A strange tapping sound aded his unconscious state and Donghae gasped when he realized he’d fallen asleep in his car, vision reeling as he tried to gather his bearings.  “Hae!” he heard, startling him further before he wriggled around to see who was calling him.

                “Hyukkie?” he groaned, peering through one eye at a blonde figure knocking on his window.

                “Oh thank goodness.  Open the damn door, Hae,” Eunhyuk urged, smacking the window again.  Sluggishly, Donghae fumbled for the lock on his door and unlocked it, flinching when Eunhyuk yanked it open immediately and leaned in over his still prone form.  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked with no hesitation, voice strained with obvious concern and fear rather than actual anger as he grabbed Donghae’s face with both hands so he could get a better look at him in the dim light.

                “I don’t know,” Donghae mumbled, expression full of guilt as his bottom lip trembled and he looked up at his best friend.

                “God you’re an , fishy,” Eunhyuk forced himself to laugh, the outburst filled with relief and concern.  He squinted into the back seat where he saw the other’s phone, blinking away with missed calls.  “You can’t just call and leave me that kind of message and expect me not to get worried,” he chided, manually helping him to sit up, holding the seat lever so it would follow, keeping him upright.

                “Sorry,” Donghae pouted, head ducked ashamedly.

                Eunhyuk sighed heavily and gave a tug on Donghae’s arm, gently pulling him towards the outside.  “Come on, Hae.  It’s late and you need to sleep somewhere that isn’t a car,” he snorted with a shake of his head.

                “How did you find me?” he asked quietly, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet, watching uncertainly when Eunhyuk reached back in to retrieve his phone, handing it off with a weary smirk.

                “Really?” the blonde asked with a wry twist of his mouth.  “There aren’t that many places you’d be,” he explained, reaching out to ruffle the dark hair tenderly before he pulled him under his arm and started to guide him towards his car further down the street.

                He wasn’t sure how he felt about being that predictable but for now, Eunhyuk was here and it was safe to say that he himself was pretty much exhausted.  A car was not the most comfortable of sleeping places and his… revelations of the evening had done nothing but make him feel worse.  “What about my car?” he mumbled, casting a glance back at it in the light of the streetlamp.

                “I’ll bring you back to it in the morning,” Eunhyuk assured him, keeping him moving forward.  “You’ll crash with me and I’d make you call in sick if I could but something tells me you won’t.”

                Donghae shook his head and groaned quietly.  The last thing he needed was more time on his hands to think…

                “Alright then.  Come on,” he urged once more, unlocking his car and handing Donghae into the passenger seat.  It didn’t take him more than a few seconds to get in the driver side and pull out, heading to his apartment.

                Eunhyuk was going to take the couch when they got there, but Donghae desperately wanted the presence of someone with him so he convinced the other male to at least stay in the same bed.  He wasn’t Seunghyun but at least he was here and the thought of Eunhyuk didn’t immediately call to mind images of Jiyong with Donghae’s boyfriend, and was therefore a safer image.

                The next morning was rough, as was his workday which he forced himself to attend, partially paying attention to what was going on.  It crawled by achingly slow though and he couldn’t help but check his phone various times just to see if Seunghyun had sent him something but it was quiet on that front too.  Eunhyuk sent him several texts throughout the day, designed to make him smile, but each time he saw he got something, his hopes were dashed when he realized it was his friend and not his boyfriend contacting him.

                Like the day before, he went home to change and could only conclude that he was a glutton for punishment when he found himself back in front of Seunghyun’s door again near the end of the day.

                Donghae stared at the barrier, blinking at it dumbly, wondering if he should even bother.  Hesitantly, he knocked on the door and waited, running his bottom teeth over his top lip roughly.  He was tempted to try the door handle again but kept himself from touching it this time; he even declined to pull out his key and just opted to knock again.  Silence was his answer and he sighed.

                “Donghae?” a familiar voice asked jauntily down the hall as the elevator doors opened to admit the taller form of Seungri, another of their mutual friends and Seunghyun’s neighbor.

                “Hey Seungri,” Donghae mustered up the ghost of a smile and waved at the younger, short haired man.

                “What are you doing here?  Did Seunghyun send you to pick something up while his lazy stays in the hotel room?” he grinned wryly, clapping the shorter male on the back as he walked past him towards his door, fumbling for his keys around the bag in his other arm.

                Hotel room?  What the hell?

                “I swear,” Seungri went on as if Donghae had answered him.  “He and Ji must be working on something pretty major since I don’t think they’ve left that place for the past couple days,” he shook his head with a snort.

                “Yeah,” Donghae responded, trying to gather his wits about him enough to catch up with what had just been said.

                Seungri managed to open the door and nudged it open grinning back at Donghae.  “Though I can’t imagine why they’d opt for damn Motel 8.  Of all the places,” he exhaled with a roll of his eyes.

                “I know, right?” he laughed back, feeling very queasy at the newest revelation.

                “Oh!  If you’re heading back that way, can you give this to him?” Seungri ducked inside his apartment, only to reappear a moment later without the bag but bearing a smaller brown paper bag with some sort of bottle inside.  “I meant to drop it by but forgot about it on my last run.  Pushy bastard.  He wouldn’t even let me in the room,” he exhaled, obviously just a teensy bit annoyed.

                “Well, you know how he can be sometimes,” Donghae murmured in a slightly strained tone of voice.

                Seungri picked up on it at last and looked at the other male curiously.  “You alright, Donghae?  You look a little pale all of a sudden.”

                “I’m fine,” Donghae assured him quickly, taking a hesitant step back.  “Just haven’t been feeling too well lately,” which was certainly the truth…

                “Damn,” Seungri grimaced.  “Sorry to hear that.  I know there’s some sort of bug floating around or something.  You gotta make sure you take care of yourself too, neh?” he smiled, giving him an encouraging wave from his doorway.

                “Thanks, Seungri,” Donghae responded, doing his best to flee without looking like he was doing so.  Fortunately, it looked like the younger man had something else he needed to focus on so he disappeared from the doorway which left Donghae free to head out with haste.  There was really only the one Motel 8 in the area and he should be able to find Seunghyun’s car just fine if it was parked somewhere over there.

                While he felt slightly guilty for actually looking for his boyfriend, whom he suspected of cheating on him mind you, he’d had about enough of the evasion and not even telling him where he’d gone when their friends certainly seemed to know…  At least Seungri did anyway.  Stupid.

                Feeling all manner of nerves climbing into his muscles, tensing him up enough to prompt a headache, Donghae scoured the parking lot of the run down motel as he pulled into the unkempt driveway.  It wasn’t in ill-repair but it didn’t look particularly desirable and again, he had to wonder why they chose such a… mediocre place.  One would think they’d have opted for something a bit nicer for clandestine meetings and all.  Not that they were particularly secret about it if Seungri knew they were here which only made Donghae more upset.  He could at least be discreet about it…

                The parking lot lights illuminated the cars rather poorly, but there was no mistaking Seunghyun’s deep blue Mercedes Benz.  He’d never wanted the sports car and had opted instead for something as y and regal as he was, in Donghae’s opinion anyway.  It looked sorely out of place amongst the odd collection of other vehicles that had almost nothing on his.  There was a sporty little Audi nearby but it was on the other side of the parking lot.

                Donghae took a deep breath as he pulled into a spot on the opposite side, peering into his rearview mirror with a furrowed brow, staring at the set of doors that likely led to Seunghyun and Jiyong’s room.  He couldn’t be sure and while he could probably ask the attendant which room he was staying in, it felt bad enough that he was here already…   The lights were on in a couple rooms downstairs and occasionally, he saw figures moving in front of the curtains, dim shadows giving a hint of the person behind.

                A glance at his phone showed no texts and that it was almost eight in the evening.  He shouldn’t be here.  He really shouldn’t.  He should just go home and confront Seunghyun when he was actually at the apartment or something.  Maybe it was just a misunderstanding after all.  It could be that, right?  Chewing on his thumb nail distractedly, Donghae groaned in the back of his throat and eyed the mirror for a few moments longer, growing more and more conflicted with each minute that ticked by.

                He had almost managed to convince himself to do just that when he noticed the light in one of the rooms waver oddly, figures within coming into sight as shadows on the curtain briefly.  They were only there for but a moment but one was definitely taller and they… hugged?  Was that what that odd merging thing had been?  Could it be…?

                Suddenly indecisive, he chewed his bottom lip instead, finally opting to get out of the car and investigate further.  It felt like a walk of shame as he crossed the parking lot before he moved in front of the door with the figures inside.  He had to swallow around his throat suddenly gone very dry and listened, head tilting to the side as he could make out some of what the voices were saying.  Snippets came through as the volume of the speakers rose and fell.

                “…so hot…”

                “…hurts…  Wait…”

                “Just breathe, Jiyonggie.”  That was definitely Seunghyun’s voice.

                “Hyunnie…”

                Unable to listen anymore as his mind filled in all sorts of sordid possibilities that made him flush, Donghae steeled himself and knocked on the door firmly, expression firm.  He clenched his jaw as he heard the deep voice inside respond, “What the hell?”  That was more of an indicator of how riled up he was if he cursed just like that…  There was a tense pause and Donghae damn near jumped back when the door was yanked open just a crack, giving him enough room to see Seunghyun peering back at him through the barrier.  “Hae?” he asked in obvious confusion, clearly having opened the door without checking to see who was there.

                “Why are you avoiding me and spending your time alone with Jiyong in a hotel room?” Donghae asked, done with hedging around the issue, eyes burning with oncoming tears as his chest grew heavy.

                Panic flitted briefly across Seunghyun’s face and he schooled it as best he could, launching into the best explanation he could muster on short notice, “It’s not what it looks like, baby.”

                “How dare you call me that!” Donghae scowled, pointing his finger at Seunghyun as the taller male’s face flinched.  He raked his eyes over Seunghyun’s disheveled form, shirt partially undone and hair a mess.  At least his pants were on.

                “Hae, please,” he urged softly, glancing back over his shoulder when they both heard a plaintive moan behind him.

                “Seunghyunnie, come back…”

                Donghae pushed at the door, surprising his boyfriend enough that it actually moved to reveal Jiyong in bed and partially under the covers.  His hair was a mess and his torso was bare, various tattoos stark against his pale skin, while the rest of him was hidden beneath the blankets but he had a thin sheen of sweat on his body and his expression indicated one who was having a hard time focusing.  “You bastard,” Donghae whispered darkly, taking a step back as the tears started to fall.

                “Baby, wait,” Seunghyun breathed, stepping forward to grab his hand gently as he could see the thoughts that ran across Donghae’s face.

                “Don’t touch me!” Donghae snapped, tearing his hand from the other male’s grip and taking another step back.  He could well imagine that Jiyong was under the covers and that Seunghyun was only wearing clothes because he’d hastily thrown them on.

                “Hae, please,” he pleaded instead, following the shorter male into the parking lot, leaving the door open behind him, revealing a fraction of the somewhat messy room.

                “No!  Get away from me!” Donghae yelled back, actually stepping forward to shove Seunghyun back, shaking from too many things all at once.  He watched the shock appear on his boyfriend’s face at the gesture, standing still where he came to a stop.

                “Seunghyunnie!” they heard from inside the room, the tone full of need, and Seunghyun looked back while Donghae’s face crumpled further, hands balling into fists at his side.

                “,” Seunghyun cursed, looking back at Donghae with his hand raised towards him, silently imploring.  “I’ll call you baby,” he stated, very much torn between staying to fix things and going back in to Jiyong.

                “Stop calling me that!” Donghae retorted, clapping his hands over his ears while he retreated further, face downcast.  He didn’t want to hear anymore; didn’t want to see anymore that would give him reason enough to believe it was true…

                “Just give me a chance to explain,” the taller male added, turning back to the motel room and hurrying inside, closing the door behind him without a second thought.

                Overwhelmed and slightly panicked, Donghae rushed back to his car and threw himself into the driver seat, knowing he was unsteady.  That didn’t stop him from driving home though, completely surprised he didn’t get pulled along the way.  When he got there, heart still racing and throat tight, he just sat in the parking lot and stared ahead, having a hard time processing what he’d seen.  He hadn’t wanted to believe but with that kind of evidence…  He sniffed once and finally drew a measure of thoughts together in his head, shaking it once.

                Beside him, he noticed the paper bag Seungri had given him and he finally picked it up to see what was inside.  His mouth turned down into a frown when he saw it was a pint of whiskey.  Probably something to celebrate or unwind with.  .  Muttering unpleasant things under his breath, Donghae headed upstairs to his apartment and stared at the bottle in his hand.  He wasn’t normally much of a drinker but right now, he simply didn’t want to think anymore and sleep was going to be a long time in coming.

                For just a moment, he argued with himself and then twisted open the bottle, taking a large gulp and choking on the burning sensation that hit the back of his throat and stole his breath away.

                Waking up feeling like his head was in a vice with a horrible taste in the back of his throat was not the most pleasant of experiences for Donghae the next morning.  Nor was the sound of something heavy banging on his door, sending bolts of pain through his head at every reverberation.  He opened his eyes to get a better look at things and then closed them immediately, flinching from the sunlight forcing its way through the closed blinds.  “Too bright…” he groaned, prying one eye open to find an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand.

                The other revelation was that he was on the floor; in front of his couch and fully clothed, but on the floor all the same.  He groaned again when the banging continued, a new sound coming through.  “Hae!  Open the door, dammit!”

                Taking a deep breath, he woozily pushed himself to his feet, one hand coming to rest against his aching head before he stumbled, half-blind, to the door.  Okay.  So maybe tackling a fifth of whiskey on a completely empty stomach in record time had been a rather poor idea.  “Coming,” he called, the word emerging as a garbled mess of sounds that he wasn’t entirely sure was intelligible.  He fumbled with the lock on his door and opened it to reveal a panicked and pale Eunhyuk, hand poised to knock again while he stared straight ahead.

                As soon as he saw Donghae though, he threw himself forward, practically running the other male over.  “Oh thank god!” he gasped, clinging tightly.

                Baffled, Donghae groaned but patted Eunhyuk on the back, his other hand still pressed to his head.  “What’s wrong?” he asked, unable to figure out why his best friend was hugging him so hard.

                “Ugh!” Eunhyuk scowled, pushing Donghae at arm’s length.  “Seriously?”  He searched the other male’s face and then seemed to realize he was still holding his head and Eunhyuk’s eyes narrowed slightly, concern evident.  “Are you hungover?” he demanded, leaning forward to peer into still blurry eyes.  “What the hell, Hae?” he grumbled, catching sight of the empty bottle of whiskey on the floor behind them.

                Just like that, everything clicked and Donghae recalled the night before, a thin whimper coming from his throat while his face crumpled with unbidden tears, further alarming Eunhyuk.  “I saw him with Jiyong…” he cried piteously, hanging his head against his chest.

                “Eh?” Eunhyuk blinked, confounded and slightly frightened.  “Considering he’s the one that told me to come check on you… why don’t we have a seat?” he urged, firmly guiding Donghae to the couch and setting him down.

                Donghae cried and sniffled, wiping his nose and eyes with the top of his shirt, his headache worsening with the additional pressure.  He heard Eunhyuk moving around and it wasn’t long before he felt a glass of water being pressed into his hands.

                “Drink,” Eunhyuk told him, picking up the bottle to throw it away.

                Without argument, Donghae did as he was told and then handed the empty container back, trying to collect himself while Eunhyuk went and refilled it.  He curled into the couch and tried to hide his face, which did nothing to make his friend go away or stop pestering him, badgering him until he’d at least started working on the second glass, a bag of opened pretzels lying nearby, which he was inclined to nibble on.

                Bit by bit, Donghae explained what had happened the night before and managed not to break down into tears again.  Yet at least.  It was still likely later but for the moment, he just felt tired and numb with a headache that refused to go away entirely.  By the time he was done, all he wanted to do was go sit in the shower for forever and then curl up in bed, but Eunhyuk practically forced him to call in to work first.

                While he did as he was told, pouting all the while, he realized he’d missed a number of phone calls and messages from Seunghyun and Eunhyuk.  When he told his boss he was sick, it wasn’t even a direct lie since he was so heart sick just then it was ridiculous and the hangover wasn’t helping any either.

                “There,” he sighed, setting the phone in his lap with his head still downcast.  It was hard to look at Eunhyuk just then because he knew the other man was mad at him.  And disappointed which killed him worse than the anger.

                The blonde rubbed his face with both hands and groaned, staring at Donghae through his fingers.  “If I go back to work, are you going to be okay by yourself?” he asked, skeptical of the answer.

                Donghae nodded slightly, feeling even more ashamed and worthless.  Not only had Eunhyuk been forced to come check on him personally, but he’d had to take time out of work to do it…  He really just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.  He heard a heavy sigh before strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

                “Damn fishy.  You know how to make someone feel guilty don’t you?” Eunhyuk snorted softly.  “You take care of yourself for now, alright?  I’ll be back later and we can get things figured out when you feel better.  Neh?” he asked, pulling back enough to see into Donghae’s face, threading stray strands of hair out of his eyes to see him better.

                “Okay,” Donghae whispered pitifully.

                “Alright.  Call me if you need anything.  Got it?” Eunhyuk urged again, clearly reluctant to leave him alone, obviously conflicted.

                Donghae could see that if he asked him to stay, he would and he couldn’t do that to the other man.  “Got it,” he agreed with a small nod, sniffing as he pushed Eunhyuk’s hands away to get him moving.

                “Pabo,” Eunhyuk smiled sadly, patting Donghae’s hand between both of his.

                Donghae could only watch him leave, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.  When the door was shut again, his gaze dropped to his phone and he stared at the icon that told him he had voicemails he needed to check.  He didn’t want to…  Really he didn’t, but some were from Hyukkie and… he was curious what Seunghyun had to say after all.

                Baby, please talk to me.  I really need you to answer now, Hae.

                Don’t shut me out, baby.  I need to talk to you.  Call me when you get this.

                Dammit, Hae!  I’ve called you three times in a row.  Why aren’t you answering?  Ugh!  Never mind.  I’m coming over.

                Hae.  I love you baby.  Just wanted you to know that.

                The last one started the water works all over again and Donghae threw the phone on the couch before he fled to the bathroom where he curled up under the warm fall of water, sobbing into the narrow space and pretending as if the tears were simply droplets from the shower.

                Clothed in nothing but his towel, he emerged when the water ran cool and retrieved his cup of water and the bag of pretzels, pausing to glare at the phone which was blinking to let him know he’d received another something.  With his lip curled in annoyance, he picked it up as well and retreated to his room, nibbling on the pretzels before he threw himself under the covers of his bed.  Only when he was settled did he opt to look at the message.

                It was a text from Seunghyun, complete with a missed call and everything.  He really didn’t want to deal with it right now, or the thoughts that would accompany it, so he refused to open the message and just left his phone on the side of his bed.  A nap was what he needed now since actually putting food on his stomach had made him slightly nauseous again…