http://youtu.be/krZw1eui0to?t=42m42s

                Ever had that feeling wherein everything felt so right, but time says otherwise? Yup, I’ve been there.

                Whenever I see the daylight, and his silhouette, while he’s standing in front of the school grounds, it looks like a fan fiction in my mind just got real.

                As if he knew I was staring at him, he would turn around, blind me with his precious smile, and would leave his friends just to greet me properly. Being the and lovesick person that I am, would greet him back the same way he did, if not more. He reaches out to help me with my things, and he would me to my room.

                Yes, we’re not classmates. Heck, we’re not even batch mates. But somehow, it doesn’t matter to me. All I know is that this has become a usual thing for months now.

                He’s not the only one doing it to me. I do carry a lot of stuff. But with him, it was always special.

                I do my usual deeds as a diligent person, and he does his. We’re both serious in things we do, and that’s something we are proud of. We also respect each other’s space. I mean we should because we are grown-ups now. A lot of people are watching us.

                Mutual understanding, yeah? Hm, maybe…

                One time I was about to go home around evening from school because me and my friends have to finish something urgent. If we don’t, the principal would kill us.

                I went the opposite direction of my friends, since they would be drinking and celebrating for a job well done on a Friday night.

                As I did so, my body went rigid at the sight of him going my direction too. I never expected to see him this late. I know that he would be with his friends today. They’ve been talking about it the whole day.

               He said hello. Though a bit nervous, I still replied “Why, uhm… Hello there. I guess you’ve been out for long with your friends today, huh?”

               “Uhm, yeah. Basketball got us carried away, again.”

               He asked me if my route was the same with his, and I said yes. He didn’t hesitate to accompany me on the way home, even when I neglected his offer. I felt like I’m all ready shooting up fireworks because of the thrill and excitement he’s giving me.

               We went in the bus, and he let me sat by the windows, as if he knows my favorite place in the vehicle. But there it is again: that pang of guilt inside of me, because I know that this is all wrong. So I inquired.

               “Why are you being so nice to me? Did I do something to get your attention or something?”

               “Well, for starters, you do get my attention- Actually, everyone’s attention. And you are nice. You’re nice to talk to, or just to be around with, even if we don’t talk. You’re different, kind-different. At least you’re not like one of them who go ballistic once they’re too attached to students.”

               As we near his stop first, he finished his words. “You’re a cool teacher to be with, ma’am. I hope you continue to be just you. We appreciate your calm presence with us.”

               “Oh. Okay. Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.”

               “This is my stop. Bye, miss. Get home safely, and see you next week.”

               His words sunk deeply, that I just waved back at him, without uttering something back.

               As he left, the bus started to move again. But my gaze shifted toward his direction as he began to move further and further away from my sight.

               When I knew that the time is not by my side, everything felt so fake and untrue to me. His smile, the way he gently takes my stuff and visual aids and walks me to the staff room, his “How are you?”s and “Hope you’re having a great day”. Most especially the way he looks at me during classes. I thought those were real. I thought I may be not hallucinating.

               I guess the feeling was wrong to begin with after all.