As Ji Hyo lay awake, having just decided to return to Korea with Gary, Jong Kook lay awake, too, wrestling with his own thoughts. He’d had feelings for Ji Hyo a long time ago, long before he met Jennifer. But there had always been obstacles, always other people between them.

When Ji Hyo was a guest on Family Outing, he had been shy around her, as he always was. Their first task was to harvest barley, and during this time, Ji Hyo, too, had seemed shy. He had wanted to talk with her but he couldn’t, not with the other family members around. And then, when Jae Suk chose both Ji Hyo and Jong Kook as his teammates in the first game they played, Jong Kook hadn’t been able to control his smile. Jae Suk had even commented on this. He had said, “You can’t hide how happy you are, huh? So happy that you’re with Ji Hyo.” Jong Kook had blushed, terrified about having his true feelings revealed. But as the day progressed, Lee Hyori had stolen his attention. They had to walk to a pepper field together, and when they reached a deep stream that they had to cross, Jong Kook worried about his new sneakers being ruined in the water, and so Hyori offered him her sandals if he agreed to carry her. He lifted her onto his back, careful to keep his hands from touching her legs as she wrapped them around his body. As they made their way through the water, the strap of one of the sandals broke, and when he fixed the sandal for her later, she held out her foot like Cinderella, telling him that since the shoe fit, she would be his new bride. But his thoughts returned to Ji Hyo at that moment and he jokingly told Hyori that the shoe would have fit anyone’s foot. Meanwhile, Jae Suk, Ji Hyo, and the others realized that they were able to see Jong Kook and Hyori working in the pepper field from where they were sitting, and Jae Suk then convinced Ji Hyo to tease Jong Kook by having her yell out to him, to pretend to say that she loves him. Jong Kook hadn’t known this at the time, of course. He had been working diligently to pick the peppers when he had suddenly heard Jae Suk yell out from down the hill, with Ji Hyo yelling out afterward, saying something that sounded very much like Saranghae. But he hadn’t been sure. He had been so confused. Was she making a confession? Was it real? Only later, when he watched the episode, did he realize it was nothing but a joke, a funny variety stunt.

And that’s the way it always went for them. These mixed exchanges, these chances that went unrealized.

He had always felt, for years, that the lovelines affixed to him on these shows had kept him from finding love in his real life. And so, just before Running Man began, he had talked with Jae Suk, telling him that he didn’t want any part of another loveline, wanting instead to develop a different character, a commander-like character. But the show needed a loveline, and Gary was then chosen. Had Jong Kook known that it would be Ji Hyo as the loveline partner, he wouldn’t have said what he did to Jae Suk. But he hadn’t known. Ji Hyo didn’t even become a fixed member until a few episodes in. And so he had no choice but to watch Gary and Ji Hyo’s relationship develop as the Monday Couple, knowing that if he ever made a move on Ji Hyo, not only would the Monday Couple fans be upset, but that Gary would be, too. He knew Gary’s true feelings for Ji Hyo. He and Jae Suk were the only ones who knew.

And so he tried to put away his feelings, to store them in some hidden place, like winter clothes in an old trunk. But all trunks are eventually opened, and the truth always comes out. His truth came out during that overnight Running Man filming, when they were lying on the floor together while the other cast members were standing nearby, fighting with each other. He didn’t know what came over him. It was not in his nature to make the first move. But he did. He had reached up to hold her hand, to gently interlace his fingers with hers and feel her touch. That brief moment together… it was like they were in the eye of the storm, only the two of them quiet and still, surrounded by chaos. But it was a fleeting moment. Ji Hyo hadn’t expressed any interest back, not even looking at him in that moment. And so he decided then to move on, to stop waiting for signs of her heart.

As he lay in bed thinking about this, he realized that in choosing to do nothing now, in choosing to just wait and let fate decide, that he was making the same mistakes he had made so long ago. He needed to be a man of action, to let his true feelings be known and not be fearful of the consequences.

But what were his true feelings? Did he still feel the same way about Ji Hyo now as he did then? He wished that she was not engaged to Gary and that he had more time to think about this. It was so soon after Jennifer’s death and he would have liked a relationship with Ji Hy