jongin/naeun, angst/a mere mess, 1,106w

Naeun starts counting again, because that's what she always does when Jongin is late. She can't herself but do it, can't help but think about the things they could've done during that time. If he'd been on time, they would've hugged tightly and with an overflowing feeling of love, and maybe even kissed now. But instead, she's here, counting minutes. Three, four, five, six. Naeun can't stand it.

He arrives, three minutes and forty seconds late, and she doesn't want to look at the beautiful features of his face but she can't help herself but do so. Well, if she is at least obligated to look at his face, why not looking at him angry at least? He knows very well that she can't stand tardiness at all, why does he show up late? His sorry face tells her that he didn't intend to come late, but well, the most important thing is the deed, not some emotion afterwards.

"Look, Naeun-ah…" Jongin starts, but she rudely interrupts him.

"I don't want to hear it," she replies coldly.  They set off their ways in Hongdae, her black eyes searching for a restaurant nearby, while Jongin is at the back. Not that he can't catch her – he can do that if he wants to – but she knows that he doesn't because she was too angry to bear him next to her, anyways. She is kind of sorry to be this rude and cold towards him, but at the same time, she thinks that serves him right. He knows that I don't like tardiness at all. So why is he late, always?

They enter a restaurant which is full of people and pregnant with the smell of spicy ramyun and somehow find a two-seat table to sit on. They don't exchange glances at all.

"I'm sorry, Naeun-ah," he tries again. It isn't like that she doesn't know that he is sorry. Of course he is. It's Jongin, after all. He may look kind of hard and aggressive at the shell, but is ultimately very soft at the core. Besides, he knows how to treat ladies gently. So she knows he is sorry. But on the other hand, she has principles and rules she follows, and he agreed to follow them, too, and he breaks them again and again and again. It's paradox and she doesn't understand it. At the same time, it is what it is, and reality has never been much logical.

"This isn't the first time," she replies after a while. Despite the noisiness of the restaurant, she hears him sighing quietly.

"Naeun. You are pretty aware that it takes me a while to come here," he says as a matter of fact. And it's true – he needs about forty minutes to arrive. "So… you should be able to deal with me coming a few minutes late." Noticing her cold glare, he adds, "I do not want this, and I am not Woohyun-hyung who has a general problem with coming on time."

She has to chuckle. Chorong had complained to her countless times how late Woohyun always was, and even so, they were still dating. If it were Naeun, she'd broken up with him already.

"If it were you, you'd broken up with him already," Jongin says as if he can read her thoughts and laughs. "I know. But I am not Woohyun-hyung."

She has to chuckle. After all, she's happy that she has him, really. And when he's here, her anger seems so pointless.

She leans over and gives a peck on his mouth. Jongin laughs, albeit a bit perplexed, causing Naeun to smile.

It's stupid, she tells herself, and he is right. I just need to be more tolerate with matters of time, that is all. She nodded to herself reassuringly.

-

The next time, Jongin is five minutes late. Naeun feels anger rising in her chest, but decides not to say anything, for Jongin's sake, for the sake of tolerance. Jongin sweetly beams at her and Naeun thinks that this is the right decision she made.

"You seem to be more patient," Jongin remarks, "or are you just holding it in?"

She chuckles as she tiptoes and presses her lips on his cheek. "I don't know. Maybe the first, maybe the second. Maybe both. As long as it's you, I'll endure it."

He chuckles in return, his cheeks burning red.

"I love you, you know?"

"I do love you, too."

-

She tries not to notice, really. Tries so, so hard to overlook his lateness. One minute. Two. Five. Six. Half a minute. He never gets on time, actually. But the more often she holds it in, she realizes herself how it turns to patience, and how he is beaming more and more sweetly. So it's okay, she tells herself. Because of Jongin, it's okay. That's what she tells herself.

But the minutes just get longer and longer, to the point where it's not endurable anymore. And with each passing date, the sorry face gets replaced by a relaxed expression. Then the tone when he approaches her. Then the way of walking – from hurrying to casually walking, as if he is on time. And lastly, the eyes. But Naeun holds it all in. Because she loves Jongin. Because she's patient now. Patience. The word sounds so lovely next to anger, disappointment and fury. She will endure it, she tells herself with trembling hands, knuckles white from clenching her fists.

It's the tenth time now, and Naeun can't help but counting all the minutes, days, occasions of emptiness.

-

One day, he doesn't appear. Chorong does instead.

She tells him how she'd been betrayed by him all the time by some girl called Soojung, whatever, and that every time he came late, he had a date with her. So, basically, he was dating two girls at the same time.

Instead of feeling angry, Naeun just feels exhausted, empty over the minutes and seconds he could've spent with her but didn't, and spent with someone else instead.

"I am sorry," Chorong says.

"Since when do you know?" Naeun asks and realizes herself how empty her voice sounds.

"Woohyunie knew since, two or three weeks, but decided not to tell since you were so much in love with him." lieslieslieslieslies. "So he told me today, and I tell you now."

She gulps, feeling completely devoid of any emotion. "Thanks, unnie," says. "I really appreciate it."

Chorong pats Naeun's shoulder, and goes.

And here she is, being all alone, in a crowded place, counting minutes of emptiness.

She can't even say she hates Jongin, at this point.

a/n: idk this is just weird and lacking points and yeah. but hello, yes I am writing again.