Can I Live Without You?
Junhongie and Me.You give a polite, awkward nod before looking down at your hands on your lap, avoiding his gaze. His giant, lean shadow hovers over you, and from the shadow you can still see his hair rippling gently in the soft breeze.
"...Oh," he says after a while, sounding surprised and disappointed, "Were..were you waiting for someone?"
"Huh?" you look up at him in surprise too. He looks fallen, and his eyes have turned sad suddenly. He points to the opposite side of your two-seat table that's facing you.
You're startled when you notice another cup of coffee, right there, untouched, with its steam still swirling up into the air over it. Out of habit and blurness, you didn't notice you had ordered the usual: 2 cups of coffee—one for you and one of Junhong. After all, you used to always come here with him.
"I....ordered that by accident," you frown and turn away, clearly embarassed.
A confused look crosses Junhong's face, but then he gets it, and a feeling of expected happiness settles over him.
"Sit down if you want," you say with a neutral tone and face.
He does. And he even sips the coffee, like he knows all too well it's meant for him.
Minutes tick by in uncomfortable silence as the two of you sit, managing to find interest in everything about you but each other.
Finally, you ask, "What're you doing here at this hour?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing," he replies as he slips on his coat. The wind is starting to blow a little harder.
It's all you can do to resist getting up and throwing your arms around his neck, even though you want to so bad. To hold him again, to just feel him. Right now, in front of you, he's so near yet so far. Unreachable. Was that what you meant about that barrier you imagined between you and him..?
He looks more handsome than you remember. It's something about the morning light, you think. The chilly sparkle of a new day. You can see it in the way his face seems to glow, fair and smooth as always. He looks so...so fresh and so real. So alive.
*Zelo P.O.V*
I study ______ from the corner of my eye. She's so perfect and beautiful. I wonder if I was ever worthy of that perfection. I can almost see her dark eyes sparkle. Would she still look at me like she used to..? But she had ordered a coffee for me, accident or not. It had made me really happy. So she still thinks of me after all. I wonder if she misses me. I still cling on to that false hope.
Earlier it had took me everything I could to stop myself from cying out "Jagiya!" when I caught sight of her from a distance, almost like she was waiting for me. I nearly fell off my skateboard! At first I thought I was seeing things, but it was really her. _______. My _______, shining like a star before my lost eyes. How can anyone be so irresistable?
*Your P.O.V*
"Have you been doing okay at home?" he asks with concern.
You feel like melting. You had broken up with him almost two weeks ago, and here he is worrying about your being home all alone.
"Nae, I'm fine," you smile a little, "And you?"
"Ah...I'm fine too."
"Oh."
The both of you might as well be wearing matching shirts that spell "LIARS".
"Well...this morning has been pretty weird though," Junhong smiles sheepishly, trying to lighten up the mood, "I got up from bed withot Yongguk-hyung or Daehyun-hyung to wake me."
You let out a small laugh, before realizing yourself and covering your hand over your mouth. There's silence for while once again. At last you get up heavily from your chair and step onto the pavement, "Well...I guess I should be going."
*Zelo P.O.V*
I stand anxiously. I don't want her to go. At least, not so soon. As she turns, I reach out to grab her hand, but I catch myself in time and pull back.
"Wait!" I blurt out.
She turns back around almost immediately, fixes those eyes of her's on me. "Y-Yes..?" her voice is a little shaky. Is she nervous too..?
I hang my head. What am I thinking? Do I even have anything to say to her? No words cross my mind. All I really want is for her to not walk away; not again.
I take a deep breath, not knowing what to say, or how to say it. "I just..well...I mean, I'm sorry it didn't work out. It wasn't too long but...I had the best time with you," are the lame words that tumble out, sounding stale—like hitting against an empty, hollow pot.
I turn around and start walking off, slowly, before I stay any longer to make a fool of myself. I've just surprised us. This time I'm the one leaving. No, there's no triumph that I'm feeling, no sense of dignity regained. Just the anguish and sadness that's eating me through. And of course, there's that 'heartbreak' I hear so much about. I didn't think it was possible to actually physically feel it before, but I feel it now. The pain is excruciating. It's making my steps grow heavier and heavier, reminding me that there's no turning back after this move; like it's prompting me to think through it again. I won't be seeing her again after today. Probably never. Won't be so lucky to bump into her a second time. Can I live with that? Could our meeting today have been nothing but coincidence?
OKAY GUYS. SO. Who else has dieD after listening to B.A.P's 'First Sensibility' album preview medley and watching the 'Angel' CF teaser?! :'D I can hardly wait for the album release asdkcjlassdkclkl falling off my chair
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