“Kim JooHyun…” he called out my name softly. It had been the voice that I missed for long. The secret that I had been keeping from him for years was exposed. Previously, he did not know I was admitted to the hospital many times. He did not know I had an illness. Most importantly, he did not know I was dying.

 

“Hey JongIn!” I greeted him cheerfully. Although he had found out about my illness, I did not want him to see me as someone weak. That was not how I portray myself in front of him when I was with him.

_____

 

“JooHyun-ah…” again, he called me with that soft and gentle voice of his.

“Why did you keep your illness a secret from me?” he asked.

“If I were to tell you about it, will you give me an extra life to live on?” I questioned.

 

He hesitated to answer me. It was impossible for him to answer that nonsense question of mine.

 

“I can’t give you an extra life but I can give you a happy life,” he said.

“JongIn-ah… I have a happy life. The day when I found out about my illness, I told myself to stay positive each day. It is difficult but I have to do it,” I told him.

 

I did not want him to feel sorry for me. I did not want him to regret anything after I go.

_____

 

The both of us continued to chat. We talked about the past, our ideal types and many more. There were a lot of things to talk about. It was so much fun with JongIn than with JoonMyeon Oppa since we hardly talked. Without us realizing, it was a final reminder for visitors to leave the ward as visiting hour is over.

 

“Ajusshi, visiting hour is over,” I informed him.

“You have to leave now or else the nurses will drag you out of here,” I added.

“If you keep on staring at me that way, the nurses will have to blindfold you and drag you out of here,” I continued.

“All right Kim Agassi. I guess I’ll have to make a move now,” he prepared to leave.

“Goodbye Kim JongIn!” I waved at him.

 

I did not know if I would get the chance to meet him again the next day. The doctor had warned me that my days on Earth were really limited.

_____

 

Kim JongIn’s POV:

I entered JooHyun’s ward and found only JoonMyeon Hyung in the ward. He was sitting on a chair beside the bed. He was staring at the bed with full of regrets.

 

“She’s not returning. She’s gone,” JoonMyeon looked down.

“She passed away in her sleep,” he added.

“Why does she have to go too soon? How did she get stomach cancer? What sin did she commit to receive this? I did not even get a chance to spend time with her. I did not even get a chance to say a proper goodbye to her…” he continued.

 

I could not say a single word. All I could do was to watch JoonMyeon Hyung crying. I understood that he was really in pain. He was more hurt than me because he had been living with JooHyun all his life and I just knew JooHyun for a short while.

_____

 

After he calmed down, he took out something from his bag and passed it to me. It was a thin white envelope.

 

“I found this when I was cleaning up her belongings here,” JoonMyeon Hyung said.

“I should leave you alone for now. If anyone asked where the awakening ceremony is, tell them it is at the 5^th floor,” he informed me before heading out of the ward.

 

I saw on the chair that JoonMyeon Hyung sat on earlier. I looked at the empty bed and then the white envelope. I slowly opened the envelope. It took me a while to read the content of the letter. I was nervous.

___

 

Dear Kim JongIn,

Thank you for visiting me at the hospital. Although the time we spent together was short but I really appreciate it. You asked what was my happiest moment, didn’t you? Here is your answer… Every second being with you… that was my happiest moment.

 

Who would have thought that a bright and cheerful girl like me would have a serious illness? Who would have thought that I would be gone too soon? Okay! Enough with these questions without answers. Here comes the real content of this letter.

 

You are my friend who stayed by my side all the time. You are brother who treated me like a little girl. You are my lover who supported me. You are my father who believed in me. I hope that you will treasure this special friendship of ours forever.

 

I am sorry for keeping my illness a secret from you. I was scared that you would not want to be my friend anymore. I am sorry for lying to you the day before I got admitted to the hospital. I did not want you to see me in a hospital outfit. I did not want to look sick and in front of you. I am sorry for everything I did. Please forgive me…

 

I am thankful that you appeared in my life. I am thankful that you wanted to be my friend when other people avoided me. I am thankful that you did not see me as someone different. I am thankful that we are both weird and could easily communicate with each other. I am thankful for all the happy moments we shared. Thank you my friend… my best friend… my special best boy friend…

 

As you are reading this silently, I guess you are wondering how I got so much time to write this extremely long letter to you. Am I right? JongIn-ah… I know that once day you will find out the truth. Therefore, I prepared this letter as soon as I entered the ward. I do not know when I would be gone…

 

My friend… Please stay healthy and happy. I hope that you will be a successful choreographer in the future.

 

From your four-leaf clover guardian angel,

Kim JooHyun

 

P.S If you miss me, look at the four-leaf clover keychain.

___

 

“Four-leaf clover… Difficult to find but lucky to have…” I looked at the keychain that described Kim JooHyun perfectly.