Chapter 12:

… I love you that much.

I read the last entry of my diary as a tear fell on its page.  It didn’t surprise me one bit that I can still feel the hurt, pain and betrayal that I’ve been trying to hide in the darkest, farthest corner of my heart.

Well.. that’s what every romance novel told me.. you’ll never forget your first love.

How true it is for me and how true the pain it caused me over the years.

Kwon Jiyong was my first love.. and my first heart break.

Another tear fell from my eyes and I quickly wipe it off before it can do more damage on the diary. I slowly closed it with both my hands and carefully placed it back inside the box.

I shouldn’t have opened it. I should’ve thrown it years ago the moment he walked out of my life. But, I couldn’t. I can’t. It was hard to let go. And as I cover the box with its cover, I know from the bottom of my heart, I couldn’t let Jiyong’s memory go.

“Dara-ah, what are you doing? They’re all waiting downstairs.” I heard my mother said and walked into my room.

I quickly pull myself together and forced a smile on my lips. “I was just cleaning my room, it’s been awhile since I’ve been here.”

I glance up and saw my mother looking at the shoe box in my lap. “What’s that?”

I stood up with the box in my hands. “ Nothing, some old stuff I collected back in high school.” I answered as I walked towards my closet and placed the box on the farthest corner, covering it with my old clothes before facing my mother.   Right, this is where it should belong. Hidden. And hopefully, soon it will be forgotten.

I could only wish.

“Did you cry?” my mother asked as she eyed me warily.

I quickly shook my head. “Nope, I think I catch a cold.” I lied.

My mother eyed me for a moment. I knew she didn’t bought my lies. She knows me too well.

Without a word, she smiled and engulf me into her arms.

I inhaled my mother’s familiar scent as I closed my eyes. Trying my best not to cry again. She held me for a few moments. We didn’t utter a word. But I knew from the beating of my mother’s heart against my chest, I knew she was trying to comfort me.

She pulled out of our embrace and look straight into my eyes. “Everything’s going to be ok. You’ll see.” She smiled once more. “C’mon, I cooked your favorite fish stew.” She winked.

 A genuine smile finally curved on my lips. “Sincha?”

My mother chuckled. “You and your obsession for foods. Let’s go.” She pulled me with her as we walk out of my room.

As we walk into the dining room, I saw my brother and my sister bickering with each other, while Donghae and my father seems to be in a deep conversation.

“Unnie!” Dami called out as soon as she saw me sat opposite her and besides Donghae. Mother walked around the table and sat on the right side of my father. “Is it true?” Dami continued.

“What?” I asked as I eyed the big bowl of fish stew in the middle of the table.

I heard Donghae chuckled beside me and whispered to my ear. “Sanghyun told Dami about Wooyoung.”

I quickly glared at my brother. “Yah! Sanghyun-ah!”

I took a quick glance at my parents, and as expected, they look confused as they stared at me.

“Noona, Dami practically forced the information from me. I swear!” Sanghyun defended, but the playful smirk on his face told me otherwise. He’s dead as soon as we’re back at Seoul.

Sanghyun, Donghae, Eunhyuk and Me shares an apartment back at Seoul. I’m currently on my 3rd yr of college, while Sanghyun is on his second year. The four of us are currently studying at Seoul University. Donghae and I enrolled on the same major, computer studies, along with Bom and Chaerin. While Eunhyuk took up fine arts and Sanghyun took up engineering. Siwon left for Japan as soon as we graduate high school. Minzy on the other hand flew to the US to finish her studies with her parents.

So it’s practically just the 6 of us who decided to live at Seoul and planned to graduate college there. And hopefully after 1 more year, we could land a stable job there too. A perfect, solid plan.

But ofcourse, there’s no such thing as perfect.

There’s Wooyoung, let’s just say, he was my 2nd boyfriend. Note the ‘was.’

“What about Wooyoung?” my father finally asked. A crease formed on his forehead.

My Father, surprisingly, accepted the fact that his baby girl, isn’t baby anymore. He knew about my relationship with Wooyoung. At first he didn’t took the information coolly, but after my mother talk to him and a lot of sweet persuasion from me, he finally give in to the idea of me having a boyfriend.

However, the relationship didn’t last long.

“Dad, we broke up.” I said without looking at him.

“What?” Dami asked bewildered. “But why?”

“It’s a long story. Dami-ah.” I sternly said as I glance at her, avoiding my father’s intense stare at me. Including Mom’s worried look.

“Don’t worry, Dad. Dara’s better off without him anyways.” Donghae calmly said.

I internally thanked the heavens for Donghae’s presence. I knew dragging his here with me, isn’t such a bad idea.

Donghae.. well, he begun calling my Dad his ‘dad’ when Mr. Lee, his father, passed away last year due to a sudden heart attack.

Yep, a lot has happened over the last  3 years since we graduate high school.

And during those times, me and Donghae had been inseparable. Though, everyone at school thought we were a couple, we always wave them off as silly assumptions. We’re friends, best friends too, and most times enemies. We’re frenemies.

“But it was Dara’s fault.” I heard Donghae added followed by a chuckle.

But father was far from amused. “Dara, if you’re just gonna play around at school, it’s much better for you to study here.”

“Don’t worry dear, she’s old enough to know how to separate her studies from those.” I heard my mother said.

I smiled and nod rapidly. “Dad, you very well know I’m good at class.” I winked, hoping to ease his tensed mood. “And besides, Donghae and Sanghyun are with me. So, I think I’m in good hands. Don’t worry. And I promise to get my college diploma in time and with flying colors too.” I cheekily smiled.

I saw my father heaved a defeated sigh. “arasso, Donghae-ah, make sure this stubborn girl do as what she promised.”

Donghae willingly pats a hand over my head. “Don’t worry dad, I will.”

The lunch went well. Dami is in his junior year in high school and based from my keen observation everytime she would glance at her phone once in awhile, I knew she’s in love. I know, cause I’ve been there. Those sparkling eyes and flustered cheeks, was all too familiar for me. I once wore them on my face almost every day. Every time I would read a text from him, or even just a missed call from him.

That’s when I realize, I’m thinking about him again.

After we finished our lunch, me and the boys bid our farewell. We still have a 4 hour drive back to Seoul, so with a final wave back at my parents and Dami, we drove off.

“Dara-ah, you still haven’t