--Mirror mirror on the wall, who does he love from us all?

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'The Liar'

'Staring at yourself in front of a mirror is not going to help, Dara' I scolded myself.

I can't believe with all these shoes that I have, I still can't choose the one I'll wear for tonight. A big sigh escaped my lips. I look back at my reflection, then my gaze was fixed at my bare feet.

I don't feel like going anymore... but telling them I can't come because I have no shoes to wear is a very lame excuse... Argh! This frustration is killing my mood to go now. 'Well, not that I'm fully excited to meet her to begin with.' 

Meeting her... This is the first time that Jiyong will introduce his girlfriend/fiance to me. Yes, he had girlfriends or flings before but he didn't mention any of their names directly in front of me. When we were together, it was always about us...that's why when he told me he met his ideal girl that day...I already have that fear....that ominous feeling...that he will finally move on.

'Are you happy for them?'

I suddenly remembered Bom's question to me after hearing about Jiyong's engagement. I told her I am happy for them… but the truth is, that night when he called me and told me his big news, I wasn't even smiling…

------------------ the phone call -------------------

I was about to start my 4th movie of the night when I heard my phone rang. I did not wait anymore for the second ring to answer it.

"Hello" I answered while clutching my chest for I am afraid my heart will jump out from it from too much pounding. 

"She said yes..." the other line said. I felt my soul left me for a second there. 

As if I didn't hear him the first time, "Dara, she ing said yes!" he said again adding my name and a curse this time around. I was about to answer, 'Yeah I ing heard you the first time.' but that just sounds bitter.

This is not the time to spoil the mood either. I have to understand he is just ecstatic, so I shall forgive him for cursing and hurting my eardrums. I can even imagine seeing his gums showing right now from smiling too much.

"Wow! So, your dream of marrying your ideal girl won't be a dream after all. Lucky bastard! " I joked.

I heard him laughing from the other line.

"Indeed, I'm lucky to have her." he chuckled.

"I can't say the same thing for her though." I said chuckling.

"And you call yourself my friend..." he said pretending to be offended.

"You know you are the best, right? Any girl will be lucky to have you."

"You think so?" He sounds serious.

"Yah! You are just fishing for a complement, right?! Fine! I shall answer thy request~ Kwon Jiyong, you asked, 'why you are the best?' It is because you're like an instant coffee, a two-in-one sachet..inside you, is a man who can warm your heart and a dragon that can make it tremble. Try to beat that!"

I was expecting him to call me on my lame comparison but I didn't expect what he said next.

"A dragon that can make your heart tremble..." it seems like he was drifting for a while there "You don't like dragons?" he asked in a playful tone.

It took a while before I can answer. "Yeah, I'm scared of dragons." 

I heard him sigh. "That makes sense."  

Silence.

Me and Jiyong is what you can call very close friends, but between us there is like a ticking time bomb. I don't dare step on it and he doesn't dare step on it too. Let's just say, we are happy at where we are standing.

"Congratulations!" I said as cheerful as I can be trying to divert back to the main subject. "I am happy for both of you!" 

"You are?" he said barely hearing him.

"Huh?" I frowned.

"Are you really happy?" he asked clearly.

I feel like something is choking me. I have to clear my throat before I can answer.

"Yes...I am." I answered with conviction.

"I see…" he said. 

Again, we were caught in silence.

"Yah..it's already late. I need to hang up now." I said breaking the awkward silence.

"All right. Goodnight, Dara" he said 

"Jiyong.." I called his name

"hmmm..."

"Good bye" 

Then I pushed the end call button.

I didn't notice tears were already streaming on my cheeks.

Yah! Dara, why are you crying like a fool? I scolded myself.

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Knowing that his smiles are all because of her…

Knowing that his eyes are only looking at her…

Knowing that his songs are just for her….

Knowing he loves only her…

It hurts. 

I can't pretend it was me anymore.

I can't feign her non-existence anymore.

Then why am I still happy for them, you asked?

Because… I'm a liar.

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--*staring at her reflection*   Liar! =(