“I’m home” Seungyeon said taking her shoes off 
and dropping her bag in the hallway. 
She walked into the kitchen. 

Seungyeon always came home late and dinner would always be ready. 
Though dinner was always the same with her bother Taehyun. 
He was four years older than her and already finished school and had a job. 
And was looking for a place for his self. 
Her sister was three years older than her. 
Shinhye she studied at a university in Seoul. And had a part-time job and a pet shop. 
And we had my mom and dad they adored my brother and sister. 
They always get praised by my parents but I mostly get scrolled. 
I’m never good enough. 

Most of my free time I spend in my room doing homework studying or doing nothing at all. Though every day I write a letter to my old friends but I never send them. 
I don’t have any friends. 
I get bullied at school so why make friends with mean people like that. 
but years ago I did have 5 good friends.
But five years ago the left me all alone for their own dreams. 
They made their debut as SHINee. 

I still miss them every day and that’s why I write the letters, 
but I never send them. I don’t want them to know how bad I feel 
I want nobody to know that’s why I act like everything is fine.

It’s hard every day is a battle.
Every day I have fight to keep my act together.

They push me, laugh at me, insult me and throw  just everything at me.
This is something I never tell at home nobody knows.
Not that they would care. Even teachers don’t seem to care.

The only place I ever cry is in my room. When nobody can hear me and nobody can see me.

But today it was different. Today I lost the battle. My tears flowed, I cried. And everyone at school saw it. 

I knew it would all be to mush for me one day but what do I do.
How can I fight longer how can I be stronger.

There words hurt me every day. And they are true 
I really am as useless as they say. 
But would really no one miss me. 
SHINee wouldn’t even know do they even remember me.

Not that it would bother. 

Maybe I should go. 

~three weeks later~

“This is it.” I softly said to myself.

I was standing next a street in Seoul.
Because if I couldn’t decide where to live or die.
I was gone let faith decide for me and I did that right here.

So when I saw a car coming fast. I ran for it aiming to be hit. 

Before I knew it everything was darker than the night sky.