[prologue: normal]

In a four walled cage of claustrophobia, Suho refuses to respond. The gentle voice of the psychiatrist he visits every first Monday of the month (for the past 12 years of his life) only calls on curt questions and lacklustre replies. 

He leans back into the black leather chair, but he is far from relaxed. He attempts to hide his shaking hands by clasping them together, but she notices. 

"You’re trembling." She matter-of-factly points out as, for the first time in the past hour, Suho looks up to meet her gaze.

His eyes are weary and unfocused, but at least now the images that used to scream at him no longer haunt his existence.

Now they're replaced with memories of him, traces of what were thriving emotions splattered over a monotonous canvas of black and white. 

He tries to forget, tries to block out the images that never seem to fade, but he has seen too much.

Forgetting is no longer a possibility but a hoped reality, one that would never come true even after years of sleepless nights and tiresome days. 

Sleep is his only escape, but even then, everyone in his dreams screams at him. He closes his eyes.

---

Junmyun opens his eyes and the pitch black world of silence fades into a bustling room of babies crying, kids fighting, parents gossiping and the occasional punch of laughter. His eyes are frantic and searching, but when his gaze lands on a small boy with chocolate brown hair and gentle smiling eyes, the room falls back to silence. 

The only time he breaks eye contact is when his mum's comforting hand on his head shifts his attention away. 

"Come on Junmyun it's your turn." 

"Mummy, he won't stop looking at me." Junmyun whines, but even so, he knows he enjoys the little time they had together. 

"If you don't look at him, he won't look at you." 

She grabs his hand and guides him into the psychiatrist's office as his bottom lip juts out, head bobbing up and down, messy hair poking out in all directions. 

His mum glances back at the empty room before stepping inside the office and letting the door close behind her. 

---

Many of us blame the timing. We say that time is of the essence so we shouldn't spend it on unnecessary things, things that won't make us money, things that won't m