You left me when I needed you most, but you spoke like an angel and convinced me I would be fine

                Once again, I`m walking around, half on the streets of my Seoul and I believe that this is a common behavior of mine. A guy stares at me and I realize that my s are completely exposed. I try to cover them with my arms and rush home. But wait, where was home? I look around and suddenly, every store looks unfamiliar. I run, faster and faster, trying to avoid the eyes of the public. As I pass them, I see them looking at me oddly in my peripheral vision.

                “Krystal” My eyes flew open. My roommate Victoria was standing over me with a concerned look on her face. Beads of sweat across my forehead slit down into my hair.

                “Bad dream” I mumbled. And I buried my arms deeper into my blanket. She made her way to her dresser and picked out the sweater of the day

                “I think I`m going to skip again” I mumbled through my sheets. She nodded and headed for class. I knew that I was already missing too many lectures but the bed didn’t want me to leave.

                When I was younger and I had a nightmare, my mother used to bring me a glass of warm milk to put me back to sleep. She told me that milk was a remedy for bad dreams and I wouldn’t have them again if I drank it and closed my eyes. I believed this religiously and just knowing that I already had milk would leave me content and put the scary thoughts away. It`s such a cliché thought but believing in something is truly powerful. Maybe it`s because human beings are at their best state in confidence.

                I heated up a glass of milk and gulped it down my throat. ‘No more sleep ’ I thought to myself, and I crawled back into bed. My psychologist told me that it would be good for my emotional distress if I imagined myself into a happier environment. For me, nothing was happier than being a child. To be free of reality and encouraged by society to “act your age”

                Even with my father abandoning us and my mother being an emotional wreck, I was free of the stress because I was young. Young people shouldn’t be involved with “adult issues”, children should focus on learning good manners and morals. Being twenty, that`s no longer an option for me. My mom`s problems are now mine and the world is tough.

I looked at the bright screen of my phone.  

What`s up?

-Jae Joong