Gusts of cold wind blew steadily into Rainie’s face like never-ending punches. They tinted her cheeks red and tossed her hair askew. Pulling her thin scarf over , she walked faster towards her destination. Home. Or the place society usually referred to as where she had grown up. Her jacket, which Sungjae had bought for her years ago, provided the bare minimum of protection against the frigid weather. Rubbing her hands together, she tried to avoid staring at the blisters that coated her palms, reminiscent of a long day of cleaning.  

Crossing the threshold of the main entrance to their apartment building, she stuffed her keys into her pocket and began climbing the nine flights of stairs. There was an elevator, but she found that walking helped her clear her thoughts. Her father didn’t like it when she came home unhappy. It annoyed him.

The door creaked quietly when Rainie slid it open, not wanting to call attention to herself. As if she really needed to; no one paid attention to her anyways. A stray hanger lay on the shelf in front of her, which she used to hang up her coat. She placed her shoes underneath the shoe rack and stood up, face to face with a large picture of Sungjae and her parents. They had their arms around him and he had his stage attire on. If you looked closely, you could see the edge of her coat, barely showing off to the corner of the photo. Her mother had told her to move aside for the picture, but the camera timer had gone off early.

Rainie began padding her way to the kitchen, which was bustling with noise. Pots and pans continuously banged against the counters as Rainie’s mother ran around feverishly. The smell of delicious dishes filled the room and Rainie’s stomach growled loudly.

“Oh, you’re here. Quick, put these dishes on the table.” the older woman called out, ing a hot bowl of soup and a plate of beautifully arranged chicken at Rainie.

Walking to the dinner table, she saw several different dishes already placed upon it. There were three bowls of rice, three pairs of chopsticks, and three glasses set out as well. Knowing what that meant, she sighed and walked back to the kitchen.

Rainie’s mother looked up at her from her cutting board and sighed as well. “Our home will be very crowded soon. You’ll have to go somewhere else tonight.” Her eyes wavered for a second on a Rainie’s face before focusing back on the meat she was chopping into bits. Neither of them spoke for a few moments, and all that could be heard was the steady tapping of the knife against the wooden board and the hissing of the pot on the stove.

As was routine, Rainie nodded and slipped out of the room to her bedroom. Setting her backpack down on the ground, she looked into the mirror beside her. Dirt coated the left side of her face and she raised a sore hand to rub it away. Her efforts only made the smear larger. Pulling off her bleach-stained pants, she slid another pair on. This one had holes all over it and she cringed at the thought of the wind piercing through. The door closed soundlessly behind her as she walked down the hallway to grab her jacket and shoes. They were still cold when she slipped them back on and left the building.

“Ah, back again dear?” said Jun Pyo as Rainie slid into the corner seat of his restaurant.

 Jun Pyo was a short, elderly gentleman, with two grown daughters who already had families of their own. He and his wife now lived alone in an apartment above their restaurant, which sold all sorts of food ranging from elaborate Western meals to sweet local treats. Their restaurant was quite popular; people came for the delicious food and the good service.

“Neh, Papa.” Rainie replied with a small smile.

Papa was the name Jun Pyo had asked her to call him since they first met, which had been several years ago, back when she was still in elementary school. It made sense to call him it, he did own a Western restaurant after all.

Papa smiled and turned towards the kitchen, already knowing what she would want. She always ate the same thing. Her brother did as well; they used to always order the same thing, and eventually he just made one large serving and gave them two plates to share it. It had been a while since they had both come together though.

The chimes next to the door jingled merrily as a group of good-looking boys walked into the restaurant. There were 6 of them and they all looked about Rainie’s age. They looked mildly familiar to her, but then again, she could just be imagining things. As they walked further into the restaurant, following Papa to their table, the one in the back of the group turned and looked straight at her. Seeing her staring at him, he smiled gently. Rainie blushed bright red before quickly looking back down to her food. She put her hands on her cheeks and could feel them heating up.

Not able to stop herself, she glanced up again and saw that Papa had already seated the boys, who were busy looking through the menu.

“Ah, I want a shicken sandawichu.” the one closest to the wall facing her direction announced.

He had eyes that pinched together whenever he smiled, which he was currently doing at the boy next to him. Examining his neighbor, Rainie saw that it was the boy who had smiled at her.

“Chi-cken sand-wich, Hyungsik, not shicken sandawichu.” he corrected the squinty-eyed boy.

“Chicken sandawichu.” Hyungsik replied, looking at the boy expectantly.

 “Better.” the boy laughed, patting Hyungsik on the back. Hyungsik puffed out his chest and looked extremely proud of himself.

“He is getting better, you should have heard him the other day, Peniel.” the boy across from them said, playfully poking Hyungsik with the menu in his hand. “He said, “Herro, I am hot man Hyungsik. Bathroom know?” to the security guard at that museum in New York.”

Peniel, who Rainie couldn’t stop staring at, burst out laughing. Having taken English for several years at school, Rainie couldn’t help but giggle at Hyungsik’s mistakes too. When Pappa walked over to take their orders, Rainie turned back to her food, a smile still on her face.

“I haven’t seen you smile like that for a long time, Rainie.” someone said next to her moments later. She looked up to see Papa holding out a small box of chocolates. “These came in yesterday, I thought you might like them.”

“Thank you Papa.” she replied, accepting the candy. From behind him she could hear Hyungsik talking loudly.

“How come Sungjae gets to go home and eat his mom’s food and we’re stuck eating out by ourselves? I miss my mom too!” he complained.

Sungjae? He couldn’t be talking about her brother, could he?

“I see you’ve noticed BTOB.” Papa smiled, looking towards where Rainie was staring.

“B-B-BTOB?” she stuttered hesitantly.

“I would have been surprised if you hadn’t, all the other girls here can’t stop drooling.” Papa chuckled, leaving her to go take another table’s order.

That’s why those boys had seemed so familiar; they were Sungjae’s bandmates. A sweep of the room showed several groups of girls busy taking photos and making googly-eyes at BTOB. A large crowd of fans had also crowded in front of the shop window, making Rainie feel like an animal in a zoo.

Glancing back at the idols, Rainie caught Peniel’s eye. He gave her a sorry look, which she returned, shrugging her shoulders. It all made sense, this was the Peniel that Sungjae was best friends with.

She had never seen BTOB in person before; Rainie’s parents had always made her drive them down to their concerts, then pick them up afterwards, never allowing her to actually attend. Their excuse was always the same; they had forgotten to buy her tickets and couldn’t sneak her in. She knew the real reason was because they didn’t want to “waste their money” on useless things, like her.

Papa walked over, carrying an apron on his arm. “Rainie, if you’re done eating can you help wait on tables? We’re short on staff.” he asked, his voice sounding a bit strained.

“Sure.” she replied, slipping the apron on and moving to clean up her dishes. “Which tables do you want me to do?”

“The three over in that corner need their food delivered.” Papa pointed towards the opposite side of the room, where BTOB was sitting.

Nodding, Rainie hurried over to the swinging kitchen doors with her dirty dishes clutched in her hands. She placed them in the sink and turned towards the counter, where dishes had been set out under their corresponding table numbers. Grabbing the two plates closest to her, she carried them out to the waiting customers.

“Chicken and rice wrap?” she asked, holding out the plate.

“That would be mine, thanks.” a middle-aged woman replied, taking it from her.

After doing the same for the other table, the truth dawned on her. She would have to deliver BTOB’s food next. Dang it, why couldn’t she have gotten a different table? Rainie’s stomach filled with flying butterflies as she approached them. It wasn’t that she was nervous to talk to them, it was more that she was scared of what the fangirls around her would do. 

“Yay! Food’s here!” the boy who had been talking with Peniel and Hyungsik earlier exclaimed.

Rainie silently placed the food on the table and bowed to leave. She felt a hand touch her arm.

“Weren’t you just sitting over there earlier?” a voice asked her. Looking up, she realized that Peniel had just spoken to her. His hand felt warm against her clothed skin.  

“They needed more staff; it’s a bit crowded in here today.” she answered, moving slightly so that Peniel removed his hand. She could feel the anger building up in the girls behind her. “We don’t usually have idols eating here.”

“I’m sorry if our fans were disturbing you.” he replied, looking past her at the girls who were shooting daggers through their eyes.

“It’s alright –“ she began, before she was interrupted by Peniel’s vibrating phone. Her brother’s face appeared on the screen, requesting a Facetime session. Peniel answered the call with a smile and began talking animatedly.

“Can I have a straw, please?” Hyungsik asked politely, smiling at her.

“Here.” Rainie handed him a straw from her apron pocket, leaning forward slightly to reach him.

“Rainie?” she heard a quiet voice call out. Turning, she looked at Peniel, who was looking back and forth from Sungjae on his phone to her.

“Hey.” she replied, straightening up and tucking a loose hair behind her ear.

Sungjae grinned and started waving at her. “How have you been?”

“The same as I’ve always been.” Her answer came out harsher than she had intended.

“Why aren’t you home right now?” he asked, pouting. “I miss you.”

“I’m not welcome there.” Rainie replied, her voice short and unfeeling.

“I really want to see you.” he cried back. The rest of BTOB was staring, mystified, at Rainie as she started to turn away.

“If you really wanted to talk to me, you know who you could have asked.” From the look on Sungjae’s face, he did.