6 November 2013

 

My time has ended…

~~

Don’t be me, don’t try to be, enjoy your life, and don’t chase a thing that shouldn’t be chase. It’s hurt but let it go, take my advice…

~~

12 may 2003

I’m now in junior high and nothing has ever changed since then, maybe it’s just me who doesn’t change but everyone does. I walk to my new class, sitting at the end of the row, far at the back. People would not like this sitting position. It’s just for person like me.

Each and every time has passed I had learn, I need to stop being like this.

~~

24 January 2005

It’s my last year of high school, today I will change rather than who I am. This year it’s all going to be a part of my life that I will always remember.

~~

I walk along the school hallway try my best to be happy and friendly, greet them even if they found it unpleasant.

In the class, I sit down and look at the person beside me, trying to make some friend.

“Hye…” she looks at me and just rolled her eyes. Maybe it’s a wrong kind of person. I walk to this one guy who seems so cheerful.

“Hye…” saying the same word as I said to the girl just now. He looks at me weirdly and notices he was just giving me a fake smile that definitely says, go away. I walk back to my sit and look through the window.

 

6 April 2005

It’s been months…

Nothing did I succeed but I keep on doing the same thing every day. I keep on trying to make friend.

“So class, I will hand out your previous exam paper okay.” The teacher has said and walk around the classroom to give to the student their paper. I heard a lot of cheering from them self but not me, because when the teacher give the exam paper to me I just look at it…showing that common word that I see.

“Work harder…this is the last year.” The teacher said and walks away.

“Guess he fails his test…again” one of the student had said. All I do was just look at the paper and close my eyes, hearing their laugh and mock at me.

“Quiet…” all of the students stop laughing as the teacher shout.

Just see I will show you that I can do it.

 

21 0ctober 2005

I’m now sitting for the end of year examination. I had promise to myself that I will pass all of the papers. I will show them.

~~

The result has already come out but I don’t really think that this will be my last year here. I walk to the display board outside the class and squeeze between the students. As I was scanning my name at the bottom, my name was not there. I guess I have been disqualified…and I think I need to try harder next year.

“I rank number 9…” I heard one of the female student has said.

“I rank number 7…say who rank number 10?” the other girl said.

“Jung...dae- Owh well I don’t know this guy…but best of all we passed.”

My eyes widen as I heard my name been called and saying that I rank number 10. I look at the board again and scan for the list name at number ten. It’s true…it is me.

I did it…my efforts doesn’t goes to waste. It’s all worth it.

~~

“Mom…!” I shouted at her happily and hug her.

“What’s wrong?” she asks while smiling. “Did something happen?” she ask again. I lead her to the couch and tell her to sit down.

“I had passed my end of year exam and I finally can graduate from that school!” I hug my mom again.

“See what I said…work hard…mother knows best, then let mom cook for you…for your great success” I just smile and nodded at her

23 November 2005

We had this festival going on at our school and we all been tell to come. I had arrived, and there was many booth and stall. It’s great that they did this, but as I see along people walking, they are not alone.

I walk inside the school building also see people doing some services for the customer. As I was walking, I accidently bump someone.

“Hey watch it…” I just bow at him and said sorry.

“Owh…it’s the school Mr. Loner” I just ignore him but instead he walk in front of me.

“So how is life still unimposing?” I just keep quiet. “Owh probably still living like s*it hole with your mother…how sad.” I had enough of people saying like this through the year. I push him to the wall.

“Don’t you dare speak about my life like that…because you don’t how hurt to live like this!” I shouted at him. Then he started punching me, and then fight has started.

 

“Both of you…principal office now!” The teacher said and brings us there.

~~

“Jung daehyun you shouldn’t fight back…just endure it, you know what kind of guy he is…he will not stop yet he will still keep on doing it…!! ”

 

You’re wrong, it’s not my fault. He still need to be teach a lesson…to show appreciation to my life

 

15 march 2006

So now I’m attending college. I’m still being myself without anybody being beside me.

However, I had this crush on this one girl. She is just perfect in my eye. I had start liking her ever since I attend here. Every time I would take a glance at her. Looking at her smiling and laughing while talking to her friend, she is one of the most beautiful girl I had seen.

~~

I grab her hand and she look at me. “Lee Jieun, I want to tell this to you for so long. When I come here, I had fallen for you. I usually don’t have time to talk with you since you are always with your friend…now I can finally say to you that…I love you.” she just look at me with confusion.

“So…will you…go...Out with me? On Friday night” she smile and nodded. “See you later…” with that I walk to my class and took a deep breath. Damn I was nervous.

~~

26 November 2006

We were both walking at the park together. Hand in hand. She then stop…I look at her.

“Dae, I don’t think this is going well between us. I don’t mean to hurt you but seeing you lonely every time hurt me to, I know you are a nice guy…but it’s seem like I’ll be studying aboard and you will be going to university soon. I guess it’s time for use to part away.” She said, all I could do was remain silence.

“I know you love me but we don’t have that same feeling…I just want to accompany you…I’m sorry” she said again, I let go of her hand and turn around and walk leaving her standing there

“Daehyun…” she called but I don’t want to listen no more. Just when I thought that we had that happiness together. Now it’s all just a part of my memories being with her.

I love her…but she doesn’t love me back.

Without me noticing, tears rolled down through my cheek. I never will have that happiness. Never…

~~

4 January 2007

I had been accepted to Seoul national university.

Mom has been sick through this day and due to me being busy I cannot help her that much.

This year, I will live by myself. I won’t find some friend because I can’t, this year I live by the loneliness.

~~

It’s sad…, people would say to a person like me, a guy who can’t find a living.

I look at my watch, my class will start soon.

“Daehyun…” I heard someone called me; I turn around and see a female student.

“Can we meet…tomorrow?” she asks. I nodded at her and begin to walk to class. Who is she?

~~

“Why? Who are you” I said as I look at her emotionless.

“I’m lee Pani… I just want to say to you…I think I love you…”

There it goes again…I cannot trust love no more.

I grab both of her hands, and look deep into her eyes.

“Thanks…but I can’t accept that. You’re a beautiful girl but don’t find a guy like me. I appreciate what you had said to me…but I’m sorry…I’m afraid I cannot lead you to a nice life.” I turn around and walk away.

“Wait…” she shout, I stop and turn around again.

“Can we be friend…?”

Friend? She is the first person who ever ask me that…

“I never had friend before…” I said and gave her a small smile.

“So do I…” she said and I look at her and see her crying. I walk towards her and wipe her tears.

“Sure then, let’s be friend.” She looks at me and hugs me.

 

Isn’t it ironic? We loved the one who hurt us and hurt the ones who love us.

 

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The story is long so i need to split the story into two...~

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