Seungho's Pov:

(Italics means flashbacks.)

 

I walked over to you and sat down beside you. I took out our photo and stared down at your beautiful face. The shape of your eyes, the pink in your cheeks, the curvature of your lips, it stills hurts. It still hurts to look at you.

"No matter how many times i look at this it doesn't compare to your real beauty." My thumb ran across your face, "I miss you so much yeobo."

"I remember that day like it was yesterday. A day i will never forget and a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life."

My mind goes back to that day. The single most happiest day of my life swept from under me. I clutch at my chest as the memories rush back to me.

I stared down at your smiling face as you held our son in your arms.

"Seungho-yah our son is so handsome" your voice breathless.

"Just like his appa" I said making you giggle.

If i knew that that was the last time i was ever going to hear you laugh i would have come up with a better joke.

The nurse comes and takes our son away to treat him.

"You did so good today yeobo" i said sweetly as i your cheek gently.

"I couldn't have done it without you oppa" you smiled slightly.

I leaned down and kissed you softly, "On maumul dahheso youngwonhee onjenah dahngshinul sarangheyo" you whisper to me.

"Always and forever" i whisper back.

I pull away and stare down at your state, you looked a little out of it. You looked very tired and pale faced.

"Yeobo are you alright?"

"Her heart rate is dropping!" I hear the nurse yell.

I looked around hastily as the doctors and nurses are moving around the room quickly.

"What's going on?"

I hear your heart monitor machine ring and i see the straight red line.

"__________!" 

I feel hands pull me out the room but i fought against them. You lying there in the hospital bed, lifeless and slowly slipping away from me. This couldn't be happening! I kicked and screamed and fought all the way to the waiting room.

I snap out from the memories with a twisted pain in my chest.

"Why did you leave me jagiya?" I said to your grave stone. I feel the tears forming in my eyes and my chin quiver. "Why would they take you away from me?"

Tears fall from my cheeks and i curl into my knees. It's been 3 years since that day but it still felt like it was yesterday. It still cut through my heart, it still cut through my soul, it still cut through my very being.

"I feel so lost without you jagiya. I feel so broken, i feel like i don't feel anything at all" I said between cries. "I dream about you every night, dreaming about the life we would have had together as a family. I wish you could come back to me. I wish i could hold you and kiss you. I wish i could tell you everything i couldn't say to you then. How much you mean to me, how much i love you."

I stared down at our photo again, a tear falling onto it, "I'm afraid jagiya, i'm afraid i'm going to forget you. Forget every moment we ever shared. Forget every fight we ever had." I wipe my nose, "I don't want our son to grow up without knowing you, to grow up not knowing how amazing and beautiful his umma was. I don't want to do this alone, i don't want to do this without you." My shoulders shake as i cry.

I feel a small hand touch my shoulder and i turn and see our son.

"Appa what's wrong?" 

He wipes my cheek softly and I pull him into my lap. I show him our picture, "I'm just thinking of umma adeul" i say as i wrap my arms around his small body.

"He looks more and more like you everyday." I say as i watch him play with the picture. "There are so many things he does that remind me so much of you. It hurts so much jagiya"

"Where's umma appa?" our son asks.

I wipe my cheek and point to your gravestone, "She's right there. Go give her a popo and a hug"

He gets up and wobbles over to you and wraps his tiny arms around you and gives you a tiny kiss. Watching him do that made my heart cringe, i wish you were actually here to fell them.

"Seungho-yah?" I look behind me and acknowledge my mother. 

"We should go." she says and i nod.

I caress your gravestone, "On maumul dahheso youngwonhee onjenah dahngshinul sarangheyo." I lean forward and kiss you. "Happy Anniversary my love. Till the day i see you again." 

I lift up our son, "Say bye _______-ah"

He leans his head against my shoulder and waves shyly, "Annyeong umma, saranghae" He said cutely.

I turn and walk towards my mother.

"Always and forever" i hear your sweet voice say to me.

"Always and forever"

                                                                  -------------------------------------------------------------

On maumul dahheso youngwonhee onjenah dahngshinul sarangheyo: I love you with all my heart, always and forever.