Glass shattered.

Broken bottles.

The door slammed shut.

Zitao hugged his knees as close to him as he could as tears flowed down his eyes.

The round circular metal was thrown to the end of the room.

It was raining.

Again.

“Why is it bad things always happen on rainy days?”

His whisper was heard.

"If you walk away, everyday it would rain."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You know one day I’m going to have to leave you. What are you going to do then?”

Kris mumbled as he played with Zitao soft black hair,

his addiction.

Kris always wondered what would happen if he hadn't meet Zitao.

The guy wasn't perfect.

But he was the perfect fit.

He loves Zitao.

With all his heart.

He loved everything about Zitao.

From how their hands always fitted perfectly.

From how they never failed to be by each other's side.

From how it seems like they were the luckiest people in the world just being able to be in each other arms.

Kris wanted to grow old with Zitao.

If possible be with him forever.

“I’ll leave with you.”

“Zitao.”

“What matters now is that we’ll together and you won’t leave me right?”

“I’ll always be there for you no matter what happens.”

“I know.”

“I only want you to be happy.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

They fingers intertwined.

"I love you too."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sweeping away the broken glass, he crawled his way to the lonely empty cold sheets.

He carefully pulled out the dusty box under his bed as a small smile formed on his face.

“Why.” A huge lump formed in his throat as he opened the box.

"When it rains it pours."

“Oh you’re home.” Kris plopped himself next to Zitao as a huge smile formed on his face.

Zitao picked up the polaroid camera as Kris smiled.

It was still in a perfect condition after all these years.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Happy Birthday babe.” Kris said as Zitao eyes lit up.

“Y..You’re home? Y..You remember? Bu..But-”

 

The first step to our happiness. 

 

“Idiot.” 

The younger was sobbing heavily as he buried his head in Kris chest.

Zitao thought Kris had forgotten.

But Zitao never did doubt his love for the older man.

As long as he was happy, as long as he was less stressed.

Zitao was happy.

Kris never hugged anybody so tightly before.

He slowly combed the black hair as he calmed the shocked.

He felt if he let go he would slip away.

So he didn’t let go.

“You know no matter what happens, you’re always the one I’m thinking about.”

“Every minute every second.”

“I love you.”

 

“Happy Birthday.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I bet nobody ever said that to you.” Kris sighed happily as he rested his face on his right hand.

Zitao picked up the white polaroid camera as he smiled.

“My first birthday present from you.”

They both looked at the polaroid picture.

Zitao kissing Kris on his cheek as both of them had wide smiles.

“I’ve never seen you so happy.”

Zitao picked up the next polaroid as he smiled.

It was a picture of Kris in shades.

“Oh I remember this. It was so hot that day.” Kris frowned as he inched his face closer to examine the picture.

“You looked so stupid.” Zitao mumbled as he sighed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Gege let’s go!” Zitao grabbed Kris hand in his as they ran up the hill.

Kris couldn’t help but laugh along with his lover.

The younger was beyond adorable.

Just by seeing their hands intertwined, 

He was contented for the rest of his life. 

“We’re on top of the world!” Zitao shouted as Kris chuckled.

It took awhile to get the panda down from standing on top of the fence.

One slip and death awaited them.

But at that moment none of them were afraid.

They had each other after all.

They sat on top of the car.

Staring at the view in front of them.

Kris bought out his camera as Zitao chuckled.

 

Snap.

The whizzing sound was heard next as a film popped up from the camera.

 

“I look horrible.” the younger complained as he saw the polaroid of him.

Smiling away with a ice cream cone in his hands and a beautiful view behind him.

He leaned his head on Kris’s shoulders as they both sighed happily.

 

Bliss.

 

Zitao continued to his ice cream before stuffing it to Kris cheeks.

“Yah do you want to die?” Kris joked before trying to grab the younger.

He grabbed Zitao before pulling him towards him and kissing him on the lips.

Zitao grabbed the white polaroid camera before snapping another picture.

There it was. 

The joyful smile and loving eyes.

One thing that Zitao will never stop loving.

Kris.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Zitao then picked up a red checkered shirt from the box as he sighed.

“My favorite shirt.” Kris whispered  “I’ll wear that everyday if I could.”

“Still the same scent.” Zitao whispered before he picked up the polaroid from it’s pocket.

It was him and a sleeping Kris.

 

He definitely remembered this one.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Can you stop changing the channel Kris!” Zitao nudged the older as he pouted.

“Well we should check if there is any other interesting-”

The two continued to bicker childishly as they ate their ice cream tubs.

“No no no nonononoonoonono-” Kris whined as Zitao took the remote secretly and changed the channel.

“GEGE!” Zitao threatened to smear ice cream on Kris as Kris snatched the remote back.

Kris threw a pillow at Zitao as the younger dodged.

The two continued to hit each other with pillows as the tickled each other.

“KRIS!” Zitao whined as Kris smeared ice cream all over his face.

The older chuckled before kissing Zitao on his cheeks and carefully the ice cream.

Zitao rolled his eyes before smearing the ice cream on Kris himself.

The two ended the food fight after they noticed their clothes stained and went to clean up.

By the time Zitao was done changing Kris was already sleeping with his favorite shirt on.

He grabbed the polaroid before plopping himself next to Kris on the bed.

He s his arms around the elder’s waist before bringing up the polaroid camera.

 

Another perfect moment whizzed out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

That night Zitao laid on his bed as the rain continued to pour.

The door clicked open as he quickly sat up.

“You’re home.” Zitao whispered as Kris grunted.

“Why are you still awake?”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Next time don’t bother.”

Zitao sobbed silently as the bathroom door slammed shut again.

It wasn’t like this in the past.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Zitao picked up the discs from the box as he smiled.

“I’m so sorry I broke my promise back then.” Kris chuckled before kissing Zitao on the cheek.

The younger didn’t budge as he stared at the discs.

"You are so so so, amazing."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Are you going to ignore me forever?” Kris pulled Zitao arm before engulfing him in a hug.

The black haired sobbed silently as Kris slowly pat his back.

“Smile babe.” Kris bought his hands to Zitao face as he gently wiped away the tears.

Zitao forced a smile as Kris placed a soft sweet kiss on his lips.

What mattered at that moment wasn't the past or future.

It was the now they shared.

The present.

"We had a yesterday and today. I want you to be in my tomorrow."

"Forever if that exists."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Good Morning panda.” Kris said grumpily as Zitao rolled his eyes.

Kris picked up the toothbrush as he begin to brush his teeth.

Zitao did the same as he stared at the computer screen.

“I can’t believe you still need to brush your teeth with somebody.” Kris grumbled as Zitao rolled his eyes again.

Zitao brushed his teeth as he watched Kris do the same in the computer screen.

Kris rinsed his mouth as Zitao did the same.

They both wiped their faces as Zitao stared at the computer screen.

Kris chuckled before sitting down on the chair and stared at Zitao.

“Guess what day is it my Taozi.”

“Another typical day?”

“Correct. See you later idiot. Go to work safely.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“What are we Kris?” Zitao whispered as they both starred at the blank television screen.

Kris coughed a little before chucking down the glass of water in front of him.

They both stayed silent as the tension grew.

Zitao fears rose as Kris opened his mouth.

“Let’s break up.”

Silence.

“Why?” Zitao whispered as he looked away.

Tears were falling.

His heart was completely shattered.

Kris never returned his answer.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“WOAHHHHHH!!” Zitao shouted together with Luhan and Yixing as they cheered loudly.

“Oh god Zitao are you listening to me? YAH!” Kris voice squeaked from the computer as Zitao chuckled.

“Oh yeah what were you saying gege?”

“You need to stop watching wushu competitions.”

Zitao just smiled before concentrating on the television screen.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Zitao woke up to the empty bed beside him as he sighed.

He headed to the living room only to fall on his knees.

Kris had packed all his stuff.

Kris had left him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Zitao bought his laptop out to the park as he sat on the bench.

He carefully opened the laptop and placed it on his lap as he ate his ice cream on the other hand.

“Hello and guess where I am stupid panda?”

“You need to stop calling me that I swear.” Zitao chuckled before the ice cream.

“I’m at some Namsan Tower eating ice cream, can you guess which flavor?”

“Green tea as usual.”

“You’re correct! I found our locks here too.”

Kris walked towards the sea of locks before bending down and pointing to a dragon and panda lock.

Zitao smiled widely as he continued to eat his ice cream.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kris watched Zitao sleep peacefully in his arms as he the younger’s cheek.

“I love you.” He whispered.

To Kris, Zitao was his definition of love.

His definition of perfection. 

He slowly traced Zitao face as he let out a small smile.

He loved Zitao eyes.

It was full of mystery at first.

Alluring.

He fell in love with it.

He was addicted to it.

And now he wished every day.

Every single second.

He could look into those eyes and say I love you.

And to see the sparkles in those eyes.

His fingers slowly traced down to Zitao’s nose.

He loved Zitao nose.

The boy loved to sniff his clothing in the past.

Zitao would claim that he wasn’t being creepy and he just liked how he smelled.

Zitao always loved burying himself in Kris’s chest.

Kris never did complain.

His fingers slowly traced down to Zitao’s soft pink lips.

Those lips that told him the special 3 words.

Those lips that connected with his.

Those pink lips that Kris would never get tired of.

Addictive.

Sweet.

Never-ending.

Kris gently caress Zitao’s ear.

He loved how the younger would always listen to him.

How the younger didn’t mind his whining sometimes.

How the younger is able to hear his feelings.

Love.

It’s the way they communicate.

The way they showed their affection. 

Kris always loved Zitao slender arms.

Those arms that welcome him everytime he reached home.

Those arms that clung on to him wherever.

Those arms that claimed Kris his.

Kris also loved Zitao soft hands.

Those hands that always fitted perfectly to his.

Those fingers that intertwined with his.

The hands that went through hardship for their relationship.

No matter how hard life was.

Those hands will always hold him.

Kris gently moved the black hair out of his lover’s face as he smiled.

“I love you.”

He the younger’s back slowly as he sighed.

“Forever if that exists.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Cheers.” Kris said as Zitao nodded.

Kris continued to munch on his food while Zitao starred at the computer screen again.

The waiter soon arrived with his food as he started eating.

“Is the food there great?” Kris asked as Zitao nodded, his cheeks puffed out with food.

The two continued to talk through the computer screen as Zitao sipped on his drink.

“I’m done with my meal so I’m going to say bye now.”

Zitao smiled bitterly as the screen turned black once again.

 

“Don’t go.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You said you’ll never leave me.” Zitao cried for as he grabbed Kris arm.

Kris stayed silent as tears poured down his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Their eyes made contact.

It was filled with hurt.

Guilt.

But most importantly,

Fear.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Happy Birthday to you~ Happy birthday to Zitao Happy Birthday to you!” Kris sang as Zitao smiled.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you to celebrate your birthday but I bought cake!” Kris said as he showed the chocolate cake to the camera.

“Thank you babe.” Zitao whispered as Kris looked eagerly at him. 

“Now make a wish! I shall wish with you too!” Kris cheered as he closed his eyes, holding a birthday cake on his hands with 1 candle lit.

Zitao smiled knowingly as Kris opened his eyes again.

The elder blew out the candles as Kris gave a loving smile.

“Happy Birthday babe. I love you. So so much.” 

"I would die everyday waiting for you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Zitao walked down the aisle in a black suit as he walked towards the computer screen.

“Zitao.” Kris smiled through the screen as he held out a rose.

“You look really handsome today.” Zitao whispered as he felt himself falling in love with Kris all over again.

“You look amazing Zitao.” Kris said as he forced a smile.

Kris was wearing a white suit.

He looked like prince charming as his eyes was nothing but love.

Zitao found tears streaming down his eyes as he reached towards the computer screen.

“I been waiting for this moment ever since we started dating.” Kris started as Zitao looked away from the computer screen.

“I fell in love with you so hard. I felt so lucky to spend the last few years with you. 

I enjoyed every minute ever second I spent with you.

I fell in love with you.

I fell in love with those eyes.

The eyes that first sparkled for me.

The eyes that told me you love me.

The eyes that made promises.

I fell in love with your lips.

The lips that connected with mine.

The lips that spoke up to me.

The lips that told me you love me.

I love every part of you.

I love you Huang Zitao.

And you know today.

Today I’m really happy.

You came. 

I’m so happy I got to see you in this suit.

You look amazing today.

I love you so so much Huang Zitao.

I love you.

And you know that I will definitely propose to you right now.

Carry you in my arms.

 And have your lips connect with mine again.

If only.

 

 

If only I was still around.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kris pressed the record button again as he forced a smile.

“If you’re watching this video Zitao.”

He paused as tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

“It means that the operation failed.

I’m so sorry babe.

I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep my promises.”

Kris gently slipped the ring from his finger as he smiled.

“I was planning to propose to you with this. 

I know you’ll like this.”

He stopped playing with the ring as he looked back at the camera.

“I hope..the videos have kept you company while I was away.

I..I regret I could only do so many with you.

I will not allow you to rewatch the videos I made.

I want you to burry the discs with me.

Delete all my messages.”

A tear fell down as Kris quickly wiped it away.

 

“I want you to move on Zitao.

You know.

You know that all I ever wanted in this life was for you to be happy.

I want you to be happy.

To share your happiness with somebody else.

Just like you did with me.

 

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I broke the promise I made back then.

I’m sorry I left you so early.

But I want you to know that no matter what happens.

I will always.

Always always love you.

Forever and till death.

I love you so much Zitao.

So much.

 

I love you and I want you to let go of me now.

 

Bring joy upon others like you brought on me.

I love you.

 

It was the 11th of November 2010 we met.

And its 11th of 2013 that we’ll part.

I love you Zitao.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Zitao clutched his chest as tears flowed down his cheeks.

Nobody was there to wipe it off.

Nobody was there to hold him anymore.

He was alone.

“I love you too. 

I love you Yifan.”

He hand fell back to his said as the mentallic round object on his finger shone.

Their engagment ring.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The thunder roared as rain drops continued to attack the windows.

Zitao held the last disc in his hand as he headed towards the living room.

It was the 11th of November 2015.

2 years has passed since Kris left him.

He looked at the disc as a small smile formed on his face.

Kris weird scribbles on the disc as it read out ‘Open this if you’re upset.’

Zitao slipped the disc into his laptop as the video begin to play.

Kris face appeared on screen as Zitao tried to hold back his tears.

He missed those eyes.

That smile.

Those lips.

That look that gave Zitao reassurance.

But what he missed the most was the person he loved.

The only person he will ever love.

“Hey Zitao.” Kris said as Zitao bit his lips.

It has been such a long time.

A long time since he heard that voice.

That voice that told him the 3 words.

“I miss you.” Zitao whispered as Kris smiled to the camera.

“If you opened this it means you’re upset right now.” Kris said as he adjusted the camera to show the piano.

“I’m going to sing a song for you Zitao. I hope this cheers you up.”

Kris sat on his seat as his fingers laid comfortably on the piano.

“This song is for crybaby Huang Zitao, I hope he remembers this song.”

Zitao smiled bitterly as he wiped away his tears.

 

“His eyes his eyes make the stars look like they’re not shining.

His hair his hair falls perfectly without him trying,

he’s so beautiful. 

Like I tell him everyday.

When I see you face.

There’s not a thing that I would change,

Cause boy you’re amazing.

Just the way you are.

And when you smile.

My whole world stops and I can’t help but stare for awhile.

Zitao you’re amazing.

Just the way you are.”

 

Kris stopped playing the piano as he diverted his attention back to Zitao.

“I regret you know. Not being able to play this song for you every single day in the past.

I love you Zitao. 

And I know while you’re watching this you’re crying.” 

 

Kris gave a sad smile as he stared at the camera.

He looked up at the ceiling to stop tears from falling as he chuckled.

He rested his hands on the keyboard as he begin to play.

 

“Baby don’t cry tonight zài bàofēng lái xí de yèwǎn

Baby don’t cry tonight, when the storm wind attacks.

 

Baby don’t cry tonight hǎoxiàng hěn shìhé zhège yèwǎn

Baby don’t cry tonight, it seems to suit this night very well.

Dàn zhè yī shùnjiān de jīqíng bù nénggòu yáncháng què yào mùsòng nǐ líkāi

But this moment passion cannot be prolonged, yet I have to watch you leave.

 

So baby don’t cry cry jiù ràng wǒ de ài xiàng jìyì ba.”

So baby don’t cry cry, just let my love be a memory. 

 

Kris stopped playing the piano as he smiled at the camera.

“Don’t cry Taozi. I love you.”

 

“And always will.”  Zitao mouthed the last part as the video ended.

He looked at the clock.

11:11

The rain had stopped.

 

“When you smile, sunshine.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

That night Sehun didn’t come home.

Zitao didn’t feel the heartache.

Because he knew the only person he yearned for was Kris.

The only person he ever loved and ever will love was Kris.

He picked up the ring that Sehun threw earlier.

He knows he wasn't being unfair.

He knew Sehun had somebody else in his heart. 

He smiled as the sun shone.

"I'm coming home Yifan."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment please? ^^ Epilogue anyone?