Yewon calls Lu Han as soon as Wufan leaves her dorm building. Agitated, she sinks into her sofa bed and swipes at the picture frame on the side table. It topples to the ground pathetically and she kicks it aside.

“Roo? I need you.”

“I’m in the middle of an art appreciation class so please rate this emergency on a scale of 1 to 10.”

“Wufan was here.”

“Oh. Well. My class ends at five. Mrs. Lee’s?”

Mrs. Lee’s convenience store is located by the south gate of the university, a block away from the park right in front of Yewon’s dorm building. It’s tucked away in a blind corner and into a cul de sac, best for emotional/mental breakdowns and heart to heart discussions. Yewon has no doubt that the old Mrs. Lee has had her fair share of university gossip just by sitting on her till all day long. Recently, it’s been converted to a 24-hour business. Her grandson, Changmin, who just got out of the army, takes the night and graveyard shift.

It’s after five when she gets there. A group of blondes— she recognizes Nichkhun but not the other two— occupy the round table by the wall. Inside, Mrs. Lee sits and reads her gossip magazine as usual. Yewon grabs a hot coffee and a bottle of watermelon juice and pays for them. She waits for Lu Han outside.

“So what happens now?” Nichkhun asks. Yewon looks away but slightly leans in closer. She only knows Nichkhun from Khunfections. He’s her senior by two years, and during the days she was hung up after breaking it off with Wufan, Nichkhun became the beacon of her sanity. She aggressively crushed over him like many other girls, but unlike many other girls, she wasn’t too heartbroken when he announced he was taken.

“Wrong question,” the other blonde guy asks. He looks familiar, but Yewon can’t place where she’s met him before. Catharsis, perhaps? He definitely looks like someone who did performances in the club. The girl too, with her platinum blonde hair with pink and seagreen streaks.

A phone buzzes on the table. Yewon casually flips her ponytail off her shoulder. The phone is pink, therefore not Nichkhun’s, even when he picks it up and reads the message. “Kazuki wants to talk to you tomorrow.”

“You should go,” says the other blonde. “Talk to him.”

The girl buries her face in her arms, mutters something, and lets out a shaky breath. “Fine,” she says, loud enough for her companions to hear. “Do I really have to?”

“Yes, you have to.”

“What do I say?”

“The truth,” Nichkhun says, typing away on her phone. “Even if it sounds unbelievable.”

“The truth makes me sound like an evil person.”

The other two laugh. “But you are,” Nichkhun says. “Do you regret it though?”

The girl shakes her head. If only Yewon could see her face. For the whole of the conversation, the girl spoke with a blunted affect. “For a moment, even if it wasn’t real, it felt real.”

“It’s not like anything’s changed,” the other guy says. “It’s not like we’re going to start being different. It’s not like it’s even going to keep up. It’s just going to be one of those things that happened. That’s all it is.”

The picture they paint isn’t pretty, but something inside Yewon snaps and falls apart at the thought of finding something, anything to dull the numbing ache inside her chest. Falling in love with Wufan, truly and deeply loving him, had taken too much of her formative years, she couldn’t imagine how else she could live without his presence. Wufan was her first everything, and in her mind, Wufan would have been her last everything as well.

Lu Han arrives, wrapped warmly and all scarves, and sits next to her. “He sent me a text. He was upset I didn’t tell him you got kicked out of your apartment.”

“I didn’t get kicked out!” Yewon’s attention is still on the other table and Lu Han rolls his eyes.

“I know. That’s what I said.” In a low voice, he adds, “What are you doing?”

Yewon shushes him and hands him his juice. She couldn’t make out what the other group is saying anymore, and she decides to give up upon Lu Han’s disapproving stare.

Her head falls on his shoulder and he loops his arm around hers. In high school, anytime anyone (Yewon included) would try to touch Lu Han, he would flinch and stay as far away as possible. Wufan had to act as a physical barrier against Lu Han’s fangirls and fanboys. It still applies, even until this day. It wasn’t until a severe emotional meltdown after her breakup with Wufan that Lu Han volunteered any form of physical contact.  “Hi, Roo. How was class?”

“Do you really want to hear me talk about Modern Chinese Art?” Last time she asked, Lu Han talked about Art and Literature, from Ancient to Modern and Post-modern and everything else in between for the whole day. She asked him to distract her from murderous thoughts, and that had been his solution. Bore her to death.

“I might if you let me talk about this morning’s Cryptography class.” Lu Han never asks about her classes. He automatically tunes out and steers her attention towards everything else but. They live a with a mutual understanding that there are just some things better left unsaid between them.

“What happened with Wufan today?”

The trio in the other table collects their trash and leaves. Nichkhun gives the girl a big bear hug before leaving her with the other blonde. The three of them stand together for a moment, laugh, then go their separate ways. Yewon finally catches a glimpse of the girl’s face. A DJ from Catharsis, someone from the Music department, someone she might have seen elsewhere, a familiar face without a name.

“He just showed up. I knew he would because he called me as soon as his flight landed and all. I miss him so much, Roo.  I hate that he’s still so...so him. He goes telling me off about locking my door, helping me clean up, remembering that old shirt from so long ago. It actually still really hurts. It’s like nothing’s changed when everything’s changed. I just didn’t think I’d want to jump him as soon as I saw him.”

“One, I really didn’t need to hear that last bit. And let me remind you. You broke up with him, remember? You’re the one who said it’s better this way. Wufan respected your decision and he let you go. He would’ve fought for you as much as he fought with you.”

“Don’t take his side!”

“I’m not taking sides. He’s trying very hard to keep things normal. Like nothing’s changed.” Lu Han continues in a softer tone, “He was miserable without you, you were miserable without him, you were miserable together, and that equates to me being the most miserable of all. That’s why we all decided to be friends again. Because a legal custody battle over me just isn’t worth it.”

Yewon elbows his ribs. “I can’t afford it anyway.”

“Exactly. That’s why instead of joint custody, we made the decision to try this all over again. Clearly, you can’t really be apart. You just can’t,” he slows down to choose his words carefully, “Be romantically involved anymore.”

In the end, Yewon accepted the asymptotic relationship between her and Wufan. As close as close can get, but never together. “I still love him.”

“And he loves you. Wufan doesn’t have anyone else but you and me. Especially now he’s passed the threshold of having friends that are friends. He has prospective business partners,  clients, and everyone else will always end up never crossing that line. But we were friends with him before  we realized what his being an heir means. He’s not going to let you go. Just let him help you. He really wants to help you, Yezi. Financially—”

Yewon draws back her arm and straightens up. “I don’t want to talk about it, Lu Han. We broke up because of this. I don’t want us to lose what’s left of our friendship because of it.”

Lu Han shakes his head. “You can’t always just hold it in all of the time. I’ve told you before, and I’ll say it again. The one thing Wufan couldn’t accept was that you never let him into your real problems.” His tone says more than what its supposed to mean.

She groans into her palms. “I hate feelings. This is why I’m a Math major, dammit. A is A, B is B. There are rules to these kinds of things. Everything makes sense, and everything falls into place. The world is filled with computable patterns and formulas, and there is no room for misunderstanding.”

Lu Han chuckles to himself and leans back to enjoy his watermelon juice. “Math also strikes fear into the heart of many. Kinda like you when you’re being like this.” It earns him a glare, but he only smiles in return. “What’s really bothering you?”

“He talked about another girl,” she mutters, eyes rooted to the plastic table. “To my face.”

Lu Han laughs. “Points for Mr. Sensitivity Wu Yifan.”

“I wanted to smash his face with my foot.”

“You’re gonna be okay.”

“I am having a mental breakdown!” Yewon pushes the table away from her, but all she gets is a squeak. “What?” She checks the feet. “It’s bolted. Since when were the tables bolted down?”

They look up just in time for Changmin to pass by, eyeing them curiously, judgingly.

Lu Han shares his insight. “Since the last time someone had a mental breakdown, I guess.”

“You know.” Yewon leans back and sighs. “The group in the other table was talking about this thing. I guess the girl’s heartbroken and so this other friend—”

“Yewon, no. Don’t even think about it.”

For this semester’s first Tutor’s Night Out, Joonmyun takes them to a fancy restaurant somewhere in business district of the city. Joonmyun always handles Tutor’s Night Out. Free food is one perk Yewon is unwilling to part with.

She makes it a point not to miss group hangouts like this. Her inner social circle comprised of Wufan and Lu Han, and the extended circle included Wufan and Lu Han’s closest friends which accounted to very few. Hanging out with the tutors like this is one way she could keep her sanity together. Especially when it came to insufferable students and demanding workload. Other people simply wouldn’t understand.

Olivia is the new tutor in their group. Joonmyun’s new recruit. They’re both from IT. When Joonmyun introduced her earlier tonight, Olivia merely flicked her brows and said hi.

“So hardcore,” Yewon mutters to Sara who sat next to her in the booth. Unlike herself and Sara who wore casual dresses tonight, Olivia showed up in shorts and a hoodie.

“Here’s the student assignments for the semester.” Ok Taecyeon remains their group leader. He’s a graduate student in International Relations with a volunteering record Joonmyun is determined to break.

“Who’d you get?” Sara asks as soon as the folders are handed out. Sara joined the group in her second year. Due to a rumor involving a certain Kris Wu, Yewon didn’t speak to Sara for a whole month after she joined. It was only after Yewon caught Sara hanging out at the dance studios and taking secret photos of someone not Kris Wu did they really bond.

Yewon flips through her file, skipping names and photos and checking the year levels and the subjects first. Yewon never gets a generalized group. It’s always math repeaters, math-challenged, and math-resistants. “First years, as always. A couple of seconds and thirds. Algebra, Trig, Geom, Calc, nothing new.” She peeks at Sara’s files. “Any cuties?”

“Here’s a cutie.” Taecyeon shows them a picture of one of his students. Park Chanyeol, biology. “Sara, do you want him?”

“He’s cute,” Yewon agrees. “Is he taking math this sem?”

“I know him,” Sara adds, “He’s in my lab. Funny kid. My hands are full right now.” She reads off her list. “I have chemistry and physics students. I can’t take Chanyeol.”

“Too bad.” Taecyeon goes over his list again. “Why don’t I get any girls?

“Can we please focus?” Joonmyun’s efforts are ignored for more side commentary on this semester’s assignments. “I have a proposition.”

“Olivia, did you get anyone interesting?” asks Lee Jinki from English. Last year, he won both Best and Worst Student of the Semester. If they were going to suffer through the pains and face palm moments of teaching their peers, they might as well have fun with it. Best and Worst were not based on grades but on performance during sessions. Jinki had the sad fortune of having the most interesting English speakers to exist in their history as a group.

“Not really.”

“I have a proposition,” Joonmyun says over the chatter. “Everyone, listen. This is good.”

It seldom is and Yewon shares a look with Sara before turning their attention to Kim Joonmyun. The Best and Worst Student awards was his idea. As with several other gimmicks in the last three years of their sad, one way relationship.

“I read this article somewhere about some teachers who paired their students up. As in, set them up romantically. One pair is getting married this year. We could perhaps, do something similar. Since clearly, one problem plaguing our peers is their lack of romantic conquests.”

“I like this idea!”

Yewon is not as excited as Taecyeon. “Seriously?”

“It’s a worthy pursuit,” Joonmyun adds. “We help them not just with their academics, but also with their hearts.”

Sara’s giggling fit is not as discreet as she thinks. Jinki just looks lost, and Olivia has a blank expression on her face. Blank as if she’s already had too much of Kim Joonmyun.

“We’ve been at this for a while, and often my students complain about being lonely. Especially during the holidays.”

This isn’t Emma, Yewon thinks to herself. “You realize how disastrous this could turn out, right?”

“You are such a cynic.” Joonmyun is so self-righteous at times, Yewon wonders how he’s survived all the years they’ve known each other. How he’s survived at all. Right. He’s not called Joonmoney for nothing. “Maybe we need to set you up on a date.”

“Oh, no.” She cuts the conversation before it even starts. “No, thank you.”

“She already has her gentleman friend,” Taecyeon lilts, waggling his brows. “When do we meet this gentleman friend of yours?”

“I’m done explaining that.” The gentleman friend Taecyeon refers to is Yewon’s constant textmate, caller, and late night walking companion a.k.a Wu Yifan. Sometimes the occasional Lu Han, but almost always Wu Yifan. It’s a secret Yewon will take to her grave.

“So how are we going to do this?” Jinki asks. Lee Jinki may very well be Joonmyun’s only supporter.

Joonmyun turns his laptop over for the group to see. “We will do this systematically.”

Systematically means the Kim Joonmyun way. While Yewon appreciates Joonmyun’s obsessive need for order and his compulsion to create meaning from seemingly random variables, there’s just something viscerally repulsive about him. At least to her. She had no doubts that Joonmyun is a great guy. In fact, she’s seen him demonstrate his humanity many times before, and maybe that’s her problem with him. Joonmyun is so good at keeping it all together. Too good.

“First, we’ll meet our students.” Said students, all twenty of them in their group, flash on the screen. Their ID pictures line up one by one in neat 5x4 rows and columns. Each of their name plates color coded according to tutor. Joonmyun is red, Taecyeon is a neon green, Sara is pink, Jinki is orange, Olivia is blue-green, and Yewon is brownish yellow something. Someone is obviously out to get her.

Joonmyun continues to the next slide. “Then we’ll collect the necessary information.” Said necessary information is listed out: romantic history, ideal types, ideal date set-ups, etc. Joonmyun isn’t kidding when he says he’s very thorough.

“And then we present our findings. It will be ideal if we can pair them up within our teaching group. I would like our priority, to be this student.”

She does a double take, and once again at the brownish yellow nameplate underneath the photo. Yewon frantically thumbs through her list, in search of one specific name. She finds the page and anger bubbles up within her.

Oh Sehun.

Last year, she finished her training as a high school Math teacher at SMA. Her whole experience can be summed up by saying it was not one of her finer moments in life. Her plea is temporary insanity caused by excessive environmental testosterone from hormonal teenage boys. Lu Han duly reminded her of their high school experience regarding SMA boys and anything in a skirt but Yewon naively shrugged it off. She has survived it before, it should have been easy then.

How gravely mistaken she was.

She flicked her forefinger over his face and crushed the urge to fling his file across the room, go after it, stomp all over it, crumple it up, tear it apart, then burn it to the ground and have some animal piss on it.

“Are you okay?”

“Peachy. Perfectly peachy. Why do you ask?”

Sara inches back, speechless. “Are you sure?”

“Perfectly. Peachy.”

“O-okay.” Her eyes dart to Oh Sehun’s file and then to Joonmyun’s screen.

Oh Sehun’s face is displayed with his student information on the side. “This is a very close underclassman of mine,” Joonmyun explains. “It’s his first semester, and when I welcomed him, he confessed to me that there’s a reason why he worked so hard to get into this university. It turns out, he’s met someone from here, and the only way she would go out with him was if he got into the program and asked her again.

“He met her in his senior year, he won’t give out the full details, but I do think he’s disillusioned into thinking this girl really will. She’d be a senior by now, and I won’t put it past this girl to have said what she did just to let him down gently. So I would appreciate it if we focus a little bit more of our energies on him.”

Yewon massages her temples and mentally recites the Fibonacci sequence in reverse. In her mind, she still sees Stoneface’s annoying flat stoneface and hears his annoying, whiny voice, and that stupid lisp. Most of all, she still has the image of Oh Sehun and his never-in-attendance necktie and the irrational anger it elicits.

“Yewon?” His smile is too bright, and even Olivia reels from the blinding image.

“Yes, Joonmyun?”

“I expect your full cooperation in this endeavor.”

“You got it.” With both hands, she flips him off from under the table.