From the moment Sehun stepped into Kim Jongin's room, he knew he had made a mistake.

He had had a bad feeling from the moment he had entered the overly large home. The whole house had a blank feel to it and Jongin's room was no exception. It was almost empty, aside from a bed and bedside table. There was also a small desk in the corner of the room which had a notepad with a pen on top, and dull light streamed lifelessly through the single window beside the bed. 

It was depressing. Too depressing for Sehun. He didn't want to be there.

It was even worse that he had never even met Kim Jongin before, yet there he was, standing awkwardly in the doorway, staring directly at the young man.

"U-Um hello?" Jongin stuttered, confusion clear in his eyes. 

Sehun's fist turned white from how tightly he was holding onto the doorknob, his insides churning before taking a deep breath and putting on his best act of friendliness.
"Hello. I'm Oh Sehun, nice to meet you" he finished it off by smiling pleasantly. 

Jongin's eyes flickered, probably as he tried to understand what was going on. "Hi. I'm Jongin. Kim Jongin" he mumbled, obviously still quite confused. "Can I ask why you're here?"

Sehun sighed internally. He wasn't quite sure himself. "Your father organized it"

"My father and your father organized this?"

Sehun blinked slowly. "Hm, yeah. Something like that. I didn't know about it till about 5 minutes ago. They sent me here"

Jongin's confusion seemed cleared up and he stared at Sehun, taking him in as if he were trying to figure out what kind of person he was. He finally looked up, his eyes meeting Sehun's, before smiling slightly.

"Well, seeing as you're here you may as well come in and take a seat. You can grab the chair at my desk and pull it up" Jongin smiled, and Sehun could see a touch of child like excitement in his eyes. Sehun felt his lips turn down for a few seconds, temporarily filled with pity towards the young man. From his reaction Sehun could tell that Jongin didn't get guests often, especially ones around his age. He was probably quite lonely.

Sehun blinked a few times, trying to clear his head. He smiled slightly at Jongin and nodded. "Okay"


Once Sehun was sitting comfortably after having picked up the chair and carrying it  over to Jongin's beside, he actually took the time to examine the young man lying propped up in the bed infront of him.

Jongin was good looking. Although he looked rather frail and sickly, Sehun could still tell that if he were to be in his prime, he would be strong and atheletic. His skin was somewhat washed out and pale, but Sehun was sure that in good health he would have warm olive skin. His hair was a mess of dark waves, his dark brown eyes like windows to his soul. The more Sehun looked, the surer he was that in different circumstances Jongin would be one of the popular and sporty guys that all schools seemed to have. He had the looks, and so far his personality had been pleasant.  

He watched as Jongin's full lips turned upward into a smile, revealing straight white teeth. "What are you looking at?"

Sehun blinked several times before shaking his head. "Nothing really. Just thinking"

Jongin made a sound of approval, almost like a hum. "How old are you?"

"17. I'll turn 18 in April next year" Sehun answered.

"Oh! That means I'm a bit older that you. I'll be 18 in January" Jongin paused for a moment. "So you're almost in your last year of school then... I'm envious" he chuckled slightly, but his expression was wistful. 

Sehun nodded. "Its not that great. I already know most of the things we get taught at school because of my private tutoring. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going" he bit his lip, stopping suddenly. He didn't want to sound conceited. 

But Jongin laughed. "You're lucky though. I'd like to go but whenever I ask I get told that its a bad idea. I haven't been to school regularily since I was 9"

"What do you do all day then?" Sehun blurted, tilting his head to the side,unable to stop himself from asking.

"I do do home schooling, and sometimes if I feel like I can manage it, I try to compose dances" Jongin smiled, ruffling his hair in embarrassment at the same time. "Thats only on a really good day though. Unfortunately for a majority of the time I just lie in bed. Most days I feel to crappy to do anything"

"Ah" Sehun didn't really know what to say. "You dance?"

Jongin nodded. "I used to be pretty good, at least for my age. I don't think I could even manage to keep up with a class of beginners these days though. Even when my condition started to deteriorate I kept going to dance class. My dad kept making me quit all the things I enjoyed, he wouldnt even let me go out to walk the dogs because he was too worried. I was frustrated and so I kept lying and telling him I was fine so he'd let me go"

"I guess you got caught, huh" 

Jongin chuckled. "Yeah. It was pretty awful. I managed to keep it up until I was about 10 I think, but then one day in class I collapsed. Dad was furious. When I think about it now it was actually pretty crazy that he even let me continue with dance for as long as he did. Maybe it was out of guilt for stopping me from doing all the other things I wanted. Anyway, after that there was no more dance for me"

Sehun felt his lips turn down. "Thats a real shame" 

"I guess it can't be helped. Thanks to my poor health I've had to give up on lots of things I've wanted to try. I'm just hoping some day I'll be able to leave this damn house freely and have fun, like a normal person"

Sehun felt pity consume him again. All the simple things he took for granted were things Jongin was unable to do. 

"Anyway, enough about me. Do you have any hobbies?"

"Uh. I play the piano? I guess?" Sehun cringed mentally at how dumb he must have sounded.

"Are you good?"

Sehun nodded. "Yeah, I've been playing for a while so its expected I guess"

It was at that moment that Sehun's mobile alerted him of a new message, and he looked down, reading it. "Looks like I need to get going" Sehun stood up.

Jongin smiled. " It was nice talking to you" he paused for a moment. "Do you think you'll be coming back?"

Sehun frowned. "I don't know, I'm sorry" He lifted up the chair and carried it back to the desk before walking over to the door, opening it. "It was nice meeting you" Sehun said, nodding towards Jongin who was still sitting up in bed, his back resting on the pillows behind him. 

"Bye Sehun" he heard Jongin say softly as he closed the door.

Sehun closed his eyes briefly, trying to regain his composure. It was all too familiar and it hurt. He couldn't get the image of Jongin out of his head. It was like seeing his mother ill again, wasting away. But his time he wasn't a 10 year old child who was cluless and naive and believed everything would be okay. 


'I don't want to go back'