A/N:  Hello everyone, another long chapter but my next update will take longer I think - studying chinese and China's History does kill spare time lol. So yeah. The next chapter will be the last one of Jongin's early years. Well I think. After that, three years will pass and... boom. :P Here you'll learn a bit about Jongin's and Sehun's family background. Hope you'll like it anyway.

 

      Sehun's POV

 

That morning, I made sure to wake up early. I remember how mom teased me on how it'd be nice if I were always up this early for school and not to meet some singers. Yet, she kept that beautiful and pleased smile, happy to see my own excitement. I doubt you guys care but I had a great mother. I did know it. I felt so lucky every day, looking at her cooking a meal for Kai and me in case we would get hungry on the way to school. That was one of the best thing in my simple life.

 

  "Are you going with Jongin?" I heard her scream from below as I was fixing my hair upstairs, in the bathroom.

  "Yeah, I'll drop by his house before we go there" I screamed back.

 

Before you ask or notice it, we were always screaming in this house. I use to wonder whether or not we could understand each other if we talked instead. Probably not. My mother was always asking why Jongin's voice was so soft. She would bring her face inches from his to hear him... or it might actually have been to get a closer look at his 'cute face'. I ran down the stairs and joined the lobby to wear my shoes.

 

  "Oh? He's not coming here then?" I heard the obvious disappointment in her voice. That made me chuckle.

  "Mom, is dad okay with you fangirling over your son's friend?"

  "Do you think your father would be okay with you going on an event to fanboy over girls? Some days before Christmas may I add?" She winked mischievously. I pulled a face at the point she made.

  "Okay, okay... we'll keep this a secret now!"

  "That's my son! Now, here you go, this is for you and Jongin-ah! Be careful okay?"

 

She handed me paper box bags when I was done with my shoes. I gave her a last smile and ran off to my friend's house before we could find anything else to talk about.

 

  "YAH, OH SEHUN, I STILL SEE YOUR UNDERGARMENTS. ARRANGE YOUR JEANS NOW BEFORE I COME AND DO IT MYSELF" I heard her voice behind.

  "Aish, I have a phone... do you have to scream this?" I blushed but fixed my jeans anyway, still running away.

 

*~★ ★ ★~*

 

When I was finally approaching Jongin's home -and was then out of any embarrassment made in Mrs. Oh- I had some time thinking. I knew how much my good friend hated school breaks. Each of them, I'd have him coming home or going out to make sure he wasn't spending his time working. Not that it was a bad thing but Jongin needed something else in his life other than studies, right? How was that healthy?

However, recently, that fellow had opened up to other things. And other people too. He started listening to different music. He was active on the school's dance club. He would talk to the guys of our year, even if it was mostly about the same topics: dance, music... and Seo Nyu Shi Dae. It was so weird that the Kim Jongin I knew since I was In diappers liked this band. I wasn't sure the reason why, if it was because Starry Girl liked the band, or because he really enjoyed their music or even if it was just a coincidence. I could just notice it revolved mostly around that band. And he kinda looked more alive than he was when studying or acting nerdy in any other way.

 

Although, sometimes, Jongin's face would display that poker face he always had before. I kind of hoped he wasn't going back to his old self. I was so happy and impressed by his dancing, his smile and satisfied self, how could I let him eventually stop? I didn't want him to go back to his dull and numb self. So when I saw that SNSD event, I was like "it's for us". I applied to the fandom for the two of us and now, here we were about to have the moment of our fanboys' life.

 

I texted Jongin that I was in front of his house and waited. Meanwhile, I looked at the house with nostalgy. It had been a while since I last went in. Jongin and I used to play so much in his garden. We had built a wooden cabine there with his parents' help and pretended to be two grown-up men, living there with their family and fighting against monsters to protect it. I smiled at the memory. 'Psssht, protect what? We could barely open the cabine's door without nearly falling on our butts...'

 

I shook my head chuckling but lift it when I heard the door opening. My smile dropped a bit when I saw Jongin's expression. His eyebrows were frowned and no smile could be seen. His arms were stuffed with his jacket, beanie, scarf and sweater as if he was in a hurry. And he looked tired, really tired. The teen boy abruptly slammed the door behind him and quickly hurtled down the front steps of his house.

 

  "Hey" he greeted me with that flat tone I feared to hear, trying to quickly wear his sweater.

 

I calmly watched the scene until he was fully dressed and stuck the paper box bag in his face. Forcefuly, a smile curved my lips and I warmed my throat to honour my family's speciality... please, the infamous oh-scream-talking.

 

  "OH FAMILY SPECIAL DELIVERY!"

  "Oooww! I'm standing right in front of you now, why screaming?" I smiled a bit more at his whinning.

  "Yah, you're still asking this question?! Only a nerd like you would think this question actually have an answer. IT DOESN'T. IT WON'T EVER!" I sang happily ignoring his glare.

 

I didn't wait for him and started to make my way to the bus. What did he think? That it was a day to act like the grumpy grandpa he usually is? No way. That's not why we woke up so early for.

 

      Jongin's POV

 

I looked at the back of my silly friend but eventually rolled my eyes at his antics. He was definitely his mother's son so far. In the future, I kinda hoped that he'd grow a bit more like his father. But honestly thinking, at that moment, I liked to have that cheerful and crazy Sehun. I knew we won't be like that, together, forever so I was glad it was this way at the moment. Ha... the day Oh Sehun would become a man for a woman and to build a family... I didn't want to think of what would happen to me.

 

As I followed the boy down the road, I glanced at the bag in my hands. The good smell managed to draw a smile on my lips. Once again, Mrs. Oh thought of the two of us and cooked yummy snacks. Some days, these bags were the only thing helping me in my daily routine, in my life. The only thing beside studies and Sehun. The heartwarming meals of a mother. Things I wasn't supposed to have since mom passed away. But thanks for my friend's mother, I still somehow have them.

I took one pancake and bit it hungrily while waiting for the bus.

 

That's only when we were half-way, in the bus already, that stress slowly took over. I had barely slept the night before so it took some time for me to realise. I would meet her again, Im YoonA. After some ridiculously long months, I'd see her again. As a fan... among others. Many others. I sighed. Did I have to expect anything from this? Would she remember my face? I doubted it. Though, just the idea of seeing hers made me all bubbly. That was weird... Was I acting like a girl or was it normal even for me?

 

  "What are you blushing for? The thought of your SNSD bias or Starry Girl?" Sehun teased. "Do you think she'll be there?"

  "That's the question I'm asking myself..."

 

When I see her again, will I see that air-head girl I met that evening? Will YoonA and Starry Girl be one and only girl again? Or will my... crush be a one-day illusion? Will I only see that album-seller and face-of-the-band girl?

 

  "After all this time, you're still thinking about her... Who would have known this?" Sehun said, closing his eyes.

 

I turned my gaze from his sleepy face to the glass next to me. I just blankly stared at the houses, trees, kids and people outside the bus, trying to just think about something relaxing. Anything but home and last night. I closed my eyes and unconsciously, my mind played that first encounter with Im YoonA.

 

       Please. Be real. 

 

*~★ ★ ★~*

 

  "Is that for real?" I almost shrieked in disbelief. "What did you put me in again, Oh Sehun?"

  "Hey, it's a girls band. And with really pretty ones, what did you expect? A few boys in glasses and suspenders sitting there playing chess?"

 

I hit his arm and glared at him.

 

  "I'm not that much of a nerd..." I grunted but sighed when looking back at the crowd in front of us.

  "Then you shouldn't be surprised" he shrugged and got in the queue.

 

I sighed once more but followed him. Staring at the crowd full of boys wouldn't do me any good anyway. Many of them had brought posters, paper fans, pictures, albums... Dang it. I didn't even buy their album. I had just realized this... Jeez, I had brought nothing. It was hard to resist the hurge I had to smack my head.

 

  "Yah, I didn't even bring anything for her to sign..." I told him, panic clearly displayed in my eyes.

 

His mouth hung open at this.

No. Please, no. Don't tell me he had no idea either, you better don't tell me he didn't...

We were staring at each other like idiots when a peculiar laughter caught our attention. Our heads snapped simultaneously to face the origin of the unfamiliar sound. We found ourselves looking at an older looking boy right behind us. He seemed only slightly older though, had sharp eyes, nicely styled hair and was well-dressed. In short, he gave that sort of elegant feeling.

 

  "Sorry for disturbing but you both looked like it was the end of your world" he tried to keep a serious face but I could clearly see his amusement.

 

To me, even if I wasn't really familiar with that area yet, he looked like a celebrity. It was kind of amazing...

Unknowingly, Sehun and I blinked at him for a while and massaged our respective necks when we snapped out of our daze. That seemed to increase his amusement as he chuckled.

 

  "I'm Jung Heechul" he extended a hand but I stared at his cold-looking face. That guy was a living contradiction, warm in his words, cold in attitude.

  "Oh Sehun and this is my friend, Kim Jongin" Sehun shook his hand first while introducing us. I just nodded with a slight polite smile.

  "I heard you were talking about a special member that you didn't bring anything for her to sign..." he said looking at me.

  "Yeah... I somehow got carried away..." I bit my lip.

  "It's fine, we are like that here" he smirked. "Who it is? Your favourite member I mean"

  "Im YoonA!" Sehun answered for me, with a joyful and excited face... that kid...

  "Then I guess I can help you... wait"

 

Jung Heechul pulled out a huge book - it looked like one at least, and he started to turn the pages. He stopped at one point, his eagle-like eyes looking the page up and down, as if to make sure.

 

  "Here, I won't do anything of it so you can have it for her to sign"

 

I looked up at him, surprised, but took the poster anyway and stared at it. I gave a small smile, seeing then YoonA's sweet and happy expression on the picture. Beautiful...

 

  "Don't you have anything for me?" Sehun pouted.

  "Alright, who is your favourite?"

  "Hmm... Tiffany or maybe Jessica" my friend wondered.

  "If it's Jessica, I can't do anything for you, dongsaeng" the sharp guy firmly stated.

  "Why is that? Don't you have anything about her?"

  "I don't have anything... yeah... for someone else." He smirked and I couldn't help but laugh a little at this. "So how about Tiffany being your favourite?"

  "I guess this way would do" Sehun pouted but still beamed happily at the given poster.

 

We talked a bit with that Heechul and he was sure a cool young man. He told us he was from Jeju-do but came to Seoul in order to find a way to live by himself. He wanted to be independant as soon as possible and make his dream come true. I thought he was one cool guy. He wasn't embarrassed to just say his intentions or what was on his heart. The way he talked about Jung Jessica... he sure was so open about it. In short, Jung Heechul was free.

 

  "Is it okay for us all to be fanboying like that?" Sehun suddenly asked, chuckling.

  "You know..." started Heechul "Even if I'm no one to her right now, is it something bad liking her? If it's the way I feel, what can I do? Fool myself and miss a chance to live this to the fullest? Even if I later find I was immature, I prefer this rather than to run a life that doesn't suit my curent self. What bad am I fearing now, uh? If they don't like it or if it's too much, I expect them to say where my limit is. But right now, the limit isn't set so..."

Those words were impressive at first but it didn't make sense right away to me.

And they escaped my mind.

 

Soon his friends joined and just in case, we exchanged numbers so we could tell him "how it went with our bias". We waited five more minutes and the door of the building finally opened. Slowly we all made our way in. I bit my lips, knowing the moment was coming.

From the distance I could perfectly see her angelic-looking self and then again my heart started pounding. And the closer I was getting, the faster and louder it seemed to beat. I enjoyed the performance held before the signing but quickly stood in the line afterwards, under Heechul hyung's advice. It was long but I enjoyed that time, talking with Sehun and forgetting about home. There was only a few people left in front of us when I felt my phone ringing. I felt like all my blood left my body and I froze.

 

I let it ring three times, not knowing if I should look at the caller ID. But I knew... I knew it very well. So I pulled it out anyway, seeing my father's number. I sighed, closed my eyes and answered it.

 

  "Father..."

  "You little- Where are you?" Dear... Just by his tone, I knew he still was in a bad shape.

  "I'm out with Sehun, I won't be home anytime soon"

  "Whatever... just the usual..." I grimaced at this. "Answer me now. Where is it?"

  "What are you talking about?"

  "You know what!" he barked and I squinted my eyes a bit. But yeah, I knew what he was looking for.

  "So that's why you called me after all...?" I smirked but wasn't pleased at all. "If that's all I'm busy, I'll call you later maybe. I'm hanging up"

  "I'll call your sisters then!"

 

My eyes hardened at this. I looked back at Sehun and excused myself. I couldn't stay there and have this conversation with everyone around. I had to do this and quick. I made my way to a random but silent corridor and finally talked again.

 

  "You promised you would leave them alone!" I spatted angrily.

  "They're my daughters. I can call them all I want, especially if you don't behave, Jongin"

  "It's been a while since you last acted like a father to them... Don't be all family like whenever you are looking for your rubbish!"

  "Just tell me where the freaking cupboard keys are!" He raised his voice again.

  "There are where you won't find them anymore"

  "Don't play smart with me Kim Jongin, it's easier if you play along you know it"

  "Easier? To let you drink all day long and have to look for you around the neighbourhood like crazy all night, in fear you made yourself more pathetic? Is that easier? I'm done, I had enough of it for today. Leave my sisters and find the keys of your stupid alcohol yourself, I'm not helping you"

 

With that, I hung up, tired and out of breath. I couldn't take it anymore. That's what I thought as I stared at my phone. But it wasn't the first time I thought this. And I'd always manage to stand his bad habits and his temper... again and again. But it was this or my sisters would have to deal with it. And they were at an age they deserved to think about their own lives. I wasn't done with my studies yet so it was normal I'd stick home.

I sighed. Somehow it pained me...

Mentally, in my heart... but physically too. I realised I had been holding onto something sharp out of anger and it cut my hand. It was already bleeding a bit. Great.

 

  "Come on, it's no first time though..." I whispered and headed to the restroom.

 

I needed to wash my hand. I needed some fresh splashes of water. I needed a clear mind to face YoonA. I needed......

My tired body managed to reach the doors of the restroom, even if it still is a mystery how. I was about to enter the men's when the ladies' door opened to reveal a familiar face.

All my past worries were forgotten instantly as I stared into these brown doe-like eyes.

Im YoonA...

 

  "Oh... it's you...?" She stared at my face.

 

She frowned a bit as if trying to remember. Meanwhile I had turned into a living stone. She was there when I least expected it. When I least wanted her to see me. I didn't want to feel tired and mad when facing her but somehow, I felt everything but bad at the moment.

 

  "Ah, right, at that high school's gymnasium... right?" She smiled, remembering.

 

I gave a thankful sigh at this and smiled. My heart was fluttering foolishly, quickly recovering from the tiring call earlier. That sweet smile could, like, solve everything. I had been longing to see it again. I had been longing for this familiar comforting feeling.

 

  "It was real, all of this..." I mumbled without knowing, relieved.

  "Excuse me?" She frowned again and I felt stupid.

 

But it's okay, I thought. That's when I started to remember Heechul hyung's words. It was okay if I felt or was actually stupid. It didn't feel bad at that moment. And the limit between us wasn't set yet. She acted so friendly...

Ha, no limit right? That's what a huge guy thought too, blocking suddenly the beautiful sight I had to push me away. I shook my head, not understanding what was happening.

 

  "Quit harrassing her and leave fast before I kick your !"

 

My eyes widened at the tall and intimidating bodyguard.

 

  "I was just-"

  "You didn't hear me well, UH?" He was coming towards me but a voice stopped his tracks.

  "No it's okay" he froze. "It's not that strange guy... actually it's an old friend of mine..."

  "Oh... sorry for misunderstanding" the large figure bowed to her and totally ignored me.

  "I'll be coming" was her words so he would leave. "Sorry for that... I got them scared already, they're under pressure..."

 

I nodded, massaging my hands in discomfort. Her eyes widened.

 

  "Omo, your hand... it's bleeding"

 

I looked down at it and sure enough some blood could be seen but nothing much... If I hadn't hold onto that thing earlier...

 

  "It's fine..." I assured but she shook her head slightly.

  "It's all my fault... let me see, can I?"

 

She asked, pointing to my hand. I blinked absent-mindedly at this, making her chuckle.

 

  "I won't hurt you but if you don't want-"

  "You can!" I blurted out, sticking my hand to her.

 

She gave an amused smile and gently took my hand. Her look became then serious as she examined it. Her fingertips run on my skin and my wild heart jumped. It was like a magnet and YoonA was another one, so that my heart would jump only in her presence. At the same time a shiver ran all the way from my arm and down my spine.

 

  "Fortunately it doesn't look too bad" she beamed and there again I was left fascinated. "you should clean it... I'm sorry, I don't remember your name"

  "I'm Kim Jongin!" My answer was as fast as my heartbeats. I realised it so I took a breath and repeated, "It's Kim Jongin..."

  "What kind of friend forget their friends' name uh?"

 

She asked, refering to what she told that security guy. We both gave a small laugh.

 

  "Hey, Kim Jongin... maybe it sounds arrogant but... do you want me to sign this?" She mentioned the poster trapped in between my arm and my ribcage. Her face could obviously be seen on it. I blushed.

  "Well, if you don't mind...?"

 

She nodded and I handed it to her, scratching the back of my head. I stared as she signed it, knowing I wouldn't see her that close anytime. That thought made me feel weird. I frowned at it.

 

  "Here you g- hey, you sure it's alright?" My eyes drove themselves in hers for a while.

  "Octantis..." was the only thing that felt okay to be said.

  "Hm?" She was confused. Who wouldn't at this?

  "The blue shining star you were looking at, it's Octantis right?"

  "Oh. Indeed... so you still remember this..." of course I do... "You seem like a good person, Jongin-ah... A cute boy, it's refreshing to see you" she smiled softly. "I must go now, don't forget to clean your hand at least, okay? I hope we can meet again!"

 

'Who knows...?' That sentence haunted me again. I knew it would stick in my mind for the next months and for some reason, at this, I panicked.

 

  "Not as a fan" I blurted out to her back. She turned to face me.

  "Sorry?" Her eyes were wide. 'Live to the fullest'

  "Im YoonA, I, Kim Jongin, fell in love with you... So I won't meet you as a fan, nor as a friend... In the future, I want to- no, I will meet you... as a man."