It’s been four months. Four long months Lu Han lived without his… best friend. Yeah, best friend. Minseok is only a best friend. Minseok and Lu Han has been friends since Minseok came to Beijing six years ago, since both of them were freshmen in School of Architecture in Tsinghua University. But living without his best friend for four months is really not easy to Lu Han.

He sighed and put his head on his desk. He was glad the big project has been passed and he should be thankful because he didn’t get fired since he felt so ed up for these four months.

.::.

Lu Han still remember that Sunday morning in their shared apartment when Minseok got phone call from his mother in Korea. The Korean often got phone call from his home, at least once a month, but this time is different. Lu Han doesn’t understand what the Korean talked about with his parents, but it seemed serious because Minseok didn’t look happy after that.

“So what was that about?” Lu Han asked while offering orange juice Minseok always liked.

Minseok took a sip before he shrugged, “yeah. They asked me about partner.”

“Partner?” Lu Han raised an eyebrow.

“Something like… girlfriends? Wife?” Minseok put his half-empty glass before heading to bathroom.

Lu Han’s eyes still planted on the bathroom door when he nodded and just said, “oh.”

.::.

A week after the phone call, Lu Han found Minseok going out of his room with a luggage. The latter gave a smile, “I’m going home for a while.”

Lu Han nodded; he understood, Minseok lived far from his parents so it’s normal when Minseok going home once in a while to meet his parents and family and friends there. But deep in his heart, he felt that he couldn’t let Minseok go.

“When will you come back?” he didn’t care if he sounded a bit desperate but he was afraid he would lose his best friend, the love of his life.

Minseok looked up and smiled, showing Lu Han his gummy. “In a few days, Lu. Don’t worry; I’ll call you once I got there.”

Lu Han nodded. Minseok always said that every time he went home and he did actually what he said. He called Lu Han a lot when he’s in his hometown so Lu Han shouldn’t be worry because Minseok will call him and say that he misses Lu Han.

“Hold on. I’ll take you to airport.”

Minseok smiled and nodded like a child. Lu Han only chuckled. He missed his best friend already.

It’s like the usual when Lu Han drove Minseok to airport. They would hug a little bit too long and a bit tighter. They would look into each other’s eyes to tell each other the unspoken words between them like, ‘Please comeback soon’ or ‘I will be back’. They would wave to each other and Minseok would grin and say ‘Don’t miss me too much!’ and Lu Han would just stick his tongue out. But that day feel different to Lu Han for some reasons he couldn’t understand.

Lu Han didn’t know that Minseok’s “few days” will be “few months” or maybe “never”. Lu Han didn’t know that he will regret not saying “please comeback”. Lu Han didn’t know.

.::.

Lu Han arrives in a coffee shop he usually went with Minseok, but today he’s alone without his best friend. Even the baristas never ask again why Minseok wasn’t with him. They probably know Minseok won’t be back.

Lu Han orders Minseok’s favorite, Caramel Latte, and sits in the corner. He takes out his laptop and turns it on when he hears some noises. Two guys sit in the table beside him but he can’t see them because his back is facing them and he doesn’t care about the guys when a waitress brings him his Caramel Latte.

Lu Han starts to do his work for the next project. Since Minseok resigned – yes, Minseok is already resigned, he didn’t even tell Lu Han about it– Lu Han has double work to do because their company hasn’t hired anyone. When Lu Han takes time to sip on his latte, he hears the two guys behind him saying thing that surprised him. And that’s when Lu Han realizes, one of the two guys is Minseok’s Korean friend who studied in the same university.

“Hey, did you get Minseok’s invitation? It’s this weekend right? I really want to go~ I want to go to Seoul!”

“Oh I got it! He emailed me. But I don’t think we can go. Let’s just send them our blessings.”

Lu Han freezes. He grips tight his warm mug.

No… Minseok, how could you do this to me?

.::.

Lu Han throws himself on Minseok’s bed. Since Minseok went home, he’s been sleeping in Minseok’s room. It still hasn’t changed and Minseok’s things are still there that’s why he feels comfortable because that way Lu Han doesn’t feel that Minseok is leaving him. But now, Minseok is really leaving him.

Lu Han inhales the scent on his pillow but he can’t smell Minseok anymore. He even forgets how Minseok smells like. It’s been too long.

Lu Han lets his tears stream down on his cheek. He really misses his best friend. He loves him. He has been in love with Minseok and doesn’t even have the chance to say it to the latter.

Lu Han remembers when Minseok went home, a few hours later he got a text from his best friend saying that the Korean has already arrived in his hometown safely. And he replied with “tell your mom I say hi ^^ annyeong Minseok’s umma~” and Minseok replied immediately with “yah! You’re so impolite! It should have been ‘annyeonghasimnika’ or ‘annyeonghaseyo’ -_-”. Lu Han was relieved that day because, hey, nothing has changed right? But he was wrong.

Since that day, Lu Han couldn’t reach Minseok. There are no texts, no phone calls, and no news about Minseok until a week after Minseok went, his boss told him that Minseok already sent him resignation letter via email.

Lu Han checked his email and found one new email from Minseok. Minseok only told him that he was sorry because he lost his phone and he will quit his job in China, he will be busy with ‘family problems’ for a while. Minseok also told Lu Han that he doesn’t need to be worried because he will be back to China later. But Minseok didn’t tell him when ‘later’ is, and it’s been four months.

Now Lu Han realizes, that the ‘family problems’ is he’s getting married. Lu Han knows, Minseok is the type of son who respects his parents so much. So, whatever his parents say, Minseok would gladly do it for them.

Lu Han wipes his tears and fishes out his phone from his pocket. He checks the email from the gadget. And there it is… one new message, from Kim Minseok.

From: Minseok Kim ([email protected])

To: Lu Han ([email protected])

Subject: Wedding Invitation!!

Hi Luhan! ^^ How have you been? I’m sorry I …

Lu Han tosses his phone; he doesn’t dare to open the message. Reading the subject and preview of the message is already too much for him. His heart hurts and he starts to cry again. He only wants to tell Minseok that he loves him. He ing loves Minseok; so ing much that it hurts him sometimes. It’s okay if Minseok will be with someone else, but if he lets it this way, he couldn’t let the Korean man know about his feeling. Minseok seems so happy right now. Oh well, Lu Han thinks that Minseok is really happy right now.

Should I let him go?

.::.

Weekend is getting near and Lu Han tries his hard to live through it. But his mind just couldn’t stop thinking about Minseok.

Will Minseok come back to China with his wife and tell him, “Luhan, I’m going to be a father!”? Should he stop Minseok’s wedding and tell in front of guests that he loves Minseok? He would look heroic, he thinks.

Oh no…

He looks at the monitor in his office cubicle. He really wants to book a flight to Seoul just to see Minseok and confess his love to the latter.  Finally he sighs and clicks the button.

.::.

Yeah, here he is now, arrived in Seoul.  It’s Saturday and Lu Han doesn’t know Minseok’s wedding is held whether in Saturday or Sunday. He doesn’t know where it’s held. He would have known it if he just has the courage to open and read that damn email. He is sure Minseok write down the details for his wedding. And hell, he doesn’t even know Seoul at all! But at least he knows Minseok lives in Guri-si, the east part of Seoul, and he has Minseok’s address with him. So, maybe he will start his journey by coming to Minseok’s home.

.::.

Lu Han is looking at the house. It seems that nobody lives there. He pressed the bell for nth time and shouted ‘excuse me!’ ‘annyeonghaseyo!’ and even ‘ni hao!’ but nobody comes out of the house.  He almost jumps when something touch his shoulder.

“Are you looking for Kim’s family?” a short old lady with friendly face asked him. Lu Han is glad that he learned Korean since few weeks ago. But hey, hearing the native seems much harder! What did she say?

“Umm… pardon me?” Lu Han says and is confused because he doesn’t know if he said it right.

The old lady smiles and seems like she understands that she talks to a foreigner. “You.” She points to Lu Han. “Looking for Kim? House?” then she points the Kim’s house.

Lu Han nods. “Yes.” His smile grows wider because finally he can communicate with Korean.

“They.” She points at the house. “Not living here.” She waves her hands. “They moved a month ago.” She still explains it with the gesture of her hands.

“Ah.” Lu Han can understand what the old lady say so he just nods. Now he doesn’t know what to do since… Minseok has already moved? Lu Han looks at his Korean conversation book for travelers to see what he should ask. “Umm… do you know where it is?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know.” She shakes her head and seems really sorry.

“It’s okay. Thank you.” Lu Han doesn’t forget to bow before he leaves the old lady. He really doesn’t know where to go now.

Minseok, where are you?

.::.

Lu Han feels hopeless so he’s back to his hotel. Enough for today, he thinks. But when he is about to sleep, Lu Han turns on the TV in his hotel and browse to international channels. He stops in music channel and Lu Han can recognize that the music video that is played is from MLTR, Minseok’s favorite band.

After some time I've finally made up my mind

She is the girl and I really want to make her mine

I'm searching everywhere to find her again

To tell her I love her

And I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church

The only place in town where I didn't search

She looks so happy in her wedding dress

But she's crying while she's saying this

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is

Twenty-five minutes too late

Though you traveled so far boy I'm sorry you are

Twenty-five minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again

Wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

Lu Han widens his eyes and realizes. “Church…” he whispers. While listen to the song, Lu Han closes his eyes and feels that his heart is torn and broken into pieces.

Minseok…

.::.

It’s Sunday and the weather is nice. But sadly, Lu Han’s heart isn’t. He closes his eyes and fists his hands. He doesn’t know whether it’s right or not, but he really wants to tell Minseok that he deeply loves him. He doesn’t want to be too late. Even though he should ruin Minseok’s wedding, he doesn’t care. Well, he hopes he doesn’t ruin anything.

Lu Han has the list of churches in Seoul. Wait, what if the wedding isn’t held in church. Lu Han sighed. Okay, at least he will try anything to find Kim Minseok today.

Jiayou, Lu Han!

.::.

It’s almost midnight and Lu Han has gone to many places possible for a wedding and he hasn’t found his best friend yet. Lu Han gives up now. He really gives up.

“Sir, we’re here.” The taxi stops in front of a church. Lu Han looks through the window and there is no wedding-related things he could see there. He sighed.

“Zeus Hotel please.”

Yeah, maybe he should just go home, back to Beijing. He should forget his love and feeling toward the cute Korean man. He believes Minseok will go back to Beijing just to take his things. Or maybe it’s the end of their friendship now? Lu Han chuckled bitterly. He really misses Minseok.

.::.

Lu Han massages his neck when he enters Minseok’s bedroom in their shared apartment in Beijing. It’s already 8 PM now. He was failed to get the first flight to Beijing in Monday morning so he should reschedule his flight. He is so tired and drained, physically and emotionally, from his two days

shower and changing into Minseok’s pajama. He doesn’t forget to hug Minseok’s brown teddy bear –it was a gift from him.

.::.

“Lu Han, I’m sorry. You’re too late.”

“Minseok, but I love you. I love you, Minseok.”

Minseok shakes his head, “if you just come twenty-five minutes earlier, you won’t be late! But—”

“Minseok, please. Don’t leave me.”

“I have to go.” Minseok is holding a girl’s hand.

“Minseok!!”

Lu Han wakes up and he’s panting. He messes his hair and sighed. That damn song.

“Yes?”

Lu Han looks up and he finds his best friend is standing in the door. Still cute like he remembers, dressed in white tee and shorts. Lu Han blinks once. Twice.

“Were you calling me, Lu?”

Lu Han is dazed. He doesn’t answer Minseok’s question. Because… hey, is he dreaming right now?

“Lu, are you okay?” Minseok walks to Lu Han’s –Minseok’s– bed and sits beside the Chinese.

Lu Han’s eyes follow Minseok until he feels the dip in the bed. “Are you real?” Lu Han raises his arm to touch Minseok’s cheek.

Minseok chuckles. “Of course, I am.” He brings the younger’s hand to touch his cheek. “Real, right?”

Lu Han can feel the softness of Minseok’s cheek. It feels so unfamiliar but familiar in the same time. Maybe because it’s been so long since the last time Lu Han touched them. Lu Han leans forward to make sure that what he’s seeing is real.

“Hurry up or you’ll be late to work! I woke you up and told you that you have twenty-five—” Minseok glances at the clock in his bedside. “Oh no, you only have fifteen minutes, Lu! Get up!” Minseok yanks Lu Han’s hand but the latter still sits on the bed.

Lu Han groans. “Minseok, I don’t care!” he yells.

Minseok looks at Lu Han and tilts his head to the younger Chinese.

Lu Han feels guilty because he was yelling at Minseok. “I'm sorry. Umm, when did you come home? I mean, here.”

“Last night. I found you were sleeping in my room so I slept in your room.” He scrunches up his nose. “My room smells like you.”

Lu Han cups Minseok's cheek and whispers “where have you been?”

Minseok smiles and lets Lu Han rubs his cheek. “I told you all the things in e-mail. But yeah, there are things I want to say directly to you.”

Suddenly realization hits Lu Han hard and he stops his rubbing Minseok’s cheek. He takes his hand away. “C-congratulation.” Lu Han says while trying to smile.

Minseok nods, “noona must be happy now.”

“Huh? What?”

“Jiejie. My jiejie looked so happy in her wedding.” Minseok looks at Lu Han who's confused. “Lu?” he pokes his best friend's shoulder. “Hey! Don't tell me that you think it was my marriage!”

“S-so, it's your jiejie's marriage?” Lu Han is still afraid of Minseok's answer but the latter sighs and shakes his head.

“Did you read my e-mail?” Minseok asks.

This time Lu Han shakes his head and Minseok sighs again. “Babo.” he mutters.

“Hey! I know that word!” Lu Han pouts and looks offended.

“Fine, I will explain everything to you from the start. Don't make me repeat it again, okay?” Seeing his Chinese friend smiles and nods, Minseok continues his story. “First, I was sorry to you because I know I made you worried. Everything was hard and I almost gave up. I really wanted to share with you, to go through all of the problems with you. But I can't, I knew you were facing a big project that time so I didn't want to be a burden for you.”

“But Minseok–”

“Lu, it's okay now.” Minseok smiles, “Then I lost my phone, so that time when I resigned from the company, I can only tell you by email. And many things happened after that. My mom was sick and we took her to hospital. My sister was preparing for her wedding. I got a new job too, the salary wasn't really good but at least it covered my living expenses there. My family also sold our home and my parents moved to a smaller one since my sister will live with his husband and I will stay here.”

“You will?”

Minseok smiles again, “Yeah. And... uh, my mom arranged some meetings with some girls too.” now Minseok looks nervous.

“Did you go?”

Minseok nods. “Since my sister was getting married, my mom wanted to see me getting married too. But after a meeting with the third girl, I told my mom that I won't get married soon. And that I...” Minseok looks at his lap. He’s nervous. “I—”

“Minseok,” Lu Han cuts him. “I have something I need to tell you.” Lu Han looks into Minseok’s eyes but he doesn’t continue what he wants to say.

Minseok opens his mouth but before he can say about what Lu Han needs to tell him, the latter leans closer until their lips meet. Minseok’s eyes widen but he doesn’t move.

When Lu Han pulls back he can see the surprised look in Minseok’s face. “I love you, Minseok.”

Minseok tries not to smile by pressing his lips into a thin line. He pecks Lu Han’s lips. “I’ve been dying to that.” He chuckles. “Saranghae.”

“Ah, I know that word too.” Lu Han hugs Minseok. “I love you and I will never let you go.”

Minseok chuckles again. “That’s good. And I told my mom that I’m in love with you.”

Lu Han breaks the hug. “You did?”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m going home for.”