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“I’m scared what if he doesn’t like me back? What will happen to us?”

You blurted out of frustration, your friend keeps forcing you to confess your love to your one and only best friend Woo Kevin. Woo Kevin, is a friend of yours since you two were in diaper so you know him more than anyone else and that’s been the reason why you find yourself loving him secretly. At first, you thought that it was just an affection between bestfriends, but eventually you find yourself getting jealous whenever he was with a girl who isn’t you, when he hangs out with another girl. You were afraid, that maybe when you tell him your feelings everything will turn out not well, from being friends you two might end up being strangers and of course you don’t want it to happen so you keep it inside of you, even though it hurts a lot.

“Like duh? You wouldn’t know if you didn’t try.”

She had a point, you thought to yourself. But you don’t want to risk your friendship, Kevin is someone who you can’t live without, or at least you thought. He’d been with you ever since, you grown up with him on your side. You get to used having him on your side, and you’re afraid to lose him just because of your stupid feelings.
 

“Nah~ I will think first.”

“Tss, like I’ve heard that for how many times.”
 

She said rolling her eyes. You can’t blame her, you said that you will confess for how many times but you end up being coward, end up keeping it inside of you. She even thought that if you don’t confess, she will do it for you, and of course you stop her. Confessing isn’t a normal practices for girls; in this generation, boys are supposed to be the one making the first move. Even though you always think that maybe he also had this feelings for you since you are also always on his side, but those thought immediately fade away when you saw him talking to Jiyeon, the school’s princess. She is a cheerleader; she’s beautiful, kind, sweet, and smart. How can you compare yourself to her? By just looking at her face, you can tell that she will be the winner.
 

“I told you, it’s not that easy—“
 

You were about to continue your sentence when Kevin appeared in front of both of you.
 

“Hey!”

He said waving his hand, smiling. You smiled back, can he be more handsome? You stared at his angelic face, his nose, his eyes and lips, can those be more perfect? You started to doze off when Kevin ruffled your hair.
 

“Someone is spacing out, isn’t she?”

You blushed then looked away, you heard him chuckled. His voice was music to your ears, one of the reasons why you fall for him.
 

“So, what are you two doing here?”
 

He asked looking at you and your friend, your friend just smirked then shrugged when you sent her a death glare. You sighed as you know your friend got your message, you only smiled.

“Whoa~ Whoa~ what was that? What’s going on?”

He asked both of you, you smiled. How can you tell him that you both were talking about confessing your feelings to him?
 

“Nevermind, it’s none of your business.”
 

You countered sticking your tongue out; he laughed then ruffled your hair. Again, he’s playing with you. He always kids you, he never see you as a girl, as a lady.
 

“Aish, don’t do that!”
 

You whined but then he ignores you continuing ruffling your hair. You were pissed.
 

“Ya! Kevin-ssi! Stop! Could you? Aish…”

You said whining. So childish, you thought to yourself. Your friend cleared .
 

“I better off, take care love birds.”
 

She said winking that made you blushed hard. Aish, when I see you I swear I’m going to punch you hard. You thought to yourself while glaring at her, she smirked then waved goodbye.
 

“So, why are you here?”

You said walking away from him, he slumped himself at your couch.
 

“Why? Is it bad now to visit my best friend buddy?”

Yeah right, I was just his best friend, nothing else, nothing special and that hurts the most. He means something to me, a very special one, but for him I’m just his best friend, just a friend. I took a glass of orange juice then offered it to him which he quickly accepts.
 

“So…”
 

He grabs my wrist pulling me next to him making me sits next to him, my heart start to beats faster just like how it beats whenever I’m near him or whenever he smiles. There’s no way not to fall in love with him, he’s one of those right person, one of those men who girls keep wishing for, those girls who keep dreaming of. I’m lucky that he’s my best friend but can we go to another level? Definitely not, the feeling is one sided.

“I want to tell you something…”

“Oh~ Okay, spill it.”
 

He took a deep breath.
 

“I really need your help.”
 

You tilted your head; you noticed that there’s a glint of pink in his cheeks when you did that but you shrugged it off.
 

“What can I help you then?”
 

“So… y-yeah… I was planning to confess to this girl but I don’t know what she likes I mean, what kind of confession she likes…”
 

He blurted out that broke your heart. He’s confessing to a girl? Maybe to Jiyeon. Why did I didn’t noticed that he’s starting to like her? I know I kinda feel suspicious about the two of them, but I don’t know that what I suspected is true. Am I that too blind? Am I that numb not to feel it? I froze, I was surprised, and who doesn’t? Knowing that the guy you love was just about to confess to a girl who is obviously not you and here he is asking for you help. Can my life be more miserable? 
 

“A-hh… u-uhmm… to be specific, what help do you want from me?”

You stated, he smiled.
 

“Well, I just want to ask you what kind of confession you were expecting that a boy will do for you.”
 

You gulped. Why does it have to depend on me? Does he know how hurt am I now? Does he have a clue that I’m turning to pieces now? Well, practically he didn’t.
 

“M-me? I don’t expect too much but if that boy is the one I like, I’ll accept him no matter what kind of confession he will offered to me. Nothing is important to me more than his presence, just him by my side, that’s enough.”

You said honestly, dreaming about you and him. You snapped yourself back to reality.

“Is that it? I actually want it to be something special but I think your suggestion isn’t bad at all.”

You smiled weakly, a fake one. How can you smile in this kind of situation?
 

“Do you think she will accept me?”

You looked at him then nodded.
 

“I think so…”
 

Tears are approaching. Please don’t, don’t cry in front of him, you chanted in your head.
 

“Y-you’re one of the right persons that every girl is wishing for, it’s her loss if she rejected you.”

You answered, he smiled. Please, don’t show me that you’re happy; it hurts the hell out of me.
 

“Okay then, I now had the confidence to confess. Will you be there?”
 

“Huh?”
 

“When I confess to her, will you be there?”
 

He asked looking straight to your eyes.
 

“Uhh… I think it’s not a good idea, it’s better to leave you both alone.”
 

“You must come; I need you to be there. I can’t do that if you weren’t there.”
 

“Uhm… Kevin, listen okay, I don’t want to ruin your day with her, and so I wouldn’t come.”
 

“You should. I want you to congratulate me right away.”
 

“Okay, okay… I will be there; can you just leave for now? I’m sleepy…”
 

He smiled widely then stood up hugging you tight. No, please, leave me alone, I don’t want to break down in front of you. Don’t be like this, how can I start moving on if you were like this? How can I be happy for you if you were acting like this?
 

“Thank you ______-ah, you gave me faith. Tomorrow, at the back of science building, 6 pm. You better be there, arasso?”
 

You nodded then he left. You fell on the floor. Now, I should start forgetting everything about you, from the day we became friends. You cupped your face, crying. You cried your feelings out, there’s no way that he will ever likes you back, and you were just his best friend, just a friend. It’s a good thing that he said this to you before you decided to confess at least, you now know the answer. You drag yourself to your room, slumping in your bed. Glancing at the side table, you throw the frame at the wall. A frame that consist of collage picture of you and Kevin together, a gift that Kevin sends to you on your 18th birthday, everything is a blur until you fell asleep.
 

“WHAT?”
 

You nodded lazily as you saw the reaction of your friend when you tell her what happen yesterday.
 

“So, are you going to come?”
 

You shook your head.
 

“I’m not a fool; I don’t want to torture myself. I decided; I better avoid him, it’s for my own good; at least I will forget him.”
 

You said before burying your face at your desk, you didn’t pay attention to your classes as you mind was occupied by Kevin confessing to a girl, with that thought you find yourself crying.
 

“He will never love me back, not even in my dream.”
 

You said then went home; you don’t have the guts to study. You enter the house with a loud thug, I will be okay, and soon, I will be okay. You went straight to your room and locked yourself; this is the best idea that came up on your mind. Let it all out, as soon as you let it out, you will feel relieved, you guess. You take a nap and after an hour and so, you glance at your watch, telling you it was quarter past six. For sure, he was now with his girl. He already had his confession, you cried again for the nth time of the day. You cried and cry, crying your heart out. It’s already eight when you finally received a message from Kevin asking you why you didn’t showed up. Not minding to reply, you sent him to your block list. It’s better not to keep in touch with him; it was your first step to avoid him. Later that night, you spent the night thinking about how happy he was now, how he finally had his girl. You went to school a little late so you spent the first class in the detention room. You haven’t seen Kevin around and that’s good news, you just sit in there waiting.
 

“Hey! Why you didn’t attend the first class.”
 

“Detention.”
 

You answered lazily as you and your friend sat beneath the tree. You both are eating your lunch when you saw Kevin walking towards with you both; you quickly packed all your things then stood up.

“Hey, where ar—“
 

“I better off, there’s something important I really need to do. Bye, see you later!”
 

You said then run away, you heard Kevin calling your name but you ignore him. Sorry Kevin, but this is the best for the two of us. This became a habit, you ignoring him at school, he tried to talk to you but you managed to give an excuse then left him hanging, you don’t want to talk to him, but he keeps on insisting. You managed to hide yourself every time you see him around, you didn’t let him enter your house giving an excuse that you were busy, you never open the door for him. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, it’s been couple of months since you started avoiding him but in your luck, today isn’t on your side as he grabs your wrist pinning you in the wall.
 

“What the ___-ah!”

He started.

“Why the hell are you avoiding me?”
 

He said almost shouting, sadness filling his eyes. You must be happy, at least now you had a girlfriend.
 

“I’m not avoiding you, I’m just—“
 

“Busy? it ____, you didn’t even talk to me for months and now you were giving me that ing lame excuses again? What the hell is wrong with you?”
 

You cried, his eyes softened seeing you crying. His grip loosened until you felt your hand fell into your side.
 

“What is wrong with me? It’s been you Kevin, it’s you…”
 

You stated looking at him, you look terrible and you don’t mind it. 
 

“It’s you, you are my problem.”
 

He stared at you, shocked.
 

“W-what? Wh-why me?”
 

You cried.
 

“I… I love you Kevin… I ing love you to the point that I set you free just to make you happy. I chose to give up when you said you will confess to the girl you love, I was hurt, I’m terribly hurt. I don’t want to face you, I will just broke down and—“
 

You were cut off by Kevin who aggressively claimed your lips. You stiffened, shock at his action. He didn’t stop kissing you even though you didn’t kiss him back; he claimed your lips as if it was his. He grabs you by the waist pulling you closer then breathed inside your lips that sent shivers to your spine.
 

“I… I love you ____-ah!”
 

You widened your eyes.
 

“L-liar… you love someone else.”
 

You said when he finally parted his lips to yours, letting you answer his not a question I love you.
 

“I do love you; you’re an idiot not to know it.”

He countered staring to your eyes, which is an inch an inch away from his. Tears keep flowing, not minding the situation you were in; he cupped your face then wiped your tears away.
 

“The girl I was about to confess with was you, but I didn’t confess to her since she ditch me by not showing up at the science building.”
 

“W-what? I-is that true?”
 

He nodded smiling.
 

“I waited for her for two hours, I texted her but she didn’t reply, I tried to call her but she’s out of coverage.”
 

He continued.
 

“I sent you to block list.”
 

“WHAT? Why did you do that? Aish, that’s why I can’t contact you, I even texted you my feelings since you weren’t answering my calls but you didn’t reply. I assumed that you didn’t feel the same way so you started avoiding… me… I regret confessing to you at text you know, you made me think that you didn’t love me. I was trying to talk to you so that we can bring back our friendship but—“
 

“Cut it.”
 

He smiled.
 

“You love me right? So, will you be my girlfriend?”
 

You froze, is this really happening?
 

“Yah! Aren’t you answering or do you want me to the answer on your lips?”
 

He said grinning.
 

“Idiot, of course I do. I became miserable when you told me that you are going to confess.”
 

“So, that’s a yes?”
 

“Can you be more idiot?”

“I mean, say the magic word.”
 

“Magic word?”
 

He nods smiling, you sighed.
 

“I love you too.”
 

With that, he pulled you closer then captured your lips, but this time he kissed you passionately which you happily returned.

 

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