I thought I loved everything about myself. I thought I loved everything about life. I thought I loved everything about everyone around m, but I guess I was wrong. It really only took five minutes for me to hate almost everything in life, which I shouldn’t. It only took one question, seven words, seven syllables, twenty letters for me to hate almost everything about myself. It only took one person to destroy me.

“Why do you have a guy name?”

I blink, contemplating. I look up at the person who asked that question. Him, I will surely remember him for asking such a ridiculous question, but it wasn’t ridiculous at all. Actually, I should’ve been asking myself that right when I learned how to talk. Tae-Hyun, it is irrefutably a guy name, but why would my parents name me that? For I am a girl, I deserve to be named with a girl’s name, not something like Tae-Hyun.

“I-I don’t know,” I answer. “That’s what my parents decided to name me,” I told him.

I study the boy carefully. He knows how to talk well even at a young age, like me. I am known to be an overachiever but I guess there is someone else on the same level in this world. He is tall, taller than me at least, but shorter than Joonmyeon Oppa. He is pale but it is kind of milky white, beautiful skin color. He had dark brown eyes, almost the same color as his hair.

“Well, your parents must really hate you then,” he said. I gape at him. What? Who is he to be saying such things? How does he even know? He doesn’t know me or my parents; he has no right to say something like that.

He reaches down and grabs a chip from my plate, plopping it into his mouth. He stole from me! Oh, how outraged I was. He then just smirks and walks away, over to where Joonmyeon Oppa was. By then, I was fuming. He thinks he can just diss me off and then walk over to my best friend like nothing happened? That’s unacceptable.

I stroll over to him, picking up a cupcake from the desert table on the way, and tap on his shoulder. Right when he turns around, I smothered the cupcake all over his face. The parents around us gasps, as did Joonmyeon. My parents immediately run over to me and pulls me away from him, making me drop the cupcake. His parents also run over to him and wipe his cupcaked face with napkins. My dad bows to them and apologizes on my behalf while my mother hit me from behind.

I cry as my mom did so. I thought that I only stood up for myself, but then why am I the one getting punished? Why is my dad apologizing when they should be apologizing to me? After all, their son was the one that disrespected me first, I just got revenge. It was fair wasn’t it?

“Tae-Hyun, apologize right now,” my mother demands. I dry my tears and look at her with a puzzled face. I shouldn’t be the one apologizing. “Tae-Hyun, you know what you did. Now apologize,” she hisses at me. You’ve got to be kidding right? “Tae-Hyun,” her voice was stern and threatening.

“I’m not apologizing until he says sorry first,” I told her. I stood firm on my two feet and held my ground, crossing my arms over my chest. The large room was now silenced and everyone stares at me, even the rude boy with his face now clean.

“Excuse me but, what did my son even do to you?” his mother questions. She seemed kind but she acted really mean right now. I mean, I would act the same if this happened to my child.

I avert  my eyes from her and stared at the boy. “He said that I had a boy name and that my parents hate me,” I state. The room gasps after they heard my statement, like they couldn’t believe it. My dad scoffs.

“Yixing wouldn’t do something like that,” he said. I look at him with innocent eyes but my mind burns in anger. Is he really siding with him? “He’s a good kid. Tae-Hyun, why would you lie like this?”

“But I’m not lying!” I exclaim, stomping my feet in protest. Do they not believe me? Not even my parents? But, they believe him, Yixing, whom they haven’t even known for longer than a day.

That’s the day when I realized that I lost my parents, all to a boy named Zhang Yixing.

That night, the Zhangs came over to our house so that my parents could properly apologize. I refused to do so though, so my parents had to do it themselves.

I sit silently at my windowsill with my knees tucked in and my arms wrapped around them. I look out into the neighborhood through the window as I cry. My parents don’t even care. They scold me long and hard, making me cry, and now they’re laughing with the people that caused this controversy in the first place. I felt eyes on the back of my head but I don’t turn around, for I already know who it is.

My parents and his had sent us to my room to try to make up and be friends, but I would never let that happened. I would never be friends with that boy. So now, here we are. He sat on my bed watching me cry as I cry from the windowsill. The room was silent except for the occasional sniffling I make while I cry. It was dark and the stars shined so bright, my favorite time of day. But there was nothing pleasant about the stars today, everything was odious.

I heard shuffling behind me but I chose to ignore it, and then came footsteps. Closer, and closer they got, until I could feel his presence right behind me. The next thing I felt was a hand ruffling my hair as if it was an attempt to make me stop crying. I sniffle and turn around. The lights in my room weren’t so I couldn’t see him very well but I knew it was him nonetheless.

“Stop crying,” Yixing orders. “You look cuter when you smile.”

It’s been two weeks since the incident. It’s been a week since I last met face to face with him. It’s been exactly four days since my parents told me they were moving in next door.

I stare at my ceiling, bored out of my mind. The Zhangs, next door, finally got settled and everything was quiet again. I was no longer grounded after Yixing said that he was fine with it.

He said, as I quote, “The past is the past, and I doubt she’ll apologize sooner or later.”

My parents didn’t like it at first, pressuring me to apologize even more but I didn’t budge. His parents told my parents that since Yixing said it was ok, they won’t hold it against them anymore. But after they left, my parents each took an hour scolding me, which I am now immune to. They seem to be yelling at me a lot these past two weeks, but I no longer cry when they do.

I grab my home phone and dial Joonmyeon’s house. I wonder if he’s mad at me for doing those things since he saw it all unfold right before his eyes.

“Yoboseo?” Joonmyeon answers and I know it’s him because I memorized his voice.

“Yoboseo, Joonmyeon Oppa? Can you can play with me today?” I ask cutely. He has never said no to me before so I don’t see why he will-

“Sorry, I can’t today, Tae-Hyun,” Joonmyeon answers. My face falls. “My mom is... err... taking me to my Halmeoni’s house today,” he explains. My mouth shapes an ‘o’. Well, I guess that’s reasonable. “I got to go, bye.”

I try to say goodbye back but he already hung up on me. I put the phone back and walk to my room. Soon after, I find myself walking to the playground. I had already told my mom where I was going and, unlike usual, she let me go by myself. I remember her telling me that this neighborhood is very safe and protected. So here I am, walking towards the neighborhood playground where most of us kid go to play.

The neighborhood is fairly quiet, besides the fact that it’s always quiet. Most of the families here are out on vacation since it's summer. I wish we could go somewhere, but nope. Instead, we get to stay home for two and a half months until school starts up for me. I’m lucky that Joonmyeon isn’t going anywhere either, except his Halmeoni’s right now.

I walk up to the base of the playground and I see the silhouette of two people. I look around and I see there weren’t any parents around either. Therefore, out of curiosity, I walk up to them. Now, I can only see the back of their heads but I could determine who one of them was through his voice, and since I knew who he was, I figured out who the other one was. I stood still, watching them, as they laugh and played with their backs facing me. It was then that he turned around and saw me.

“So you’re lying to me now?” I question with an eyebrow cocked. Then the other one turned around. And now, both Yixing and Joonmyeon stood in front of me, but only Joonmyeon had emotion in his face. “Is there a reason why you had to lie to me to hang out with him? I would’ve felt better if you told me straight forward instead of covering it up with a lie. We’re not girlfriend-boyfriend, Joonmyeon, we’re best friends. We’re supposed to be able to tell each other everything,” I said.

I look over to Yixing for a moment and catch him rolling his eyes at me. I felt my anger rise up. Oh, how this boy just makes my blood boil.

“Tae-Hyun, I-” Yixing shushes him.

“He doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore. I mean, who would? You’re pretty abusive and ugly. Plus, you’re a girl and everyone knows you have cooties,” Yixing states. My jaw drops. He’s being straight up rude and still no one is there to help me, not even my now ex-best friend.

“Abusive? Ugly? Cooties?” I repeat. “How immature can you be? First, you tell me that I have a boy name and my parents hate me, now you tell me this? Are you not going to do anything about it, Joonmyeon?” I ask. He stutters something but then lets out a sigh and shrugs.

“Yixing’s right. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.” 

I chew on the insides of my left cheek as people began flooding through my house. Today, my parents are holding a business party. Whenever I think about first meeting -Wipe, it seems like a long time ago but I remember it so clearly.

It is July 12, 2009. It’s been ten years since I first met the dreadful Zhang Yixing, but due to the choice of location that he and his parents decided to live in, we see each other every day, and today’s no different.

Most of my parent’s co-workers are here and so were their kids. There were lots of five year olds and such. Unfortunately though, the only kids my age were guys and were somehow best friends with Dickface. Their names were Byun Baekhyun, Kim Jongdae, Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun, and Kim Jongin. I really like them actually. They seemed really fun and outgoing but since they’re friends with Yixing, I won’t even talk to them.

I stand as far as I can away from the pool but still within the area. I don’t understand why my parents opted to get a pool even though they know I couldn’t swim. Plenty of the kids were swimming while a couple of the parents were surveying the area, making sure no one was drowning.

Unlike everyone else around the pool area, I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and converses. 

The laughter of the rowdy teen boys was behind me as I stare off into my own world.

It was only five seconds. I swear, I only zoned out for five seconds.

I found myself being hoisted up by three pairs of hands and directed to the pool. The boys were hollering from under me like this was the most thrilling thing they’ve ever done in their life. I thrashed around to break free but I couldn’t. I was a girl against six guys, I would never win.

“Stop! Let go!” I shriek. Their hollers overlap my call for help. This was it, I thought. No one is going to save me, and by the time they realize I can’t swim, I’ll already be dead. Death, something that I yearn for.

I stop moving and yelling for my life. I wanted this. Their version of playing will grant my wish of death. Soon, I will be erased from this world. I wouldn’t have to see my hateful parents, or that dreadful Yixing, or anyone else who betrayed me.

“1... 2... 3!” The boys count in unison before throwing me full force into the pool. I felt the cold water envelope my body and drive me down to the bottom. My lungs gave way immediately, for the impact was too much. My vision blurs leisurely as I choke to breathe. Then, seconds before my vision is completely cut off, I saw someone dive in the water after me. But as I predicted, it was too late.

If only that were the case.

If only I had died that day.

Then, I wouldn’t have been able to see my savior.

Then, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with Yixing.

 Ahhh~

Finally back after two weeks.

Sorry it took too long.

I would've finished it last week-ish but then i got sick so...

But I hope you guys like this chapter ^^

Please comment how you want the next chapter to go!!!!

or I'll pick myself, and I'm warning you guys!

I have a dark and deadly mind! :)) 

-Viv