Yunho stared at his reflection on the mirror, sighing deeply as he saw the tiredness there. Who said that he was having fewer schedules nowadays? Despite his lack appearance on the television, Yunho actually still had lots things to do regarding their upcoming album.

Speaking about their next album, of course Yunho couldn't leave out the tenth anniversary of his debut day; which was today. By now, he has been together with Changmin for more than ten years.

“Ten years... Time surely flies quickly, eh?” murmured Yunho, chuckling bitterly upon the realization.

It has been that long since his first time stepped on the stage, and never once he forgot about the other three. In fact, Yunho didn’t even think that he would be able to do so. Not when every little thing was actually making him remember about s over and over again.

Just like when he was looking at the coconut tree, then his mind would immediately go to Junsu.
Or when he was hearing someone’s fluent English, then his mind would immediately go to Yoochun.

The days longing for each other quickly passes by
So fast, so fast, only

And Jaejoong... there was definitely no way for Yunho to forget that certain man.

Not when he was about to sleep inside a plane, since he could easily remember on how Jaejoong covered his face with the blanket.
Not when he was cooking his meal, since he could also remembered that the oldest one has always loved cooking so much.
Not when he was taking the bath as well, since he could remember Jaejoong's incredibly unique habit; taking the photos of members.

Not even now, when Yunho was just looking at his tired face.

“Okay. Let’s end the practice for now.”

After the dance instructor clapped his hands several times already, Jaejoong was slump his body towards the floor. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to stabilize his breath. Jaejoong was smiling as he was able to hear the noises in the background, which definitely came from Changmin, Yoochun, and Junsu.

Speaking about the noises, Jaejoong suddenly realized that there was something wrong. Upon the realization, he quickly opened his eyes and scanned around the room. Soon after he could see that Yunho was sitting alone at the side of the room, Jaejoong instantly knew that the leader wasn't feeling well at all.

“Yunho,” Jaejoong called, sitting beside the younger one almost immediately. “Are you okay?”

Yunho took a glance towards Jaejoong, giving the other a faint smile. “I’m fine,” He answered smoothly. “Just a bit tired because of the practice. Other than that, I'm okay.”

“Don't lie,” replied Jaejoong, showing a disagreement over his face. Hesitantly, he moved his palm and placed it on the other person's forehead. Soon after he could feel the temperature, Jaejoong was unintentionally letting out a gasp. “You have a fever, Silly. You should go back to dorm.”

“I’m alright,” said Yunho, persistence with his own will.

“You’re not-”

Before Jaejoong was able to continue his words, something on his lips has already prevented him to do so. Jaejoong was widening his eyes in surprise, as he realized that Yunho’s lips were against his already. And even after he knew that he shouldn't reply it; due to the fact that Yunho was sick, Jaejoong really didn't have any choice.

“You...” Jaejoong muttered after they've parted the lips. “Do you want to infect me with your virus?”

Yunho giggled happily, somehow feeling satisfied with his sudden doing. “Isn't that fun?” He said, before resting his head on the oldest shoulder. “Just stay by my side. That will be enough.”

Jaejoong sighed as he was rolling his eyes lazily. “Take care yourself better,” He said, “You're the leader, Yunho. You can't easily get sick, because you're the one leading us. If you need anything, ask us. We're meant to help each other.”

Yunho sighed deeply, remembering the certain memory of him and Jaejoong. In the time like this, Yunho felt that he was missing Jaejoong by his side so much; especially when he saw that Jaejoong was crying on the stage. If he could, Yunho would quickly jump and embrace the oldest like the old days.

Reflected on the mirror, the buttons of my shirts are in the wrong buttonholes
Even with these little things, I truly long for you
The time we cannot spend together have deepened our love
If I’m at a loss in words, I’ll just kiss you lightly on your cheek

I miss you, my thoughts are always with you from the bottom of my heart
Once again, I want to give my heart to you
If you call me, I’ll go to you
I want to smile by your side

“I can't, Jae... I can't ask for anyone's help anymore now,” Yunho murmured, smiling sadly upon the thought. “I need you. I can't let Changmin suffered as well just because of my thought. I can't let him breaking apart, Jae. Not anymore.”

Witnessing on how Changmin threw the poisonous words towards JYJ years ago was enough for Yunho to get shivered. Yet, there was no other things that scarier than the breaking down Changmin.

It was happened years ago, not long after JYJ has finally left both of Changmin and Yunho.

Yunho was still in his sleep, when he suddenly heard a noise from the outside. Upon the sudden disruption, Yunho was finally opening his heavy eyes; feeling annoyed with the noises. But soon after he has reached the door, Yunho was immediately freezing on his place. It was a clear and painful sobs, which only meant that was, belong to Changmin.

Yunho turned the door knob slowly, wanting to make sure whether his guess was right or not. From there, Yunho was now able to look at Changmin's figure on the couch. He couldn't help to not widen his eyes, as he could see that Changmin's body started shaking uncontrollably.

“Changmin?” whispered Yunho; a bit too loud, actually.

The youngest was indeed surprised to hear Yunho's voice, as he was moving further from Yunho within no time. “Hyung,” He greeted, showing a smile as he pretended to be alright, “What's wrong? You're... Aren't you sleeping just now?”

“What happened?” asked Yunho directly, wasn't even trying to hide his confusion.

“I...” Changmin gulped down, trying to arrange his words in the right order. “I'm sorry, Hyung. If only it was Jaejoong-Hyung who stays here, then you wouldn't have to suffer this much. You'll be much happier if I'm not me; but Jaejoong-Hyung. So... I'm sorry, Hyung.”

“Hey, what are you talking about? It's not your fault, Min,” Yunho replied, quickly wrapping his arms around the youngest. “The lawsuit and my break up, none of those are your fault.”

“But- But if I'm Jaej-”

“You're not him, Changmin,” Yunho said again, rubbing Changmin's back softly on the process, “But of course there's nothing wrong with that. I'm happy enough to have you here.”

“Don't lie, Hyung,” replied Changmin, placing his head on the older person's neck.

“I'm not ly-”

“You're not! I know that you're not happy, Hyung!” snapped Changmin suddenly, making the other jerked on his place almost right away. “What did you do for these times? Locked yourself inside the room. And you never smile anymore, Hyung. Is that what was happy for you?”

“Ch-”

“Damn. Damn you, Hyung. I-” Changmin whispered, showing a clear depression and pain. “How I wish that I could just disappear from this world.”

“No! God, no. Don't say such thing, Min,” Yunho said, releasing the younger in panic so that he would be able to look directly on the other person's eyes. “You never make me like this. It's my own fault, okay? I'm sorry. I promise that I will show you my smile. Please don't leave, Min. I need you. It's the truth.”

Ever since that time, Yunho has promised to himself for not letting the youngest one down anymore. Since he knew that the cause of the Changmin's sadness was him, Yunho always tried his best to show his smile; fake or not. Even though it was actually painful for him, there was no way that he would let Changmin to see his weak state once more.

I miss you, my thoughts are always with you, from the bottom of my heart
For countless times, to heart, I’ll smile for you

Even though sad, or happy
I want to smile by your side

As he remembered on how painful the memories between him and Changmin, he couldn't help to think that he was such a fail leader. He couldn't protect his lover from the sadness, and he also couldn't protect the youngest from the pain and guilty. Upon those facts, Yunho has already started thinking that maybe... Maybe he was also unconsciously hurting the other two members.

Yoochun and Junsu.

Even though Yunho was proud to see s became charismatic these days, he couldn't help to feel lonely. It was as if the fact screamed aloud towards Yunho, asking him to see how much he has missed for these times. Upon the thought, Yunho sometimes wished to see old members once more; when they were still a bit hyper and cheerful.

“Hyung! Hyung! Yunho-Hyung~”

Yunho, who was sitting right beside Yoochun on the couch, turned his attention towards the squealing voice. He was able to see the ordinary Junsu, who was jumping and running at the same time towards him with a bunch of CDs.

Yunho had to prevent himself from laughing though, as he could hear Yoochun was mimicking Junsu's intonation perfectly.

“Hyung, look at this!” Junsu shouted excitedly, trying to ignore the existence of an annoying Yoochun. “After a long wait, my ArcheAge has finally arrived! I'm sure that I'll pass Hyukjae's level soon enough! Oh, how I can't wait to play anym-”.

“What is it, Su?” asked Yoochun, maintaining his calmness even though he could see the glare from Junsu's eyes.

“I didn't talk to you, Chun. So... shut up,” said Junsu with a pout.

“Uh-huh. I'm not talking to you as well. I just mumbled by myself,” replied Yoochun with his mischievous grin on the face.

Junsu rolled his eyes lazily, before turning his attention back to Yunho. “You know, I'm so excited to play this. It's so popular nowadays, I- Can't you stop mocking me, Chun?!”

“What? I did nothing!” replied Yoochun.

Even though Yoochun was completely denying the accusation from the younger, in the end he couldn't hold his laughter anymore. Soon after Yunho has heard Yoochun's laugh, he was immediately bursting into laughter as well. Both of them were just leaving the annoyed Junsu along with his CDs.

“Fine. Fine!!! No one loves me here,” grumbled Junsu with another pout.

“Sorry, Su. I'm joking around, of course!” Yoochun said, immediately hugging the younger as he was still trying to prevent his laugh. “Of course I love you~ even though different from how Yunho-Hyung loves Jaejoong-Hyung. YooSu is not real, sorry.”

“Hey!” shouted Yunho and Junsu at the same time.

“Who said that I want you to love me that way?” snapped Junsu.
“Why did you have to bring me and Jaejoong along?!” snapped Yunho at the same time.

But when Yunho said that he wanted to see the old members, he never meant it to see their weakness again. Yunho hated it to see on how Junsu was suffering upon the unfairness in the industry. He couldn't believe that there was a great singer that couldn't sing in front of the fans. And Yoochun... Yunho was actually lost of words. His heart was breaking apart soon after he could see the sorrow on the younger eyes, soon after the news about his father has passed away.

In those times, Yunho realized that s were still as fragile as before.
And due to the fact, Yunho really hated himself for not being able to protect and comfort them.

All Yunho could do was just nothing but wishing for them to be at least alright.

By mere moments, your heart may be hurt
I want to comfort your hurts which cannot be healed alone
If I cannot be by your side, I’ll just
Hold you shadow in my heart, hold in my heart, and

All the days, my thoughts are always with you from the bottom of my heart
I will never let go of your heart again
If you cry, I’ll go to you
I want to always stand by your side

While Yunho was still lost in his own thought, he unconsciously shed the tears.
Yunho just realized at the time, that he missed everything so much.

He missed on how they were standing on the stage together; exchanging the glances as they sang. He missed on how they were mocking on each other, either it was on or off the camera. He missed on how he always had to say 'hana, dul, set' before introducing themselves. And most of all, Yunho really missed on how they were sharing a group hug sincerely in every occasion.

Yunho really missed s, yet all he could do was just letting them go.

It’s not that Yunho couldn’t hear the certain wish from Cassiopeia.
It’s not that Yunho couldn’t feel that his heart was screaming for the others.
It’s not that Yunho couldn’t see Changmin’s longing eyes these times.

But despite everything, he still couldn’t throw the other’s dreams away for the sake of his happiness.
s were indeed too valuable for him.

If by staying at SM then Yunho could protect the other’s dreams, Yunho wouldn’t mind to get hurt at all.

If it is your wish, I’ll try every means
I want to grant your future, your eternal dreams, I wish.

His thought was suddenly interrupted though, by the unexpected incoming text. Soon after Yunho has finished reading the text and going to reply it, his phone suddenly vibrated once more. Of course, Yunho knew exactly who the person was.

Chuckling upon the thought, Yunho finally gave up and made a call.
Two rings. That was enough for Yunho to get the answer from the other.

“I'm still in the middle of typing,” said Yunho with a soft smile.

“Why can't you type faster?” demanded the other person.

“Sorry,” He said, still with the same smile. “And to answer your text... Yes, I did receive your chocolate. But I just got some though, since Changmin has finished everything but the bear.”

“What? Even after I've spent hours to make his requested cake?!” asked the other, seemingly could eat Changmin’s alive anytime.

“Jaejoong-Hyung, you're really mean towards us! You've sent Yunho-Hyung a chocolate and a cake for Changmin... But where's ours?!” interrupted another person on the line, as Yunho was able to hear the familiar squealing voice.

“Junsu! Stop joining the talk between us,” scolded Jaejoong almost right away.

A second after that, Yunho already knew that the phone was abandoned by the two persons. All Yunho could hear was just the loud voices from the other two. Yet, soon enough, Yunho noticed that someone was taking the phone by himself.

“Hey, Yunho-Hyung,” The third person from the line greeted him. “Sorry. I think we should just let them be. What do you think?”

Yunho immediately burst into the laughter, knowing exactly who the person was. “That's good for you, Chun. Remember when they were quiet just because of one silly argument? I bet that you wouldn't want to experience it again.”

“True,” Yoochun replied. “Where is Changmin, Hyung? It's so quiet there.”

“Hyung, aren't you done yet? Minhyo-Noona was making a ruck- Oh, you're on the phone.”

Changmin suddenly appeared and got into the room, just as if he has heard all the words from Yoochun. Upon the appearance of Changmin, Yunho was just smiling before changed the phone's mode into the speakerphone.

Changmin widened his eyes slightly, right after he has realized whom the voices belong to. Soon after that, his shock expression has already changed though, into the mischievous one. “Hyung! Jaejoong-Hyung,” called Changmin with excitement.

“Oh, Changmin~” hummed Yoochun to greet the youngest.

“Jun- Wait, who? Changmin?” Jaejoong asked in hurry, clearly leaving Junsu alone, “Why did you take Yunho's chocolate, Changmin?! You've got yours already!”

“Because you're so cruel, Hyung. I want the chocolate from your cafe too,” said Changmin, giving a reasonable answer for the oldest one.

“But I made it especially for my Yunho! Can't you see the bear there?” reasoned Jaejoong back.

“Well, then it is fine. You shouldn't mad at me since I left the bear,” Changmin said with easiness. “And what do you mean by especially for Yunho-Hyung? You sell those in the cafe, just in case that you're magically forgetting it.”

“But-”

“Changmin! Jaejoong-Hyung is so cruel. He didn't give me any presents, you know? None! Nothing at all!” complained Junsu with a whining voice.

“Oh Junsu-Hyung~ Hi!” Changmin said cheerfully, “Of course it's completely normal, Hyung. Why should he give you any?”

“W- Hey! Can't you at least stop bullying me in our tenth anniversary?” shouted Junsu in disbelief, as he didn't expect for Changmin to say those words.

“God! All of you should learn how to be quiet! So noisy,” grumbled Yoochun, suddenly joining the talks.

Meanwhile, Yunho just smiled warmly as he was able to hear all the shouts and between the other four. Even though ten years have been passed, they were still one big family. Maybe there were the fights and disagreements over some issues, but their hearts were still one. And Yunho was sure, even twenty years wouldn't change anything between them.

Because he believed, that their bonds were stronger than anything.

And even if those were not, Yunho has sworn to himself that he would protect it with his everything. He would always be there for his brothers, whenever they were going to need him.

Because the four were simply his real happiness.

With all my heart
Find me, and I’ll be there for you

-----xXxx FIN xxXx-----