If only I was there for you, 

with you,

next to you... Maybe you wouldn't have died. It's all my fault. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I want to die too..

'But it's not what I want.' Disappointment was obvious in the voice that seemed to echo throughout the room. But appearently not to the blonde.

LIES!

'I'll show you. I'll show you everything. I'll show you that.. you have everything even though I'm not there with you.' The voice seemed to be fading. And the image of his late lover flashed repeatedly and his lips seemed to be moving as if he were speaking, but he couldn't understand what his lover was saying. His lover then slowly turned around with the most agonizing face Kris wanted to unsee.

Tao! TAO! TAO!!

Kris shot straight up screaming Tao's name. He wiped away the tears that never stopped flowing from his eyes. 

For Kris, every morning was a nightmare. Just knowing the beginning of a new day that seemed to never pass was extremely exhausting. 

All because of that one terrifying nightmare. But the nightmare was also a memory. A memory Kris wanted to forget, but couldn't because he treasured it.  

The memory of losing his most loved one, Huang Zitao.  Zitao was Kris' everything. The only person who made him feel complete and loved. Like his other half. But ever since that day his lover passed away, nothing's been the same. 

He barely went out or worked, hell, he forgot what sunlight was. The only time he did go out was at night, getting beer with the left over money from his job.  

As he sat up in his bed, he rubbed his eyes. He slowly got out and exited his disgusting bedroom and into his messy living room. There were newspapers everywhere. They were stacked, spread, and ripped. Almost everything that was in his living room was broken. 

Kris sat down on the slightly ripped up couch. He just lay there, lifeless and very depressed. He reached for the unopened can of beer on the lobsided table in front of him. 

Then he heard strange sounds coming from his front door. The noises sounded like someone was scratching the door from the outside.

"Hey, what are you doing?" A sweet and familiar voice asked. Kris figured that his apartment manager, Suho, was trying to get Kris out of his apartment. He did something like that everyday because he pitied Kris. And Kris despised it. He hated being pitied. He didn't want people to feel sorry for him because he didn't deserve it, Tao did. 

"Stop it~!" Suho laughed,"Oh, it's Kris' door. I don't think he's going to want us to bother him. Let's g-" Kris heard him say. But the scratching sound didn't end.

"Hey, Zizi!" Suho scolded. Kris' eyes opened wide. He knew it wasn't true but he could feel a small ray of hope just from hearing that name. He quickly walked over to the door and practically swung it open.

Suho gasped, his face turning white, eyes practically popping out of his head, and jaw dropped to the floor. He was bent down and in his hands was a bunny, a bunny that resembled a panda, a panda that resembled Tao. Kris then crouched down and looked at the adorable animal.

Suho on the other hand, was frozen. He didn't even move his head, let alone face. He was just so surprised that Kris actually opened the door. Suho hasn't seen the man in about 7 months and it was strange for him to just see Kris just pop out of his apartment. Kris really changed over time. He could tell he's been crying everyday and he hasn't shaved for a long time.

The bunny then harshly kicked his hand. 

"Ow! Ya!" Suho scolded, dropping the bunny on all fours. The bunny looked at him with a guilty expression. Kris then glared at the manager.

"Don't yell at him like that!" Kris shouted.

Suho's mouth looked like it dropped down further. 'HoLy ! HE JUST YELLED AT ME!" Kris' voice seemed raspier and deeper than he remembered.

"Ya, close your mouth a fly might go in." Kris scolded, not looking at him but giving all his atention to the bunny. Suho then quickly shut his mouth but his eyes were still wide open. 

Kris held out a hand for the cute creature and the panda like bunny quickly hopped towards him. The little fuzzball sniffed his hand then bit his finger, soon it afterwards. It didn't bite him hard enough for him to bleed though.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorr--" Suho began. Kris put his index finger on the manager's mouth, telling him to shut up.

"So his name's Zizi?" Kris' voice was slightly shaky as he said 'Zizi'. 

Suho nodded, taking the dirty blonde's finger off his mouth. Kris picked up the black and white hare and held it caringly in his arms.

"Where'd you find him?" Kris looked at Suho.

"W-well.. just the other day he just hopped in front of the building doors. I was at the front desk, working before anyone even woke up.  I saw a strange little black fuzzball and went outside. The poor thing was limping so I decided to take care of it. I took him to the vet and they say he'll get better in a couple days." Suho explained, smiling.

"Why'd you name him Zizi?" Kris asked with a pained expression he tried to hide.

"When we got out of the vet's place, he began to hop in a zigzag pattern and it looked like a 'Z'. So that's why I call him Zizi." Suho smiled again,"I'm thinking of putting him up for adoption once he gets better. Oh I almost forgot, do you need a bandaid for your finger? It looks kinda bruised."

"No, it's okay. I think I have a bandaid in my bathroom. I'll get it later." Kris lied. There was definitely no bandaid in his bathroom. He told himself to get rid of anything helpful because he thought pain was what he deserved because he gave Tao the worst pain of all.

Suho then checked his watch and gasped,"Kris, I have to go to work.. Is it okay if I leave little Zizi with you until I'm done?" 

"S-sure.. but can't you take him with you? You don't have much company when you do your job and you don't do much to be honest." Kris said.

"Aish.. Ya! I do stuff! I check up on people and do lots of other things! Also there's a no pet rule so it's hard to keep the little hopper under cover. Anyways, I got to go! I'll pick Zizi up at 9:30 p.m. Bye!" Suho shouted as he ran off to the front desk. 

Without saying another word, Kris went back inside, still cupping the fuzzball in his arms. "Well, you'll be staying here with me. Sorry it's a mess."

The panda-bunny began to kick Kris' arms. He put the bunny down and it limped towards the window. It then began to bite the curtains pulling them to the side of the frame.

"What're you doing?" Kris chuckled to himself. The bunny looked longingly out to the streets. Kris saw this and shook his head.

"I can't go out. It's been too long and I don't want to see any person."

The bunny cocked its head to the side.

"It was hard enough talking to Suho. Don't look at me like that!" Kris looked away. The bunny started scratching the glass and Kris picked it up. Kris wished he didn't turn around because when he did he fell for it. The little panda bunny resembled Tao so much and when Tao wanted something, Kris always felt like giving it to him.

"FINE! We're going outside," Kris mumbled,"Suho owes me big time."

----

OMG SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED ;A; And I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this new adventure :) Hope you stay with me til the end :) Thanks!