dressed in a pure white, silk nightgown that flattered her in all the right places, showing off the bare expanse of her shoulders and emphasizing her long legs. 

Tao himself was dressed, as usual, from head-to-toe in all black.

His mother pulled her hair over her shoulder and he found himself holding a brush, standing at her back as she faced the mirror in front of her. 

“Be a good boy and brush my hair.”

Tao silently brought the brush up to her straight, black hair, so much like his own, and began to run the brush through it.

Fei was staring at him through her mirror, watching his reflection closely.

“… You know, you look just like I did when I was young.” 

Tao remained quiet.

“You’re blessed with the beauty that I once had. I’m happy for you – with that face, you’ll find a good wife when you come of age.”

He caught his mother’s gaze. 

“You know, Tao, the moment you were born, I knew you were mine. I wish only the best for you, and I hope you wish the same for me.”

There was no sincerity in her eyes.

“… There’s no need to lie, mother. You’ve never had an attachment to me, and I’ve known that you hated me ever since I was a child.”

Tao looked back down, focusing on brushing through the coarse hair. 

“Is it because I also look like my father? Or is it because you secretly hate me for taking away your youth and your beauty?”

His mother gripped the dresser with white fingers. 

“Stop brushing my hair, Tao.” She commanded in an authoritative tone, but Tao ignored her, pulling the brush through her hair over and over, faster and faster, watching with fascination as strands of hair began to pull away with each .

Fading black mixed with shades of gray and white.

“I said stop!”

Her mother rose and turned, the brush jerked out of her hair roughly only to pull a chunk of her hair out with it. Tao held the brush behind his back, watching her passively as she cried out in pain and held her hand to the back of her head.

Fei pulled back a hand and slapped Tao across the face. Tao felt his face whip to the side.

He quietly put the brush down on the dresser, and walked out of the room.

The restlessness was back, threefold.

Tao slammed his fingers down on the piano, hearing the dissonant chords that sounded out. He repeated the sound again, again, again. Sinking down slowly to the bench, he stared down with unseeing eyes at the black and white keys.

He repeated the chord again.

Tao sighed, closing his eyes, this time readjusting his posture and settling his feet properly against the peddles. Holding down the damper pedal, he lifted his right hand, and began to play.

Even he had to admit – it sounded a bit odd without the left hand.

As if agreeing with his thought, chords began to play out on the lower end of the piano, matching his pace. Tao opened his eyes, looking to his left to see Kris seated at the bench with him, his own right hand in his lap, his left playing the accompaniment to Tao’s melody.

Tao smiled, and closed his eyes once more, feeling his way around the keys with just his fingers. He tested Kris, picking up the pace and slowing it down, only to hear his brother keep up perfectly, not once skipping a note or missing the beat. 

Tao moaned, rolling his stiff neck and hearing it crack. He shifted closer to his brother, and could feel Kris doing the same. Tao laid his head down on the broad shoulder beside him, feeling a hand come to rest on his knee. 

As the melody began to pick up pace again, Tao felt a strange tightening in his pants. With his eyes closed, it sounded like the two hands of a single pianist. Playing like this, so intimately – it was arousing. Tao moaned, suddenly wanting to cross his legs to hide his shame.

Without stopping the music, he felt the slow slide of a hand up his knee, trailing up his leg, briefly slipping between them to caress the inner thigh. Tao gasped, slowly spreading his legs further apart, foot slipping off the damper pedal. Kris took it over quickly with his own, ensuring that the piece continued even as Kris’ right hand popped the button to his pants and reached for what was inside. 

Tao was so lost in the overload of his senses that he forgot where he was and who he was with. Instead, he gasped, mouth slipping open as he leaned even more heavily on Kris’ shoulder, left hand gripping Kris’ arm tightly as the other began to give him full, long with his hand.

The piece began to recapitulate, but by this time, Tao’s fingers finally slipped off the keys, hand shaking.

Suddenly, the bench was pushed behind them and Tao found himself pushed to lean heavily onto the piano, smashing the keys in a loud, raucous noise. He grasped the piano with trembling hands as Kris began to him aggressively, pressing heated kisses up his neck, left hand slipping underneath his shirt. 

“I—I’m so close—“ Tao began, before he stiffened suddenly, giving a stifled groan of his brother’s name. His legs shook, knees knocking together as he came over the ivory keys. Kris held him tightly, hushing him as he made gasping whines through each intense pulse – and then it was over.

Tao slowly slid down the piano, pants still around his ankles.

The other was staring at his hand, white with Tao’s ion, eyes misted over with lust. Tao watched with desire and disgust as Kris slowly the off his hand.

What… just happened?

Tao trembled, thoroughly disgusted with himself. His stepbrother had just given him a . And he had enjoyed it. 

Tao pulled up his pants hastily.

“We shouldn’t have done that.” He whispered in a horrified, breathless gasp.

“Why not?” Kris was asking, bending over to a hand over Tao’s cheek.

“Because—you’re—“

Kris was picking him up now, pulling him off the ground and setting him back onto his feet. “What are you so afraid of, Tao?” 

I’m afraid of…I’m afraid of…

Tao watched as Kris quietly shuffled around him, cleaning the traces of their tryst off of the white keys.

Dirty. He was so dirty.

His skin crawled with the memories of what just happened, and soon Tao found himself scrabbling for his phone, wanting, needing something else to get itchy restlessness out from underneath his skin.

“Tao! I was starting to wonder if you’d forgotten me again.”

Tao swallowed drily. “Chanyeol… Are you free right now? Let’s go for a walk.”

“A… walk? Tao, it’s 11PM. Isn’t it a little late for walks?”

Tao pulled his cellphone from his face, about to end the call before a loud noise drew his attention.

“Ah—ah—ah—It was a joke, a joke, don’t hang up yet!”

Tao held the phone back up against his ear.

“…So, a walk, you said? Sure. Where would you like to meet up?”

“… Do you know the woods out by my house?”

Chanyeol was already waiting for him, pushing off from where he had been leaning against a tree to give him an excited wave.

“Over here!”

Tao walked over slowly, taking his time. 

“Hey, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol smiled at him brilliantly, before turning around and gesturing around them with wide arms.

“Well, we’re here. What did you have in mind?”

“There’s an abandoned playground further in,” Tao started, gesturing with his head toward the woods, “by where the old elementary school used to be.”

Chanyeol shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

By the time they had gotten there, it had gotten dark. Tao was on the roundabout, leaning against its rails as Chanyeol began to push at it slowly. 

The rusted metal squealed as Tao spun in a circle, watching as the trees whirled past him.

“Tell me, Chanyeol, what are you afraid of?”

Chanyeol looked at him as he passed by, frowning. 

“What am I afraid of? Well… heights, I guess. And small, constricting spaces. Nothing strange. Why, what about you?”

Tao passed by Chanyeol two more times before he responded.

“… Have you ever looked in the mirror… and been afraid who you saw in it?”

Chanyeol frowned, pursing his lips. “I’m not sure what you mean. You mean, you don’t recognize who you are?”

“It’s not that. I know that what I’m supposed see. But… it’s a version of me that I never want to see.”

“… Why?”

“We spend our entire lives, looking out of our own eyes. So… the only time you ever see yourself is through mirrors, and photographs, right? Artificial sources.”

Chanyeol hummed.

“So… it feels foreign and unnatural to look into a mirror. I always feel as if there’s something wrong when I do —as if there’s another me from a parallel universe, peering right back.”

“So you’re afraid of… who you might be?”

“I guess I am.” Tao whispered, more to himself, watching the shadows spin around him.

“So, what did you say to that?”

“Nothing, really, I just sort of stared at him until he left me alone. What else was I supposed to do?”

The two of them were laughing quietly, making their way back out of the woods slowly.

As they stepped out from the line of trees, they slowly stopped laughing, standing in comfortable silence.

Chanyeol broke the silence a few moments later.

“Look, Tao… I had a great time tonight.”

Tao stared at Chanyeol, tilting his head in consideration. “I… did too, Chanyeol.”

“So… What does this mean?”

Tao frowned. “About what?”

Chanyeol smiled. “… About us.”

Tao shook his head, suddenly confused. “Wait… I’m not sure I follow, Chanyeol.”

Suddenly, Chanyeol was backing him up, and Tao was stumbling into a tree, falling heavily onto it.

“I mean, you’re gay, aren’t you?”

Tao felt his mouth go dry at the abrupt, personal question.

“So what if I am?”

Chanyeol shrugged. “Isn’t it obvious? I like you.”

“Don’t get me wrong – I like women. But, I can’t say that I’m not attracted to you. What do you say?”

Tao felt disgusted. “What do you mean what do I say? Wait a mi—you thought this all was a date?”

Chanyeol quirked an eyebrow, boxing Tao in with hands on both sides of his head. “You thought I came out here just to hang out?”

“Of course—“

Tao was interrupted by lips and a tongue pushing into his mouth without his permission. Tao yelled in anger into the kiss, pushing back at Chanyeol, only to find that the man suddenly wouldn’t budge. He began to panic when, instead of moving away, the man’s arms began to wrap around him.

Tao bit down hard on the other man’s lip.

“!” Chanyeol reared back, placing a hand on his lip and pulling it away, only to see it covered in blood. Tao stared at him with shock in his eyes as well, reaching out to help him.

“I’m so sor—“

Tao was interrupted with a erpunch to the face, and soon found himself eating dirt, a knee to his back forcing him down when he attempted to struggle.

“Kai was right. You are crazy. But lucky for you I like the crazy ones. They're freaks in bed.” 

Tao was clawing at the ground, trying to pull his body up only to have a knee slammed back down into his back, forcing the breath out of him. 

"Stop struggling, I'm sure you've done this before. Quit acting like you haven't."

He briefly stopped thrashing when he thought he heard a belt being undone behind him, quickly followed by the sound of a zipper being pulled down.

"You like this, don't you? Being held down like this - you're getting hard, you dirty thing."

No. NO!

He felt hands reaching down to his pants and began to scream hoarsely, his struggles renewing tenfold. 

“Someone help me!” 

Feeling the cold air begin to hit his legs as his pants were pulled down, his eyes began to blur with tears. He reached out, clawing into the dirt.

“DADDY!” 

But of course, Suho wasn’t going to come, and Tao could feel Chanyeol begin to tug at his underwear. So Tao closed his eyes and screamed for the one man who would.

“KRIS!”

Tao felt the weight lift suddenly off of him. It was as if time was slowing down.

Tao laid there for a few seconds more, trembling and fearful, before turning around.

There was Kris, gloved hands holding the handle of a shovel, choking Chanyeol back with it. A gardening belt lay forgotten on the ground. 

Chanyeol was making horrible, gurgling noises, reaching out toward Tao with writhing fingers. 

The look on Kris’ face was terrifying – his normally beautiful features were contorted into a monster’s snarl, sharp canines showing, eyebrows deeply furrowed. 

Kris was putting even more force into his grip now, and Tao watched as Chanyeol’s feet began to lift off the ground, face slowly turning blue. 

But Tao had other plans. Picking up the trowel that was still lying nearby, Tao stood back on shaky legs and knocked Chanyeol out from under Kris’ grip, slamming him into the ground. Getting on top of his classmate in what looked like an almost ual position, Tao slapped the man a few times in the face before holding the trowel high above his head.

Tao brought it down hard, several dozen times, digging it into the other’s flesh and twisting, all the while making inhuman screams of grief and rage. 

It wasn’t until Chanyeol had finally stopped twitching that Tao began to slow in his motions, eventually dropping the trowel to the ground. A soft chuckle under his breath slowly become loud, cackling laughter and Tao jumped from Chanyeol’s body, grabbing Kris’ arm to point at the corpse on the ground, laughing the entire time.

Kris was looking at him with a mixture of shocked awe and concern, and Tao realized that at some point, his laughter had turned into tears. 

He collapsed in Kris’ arms, covering his face with bloodied hands.

What had he done?

Don’t cry.

Leave it to me. 

Brother will take care of you.