Henry couldn’t sleep. No matter how many times he had stared at the ceiling, he couldn’t drift to dreamland. Tired from a quick session of sobbing he hid from Daniel, his mind couldn’t relax at all. All those opposing factors made it impossible for him to concentrate on anything else. Actually, that might have been the problem all along – too many scrambled thoughts made his brain one delicious egg. And he had no bread to dip into the soft yolk. Most importantly, he ruined their first night together after weeks of abstinence. Henry brought Daniel closer to his chest and nuzzled his head. He then placed a soft kiss on top of his hair before he began to arrange it out of lack of occupation. Just standing there, strapped to the bed, made it impossible for him not to shake his leg from time to time or do anything that could prevent numbness. He refrained from all that because he was afraid not to wake up the sleeping beauty. Daniel silently breathed over his exposed chest. No matter how much the boy succeeded in teasing the musician, it was that one single call which made him forget about everything.

Why was he so easily influenced by exterior factors? It was supposed to be a gorgeous evening with only the two of them and something more if luck was on their side. Unfortunately, after months of shared showers and beds, there wasn’t a single time when they could just enjoy each other’s presence. Sure, there were always the touches, but truthfully, it pained Henry. He easily gave himself to someone that stabbed his heart, chewed on it and then spit it in his face. Because of that, he was incapable of doing anything more with the blond and he sometimes worried that might damage their relationship for good. Daniel sacrificed his mouth a couple of times, but Henry couldn’t do the same. He hated himself for that selfish act and wished the blond would stop satisfying him and just yell that he should do the same, not stay silent, nod and then cuddle at this chest. At least, he hadn’t done so after the bath.

They went straight to sleep; well, Henry tried to. He was happy to see his lover didn’t have that problem. His little kitty was safe and sound around his embrace and there was nothing and nobody that could take him away from Henry. After all, even if they faded with time and disappeared at the mercy of age, their souls remained just as young and carried all those fruitful memories in their next life. So Henry could stay and puzzle over his inability for weeks, the answer would be the same: he was too weak, too sensitive and too prone to bring the past in their present to move on. And that hurt more than anything else, more than the fact that he couldn’t sleep and more than Daniel’s eyes which slowly opened.

“Are you,” Henry almost didn’t recognize his voice “still awake?”

He could very well not say a thing and fake his disposition, but it was hard lying when the one who asked was staring straight at his orbs. Henry gently removed a couple of strands from Daniel’s face which escaped his fingers before.

“Yeah,” he muttered with a hint of anger in his tone. Daniel lifted his body, enough to lean it against his elbows and give Henry a kiss over his forehead, then both cheeks and end with a long one over his mouth.

“Shhh,” he whispered as he kissed the other again “Everything will be alright.”

“What if it isn’t?” Henry blurted out and forced his lover’s mind to completely focus on Henry’s philosophic excuse.

“It will,” Daniel rested his arms over Henry’s chest with his chin against his hands “it always does. No matter how hard things get, there’s always that light at the end of the tunnel.”

“But tunnels these days are lit already,” Henry frowned and couldn’t believe himself when he shoved Daniel off him. He got up and stared at the walls with a wave of panic making a cozy space inside him.

“With artificial light, yes they are.”

“What’s the difference?”

Daniel came closer to the other, wrapped his arms from behind and kissed his cheek.

“It means that it’s fake, it doesn’t last long. But when will the sun burn its fuel? I’m pretty sure we’ll be petrol by then.” Henry stifled a laughter and caressed his lover’s fingers.

“Petrol huh... so we’ll be gas... we’ll be car gas.”

“Yah!” Daniel smacked him over the side and chuckled. “Don’t put it that way, it sounds weird.”

“Well,” Henry turned around and smiled “we’re weird. Isn’t that good enough?”

Daniel nodded and gave him thumbs up. Despite the darkness, Henry had seen everything. He couldn’t believe how shadows enhanced Daniel’s best features instead of blurring them.

“Just sleep,” he brushed his hand over Henry’s back and rested his head after over his shoulder “No matter what, it will be okay. Just move on.”

Henry felt at peace. It was like he had watched the ocean during the sunset, swaying elegantly under a soft breeze. There was absolutely nothing to worry about, not even when the waves crashed against the land or took him by surprise with a little toe smooch.

Resting again in bed, again with Daniel by his side, again facing the ceiling, Henry closed his eyes and let that same sensation drive him down the river of pink clouds and unicorns. Heck, anything was better than populating his brain with useless ideas.

Daniel on the other hand found the blanket more worthy of his attention than sleep. He let his ear pick every sound Henry made, more specifically the way his chest rose and lowered with each oxygen intake. He bit his lips when Henry’s heart echoed against his skin.

Daniel couldn’t sleep.

---

None of them liked hospitals, but then again, who does?

Daniel didn’t because he visited that particular one too much in the last two or so years. Henry didn’t because he was forced to visit it too often due to other affairs not so close to his interests. Both refrained from holding hands or doing anything that could earn them a public lecture. They hurried on the bleached corridors and both felt dizzy from the agitation. Daniel’s back hit the wall when one doctor rushed by them. Henry questioned his condition with his eyes. Daniel merely waved his hand, smiled and nodded his head out of habit, gradually catching up with the other. He couldn’t guess where they were heading and why, but mysteries were always welcomed.

Henry stopped in front of a door, inhaled deeply and when he was about to open it, he stopped midway and retracted his hand. Daniel patted his back and, again, soothingly brushed his hand against it.

“Look,” Henry turned around to face the blond “let’s... just end this quickly, okay? I can go alone...”

“But...”

Henry waved his hand. Daniel closed his mouth and wanted to say so much more, but he gave up in an instant. He faced Henry’s back once more and as the violinist built some confidence, the door suddenly opened from the other side.

Henry froze at first.

He didn’t want to meet him again, not yet.

He wasn’t ready.

A nurse excused herself and made way between the two. Out of curiosity, the blond peeked inside and a grin instantly appeared on his face. Henry didn’t see when he went ahead without another word and didn’t see that Daniel practically beamed of joy.

“Hey chipmunk!” but he definitely heard that coming from the one in the bed.

“Hey moose!” and Daniel’s reply.

Henry stood at the doorframe, violently shaking of rage. Donghae gave him an innocent look.

“Oh, hi Henry.”

Stupid inside joke -__- my second story here on AFF was with Niel and Donghae, but it was so stupid, I had to delete it after 2 chapters because I could never finish it. Donghae compared Niel with a chipmunk there and Niel snapped back with moose, so... yeah.