(Hyukjae POV)

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I seriously can't take it all in , it feels like I was just a dorky sophomore last week trying to find the boys washroom in the enormous building and in a few minutes I will be walking across that nerve racking stage to claim by diploma . Where  the hell did these past four years go?

"Lee Hyukjae" principle Millers calls out in the microphone .

I got startled  but I managed to get up from my seat , walk across the lightly dimmed auditorium and made my way up the stairs . The strong lights on the stage hit me all a sudden, they seemed so irritating  and I couldn't concentrate because of all the loud applause and familiar voices yelling out "Go HYUKJAE !!!" and  "Yeah man ,go claim it !" from all around, it's in these times you wish you didn't have such crazy friends . As I got up the stairs I approched Mrs. Millers , she handed me a black folder with a gold seal on it ,stating the schools name and on the top right corner my name was printed in silver . As I accepted the diploma , she reached out her hand , I gave it a soft shake , as I was already feeling nauseated from all the harsh lights ,after I quickly made my way off the stage and back to my seat.

At the end of the ceremony I met up with parents and my sister outside the auditorium , and as soon as mom saw me she whipped out her camera and handed it to my dad , holding on to me like some sort of trophy ,she demanded dad to take a picture from like 50 different angles. I don't mind , it's not like I graduate everyday , it happens once in a few years . Sora smiled at me from beside my dad and she quickly came up to me a gave me tight hug , " Congrats oppa !" .

This is embarrassing , my friends are watching and my family is literally showing me too much affection right now . Before I knew it my dad came up to me  , gave me a strong pat at the back , almost a little too strong that my eyes got a little teary and then he quickly pulled me in for a expected strong hug , " Good job , now work even harder in university, ok? ".

" Hi, Hyukjae !" my buddies yelled across the auditorium parking lot as they approached me . " Hello , Mr and Mrs. Lee " they all greeted my parents . My parents greeted them back and congratulated them on their achievements as well and told me that they will be leaving now ,they wanted to give my friends and me a moment together .

"Hi Hyuk , you ready for the party?" Kangin asked in the most pumped tone ever.

"Yeah man , let's go !" Heechul added , as he put his arm around my shoulders pulling me towards the car they all will be going in.

"Uhhh, sorry guys I don't feel like partying right now . I'll catch up with you guys later ,I promise ." I replied with hesitation in order not to sound rude or like a wimp.

"You serious man ? We have like planned this thing the entire year!" Shindong said in a disappointed tone.

I knew I was not feeling like myself right now , and Sungmin saw that in my face .

"It's alright guys , let Hyuk rest for a while , he'll join as in the evening ." Sungmin seemed to convince the guys to excuse me .

"Ok than go rest , but we better see you at Heechul's place tonight , alright ?"Leeteuk said , jokingly punching me in my right arm .

"Yeah , Yeah , I'll be there ." I responded as they all turned around and headed for their cars .

I know my friends a little too well to believe that this is not just some little party that they are talking about , where there is Kangin and Heechul , you know something is about to go down . These guys know how to have a blast and tonight something tells me that they'll me getting themselves into a lot , including alcohol and girls. But tonight , I didn't want to be part of any of that .

I headed back to my car , that my parents gifted me on my last birthday .I sat in the car and found myself staring out the windshield into empty space , I sat there staring at nothing for the longest time .The school parking lot was empty , everyone left to celebrate. I didn't want to party and I didn't want to go home .

 I wanted to be alone .