a/n: Omg halp I’m so sorry I don’t know what this is I did a thing ㅠㅜ it is 5:43 in the morning and this exobap has just been brewing in my mind for the longest time and I just… this dribble happened. It’s so hard trying to keep tabs of so many different characters and I don’t know what I was thinking and you are forewarned this is absolute word vomit right here. Anyone willing to make suggestions or help me correct this monstrosity please don’t hesitate TuT

--

It’s really not easy being a parent. Especially when you have ten young, rambunctious, and sometimes overly energetic boys to look after. Parenthood is a full-time job on top of the job that you already have, and sometimes you just need a break. This is why Kris and Junmyeon decide to invite their friends Yongguk and Himchan to bring their kids over, call up some babysitters (plural because one is just not enough), and go out on a double date night of dinner and bowling.

Kris is finishing up with his skin care routine when he hears Junmyeon call from downstairs, “I think they’re here, Kris, please hurry up.”

“Okay, okay, I’m finished.” Kris checks his hair in their vanity mirror one last time and heads downstairs, fixing his shirt. Along the way he manages to pick up a little hitchhiker, Zitao, who clings to his leg as Kris thumps down the stairs.

Junmyeon opens the door as the doorbell goes off and welcomes Himchan inside as he carries his youngest baby Junhong in his left arm and holds onto Jongup’s hand with his right. Yongguk hurries in right after, arms full of diaper bags and things the kids might need, while ushering in Daehyun and Youngjae who are squabbling over who would have the last piece of m&m.

“Here, let me,” Junmyeon helps Yongguk with the bags and leads him into the den, “you can put them here.”

“It’s mine!”

“No, it’s mine!”

“You ate the last one!”

“So? I let you have the last piece of cake yesterday!” Youngjae argues, poking Daehyun in the chest.

“That’s yesterday, this is today! It’s different!” Daehyun fights back, sticking out his tongue.

“Not fair! Cake is way bigger than chocolate!”

“That’s enough,” Himchan orders the pair while setting Junhong down into the twin baby swing next to Sehun, “If you don’t stop arguing right now, you two are not going to the playground tomorrow with your brothers.”

“No wait!” Daehyun immediately stops himself from shoving Youngjae onto the floor and making his brother relinquish his hold of the candy by force. Instead, Daehyun opts for swinging his arms around like a windmill to put some dramatic effect into his words and stop his daddy from punishing them further. “Yeah! Sorry! We’ll be good, we promise!” Youngjae s out his hand with the last, melted, m&m at Daehyun to prove that he can be a good boy. “You can have it.” Daehyun promptly the chocolate out of Youngjae’s hand. “Ewww gross.”

Yongguk reappears with a sigh, “how do you do that? I can never get them to stop once they start.”

Youngjae gives Daehyun one last withering glare, then takes off into the house to find Kyungsoo so that they can continue to plan out their world domination with an army of penguins while Daehyun heads straight toward the living room to see what is on TV.

Kris reaches the bottom landing, dragging Zitao along while the child still hangs on to his leg. “That’s what I ask Junmyeon every day. He can somehow stop Baekhyun and Chanyeol from starting World War 3 without even breaking a sweat. There must be a class on Effective Ways to Bribe Children somewhere,” says Kris while Zitao finally peels himself off from his father’s leg and walks over to Jongup. “Wanna go play with Heechul?” Zitao asks him. “Okay!” Jongup cheerfully replies with his ever present smile, and the two take off in search of the family cat.

Junmyeon comes back from the den and wraps an arm lightly around Kris’s waist “It’s not bribing, you dolt. It’s called effective reasoning. And it doesn’t just work on just kids, it works on adults too.” Kris frowns, “I am not a dolt, and I tried reasoning with them and it never works.” Junmyeon smiles affectionately. He glances at his watch and is about to say that it is almost 5:30 and the girls should be hear any minute when they hear a knock on the door. Kris reaches an arm out and opens it.

“Sup Uncle Kris!” Amber walks in, hauling Krystal in behind her, “you owe me big time.” “Hey Mr. Wu,” greets Krystal.

“Yeah, yeah,” grunts Kris, “you have my thanks and undying gratitude. Hi Krystal.”

Eight more girls file in after Amber, each calling out their greetings to the adults.

“Ha, ha, ha, you are so hilarious,” Amber deadpans, punching Kris on the arm, while Krystal takes her moment of freedom to escape into the living room.

“I thought it was gonna be six of you?” Kris raises an eyebrow at Amber after the rest of the girls parade into the living room. “Victoria, Hyosung, and Luna were supposed to have dance practice but it got cancelled so they decided to grace us with their presence,” Amber replies. “Oh, okay, well I guess that’s cool then. More help for you,” Kris shrugs.

“Okay then,” says Junmyeon, glancing at his watch. “We’ll be heading out now. The kids are all fed and washed so that shouldn’t be a problem. Just let them play a little and make sure they are in bed by 9. We’ll be back by 12 so you’ll have a few hours of down time to just hang out. Shouldn’t be too difficult.” Junmyeon, arm still wrapped around Kris’s waist, heads toward the door. “Sure no prob,” Amber replies, “I watched them before. Nothing I can’t handle. I think.”

Himchan shouts into the house, “Bye kids! Daddy will be home soon! I love you! Behave!” and grabs hold of Yongguk’s hand and leads him around the other couple and out the door.

“Alright then,” Kris sighs dramatically, “I’m leaving the fate of my house into your hands.”

“Bye,” Amber shoves at Kris’s back and pushes him out the door. The adults head for their car and Amber closes the door, then heads for the living room after the girls.

Sulli and Krystal are sitting in front of Junhong and Sehun and lightly pushing their swings, cooing at the two babies. Yixing toddles into the room and plops himself down on Sulli’s lap next to his baby brother Sehun, wiggling his little fingers in front of Sehun’s face. Sehun grabs a hold of his brother’s finger and lightly latches onto it with his newly coming teeth. Victoria, Sunhwa and Hana have taken over the couch, Daehyun bouncing on Victoria’s lap, watching a rerun of Spongebob.

Hyosung, Luna and Jieun look up from the floor when Amber walks in and Hyosung asks, “so, what should we do now?” “Dunno,” Amber shrugs, “Uncle said we can order a pizza since we didn’t eat yet. Why don’t we grub first?”

--

Upstairs in one of the bedrooms, Minseok and Luhan are trying to persuade Zitao and Jongup that it would be so much fun and so cool to rescue Heechul from the tree outside. It would be like going on an adventure into mystical lands unknown! The two youngers had tracked down the cat and were happily playing with Heechul in one of the rooms when Minseok and Luhan, trying to scare the younger boys, jumped through the door with a “BOO!” effectively frightening and annoying the cat, which caused him to catapult himself out the window to hide in the branches of the tree in their backyard.

“You can be like a super hero and save him!” Luhan swings his arms up like he is presenting the two boys with the best idea in the world. “Yeah!” Minseok adds, “look how scared Heechul looks. He needs you to save him!” Zitao furrows his eyebrows and looks up at his hyungs, trying to weigh the pros and cons of going through with this plan. In his four year old mind, being a super hero is actually pretty damn cool, but he is actually pretty damn scared of heights too, and therein lies the conflict of interests. “Come on~,” Luhan shoulders Zitao lightly, “you can do it! Minseok hyung and I will go outside and stand right under to catch you if you fall!”

Zitao glances at Jongup sitting on the floor with his weight leaned back on his hands, legs outstretched. Jongup smiles up at his friend and shrugs. He doesn’t really care much for being a hero or anything like that, but hyungs are ten and they have lived a long time and they have experienced more fun than he ever has and they say it’ll be fun and Jongup is down for anything that is fun. “Okay…” Zitao says slowly, chewing on his lower lip, eyebrows still furrowed. “Yay!” Luhan shouts, punching both fists into the air. “This is going to be so much fun! Come on Minseok!” He shoves Minseok out the door, “let’s go to the backyard! Go, go, go! Maybe we can bunch up a lot of leaves under the tree in case they fall!”

Zitao listens as two pairs of stomping footsteps get farther and farther away from the room. Jongup  gets up from his position on the floor and climbs up the bed and looks out the window. Luhan and Minseok had pushed the already broken screen through and the screen is now lying on the lawn outside. Zitao follows suit and stands next Jongup and stares out over the window sill. “I dunno,” Zitao whispers, “it looks scary down there.” Jongup smiles at Zitao and grasps the window ledge and pushes himself up onto the ledge, “it’s gonna be okay. Hyung said it’ll be fun!”

--

Behind the kitchen island, Youngjae and Kyungsoo sit on the floor with their heads pressed close together.

“Scalpel,” Kyungsoo says. “Scalpel,” Youngjae repeats and hands him a spoon. Kyungsoo then proceeds to dig out some of the insides of the baked potato they currently have lying on the floor.

“Blood,” Kyungsoo calls this time. “Blood,” Youngjae responds, and hands him a McDonald’s ketchup packet. Kyungsoo peels open the packet of ketchup and squeezes it into the hole he dug out in the potato.

“Heart,” calls Kyungsoo. “Heart,” repeats Youngjae again and hands him a broccoli, and Kyungsoo delicately pushes the broccoli inside the potato.

“Foil,” Kyungsoo reaches his hand out next to him and Youngjae hands him the aluminum wrap, “foil.” Kyungsoo places the aluminum on the floor and gingerly places the potato on top, then wraps the aluminum around the potato. “It is time,” Kyungsoo says solemnly. “Nurse Youngjae, please open the crypt.”

“Yes Doctor Kyungsoo,” Youngjae responds and scrambles up and runs to the microwave and punches it open. “If we do this right, the lightening should start the heart and Frankentater should come to life!”

“Yes that is correct,” Kyungsoo gets up slowly with both hands cradling the potato. The sound of feet makes Kyungsoo glance out into the hallway connecting the kitchen to the dining room as Minseok and Luhan zoom through, heading out the door to the backyard. Kyungsoo doesn’t even spare them a second glance as he walks over to Youngjae next to the microwave.

--

Elsewhere in the house, Chanyeol and Baekhyun use their powers of deduction and decide that four months is way too long and they want Christmas to come early, and Christmas means snow, and snow means sledding, and sledding means tying blankets and pillows to jonghyun, their Labrador, and sliding down the stairs. So Chanyeol and Baekhyun hunt out all the pillows and blankets they can find and recruit Jongdae and send him out to find Jonghyun while they stuff the pillows into the blankets and tie the blankets together so that they can attach the makeshift fluffy sled onto Jonghyun the red nose reindeer.

Baekhyun finishes tying up the last of the blankets over the pillows when Jongdae returns with the disgruntled Lab. And no wonder he is disgruntled. Jongdae has somehow managed to tape a red fluffball cut off from one of Junmyeon’s holiday beanies onto the dog’s nose and fasten his old Comfy Cone E-Collar on so that the dog can’t paw the offensive piece of material off his nose.

“Operation Christmas!” Chanyeol crows, clapping his hands happily, jumping up and down. “Hey, come here and help me tie this” Chanyeol joins Baekhyun and helps him attach the makeshift sleigh to Jonghyun with jump rope while Jongdae holds the dog in place.

--

It is now 5: 43 and everything is very silent around the house.

Amber has just finished placing their order for pizza and is about to sit on the floor next to Luna when they hear the sound of an explosion coming from the kitchen, followed by the smell of smoke. Startled, Amber shouts, “what the heck? You guys stay here. I’ll be right back!” and runs into the kitchen to find Kyungsoo running around in circles around the kitchen island shouting at the top of his lungs “IT’S ALIVE” while Youngjae stands off to the side, leaning back and cackling with his hands shaped like claws.

“Muhahahahaha!”

Amber looks over to the source of the smoke and groans, “Oh my God.” She runs over to the microwave and as soon as she opens it up, a large black cloud billows out from inside. The acrid stench of burnt something permeates the kitchen. Amber quickly opens a window and grabs a dish towel and tries to fan out the smoke. Luna and Hyosung enter the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about.

“Do you need help?” Luna asks, and Amber replies, “Oh my God, take the kids out of here please. This can’t be safe,” still fanning the air with one hand and covering her nose with the other. “I’ll take em.” Hyosung grabs hold of Kyungsoo by cutting him off on one of his circuits around the kitchen island and takes Youngjae by the hand and drags the two children into the living room.

“Here, I’ll help,” Luna offers, grabbing a newspaper lying on the counter, and helps Amber fan out the smoke. The smoke has almost finished airing out and Luna giggles and is about to tell Amber a story about how when she was little, she had tried to make ramyun noodles in the microwave without water and almost burned the house down, “I just remembered, one time when I was little, I…,” when they hear Victoria shouting “NO, NO, STOP!” and barks and screams and crashes and giggles from the living room.

“For chrissake what now?” Amber shouts exasperatedly, throwing her hands into the air. She tosses her towel onto the counter and runs into the living room.

--

Chanyeol, Jongdae, and Baekhyun cling to the blanket for dear life as Jonghyun drags the three children down the stairs and races into the living room. The boys’ teeth clack as they rattle down the staircase and with a loud “oomph!” they hit ground floor. Jongdae yells “MUSH!” and shakes at the jump rope and Jonghyun continues to drag the boys past the living room and turns the corner into the hallway, knocking over the small drawer with the telephone on top, and Chanyeol gets jolted off and rolls some way down the hall before coming to a halt. Jonghyun leaves Chanyeol behind like nothing happened and continues to race throughout the house. Chanyeol crawls up on all fours and shakes his little head of curls and tries to reorient himself. That was actually not as smooth-going as he had thought. After regaining his footing, he runs off after Baekhyun and Jongdae, shouting “WOO CHRISTMAS!” with his fists in the air.

When Amber reenters the living room, she sees Hyosung still clutching Youngjae and Kyungsoo who are now jumping up and down shouting with excitement at the scene that had just occurred, “oh my goodness, please, just stay. Put. For. The. Love. Of.” Hana is chasing after a screaming and giggling Chanyeol, who is still trying to chase after Baekhyun and Jongdae, who are still clutching onto Jonghyun, who doesn’t seem like he will be stopping any time soon. Victoria and Sunhwa are now chasing after the dog still running down the hallway towards the dining room. Jonghyun drags Baekhyun and Jongdae around and around the dining room table, knocking over chairs left and right, with Victoria and Sunhwa still trying to catch the dog and avoid the fallen chairs at the same time.

“You go around to the left and I’ll go to the right!” Victoria commands and Sunhwa nods “okay let’s do this,” and moves to the left side of the table to try to corner the running dog.

Hana finally catches up to Chanyeol and grabs him by the waist and secures him under one arm and takes him back to the living room. Chanyeol is now kicking and squirming “Let me go! Let me go! No!” Hana sets him down still holding onto his arms and takes out a packet of fruit snacks from her pocket. “If you can sit nicely I’ll give you candy,” Hana sings. Chanyeol promptly stops his tantrum and sits down next to Yixing, who is currently wondering how he is related to these people. Chanyeol then sticks out his hand at Hana and she gives him a strawberry fruit snack. Chanyeol pops the sweet into his mouth and giggles in delight. Junhong leans over Sehun and places his chubby fingers into Chanyeol’s curly mop and squiggles his fingers and pets his hair and gently yanks at a few strands.

“I want one!” Youngjae shouts. “I want one too!” Kyungsoo seconds. “Okay, okay,” Hana says, “but only if you guys can sit here quietly and behave. Promise!” Youngjae and Kyungsoo nod vigorgously and Hyosung finally lets them go. Hana hands them each a sweet. Luna returns from the kitchen and plops down next to Hyosung and leans her head onto Hyosung’s shoulder and moans, “why did dance practice have to be cancelled?”

Just as Amber is about to turn back around and search for Victoria, Sunhwa, and the jingle madness children, a flash of two dark heads and a whole lot of skin rush past her shouting “FREEDOM!” and run up the stairs. Amber closes her eyes slowly and takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Nope. No. No. Nope this is not happnening.”

--

“Oh my God, Krystal, help me!” Amber is struggling to pin down a flailing Jongin and Daehyun onto the floor. A very Jongin and Daehyun, to be exact. Some time in between the Spongebob episode of “F is for friends who do stuff together” and an All State Insurance commercial, Daehyun had gotten bored with TV and left the living room in search of more interesting things to do. Daehyun found Jongin in the upstairs bathroom with the lights turned off and Jongin told Daehyun scary stories and convinced him that his clothes were haunted and trying to attack him and the two decided to wage war against the evil clothes sprites and promptly stripped themselves and tossed their clothes into the toilet.

Krystal flips her hair over her shoulder and grabs Daehyun from underneath Amber and the two girls attempt to clothe the four year olds.

“NO!” Daehyun screams while Krystal tries to shove his foot through a shirt sleeve. “It’s going to eat us!” Krystal had grabbed an extra pair of emergency clothing from the bag Yongguk had brought on her way up the stairs after Amber. Amber isn’t quite sure what to do about the now soiled clothes that are still floating in the toilet.

Jongin, too, is struggling and flailing his limbs as Amber attempts to put his underwear on. “Ouch it’s strangling me! Ow! No! I don’t want to die!” Jongin continues to flail his limbs and tries to push himself up off the ground.

“This is all your fault,” Krystal blames through gritted teeth. “I told you I didn’t want to” huff “babysit, but no you said, its” huff “gonna be fun you said.” Amber gives her a pleading look. “Can we not do this right now? Please? You can say I told you so later after we get. These. Damn. Clothes. On.” Amber manages to shove one of Jongin’s legs into a pant leg. “I said I’m sorry, ow you little brat, life time of servitude okay? Just help me! Stay put Jongin, or I swear!” Both boys gasp and stop struggling for a second to say “Ooooh you said SWEAR!” Krystal and Amber take this moment of weakness and opportunity to shove a limb into its respective sleeve.

With fifteen minutes of struggle and misplaced limbs and confusion of clothing articles, Krystal and Amber finally finish dressing the boys when the doorbell goes off. “Must be the pizza,” Amber sighs, and heads downstairs with Krystal and the two now fully clothed and fully disgruntled boys.

--

Victoria and Sunhwa have now circled the front and backyard 5 times, still running after Jongdae and Baekhyun, who continue to cling to the running dog. They are all now in the front yard and Jonghyun is making a dash back towards the side of the house, where a path connects the front yard to the backyard, when the blankets catch on a tree root, and with a loud ripping noise, the blanket erupts in a cloud of downy feathers, and Baekhyun and Jongdae tumble off into a heap on the grass. Jonghyun finally breaks free and spins on his heel and runs toward the backyard to hide inside his dog house.

Victoria runs over to the boys who are still giggling in a heap on the floor and Sunhwa just stands frozen to the spot. “I am not cleaning this mess,” she declares, folding her arms and frowning. Victoria sighs and picks up a laughing Jongdae and turns to Sunhwa. “Let’s just get them inside first, okay? We’ll think of something.” Sunhwa also sighs and goes to fetch a spazzing Baekhyun.

Amber has just paid the pizza boy and he is heading back into his car, giving Victoria and Sunhwa a strange look, as they take the boys inside through the now open front door, where Amber is waiting, holding onto three pans of pizza.

They all troop into the living room and Amber places the pizza onto the coffee table while Victoria and Sunhwa place Baekhyun and Jongdae down next to Chanyeol. Sulli is changing Junhong’s diaper on the couch and Baekhyun and Jongdae are about to regale Chanyeol with their epic tale of Christmas adventure and magic when Luhan and Minseok come screaming down the hall and into the living room. Minseok crashes into Luhan, who was slightly ahead, and both boys tumble to the floor. Yixing just places a hand over his eyes and wonders if these two boys are really his hyungs. The two boys clamber up and are jumping up and down screaming and shouting over each other so loudly that nothing intelligible can be heard.

“QUIET!” Jieun shouts with her hands over her ears. Luhan and Minseok are startled into silence and stare at Jieun with wide eyes. Even her friends stare at Jieun in wonder because this is Jieun we are talking about. The girl never even so much as raises her voice, ever. “Okay, now, quietly. And slowly. Tell us. What are you trying to say?” Jieun asks calmly, lowering her hands from her ears. Minseok is about to start talking, “Zita-“ when Luhan shoves him aside and shouts all in one breath “Taozi and Jongup were playing with Heechul and me and Minseok wanted to scare them and so we snuck up and said BOO and Heechul got scared and flew out the window and then me and Minseok said they could be super heroes if they save Heechul and so Taozi and Jongup went to save Heechul but Heechul just went back into the room so they didn’t need to save Heechul because Heechul doesn’t need saving but now Taozi and Jongup can’t get back inside and now they’re stuck in the tree!” Luhan manages to say all of this very quickly, face turning extremely red from lack of air, all the while pointing towards the backyard, jumping from foot to foot.

“What?” Jieun stares blankly at Luhan.

Luhan huffs in annoyance and grabs a hold of Jieun’s hand and proceeds to drag her down the hall and into the kitchen and out the back door. He continues to point at the tree and stops right underneath and points up. Jieun cranes her neck back and looks up into the tree and feels her heart plummet all the way down near her feet. How did they even get up there?! Still clutching Luhan’s hand with her left and covering with the other, Jieun lets out a sort of strangled yelp.

Behind them, Amber, Luna, Sulli, and Minseok latched onto Sulli’s sweater, also run outside. Minseok is starting to feel slightly guilty because he and Luhan are the reasons that the dongsengs are up there in the first place. Minseok glances over at Luhan who is still jumping up and down, pointing. Amber gulps as she stares up into the tree. She is so dead if her uncle finds out. Many streams of thought pass through Amber’s mind as she contemplates a variety of different ways she could maybe fake her death and run away or somehow turn this around on Kris and say that he will be required to pay for her medical bills because, after this traumatic experience, she will definitely be needing psychiatry.

From what they can see from down there, Zitao is clutching onto the trunk, both arms and legs wrapped as much as it could around the tree, and Jongup is sitting next to Zitao rubbing his back soothingly. Sulli turns to Amber and says that the problem seems to be Zitao, that he is too scared to turn back and come back in through the window. “I’ll go upstairs and try to soothe him back inside. You stay down here, just in case,” Sulli tells Amber. Amber can only nod as Luna puts an arm around her shoulder reassuringly, “it’s gonna be okay.” Minseok states that he will come with her and follows Sulli back inside the house and up the stairs.

--

Everyone inside the house (minus Junhong, Sehun, and Victoria) join the others in the backyard and are now gathered around the tree shouting supportive words for Zitao’s comfort. It is now 2 minutes from 7 o’clock and the sun is starting to set. It will be dark soon, and Amber is still in a state of mental breakdown and clawing at her face, muttering to herself in a nonstop single breath, “Uncle Kris is going to kill me, oh my God, I am so dead, how did this even happen,” while furiously pacing a few steps away from her friends and family. Amber had wanted to call the police but Victoria convinced her that it would be in their better interest not to and just figure out how to get the child down on their own. Krystal gives her best friend a worrying glance but dares not come any closer lest Amber bulldozes her down in the middle of her mission to eat away a few layers of the earth with her stride.

Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Luhan, Jongdae, and Daehyun link hands and skip around the tree playing ring-a-round-the-rosie, but instead of singing the nursery rhyme, they chant “Zitao, Zitao, Zitao, Zitao” as a sort of mantra, each syllable matching with the rhythm of their skips. Jieun wants to make the children stop because the motion is making her more nauseous than she already feels, but she doesn’t even have the energy to attempt it and she is pretty sure this would only result in a struggle and she isn’t prepared for that.

Off to the side near Kris’s herb garden, Youngjae and Kyungsoo are digging in the gound looking for worms to fling at their brothers. Sunhwa, Hana, Luna, and Hyosung stand beneath the tree, just a few steps away from the hand-linked children still circling the tree and chanting Zitao’s name. The girls are shifting from foot to foot nervously, not knowing what to do, while Jongin hides behind Jonghyun’s doghouse, deep in contemplation.

--

Yixing follows Sulli and Minseok up the stairs and enters the bedroom. Yixing quickly hops up on the bed and joins Minseok next to the window. Minseok and Sulli are calling soft, soothing words to Zitao to coax him to ease his head up and open his eye, don’t look down, and crawl slowly back to the window. But Zitao has his eyes tightly screwed shut and has all but welded himself to the tree. “It’s okay Taozi, if you don’t look down it’ll just be like walking on the ground!” Minseok calls out through the window with what he thinks are comforting thoughts, but Zitao merely shakes his head even harder. Jongup is still sitting there rubbing soothing circles on Zitao’s back and staring back inside the house. This was not as fun as Luhan hyung said it would be.

Yixing hears his siblings and friends scream as Youngjae and Kyungsoo catapult them with earthworms. Thinking about Youngjae reminds him of the argument Youngjae had with Daehyun over candy and finds sudden inspiration. “If you come back I’ll give you chocolate,” Yixing says softly out the window. This time, Zitao doesn’t shake his head, but neither does he make any movement. Yixing takes that as a good sign. Sulli takes courage from Yixing’s words and adds on, “yeah! A treat! If you come back inside the house, everyone can get a little bit of ice cream and a movie before bed time!” Zitao is enticed and manages to slowly crack open one eye and Jongup continues to rub his back and says, “yeah lets go. I don’t like it out here anymore.” Zitao manages to glance at Jongup. “It’s okay, I’ll be right here,” Jongup smiles. Zitao takes a little bit of encouragement manages to nod his head. “Okay,” Jongup responds, then, turns around and crawls back towards the window, “we’ll go slowly.”

Zitao takes a deep breath. He tells himself not to look down and stares straight forward at the back of Jongup’s head. He can do this, it’s a cinch, piece of cake. He loosens his limbs, one at a time, and slowly turns around, grasping the branch with a death grip, one hand at a time. Then, still staring at the back of Jongup’s head, begins to crawl slowly forward. Okay, he thinks to himself, this is not that bad. If he can make it out here in the first place, he can make it back inside. Suddenly, one hand slips from the branch as he tries to find purchase and Zitao falls flat against the branch, clutching onto the tree for dear life. He hears screams from below and gets even more scared than before and is now frozen to the spot, unable to move.

Jongup has already reached the window but is about to turn around and crawl back out when Amber hurtles into the room like an angry bull, steam all but pouring out of her nostrils. As soon as she saw her little cousin lose his grasp, Amber had sprung into motion and ripped through the house, all the way upstairs, on autopilot. Sulli moves  Minseok, Yixing, and Jongup out of the way and Amber hurls half of her body out the window. Zitao has made enough movement back toward the window that Amber can stretch out her arm and grab Zitao by the scruff of his shirt and haul him back inside the house. Amber now has Zitao wrapped in her arms and Zitao is sobbing uncontrollably into Amber’s hoodie. “It’s okay, Taozi, everything’s gonna be fine,” Amber whispers, rocking Zitao back and forth. Jongup moves closer and holds onto Zitao’s hand while Minseok stands a few feet away, hanging his head, and manages to look shamefaced and apologizes to Zitao, who is still crying with no signs of stopping any time soon. Yixing scoots closer to his brother and gently pats him on the cheek. They hear the sound of cheers from outside the window and Sunhwa shout, “okay everyone! Shows over! Back inside the house, RIGHT NOW.”

--

After shuffling all the kids inside the house and Luna and Jieun chasing down a once again Jongin and shoving him back inside his clothing, everyone sits around the living room floor with blankets and pillows spread out everywhere, each with a bowl of vanilla ice cream and a small drizzle of chocolate syrup, with Cars 2 playing on the TV screen. Amber had wanted to yell and scream and discipline the boys that that was very dangerous and never to do it again and Amber still wants to yank her hair out, but all the physical and psychological exertion had just worn her out. She didn’t even have the heart to say anything to Luhan, who had burst into loud, echoing wails at the sight of his crying brother, because Zitao was still wrapped tightly to her chest, still sniffling his little nose. The movie finally ends and it is now 9:12 and all of the kids have fallen asleep. Amber turns the TV off and the girls collect all the bowls and spoons and head towards the kitchen. Amber leans against the counter next to Krystal, who is perched on top of the counter, while the others take seats around the dining table.

“So, I guess it’s clean up time for the big kids, huh?” Hyosung asks. Always the responsible one. Luna bangs her head against the dining table and groans. Amber glances apologetically at her friends. “Look, I’m sorry this happened, I swear! They’re not bad kids! Things have never gotten this out of control before…”

“Dude, it’s chill,” Krystal cuts her off and lightly punches Amber on the shoulder. “Yeah, relax,” Jieun adds, “you know, if we want to finish cleaning the house before the adults get back, we need to start now.”

Luna mumbles with her face still pressed against the table, “ugh, cleaning, why is life?” Sunhwa pats her on the shoulder sympathetically.

--

Two hours of scrubbing the microwave clean of the burnt, exploded mess and gathering up all the little feathers from the front lawn and picking up all the upturned furniture, and the girls are finally almost finished cleaning up the house. All the feathers have been stuffed into a trash bag, the clothing that had been unceremoniously dumped in the toilet have been fished out and washed and dried, and Frankentater has been properly disposed of. Hana is helping Amber finally fit the screen back into the window and that is the last of all the evidence of any disturbances that may have occurred within the household. After securing the window shut and Amber makes a mental note to nag at her uncle about the safety hazards of procrastinating to fix a broken window, both head back into the kitchen, where Victoria has just finished reheating their pizza and everyone sits around the dining table, waiting for the two to join them. The girls are all exhausted and can’t wait to finally enjoy their dinner.

“I am never having kids,” Krystal states out loud.

--

The clock strikes 12 and they hear the sound of keys jiggling outside. The door opens and Kris and Junmyeon enter the house first, followed by Himchan and Yongguk.

“How were the kids?” Junmyeon asks as he hangs his jacket on the back of a couch. “Fine, fine,” Amber replies tiredly, waving a hand, while walking over from the kitchen, “just a handful, but nothing unmanageable.” “That’s good,” Junmyeon smiles gratefully.

“Thank you so much for watching our babies,” Himchan pats Amber on the back and hands her an envelope. “Here’s your payment.”

“Thanks,” Amber takes the envelope and smiles, “it was no big deal. They were angels.” Kris also hands her an envelope and jokes, “don’t be greedy. Share equally with your friends.” Amber slaps him on the arm and laughs. The rest of the group slowly meanders back into the living room as well.

Yongguk flashes the girls his gummy smile and thanks them for their hard work and walks into the den to gather the kids’ belongings. With some help, Himchan and Yongguk manage to get the still knocked out children buckled into their family van and ready to go home. “Thanks again so much,” Yongguk repeats in appreciation with an arm around Himchan’s shoulder. They say their final farewells to Kris and Junmyeon, saying they should do it again sometime, and then turn around and get into their car and pull out the driveway.

“Need  help putting the kids back into their beds?” Amber asks her uncle, and Kris thinks about it for a second and glances at Junmyeon for a second and responds. “Nah, I think it should be okay for them to sleep in the living room for tonight. They just look so comfortable. Don’t wanna risk waking them.”  “Yeah,” Junmyeon says, “they should be fine for now.”

“Okay then, if you say so,” Amber shrugs, “Guess it’s time for us to head home too.”

“Hey, thanks again, Amber,” Kris says, patting his niece on the head, “much appreciation. And you girls too.” Amber swats his hand out of the way, grimacing. Kris laughs at her expression.

The girls respond that it was no problem, they were the best, so adorable, so sweet, and say their good nights and shuffle out the door and separate into Hyosung’s and Victoria’s cars. “Drive safe!” Kris calls and Junmyeon waves them off as the girls head back home. Kris closes and locks the door as Junmyeon walks back into living room and pulls Sehun out of the swing, who needs to be placed into his crib to sleep properly. Kris glances lovingly at his children, and lowers the light and follows Junmyeon and Sehun upstairs.

--

Next morning…

“Hey Kris? Why is Jonghyun wearing his Comfy Cone

a/n: omg why did i post this...