When he woke up a couple hours later, Donghae felt considerably better, if still dehydrated as hell, but at least the headache was gone, as was the nausea.  It was almost three in the afternoon and he was rather hungry, but unwilling to cook anything so he ordered a pizza and curled up on the couch, letting himself zone with the television while his food settled and he waited for Eunhyuk to get off of work.

                Eventually, he peered at his phone to look at the unopened text message.  It was curiosity as much as guilt and a strange feeling of unease that prompted him to actually read the message.  I know you’re angry right now but I need you baby.  More than you know.

                A great many things he wasn’t exactly proud to admit ran through his head upon reading it but Donghae managed to curtail the more upset responses and instead sent, I don’t want to talk to you right now.  Funny how even sending something as tame as that hurt like a too.  Nor did it do anything to alleviate the unease still lingering in his stomach, almost making him regret the food.  He about jumped off the couch when the phone in his hands rang, the caller id none other than Seunghyun.

                With wide eyes, he stared at it and finally convinced himself to silence it, not ready to speak to him directly yet.  He wasn’t sure when that was going to be but definitely not until after he’d spoken to Eunhyuk later that evening.  In the meantime, he didn’t want to think about it so when Seunghyun called him again not even a minute later, he silenced that one too.  He was tempted to turn his phone off but Hyukkie would definitely be mad at him if he did so he just muted the volume instead and focused on the television, steadfastly ignoring the unease still simmering in his gut.

                “And you’re sure that’s exactly what was happening?” Eunhyuk asked when he was finished listening carefully to what his friend had told him after he’d arrived.  He looked long and hard at Donghae as the other tried to explain what he thought he’d seen in better detail.

                “Yes.  No.  Maybe?” he mumbled, conflicted now.  When Eunhyuk just looked at him, waiting patiently for a definite answer, he threw his hands up in the air and wailed, “What else was I supposed to think?!”

                “You tell me,” the blonde urged, shrugging both shoulders.

                “Come on, Hyukkie,” Donghae whined, shoulders slumping.  “Like I said.  He’s been growing distant and spending a lot more time with Jiyong.  And then they’re staying at the same hotel room together and Seunghyunnie wouldn’t tell me anything and then they looked like…  Well-” he floundered, flushing a embarrassing shade of pink as he tried to elaborate.  “Jiyong was in bed without his shirt and he clearly looked like… something had happened,” he muttered unconvincingly.

                Eunhyuk sighed and tried to look as if he wasn’t taking either side just yet.  “Have you at least tried to talk to him yet?”

                “No…”

                “Well, you did say he wanted to talk to you,” he reminded the other male gently.

                “I know,” he whimpered in response.

                “Hae,” Eunhyuk exhaled quickly before he placed both hands on Donghae’s shoulders, causing the other male to look up.  “You know I love you like a brother and if there’s any truth to what you think, I’m going to have to kick his .  But…” he trailed off, cringing as he went on, “you love the bastard and up to this point, he’s cared a helluva lot for you.”

                Donghae just blinked at him, on the verge of tears for a different reason.  Even with Eunhyuk’s reminder, it was still far too easy to keep seeing Seunghyun and Jiyong together…  Granted, he hadn’t actually witnessed that part but his imagination was more than able to fill in the blanks.

                “I just don’t think you should write him out of the picture quite yet,” he explained hesitantly.  “Talk to him, fishy,” he urged once more, shifting one hand to cup the other male’s cheek tenderly.

                Mutely, Donghae wiped at his teary eyes and offered a weak smile while he nodded.  “You’re right.”  His swallow was loud and painful, making him grimace.  “I will.”

                “There’s my fishy,” Eunhyuk smiled, glancing down distractedly for a moment, drawing Donghae’s attention as well.  “Panda?” he asked, head tilted to the side curiously.

                “Seungri?” Donghae frowned in thought, picking the phone up to answer it.  “Hello?”

                “Donghae?!” came the worried voice on the other end.

                “Neh.  What’s up?” he asked in response, feeling a hint of fear travel up his spine.

                “Holy hell!” Seungri practically yelled over the phone, going on before Donghae could interrupt him.  “I don’t know what’s going on because I lost track of him and he’s not answering my phone calls but what the hell is wrong with Seunghyun?”

                “What?” Donghae asked, face paling as his heart flipped painfully in his chest.

                “Neh.  I heard him come home just a little while ago and he was like angry or something.  Kept throwing around and then stormed out of the apartment without a by your leave or anything,” he explained.  “Said something about a hospital, someone dying, and how somebody else hates him.  What the hell is going on, Hae?”

                Dumbfounded, Donghae couldn’t even formulate a response.  Seunghyun had flown off the handle?  And stormed out of the apartment?  And what was Seungri talking about with the hospital, hate and dying?  What?!

                “Donghae?”

                “Um…  Sorry.  I don’t know,” Donghae responded at last, looking at Eunhyuk, feeling woozy all of a sudden.

                “Man,” Seungri groaned, obviously flustered.  “This is some seriously messed up …”

                “Yeah, um.  Seungri.  I’m gonna have to call you back, alright?” Donghae urged, trying to get off the phone.

                “Alright Donghae.  Let me know if you hear anything, neh?” he asked, worried.

                “Of course.”  With his fingers wrapped tightly around the phone, Donghae ended the call and just stared at Eunhyuk who looked right back at him, very much concerned.  “Something happened to Seunghyunnie,” he trailed off quietly, still not sure how that was even possible.  The man was utterly unflappable…

                “What?!” Eunhyuk gasped, sitting upright.  “When?  How?”

                “I don’t know,” Donghae shook his head, moving to get up before he even knew what he was doing.  “I have to find him, Hyukkie.  Something’s not right,” he explained, searching for his shoes and his keys.

                “Of course,” Eunhyuk agreed, hopping up to do the same.

                “Will you help me?” Donghae asked, looking very small all of a sudden.

                “You know I will,” he replied easily, pausing to give him an encouraging if strained smile.

                Without another word, Donghae finished finding his things and bolted out of the apartment, the blonde right on his heels.  A simple nod had them splitting up to take separate cars so they could cover more ground and Donghae tried to call him as soon as he got in his vehicle.  It went straight to voicemail.  .

                Fighting panic, he started his search, not even bothering with the apartment or his workplace.  He did swing by the hotel but the room he’d been staying in was dark with no sign of his Mercedes Benz nearby.  He racked his memory for places that Seunghyun had often liked to hang out but saw no sign of his vehicle anywhere.  Once or twice, he found a Benz that looked like Seunghyun’s but further inspection in the establishment did not locate him either way.  While he didn’t want to, he did expand his search to bars and pubs, just in case.  He wasn’t sure if he was more happy or scared that he didn’t find him in any of them either.

                Eunhyuk called to let him know he hadn’t found anything yet but that he would keep searching.  Donghae agreed he would do the same though he was running out of ideas and it was getting damn late.  It was almost midnight and there was still no sign of him.  Another call to his cellphone went straight to voicemail again and he had to resist the urge to throw the thing out his window…  It was ironic that despite everything his head was trying to tell him in regards to what might have happened between Seunghyun and Jiyong, his heart demanded he act accordingly.  He still loved the man and the fact that he might be in trouble or hurt terrified him.

                He finally had to put the car in park and get a handle on his breathing or else he thought he might hyperventilate or something.  Seunghyun had never done anything like this before and he was genuinely scared.  What if he was hurt or something and no one knew where he was and had no way to get in touch with him because his phone wasn’t being bloody useful?!  “Think, Hae.  Think!” he told himself, picking his brain for any snippet of recollection that would point him in the right direction.

                His eyes widened slightly when a thought did occur to him.  He hadn’t checked there yet.  What were the chances he’d even be there though?  Well…  It wouldn’t hurt to find out.

                “Please be there, Seunghyunnie,” he murmured.  Mad at him or not, he did not want anything to happen to him.

                When he pulled up to the dirt parking lot illuminated only by the single lamppost hovering over it, he could have sobbed in relief when he saw Seunghyun’s deep blue Mercedes Benz parked in it, the direction skewed but the vehicle untouched.  Parking his car next to the other one, he scoured the mostly dark playground in the small park they used to frequent when they had first started going out.  It was the location of their first date in fact as well as their first tentative kiss under that tree near the jungle gym.  He didn’t immediately see the other man in his line of sight but then he noticed a figure reclining on top of the slide tower, back resting against the wooden slats of the protective barrier.

                “Oh thank god,” he breathed a sigh of relief, turning the car off as he sent a text to Eunhyuk to let him know he’d found him with the location.

                Getting out of the car slowly, he shut the door with care behind him and walked closer, eyes sweeping the area again with a nervous glance.  It wasn’t a dangerous area but it was late and they were completely alone, nor did he know Seunghyun’s condition.  He had to his lips as he got closer, the feel of them parched, as he saw the other male take a drink of something in a brown paper bag, his other hand holding onto something in his fingers that he was staring at intently.  The lighting was incredibly poor but Donghae thought he saw his cheeks glistening…

                “Seunghyunnie?” he called tentatively, coming to stop at the foot of the slide so he could look up into the tower the other man was resting in.  For a moment, he was afraid the taller male wouldn’t answer him.

                “Baby?” came the slightly thick word, his tone so full of hope and wonder that it felt like someone had kicked Donghae in the stomach.

                “Neh,” he answered quietly, brown eyes searching for Seunghyun’s but he was still hidden behind that partial barrier.  “Are you alright?”  There were a lot of possible responses to that question but laughter was definitely not one that he was expecting.

                Seunghyun laughed at the question, low and pained, and by the sound of it, he was fighting tears.  “No…” he finally croaked, taking another swig of whatever was in that bag.

                Unable to stand being so far from him while he was obviously hurting, Donghae hurried to the stairs that led up, not brave enough to try the slide in the dim lighting.  Seunghyun was unmoved when he reached him and got his first good look at the other male.  As expected, he was slumped against the wooden railing, still wearing the same thing Donghae had seen him in yesterday.  His hair was unkempt and his face soaked with tears, eyes bloodshot even in the poor visibility.  He was still holding to a picture that he couldn’t make out yet in one hand and some sort of covered bottle in the other.

                At the top, he could finally make out what it was when the smell of whiskey practically hit him in the face.  He reeked of it…  Genuinely alarmed now, Donghae knelt next to the downed man, eyes wide in his face at seeing him so desolate.  “Baby?” he murmured, carefully pulling the picture away so he could see it, mildly creeped out by the fact that Seunghyun’s gaze didn’t change at all; he just kept staring at the spot where the picture had been as if he could see it anyway.  When he saw the image though, his free hand rose to his mouth and he felt the urge to cry as he saw them staring back at him.

                It was the first picture they’d taken together.  Eunhyuk had held the camera at the time.  He’d gotten distracted by something so it was slightly off-center and cockeyed but it was him and Seunghyun, smiling happily.  Well, he was grinning from ear to ear and Seunghyun wore that warm smile he took when he was genuinely content, his eyes glancing up at Donghae on his back instead of at the camera, completely focused on the other man.  He’d had no idea he’d kept it.

                “You hate me.”  Startled enough to look up, he saw more silent tears trickle down Seunghyun’s stricken face as he continued staring at nothing.  Almost mechanically, the bottle came to his lips again and he took another sip, unphased by the bitter, burning liquid.

                Without a word, Donghae set the picture aside and then leaned over to retrieve the bottle, claiming it with only a minimum of resistance from Seunghyun who finally focused enough to look at him, eyes tracking the older male when he sat back with it in his hands.  Donghae grimaced when he realized he’d bought a fifth of the vile stuff and it felt mostly empty.  A quick peek inside showed he’d polished off over half of it by himself…

                Donghae grimaced as he set the bottle behind him and looked back at Seunghyun.  “I don’t hate you,” he stated, grabbing the slightly chilly hand in his.

                “Shut me out.”

                His face crumpled upon seeing more tears fall from Seunghyun’s eyes.  He never saw him cry.  Ever.  Clutching the limp hand to his chest, he shook his head and fought his emotions back, “I was angry and scared.  I don’t hate you, Seunghyunnie.”

                Seunghyun just blinked at him for a second and looked away, expression forlorn as he mumbled something.  The alcohol made him difficult to understand but Donghae eventually managed to decipher it as something along the lines of, “My boyfriend hates me and…”  The last bit contained meth head and best friend but the rest was almost unintelligible.

                Meth head?  But his best friend was… “Jiyong?” he prompted in a thin voice, squeezing Seunghyun’s hand hard as he scooted that much closer.

                “Wanted to quit,” Seunghyun explained on the edge of a sob.  “Made me promise I wouldn’t tell.”  Dark piercing eyes focused on Donghae and he added, “Don’t break promises.”

                Donghae started to cry then, ashamed of himself and what he’d thought he’d seen.  “No,” he agreed in a broken voice.  “You don’t.”  And that included the promise he’d made to Donghae when they started dating: ‘For as long as we’re together, I am yours and yours alone.’  How could he ever have forgotten that?  “Baby,” he murmured, moving close enough to actually pull Seunghyun into his arms, cradling the distraught man against his chest, his head tucked under his chin.

                “Was gone for a minute,” Seunghyun explained shakily, his hands still lax at his side, not holding to Donghae.  “Needed food.  And there he was.  On the bed…” his voice trailed off, little more than a whisper.

                “Oh Seunghyunnie,” Donghae breathed, pressing his lips against the other man’s hair, holding tight as he felt strong hands finally grip him, clinging to his smaller form with a desperate intensity.

                “He died,” Seunghyun gasped, arms tightening almost painfully around Donghae’s waist.  “They brough’im back but he died, Hae,” he cried, shoulders finally starting to shake as it set in.

                “I’m sorry, baby.  I’m so sorry,” Donghae sniffled, rocking back and forth while tears blinded him and guilt was a suffocating force he couldn’t escape.  “I didn’t know.”

                “Didn’t want you to worry.  To see,” his boyfriend cried into his chest, the words pouring out of him in a difficult to decipher stream of sounds.  “Didn’t wanna hurt you, baby.  Love you so damn much,” he admitted, nearly choking when he tried to swallow and take a breath at the same time.

                “Easy, easy,” Donghae soothed, running his hands along the lean back as he kissed the top of his head.  “Shh.  It’s alright now, baby,” he murmured, shaking as much as the man in his arms.  So much of what had been going on suddenly made a lot more sense…

                Seunghyun’s distance; his being tired all the time; the constant calls from Jiyong and how he would always run off to him if possible; and last night at the hotel…  Jiyong was coming down off a hit wasn’t he?

                “Don’t hate me, baby,” Seunghyun pleaded in a moment of startling clarity.  “Please don’t leave me.  I need you…”

                Donghae choked on a sob and just held to Seunghyun trying to convey without words what he felt because it was too damn difficult to speak right then.  So he just held him while they both cried, rocking as much for his sake as Seunghyun’s.  “I’m here, baby,” he finally mumbled around the runny nose and leaking eyes, his throat tight, making words difficult.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

                He didn’t know how long he held him for, but he flinched when headlights hit them briefly before they were turned off and a glance over showed Eunhyuk running his direction.  “Hae!” he shouted once, falling silent when he noticed the two huddled together at the top.  Taking the stairs two at a time, he pulled up short to take in the scene before he knelt behind Donghae and placed both hands on his back and shoulder.  “Are you alright?”

                “Can we go home?” Donghae sniffed, looking up at Eunhyuk with a pained expression as he continued to hold Seunghyun close.

                “Of course,” Eunhyuk nodded, unsure where to start as he glanced at Seunghyun.  Another look at Donghae assured him that his friend would explain everything later.  “Come on, Seunghyun,” he urged, shifting over to the other side to help the taller male get to his feet, muttering under his breath when he refused to let go of Donghae.

                “No…” he practically whimpered, startling both males as they stared at each other.  It was just something Seunghyun didn’t do.  “Don’t go.”

                “Easy, baby,” Donghae soothed again, waving Eunhyuk to his side to help them stand together.  “I’m right here, see?” he asked, gathering his feet under him while the blonde awkwardly helped to haul the taller male to a standing position.  “That’s right, baby,” he encouraged when they got to their feet.  “Hold onto me now,” Donghae instructed, readjusting Seunghyun’s arms so he wasn’t bent over and still holding to him.

                Carefully, the trio made their way down the stairs and into Eunhyuk’s car, the latter making a detour to get rid of the alcohol.  Donghae sat with Seunghyun in the back, cradling his head and shoulders in his lap, arms wrapped protectively around him.  Per his request, Eunhyuk drove them to Donghae’s apartment, asking several times if they were going to be okay.

                “I can’t let him be alone right now,” Donghae explained, fingers tightening around Seunghyun’s shoulder where he held him.

                “Alright, fishy,” Eunhyuk sighed, getting out to help him with the passed out male.

                Between the two of them, they managed to sling his limp form over Eunhyuk’s back and haul him up to Donghae’s apartment with only a couple odd looks since it was late and there was no one else really up anyway.  Together, they deposited Seunghyun in Donghae’s bed.  “Thanks Hyukkie,” Donghae managed a weak smile, hugging his friend tightly in the reduced overhead lighting.

                “You’ll call me tomorrow right?” Eunhyuk prompted, still holding firm.

                “I promise,” Donghae nodded against his shoulder and stepped away, waving Eunhyuk off when he declined being seen out.

                “Just take care of him,” he explained, promising to lock up on his way.

                Quietly, Donghae shifted about, getting a large cup of water and his aspirin to set them nearby before he tackled Seunghyun’s shoes.  He debated the rest of his clothes but simply settled for removing the belt in the meantime and finally slid in with him, awkwardly pulling the covers over both of them.  As soon as he was settled, a very unconscious Seunghyun rolled over and promptly latched onto him, necessitating some adjusting on Donghae’s part.

                “I’m here, baby,” he crooned in the dark room, position slightly awkward since it was usually his role to rest under Seunghyun’s chin.  He found he didn’t mind it though and for a long time that night, he lay awake and just listened to him breathe, thinking about all manner of things.  Eventually, sleep claimed him with his arms still wrapped protectively around his lover.

                He woke first in the morning, which wasn’t surprising, but Seunghyun didn’t appear to have moved much at all, his arms still wrapped around Donghae’s waist.  In the soft light of morning, he shifted carefully and brought himself level with his boyfriend, scrutinizing his face with intent brown eyes.  The dark circles were still evident but his expression was peaceful in his repose.  Tenderly, he traced his fingers over the flawless cheek and then cupped it with his palm, smiling softly at the sleeping man.

                Though he was still unconscious, he leaned forward anyway and placed a tender kiss to the unresponsive lips, murmuring, “I love you, Seunghyunnie.”

                Reluctantly, he pried himself from the bed, untangling his limbs from the other male with some difficulty, and managed to find his phone.  It was early yet, but he was going to need to call in again.  Never mind he was much better than yesterday, he refused to leave Seunghyun alone.

                That taken care of, he called Eunhyuk and gave him a very brief rundown of the situation, declining to go into detail until he’d had a chance to speak to a fully conscious and sober Seunghyun.

                Eunhyuk didn’t like it but he understood so let it slide.  “Do you want me to come over again after work?” he asked before they ended the call.

                “I’ll let you know, Hyukkie,” Donghae smiled warmly and bid him farewell.  With a quick peek in on Seunghyun, he confirmed the other male was still sleeping though he’d shifted somewhat as if searching for the missing figure.  Humming under his breath, he disappeared into the kitchen, trying to figure out what would be good for when he woke up.  In preparation, he stuck a couple pieces of toast in the toaster but didn’t start it yet.  Bread was good for everybody when they were hungover.  He knew Seunghyun had a pretty strong constitution when it came to that stuff but he drank a lot last night…

                Satisfied, he finally crawled back into bed and sighed contentedly when Seunghyun unconsciously pulled him close again, curling around his smaller form this time.  He dozed off for a time, enjoying the moment until the other male woke up.

                “Baby?” came the soft rumble of his familiar voice, vibrating through his body and resounding pleasantly in his ears.

                “I’m here,” Donghae murmured groggily in response, coming to consciousness as he snuggled against the covered chest.  He felt lips press softly to the top of his head and he smiled, humming in contentment.  “How you doing, love?” he asked, pulling back enough to peer up at the other male, gaze searching his slightly disoriented face.

                For a moment, Seunghyun honestly debated how he felt and then groaned, “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

                Donghae nodded in understanding.  “Yeah.  Whiskey will do that to you,” he agreed, recalling his experience the night before with a considerably lesser amount.

                Seunghyun grunted at the response and fell silent.  Donghae let him sort through his thoughts, giving him time to play things out as he was likely doing.  “How did you find me last night?” he asked at last.

                “I ran out of places to look,” Donghae chuckled half-heartedly in response.

                “Yeah?” Seunghyun asked dryly, letting silence fall between them again before he added, “That place reminds me of you.  Memories and such,” he smiled, the expression obvious in his tone.

                “Me too, love,” Donghae admitted, tightening his arms again.

                “Baby?” Seunghyun asked after a moment.

                “Yeah?”

                “I need to check on Ji today,” he whispered, body tensing at the statement and Donghae could only figure he feared his response.  That hurt…

                “I know,” he agreed instead with a nod, understanding the other male was the one in the hospital.  He felt his heart speed up again when strong arms tightened around him as his lover’s body relaxed once more.

                “Will you come with me?”  The request was so soft, he almost missed it.

                “Of course, baby,” he promised sincerely, pulling his head back to peer up at the uncertain man again.

                “Thank you,” Seunghyun exhaled in relief, brow scrunching in confusion when the strangest expression crossed Donghae’s face.  “Oops,” he mumbled, ducking his head in chagrin.

                “Whiskey breath,” Donghae had to laugh, ducking his head to press against Seunghyun’s chest again.  Taking a deep breath, he finally pulled away and sat up, looking down at the reclining male on his bed.  Kneeling beside him, he placed one hand on his waist and leaned over, kissing him on the lips anyway as he turned his face to meet him.  “Whenever you’re ready, baby,” he promised, grabbing the nearest hand as he held it to his cheek.  Seunghyun nodded and smiled in return, expression truly grateful and… slightly pained.  Donghae couldn’t help but chuckle before he reached over for the water and aspirin.  “Here,” he urged, handing both off.

                Seunghyun hummed appreciatively and took him up on the offer, downing most of the liquid in one go.  With a groan, he set both back on the table and lay back down.  “Just… give me a minute,” he urged, holding up one finger with one eye closed in a rather severe wince.

                “Take your time,” Donghae smiled understandingly, bending over to give him one more kiss before he slid out of bed.  “Breakfast?” he asked, standing in the doorway, one hand resting on the frame.

                “Ugh…” Seunghyun groaned, turning into the bed.

                While that could have gone either way, Donghae gave a sympathetic smile and nodded.  Whether he wanted it or not, food would help so kitchen bound he was!  One step at a time.  That was all he could do at this point.

                For now, it was enough.

(a/n:  And done!  ^_^  Any questions, feel free to ask.  haha  Otherwise, thanks for reading!)