The sun was shining brightly, an ironic sign, through the window behind Rainie. She moved towards it, peering out at the world that made no sense to her. How could the sun give off so much light, when her heart had already turned into an endless black hole? Snow covered the ground in thick blankets, and the small people dashing towards their own destinations reminded her only of how little of an impact she made in the world. Turning away, she walked towards her backpack, ping it and pulling out a black book. Sitting down on her small bed, she traced a finger over the slightly raised letters on the cover. Seoul High School Photo Book. She flipped open the book and started searching. Grade 11. Smiling faces stared up at her, taunting her, mocking her. Turning the pages, she looked for her own name, but found nothing. The photo committee had forgotten about her again.

Earlier that day, she had been walking down the hallway with her books clutched close to her chest, her head never tilting up to look at the faces she passed. People had slammed into Rainie, laughing at her awkward and weak posture.

“Did you hear, BTOB’s going to perform here next week!” she heard a girl squeal as she sat down in her seat at the back of the classroom.

“Oh my gosh, Sungjae-Oppa’s coming! He’s so hot, I could die!” her best friend shrieked back, grabbing her friend’s hands and swaying back and forth.

Rainie began flipping through the pages of her textbook, trying to tune out their conversation. A boy walked past, purposely slamming into her and knocking her book to the ground with a smirk. The crash of the heavy bound paper on the floor attracted the attention of the girls.

“Do you mind!? “the first girl yelled. She picked up the book with a look of disgust on her face and threw it Rainie, hitting her square in the stomach.

Out of breath, Rainie quietly placed the book back on her desk, her composed face concealing the anger and turmoil boiling inside her. The second girl, wanting to show up her friend, stood up and grabbed the open book with a snicker. By now the whole class was watching with amusement upon their faces, anticipating her next move. Holding the book up in the air, she slowly tore the open page out, along with several of the pages behind it. Dropping the book on the ground, she proceeded in tearing the pages into smaller and smaller bits, making sure to sprinkle the mess on Rainie’s desk.

As the bell rang to signal the start of the lunch period, Rainie walked into the cafeteria searching for a place to sit. Everyone around her sat with their friends, chatting happily. In the corner closest to the wide windows to the courtyard, there were a few open seats. Walking quickly over, Rainie approached the girls sitting there.

“Can I sit here?” she asked quietly, adjusting the glasses on her face.

“Uh, no?” answered the head of the group, clearly wondering how Rainie thought she had even the faintest right to sit next to them. Pulling the empty chairs toward them, the rest of the girls turned their heads away from Rainie, shunning her.

“Urgh, I can’t believe she wanted to sit with us. What would people think if she sat here, Minah?” asked one of the girls, looking at their leader. Minah dabbed with a napkin, rolling her eyes.   

“Just forget her, things like that don’t deserve any attention.” she replied, not caring that Rainie was close enough to hear.

Rainie walked away, feeling extremely hurt, but blaming herself for falling for the lure of friendship again. Left and right, people turned away from her as she approached. Opening her lunch box, she pulled out a picture. How many times had people pretended to be her friend, only to trick her into being the object of endless bullying? Deciding to eat in the bathroom alone, she dragged herself towards the doors, which she opened and closed silently. If anyone had stopped to pay attention, they would have seen a photo float down behind her, the smiling face of Minah carelessly torn away from the person she had her arm around.

“Rainie, don’t cry, you’re going to be alright.” the boy said, using his finger to wipe away her tears.

“O-oppa, it hurts.” she answered, gritting her teeth to ease the pain. Blood flowed from a deep wound in her leg.

Sungjae shifted her weight in his arms and sped up, running towards the hospital. Upon arriving, the nurses and staff there immediately carried the bleeding girl into the emergency room. Sungjae walked quickly towards the front desk, worry across his face.

“What’s your relationship with that girl?” the receptionist asked in a sympathetic tone.

“She’s my sister.”

Rainie gasped, sitting up straight in her bed. That dream of a memory had been haunting her for weeks and it bothered her immensely. This innocent, caring version of Sungjae had disappeared along with the spring rain, washing away anything left in her heart.