Gary and Ji Hyo stood beside the bed in the guestroom that night. Kaimana and Sun Marie were asleep. The house was quiet. Neither Gary nor Ji Hyo spoke for a moment. It was an uncomfortable situation.

Ji Hyo broke the silence. “Let’s just get it all out, Gary-ah,” she said. “Let’s just get all our feelings out so we know where we stand.”

Gary didn’t need time to think. “I love you, Ji Hyo-yah,” he said. “My feelings for you haven’t changed. You read my song. I’ll always love you. In this life and the next. But what you did… kissing him?” He looked up at her with his sad eyes. “I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m jealous. But more than anything, I’m confused.” He looked down again, and in a low voice, he said, “We’re getting married, Ji Hyo-yah. I thought you loved me.”

Ji Hyo sighed. “My feelings for you haven’t changed either. I still love you, Gary-ah. But… my feelings for Jong Kook have changed.” She knew that she was hurting him, but she needed to be honest with him. He deserved the truth. “It’s like, something has awoken inside of me. Maybe these feelings have always been there. I don’t know. That’s why I need to be here. I need to figure out why I’m feeling the way I am.”

“How can you love two people at the same time?” Gary asked.

“Yah, I didn’t say I loved him. I said that I don’t know how I feel about him, but that I feel… something.”

More awkward silence followed. Neither knew what to say to each other. Both of them stared at the bed. Gary wondered if she still wanted him to sleep beside her. He wanted to ask her but couldn’t find the right words. But part of him didn’t want to ask. He was tired of always being nice. The man inside him wanted to just take her, throw her on the bed, and make love to her. Maybe she would resist at first, but when their bodies met, she would remember how much she had once craved their intimacy. They had always been good lovers. They had always pleased each other. He looked at her then, trying to see a sign in her face that she wanted him, but there was nothing.

“I’m going to go brush my teeth, Gary-ah,” she said, quietly opening the door. 

Gary stood there for a moment and then turned to run after her, stopping her in the hallway. He held her arm and looked her up and down, her wrinkled white t-shirt, her mong face… 

The way Gary held her arms to stop her reminded her of how Jong Kook had held her after she had kissed him. She had never felt torn between two men before. “Yah, Gary-ah! What are you doing?”

He wanted to say so much. He wanted to beg her to leave this place with him right now, to leave and go back to their life in Korea, the way things used to be. They had been so happy. Their life had been like a dream. But now, it felt like that was all it was… a dream they had both just woken from, leaving them confused and trying to make sense of it. But their life together hadn’t been a dream, Gary thought. It was real. He looked down at her hand. She was still wearing the ring.

Ji Hyo saw him looking down at the ring and she, too, looked at it now, remembering the moment he had proposed. Her eyes began to sting with tears, but she held her emotions back and continued walking down the hall toward the bathroom, looking behind her as she did and seeing Gary still standing there.

When the bathroom door closed behind her, Gary walked back into the bedroom, grabbed a pillow from the bed and a spare blanket from the closet, and lay on the floor. He had wanted to sleep next to her but he wouldn’t be able to handle the awkwardness if she rejected him.

For the rest of the night, as he lay on that hard floor while Ji Hyo slept in the bed, he thought only of Jong Kook. He had loved him like a brother once. Jong Kook was his hyung and Gary had respected him, had looked up to him. But no more. He felt sick just being in his house. But he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t leave Ji Hyo there. He wouldn’t give her up that easily.

Gary didn’t sleep at all. His anger kept him awake.

Jong Kook lowered the lap tray and rested his elbows on it, his face in his hands. The flight attendant asked if he wanted a pillow. He shook his head and asked her for a drink instead. He still hadn’t eaten and he knew the drink wouldn’t sit well in his stomach, but he didn’t care. His head was spinning from the conversation he’d had with the ahjumma. He just wanted to forget it. She was just a crazy old woman, he thought. Just get it out of your mind.

But he couldn’t. He kept hearing her words. For someone not in love… they will find it. For someone already in love… they will lose it.

He had given that flower to Jennifer that first day, and they had