Donghae and Hyukjae knew each others for twenty years already, starting from first year of middle school. You would describe them as very good friends, where you can’t see one without other right after him. But that wasn’t the whole case. True, they were friends, or more like brothers, which competed against each others.

You see, while Donghae lived looking straight ahead, awaiting what would happen in future, Hyukjae on the other hand saw only Donghae ahead of him. Never next to him, always ahead. Whatever he did, Donghae did better.
If he got a new friend, Donghae got two of them.
If he got good mark from his test, Donghae got excellent.
If he got a new job, Donghae got one which paid more.

It was never him, but Donghae who got all attention. He felt like he was only person who came along Donghae, not with him. Something you had to keep with you when in reality you just wanted to throw it away.

He was that person. The shadow of Donghae’s.

Hyukjae knew that Donghae befriended him first only because he took a pity of bullied miserable kid. He knew it all along, but being as miserable as he was back then, he didn’t care if it was pity if it meant that there was someone for him. Donghae saved him with his pity. He never allowed anyone to lay a hand on Hyukjae, only allowing those who he trusted to encounter the other.

Hyukjae became his carefully guarded property.

Nowadays Hyukjae knew that it wasn’t pity anymore. If it would be, Donghae would have left him ages ago, because now he had own legs and strength to stand. Frankly enough, sometimes Hyukjae hoped that Donghae would leave.

Because with Donghae, it was hard to breathe. And he wanted to breathe properly.

And one day he finally had enough.

“Why are you being so quiet today?” Donghae asked curiously, turning his head slightly to look Hyukjae over his own shoulder. They had met and went lunch together, and now both of them were just aimlessly walking around.
Hyukjae just sighed and smiled little and that made Donghae stop and turn around.
“Seriously Hyukjae, is something wrong?”

Hyukjae didn’t say anything for awhile because how can you tell your friend that he’s the thing that is wrong? It felt bad to just blurt out something like ‘Oh yes, there is something wrong. You, actually.’
It was hard to find words to describe what he really wanted to say and he could only furrow his eyebrows as he clenched his hands. After some minutes of him struggling and Donghae waiting patiently, he sighed “I just had enough. I had enough of walking behind you, in your shadow. Or rather, being your shadow.” Hyukjae sneered and looked straight to Donghae’s eyes as he continued.

“I’m like a broken glass which you repaired. But instead having me in front of people who could look at me, notice me, you kept me disguised, you sheltered me from the world. I am your shadow Donghae, and that’s what has eaten me alive this whole time. That’s why it’s time to go; it is time to say good bye and turn to look straight ahead.”

Hyukjae smiled, still looking into Donghae’s eyes and all he could see there was sadness, frustration.

And sympathy.  

It was clearly visible in Donghae’s eyes that he didn’t want to let other go, but he didn’t do anything because he had seen Hyukjae and Donghae knew that he was right. It was time for Hyukjae to get free, even if it meant losing his friend. So he could only answer to Hyukjae’s smile slightly, when latter hugged him for the last time and whispered

“I am going to live, not in your shadow, but I’m going to step into the light.”