Kai got 3 first year Philosophy students to tutor, one of them was Oh Sehun. After arranging to meet at Kai's student flat, and a whole afternoon of Kai tidying up the place Kai invites Sehun in. The lion's den...

 

"Do you want something to drink? I have coke."

 

"Yes please" Sehun said politely and Kai left to get him a can.

 

Sehun held the can away from himself as he pushed the ring through the metal letting out a loud hiss, he twisted the ring until it came off.

 

"Why do you come to first year Philosophy lectures if you're tutoring Sociology?" Sehun broke the silence, suddenly.

 

Kai was surprised that Sehun had even noticed him, the tutor deliberately never called his name or drew attention to him and Kai always tried to look as inconspicious as possible. Kai grinned awkwardly,blushing slightly and sat down.

 

"I'm a Sociology final year, I'm studying for my dissertation. I need research."

 

"And you chose me to study?" Sehun stared him out.

 

"No you chose me...To teach you stuff...About sociology. And we're going to start with sociology basics...marxism, social class, hierarchies..."

 

Sehun raised his eyebrows and tried to make sense of what Kai was saying about class structures.

 

As Sehun left his tutor's flat he felt filled with bubbles, metaphorically and partially because of the coke. He felt light and happy anyway. He had never felt this interested in a person and he knew Kai was interested in him. He'd felt Kai's gaze on him as he wrote notes on Plato and tried not to let his shaky heartbeat reach his hands. Sometimes he forgot completely about Kai and would glance to the side to check where he was looking and Kai was looking at the whiteboard or the tutor. He had to tell himself it was nothing, Kai was only looking at him because he looked so weird. And even if he didn't think he looked weird he constantly embarassed himself by saying something stupid about Sartre in front of everyone or asking a naive question. He'd studied Philosophy at A Level but was having trouble adjusting to complex theory and the presence of Kai made him feel self concious. Lost in thought he got on the wrong bus absentmindedly and had to walk back to his student accommodation, weaving his way through the crowds of students milling around in town. Still, he had long enough to think about how glad he was that he got to talk to Kai and didn't say anything really stupid.

 

---

 

After the first tutorial Kai didn't want to seem forward but text Sehun asking if he wanted to arrange meeting twice a week. Sehun text back quickly with a simple yes.

 

Two weeks had already passed and the pressure Kai felt about those two lectures had all but dissappeared, now he got to see Sehun 4 times every week. And it was so, so much better than he had imagined to get to know Oh Sehun. Sometimes Kai got a bit irked at Sehun's childish nature and he wanted to tell him to grow up but in the next breath Sehun would say something with such maturity and clarity that he felt like he was truly getting to know him. They met on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and on Tuesdays they decided to go straight from the lecture "I haven't got anything else on". This particular Tuesday, two weeks in, Kai proposed that instead of taking the bus they walk ("It's only like, 20 minutes!") and Sehun reluctantly joined him. They walked past a small supermarket and Kai exclaimed that he would nip in because he needed a few things. Grabbing a trolley and heading for the vegetable aisle he picked up what he needed and went on to get some sweets. 

 

"Brocolli is my favourite vegetable, do you like brocolli?"

 

"mmm" Sehun nodded.

 

Kai asked Sehun what sweets he wanted and he chose Skittles. It felt nice doing normal mundane tasks with someone. Kai was so alone a lot of the time that he forgot how nice it was to just have some company. And Sehun never seemed like he hated being with him or like Kai was wearing him out or anything. He smiled as he thought of this and turned away from Sehun so he couldn't see.

 

Back at the flat, in the kitchen Kai emptied the skittles into a bowl and began picking out the green ones and putting them in a different bowl. Sehun came up behind him.

 

"You really like green huh?"

 

"Yeah, green is my favourite colour." Kai smirked.

 

---

 

The bus rattled along loudly, Sehun was glad because it drowned out his thumping heart. Kai was so close to him and all he could do was look away. Their knees knocked together all the way back to Kai's flat. There was nothing ever said between them but the longing and understand was read in each others eyes. Sehun thought it was sympathy, Kai thought it was dependence. But they knew there was something.

 

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" Kai asked Sehun after they had finished studying.

 

"No" he replied, embarrassed. If Kai had not been directing him toward the front door he would have explained why, or desperately tried to. Sehun was out the door when Kai, rushing as he said "No I haven't either. Had a girlfriend."

 

Neither made eye contact as Sehun turned and made his way out. Kai then closed the door, ashamed and at a loss with himself. He repeatedly whispered "idiot, you idiot" as he was making tea.

 

---

 

Outside Kai's flat raised voices drift out into the corridor "But you can't discount free will! People still CHOOSE don't they, at the end of the day." Sehun was saying. Kai and Sehun were in the middle of one of their heated debates. Sehun was starting to look at society in a whole new light.

 

"Noo, because if it's predetermined by your social class or whatever you're gonna fill out what was set out for you. Yes there are anomalies but the general consensus is that if you're say, brought up into the lower social classes that you will stay in the lower social classes and when you have kids (which you will because working class families on the whole have more children than middle or upper) they will be in the lower social classes!" Kai loved their conversations, he loved getting people to think, to question the norm. Kai relished this sort of argument, one where both people don't neccessarily advocate that thing that they're debating about, they're just throwing ideas around, reflecting back off of each other. He hated irrelevant small talk that lead nowhere, this suited Sehun who rarely chattered unless he was in a silly mood. Sehun didn't normally like to talk but he found his conversations with Kai interesting, Kai's passion for knowing was infectuous and he couldn't help provoking him sometimes just to see him react. 

 

"Yeah but you can work really hard right, isn't that the whole point in social mobility?" Sehun retorts.

 

"ahhh but that's the whole point. Social mobility is therefore a lie of a capitalist society that doesn't work because the odds are stacked against you."

 

"You're being very marxist today Kai" Sehun said with a slight confrontational smile.

 

"how dare you" kai pretended to be mad, giving up quickly and breaking into a smile. Getting onto his knees on the sofa and picking up a nearby cushion only to hit Sehun with it. Sehun grabbed the cushion from him and pulled quickly, Kai lost his balance slightly and almost fell on Sehun. They playfight, laughing, until Sehun complained he had a stitch. Kai ruffled Sehun's hair as they both laughed, flushed and out of breath.

 

"You know Sehun, I always used to think you were really serious...My first impressions of you were that you were really...interesting and...attractive and yeah...but you always seemed really serious." Kai said thoughtfully, later that evening. It was true, the first thing he saw was Sehun's smile but he rarely smiled fully after that. Sehun said nothing but just looked down and smiled.

 

---

 

After a restless night of imagining Sehun's lips in front of him and a heartbreakingly warm day that meant Sehun took his jacket off and bared his arms Kai was about to go mad. He'd decided to tell Sehun what he really thought about him because he couldn't stay suspended like this any longer, he felt, quite melodramatically, like he would be a danger to Sehun if he carried on the way he was. As Sehun left the room in from of Kai he turned and said "I am coming round today. If you wait here a minute I just need to get my stuff from the gym changing room."

 

Kai impatiently waited for 2 minutes and then headed to the changing room. There was two people in the first room putting their clothes in a locker before they left. Kai went into the other room and, stunned by what he saw stood and stared. Sehun was shirtless, his back was bent slightly as he had his arms half in a tshirt, about to pull over his head. He stopped and turned, stunned. Kai was still staring at him. It wasn't the first time Kai had seen a mans chest or the first time he had been aroused by a man but it was the first time he had seen Sehun like this. 

 

"um Kai" is all Sehun could manage to say. His heart was racing and he wasn't sure to put the shirt on fully or take it off or- he pulled it over his head and said. "Don't look at me like that, it's wrong"

 

"This cant be wrong, it cant" Kai was shaking his head. Agitated and restless, he took several paces towards Sehun.

 

"Don't-"

 

Kai was inches away from his face, Sehun could feel his warm breath. Kai looked down and pulled Sehun's shirt down fully. his dry lips a bit, he put his hands either side of Sehuns face and pressed their lips gently together. He pulled back a little but seeing that Sehun hadn't pushed him away went in for a deeper kiss. Sehun turned his head and kissed Kai back, despite himself, letting his hand rest on the back of Kai's neck. They settled into each other, Sehun let out a low groan when Kai rubbed his crotch against him. Suddenly a cough shattered them both and they broke away from each other, picked up their things as if nothing had happened and left quickly. Itchy all over and suddenly feeling very sober they walked out into the cold Autumn air together to get the bus to Kai's flat. As they left Eden together Kai glanced back and noticed Snake staring at them. 

 

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