I've never want to be loved.

I never want to fall in love.

Nor can a person like me can fall in love with anyone.

Because on day, that person will gone.

I, who have carried this for 7 years now.

Until i got into my 3rd years of high school, i broke it.

At the beginning of my high school freshman year. Boys starts confessing their loves towards me, But I've never accepted anyone, nor do i like any of them. 

But in my Junior year, I've fell for a guy who is not even my classmate. He is a new student. Every girls, most of them, in 2nd years and 3rd, likes him for everything he does or did. He is good at his academics, he got good manners, he is also good at every sports he does. He got everything that a guy should have. Plus, he is every mom want to have as their son-in-law, as the husband for their daughter.

So do I.

Want him as my lover.

My boyfriend.

But i can't.

I just can't.

Because my body can't accept his loves.

My heart can't either.

My heart have been, now too, in too much pains.

I can't accept anymore physical or mental pains anymore.

Nor can i gave someone any pains.

But will my pains goes anyway when love comes?