“Its two a.m. Feeling like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me.”

Myungsoo woke up in the middle of the night. Sweat trickling down his forehead. He’s having a nightmare. He sighed and got up from the bed.

Myungsoo slowly walked to the bathroom and the tap. He washed his face and looked up to the mirror.

He studied himself thoroughly.

“Is it my entire fault? Or is it because I’m not perfect enough until Sungyeol couldn’t bring himself to love me?” Myungsoo thought to himself.

He brushed his thoughts away and climbed back on the bed.

His thought wandered back to this morning when Sungyeol called him.

He should’ve made an effort too. He wanted to say things more than that but he just can’t.

He can feel Sungyeol is trying hard to make him open his heart for Sungyeol one more time.

Myungsoo remembered the moment when Sungyeol said he’s sorry.

He wanted to say back that he’s sorry too but of course he did not.

Myungsoo simply said it’s okay and hanged up.

Is he being too cruel to Sungyeol? No, that’s not so cruel, right?

A part of him wants to get back to Sungyeol’s side so badly. He wants to feel Sungyeol’s soft hands brushed against his skin one more time. He wants Sungyeol’s arms around him once more.

But a part of him wants to stay away from Sungyeol. It’s his entire fault that they’re breaking up right now. Sungyeol is always some place far away when Myungsoo is talking. He just wants Sungyeol to pay attention to him. Just for once, it’ll be fine.

Myungsoo sighed and pulled his blankets up. He closed his eyes, trying to sleep and forget about all the things that are happening in his life at this moment.

But it’s not easy. It’ll never be easy.