Chapter 11: Accidental Confessions

Just to clarify something before we proceed. I realised that I haven't addressed the fact that I'm portraying Sehun's character as one with Asperger's. I don't wish to offend anyone who is diagnosed with the condition and I'm writing it according to my experience with a cousin of a friend who has mild Asperger's (she's a lovely person, btw). Anything I'm not sure of I usually do a bit of research.  As any other conditions, different people have varying forms of Asperger's.

In this story, Sehun suffers from one that's on the milder end of the spectrum, and he has troubles with his speech (as we've established). So it's common for him to stutter a little. That's what his speech therapy is for.

If you are bothered by anything I write, do let me know. Like I've said, I don't wish to offend anyone and this is purely developed for the story's plot.

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Baekhyun watched with a small, proud smile as Sehun repeated after the therapist, grinning whenever she complimented him for a good job done. He gave a wave through the glass windows when Sehun's lips pulled into a wide smile as soon as he saw his father. 

"He's doing well, isn't he?"

A deep voice startled Baekhyun as he whirled around to see Chanyeol standing awfully close to him. Instinctively, he took a step back to place some distance between them.

"Yeah," he said shortly, glancing away to look at their son again. Silence settled between them for a good few minutes before the class was dismissed and Sehun was running out the door and into Baekhyun's awaiting arms.

"Did you have a good time, baby?" Baekhyun asked, nuzzling into his neck and laughing when Sehun squirmed from the ticklish feeling. Baekhyun felt his son nod against him, before pulling away to witness the grin he flashed. Baekhyun would have liked for Sehun to talk, since he had been making considerably good progress, but he was just glad Sehun wasn't in a fit anymore and that he had forgiven Baekhyun for that unspeakable incident.

Baekhyun was suddenly reminded of his ex-husband's presence when he saw a large hand pinching Sehun's cheek. He angled his head slightly to look at Chanyeol.

"Did you bring the papers?" Baekhyun asked, attempting to be keep his tone civilized but failing still. It still sounded harsh, and Sehun flinched slightly in his hold.

"Yeah, about that..." Chanyeol trailed off as he hurried to open his briefcase. Baekhyun could already tell from his tone that there just had to be something else. So much for wanting to settle this as quickly as possible. Chanyeol extricated a bunch of collated papers and flipped to a page somewhere in the middle.

"I was looking through them as I was signing, and I noticed some mistakes," Chanyeol explained as he pointed to a paragraph. Somewhere along the way of Chanyeol''s explanation, Baekhyun found himself struggling to keep up with the technical jargon he was throwing around and when Chanyeol ended with a questioning gaze, Baekhyun could only blink stupidly at the tall man. After all, he hadn't furthered his studies any more than he had to. Anything to do with the divorce had been left to his lawyer friend to handle. 

"Yixing made a few mistakes, so I'll have to hand it back to him so he can fix them," Chanyeol repeated. It wasn't like their Chinese friend to make such careless mistakes. But, of course numerous blatantly obvious errors could be found in the legal documents. Anything to put off the finalization of their divorce. It sounded exactly like what Yixing would do. He was just fortunate he was capable of doing so.

"Alright, whatever you say," Baekhyun huffed. "But make it as quick as possible. We need to settle this soon."

He stalked away with Sehun still in his arms, making his way to the hospital's carpark where Chanyeol had parked the car. He settled Sehun into the passenger's seat and gave him a peck on the cheek and a see you soon. Baekhyun stood by the side, watching as Chanyeol got into the driver's seat, waiting to wave them off.

As soon as Chanyeol was inside, though, a small hand curled around the fabric of his sleeves and tugged at it. He turned to face his son who had called for his attention.

"What is it, baby?" Chanyeol asked, knowing full well Sehun wouldn't answer with words. Instead, his son's rounded eyes casted to his other father standing outside, his free hand moving to point at Baekhyun.

"You want to say goodbye to daddy?" Sehun shook his head.

"You want daddy to come?" Another shake of his head and a frustrated sigh.

"I'll call daddy over, okay?" Chanyeol finally said, making Sehun bounce in his seat.

"Baekhyun, Sehun wants to talk to you." Chanyeol relayed the message, beckoning for the other to come. Baekhyun shot him a confused glance but went over to Sehun's side of the car, opening the door so he could bend down and talk to his son at face level. Sehun doesn't say anything, though. Instead, he turned to Chanyeol once more and used both his hands to push the other out of the car.

"You want me to get out? You want me out of the car so you can talk to daddy privately?" Chanyeol chuckled, mildly amused at his son's request. Sehun gave a quick nod of his head and a comically stern expression.

Once Chanyeol was out of earshot, Baekhyun looked questioningly to his son as he ran a hand through his dark locks. Sehun's mouth opened and closed a few times, and if Baekhyun didn't know better, he would think that Sehun was trying to form the words in his head with his mouth. Just seeing his son try after months of countless tiring setbacks made him swell with pride, even more than what he'd felt back at the hospital during the therapy lesson.

Finally, finally, a small voice cracked through the barrier from the tiny body of the five year old, "Daddy..."

A flood of emotions engulfed Baekhyun as his eyes prickled with grateful tears. 

"Yes, baby?" Baekhyun pressed, his heart leaping with excitement. It has been far too long since he'd heard his second son calling him daddy, and the moment is all too precious for Baekhyun who had been longing for this. The hand that had been playing with Sehun's hair fell to caress a cheek.

"Don't leave appa," Sehun whispered in the quietest tone. The words hit him like a train running at full speed. Here he was, rejoicing over the fact that his son was finally beginning to speak again -- the one thing he has been praying hard for -- and his request is one Baekhyun is unable to fulfill. It was something he has to do. There was no other choice. That was the only way everyone would be happy, as ironic as it was. In that few seconds it took for Baekhyun to craft an answer that wouldn't upset Sehun and cause him to retreat into his shell, Baekhyun had a fleeting thought about how wrong Sehun was; Baekhyun wasn't leaving Chanyeol. If Baekhyun had a choice, that would have never been it. 

Baekhyun forced back the wave of sadness that hit him and melted into a small smile, "Sehunnie, it's the only way we'll all be happy again. Don't you want to be happy? Don't you want appa to be happy?"

Sehun thought about it for awhile before giving a small nod. But then his lips parted again, words tumbling out as he poured out the emotions he'd been holding inside for a long time, "J-Jongin hyung said you and appa were happy before I came."

Baekhyun stared at his second son warily, confusion edging its way into his features.

"Daddy, d-do you wish I was never born?" Baekhyun's heart stopped dead at his words, seemingly frozen in time. Even when it began to beat again, it thrummed hard against the walls of hia constricting chest. There was nothing but overwhelming horror and sadness at the revelation of his son's thoughts.

"No," Baekhyun said after composing himself, both hands moving to cup Sehun's face, "Never."

"B-But you and appa and Jongin-hyung were happier r-right?" Sehun asked, the question seemingly innocent to him. But Baekhyun wasn't having any of that. It terrified him to think Sehun has been having such thoughts. Sehun's claims had never even crossed his mind before this. Sadly, Baekhyun couldn't really say the same for Chanyeol. The taller man had once mentioned of how things between them started to go sour ever since the discovery of their second son's special needs. Nevertheless, Baekhyun knew Chanyeol loved Sehun regardless. He was just really bad at expressing himself in the right way. Both of them were heartbroken with the news but the difference was that Chanyeol went about throwing himself into work whereas Baekhyun struggled to keep things together, picking up the pieces Chanyeol so carelessly threw about.

"No, baby," Baekhyun struggled to get his words out as he tried to keep his composure, "It's not you... none of this is your fault. It's not anybody's fault." But mine for being foolish and holding onto Chanyeol even though I'd seen the signs.

"If anything, it's mine. I should have..." Baekhyun sighed, glancing away for a moment. Sehun was too young to understand his thoughts. If Baekhyun was given a chance, he would have done it all over again, in a way that wouldn't put his kids through the heartbreak of seeing their parents have an irreparable falling out. Baekhyun lifted his eyes and made Sehun look at him again.

"We've never wished for you to be gone," Baekhyun affirmed, quietly but fervently. "You and Jongin... both of you are the most amazing thing that's ever happened to us. We wouldn't change it for the world."

Baekhyun glanced up at Chanyeol who shot him a small, hesitant smile. Baekhyun's previous annoyance towards him faded and he knew he could never really stay mad at him. He could put on a tough and seemingly rude front but he knows deep down that nothing could ever make him hate Chanyeol.

"Now, I don't want you thinking that way anymore, understood?" Baekhyun tugged onto his ear when he turned his attention back to his son, causing the boy to giggle as he pulled at his father's ear in retaliation. 

"Promise me you won't, Sehun," Baekhyun asserted as he held his little finger out. Sehun linked his own smaller one with his father's and grinned.

"Pinky promise, daddy."

"I love you, Sehun."

"I love you too, daddy. Soooo much." Baekhyun's eyes prickled with grateful tears as he thanked God for giving him a chance to fix things with his son.

And in that moment where he leaned in to kiss Sehun's forehead, all the bull that had come with his separation from Chanyeol faded away into the background.

+

Despite having a few days off to settle the welfare of his kids, Baekhyun still walked through the doors of the pub that night with a sense of dread tingling beneath his skin, leaving an infuriating itch behind.

"Are you feeling better?" Kris asked the moment he set his eyes upon the star of his business. There was genuine curiosity in his words but did little to soothe the uneasiness he'd been feeling all day.

"Yeah," Baekhyun responded with a stiff nod and a small trained smile. Kris didn't look too convinced but he nodded with an encouraging clasp to the younger man's shoulder anyway. 

"How are your kids?"

"They're good." This time, the smile came naturally. Things had been looking up, if Baekhyun were to be honest. The animosity between Chanyeol and him had gone down a notch, strangely but very well so, after that unplanned meeting with Jongdae. The kids were finally beginning to show signs of accepting the reality that their parents were no longer in love with each other and that they were to live separately from here on.

"Glad to hear that. When's the proceedings?" Kris handed him a glass of soda before studying the makeup around his eyes.

"There's no official date for it yet. My husband has yet to sign the papers. There's been a bit of a mix up so he's looking to get it fixed first," Baekhyun explained, surprised at how comfortable he seemed to be around his boss despite the latter's intimidating persona. Although rather cold at first, once Baekhyun got to know of the softer, kinder, side of the tall blond, Baekhyun couldn't help but feel as if they'd established a friendship rather than just work relations.

"Just let me know when you'll need the time off. I'll grant you a paid leave." Kris gave a warm knowing smile that should have reassured Baekhyun. Instead, it piqued Baekhyun's wariness as he shot the man a wry smile.

"What's the catch?" 

"It's not a catch," Kris muttered rather ambiguously. He reached a finger up to smooth out Baekhyun's eyeliner that had smudged in the corner. The gesture startled Baekhyun but he stayed unmoving, allowing the man to do so.

"It's just an unconventional assignment," Kris said with a heavy gaze. "You think you're up for it?"

"I don't have to do anything... I don't want to, right?" Baekhyun asked, not quite liking the shroud of dubiety over the blond man's eyes.

"Oh, no, of course not," Kris waved a dismissive hand in the air, efficiently vanquishing the uncertainty that had loomed over them. "I wouldn't let you, or any of my other employees for that matter, get involved in anything that's against the rules. I may bend them every once in awhile but I'm a man of honour. I abide by the rules."

"It won't be very convenient to have a police order on our hands, would it?" Kris meant it in a joking manner but it still made the little hairs on Baekhyun's arms stand.

"So you up for it?"

"You'll pay me despite my absence, right?" Kris confirmed with a nod.

"Can I request for one other thing?" 

"What is it?"

"Can I... Can I get a raise?" Baekhyun asked shyly, lowering his gaze just slightly.

"Just enough for me to save enough so I can pay for the proceedings," Baekhyun added quickly. "I'll promise to work harder. I know I've been rather hesitant but I'll ditch the attitude and do better!"

Kris pondered over it for awhile, arms crossed as he observed the hopefulness in the young man's eyes. 

"Alright," Kris conceded. 

"Okay," Baekhyun replied with an appreciative smile. "So, this client you were talking about?"

"Right," Kris clapped his hands together. "He's one of our wealthiest clients but he only makes an appearance once in a few months. He's Chinese, and when he comes down here for business, he usually drops by our place the night before he goes back to... unwind."

Baekhyun gulped at Kris' choice of words. He already didn't like the sound of this client, but after Kris' reassurance that nothing bad was going to happen, Baekhyun thought he should just give it a shot. After all, Kris did say that he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to.

"All you have to do is do what you do here, in the back rooms. Only difference is, you'd have to provide your company at the hotel he owns in town."

"That doesn't sound... too bad," Baekhyun tried to give a positive response but he was already fretting in his mind.

"Like I said, there's nothing more you need to do. Just the usual, but at a place of his convenience is all," Kris hurried to explain. 

Despite the nagging voice in the back of his mind, Baekhyun nodded with a hard swallow. "Alright, I'll do it."

+

No matter what Baekhyun had told himself before about not wanting to come by Chanyeol's office unless absolutely necessary (seeing Jongdae again would only cause greater heartbreak), he still found himself walking through the glass doors of the building's lobby a few days later with Chanyeol claiming he had to pick the kids up from his workplace for his turn of the care of their children.

He hadn't been expecting to bump into his ex-husband on his way to where the elevators were but as soon as they exchanged a courteous greeting, they rode up in silence together, standing on extreme ends of the elevator.

"They're waiting for you in my office," Chanyeol said conversationally when the other person who had been in the elevator with them got off at the 4th level. Baekhyun shot him a fleeting smile and impatiently casted his eyes up at the number displayed on the top when the doors closed once more. Twelve more floors to go. He could do this.

"Jongin told me about his trip."

"Oh, right," Baekhyun mentally slapped himself. He hadn't meant to keep it from Chanyeol but it had genuinely slipped from his mind. "It's this weekend, and he'll be gone for a week so you won't get to see him till the following week."

"I asked him about the cost of the trip..." Chanyeol started, and Baekhyun could already sense where this was going. "...He says you'll be paying everything?"

Baekhyun nodded, lips pursed, not wanting to pursue the subject any further. He didn't want to have an argument, one that was bound to happen should he tell of his plans. Not when they had been rather amiable. And certainly not when they were both in a confined area, within close proximity. It was bad enough Baekhyun was a little claustrophobic. He didn't want anything to make things worse. 

There was a minute sigh before Chanyeol spoke again, "Baekhyun, you know I've got the kids' education covered. You could have asked me for--"

"--That's the thing, Chanyeol," Baekhyun cut him off, sounding more exasperated than he was mad. "I just-- can you just give this to me? Let me handle this on my own. What's yours is now yours and I don't want to touch any of that. Let me provide for them as a parent. They have two fathers, not just one."

Chanyeol bit on his lip as he observed the other who had his eyes trained on the ground. 

"Baekhyun, there's something I've been thinking about," Chanyeol started again once the tension from the previous conversation had simmered down a little. There was a small ding and the elevator stopped at the 8th level where a young woman entered with a file in hand. Baekhyun moved back a little to allow give her some space, and Chanyeol followed suit, wanting to continue his train of thoughts but not wanting to talk over the lady.

"Y-You've met Jongdae, and--" Chanyeol stuttered slightly, hesitation in his tone.

"--Chanyeol, not now," Baekhyun interrupted under his breath. He swallowed hard, caught off guard at the sudden mention of Jongdae. There was another ding and the lady got off on the 10th floor, leaving them both alone once again.

"Things have been better between us," Chanyeol began a little louder, no intentions of stopping or being cut off again, "And I thought it would be good if we could keep things this way. We should... we should be friends."

Baekhyun's breath got caught as he struggled to comprehend Chanyeol's seemingly ingenuous suggestion. His eyes flew to the other's face, studying the hundred lines of anticipation creased into his forehead.

"I don't think it's a good idea..."

"Why not?" Chanyeol looked sincerely taken aback, as if he had been certain Baekhyun wouldn't have any qualms to agreeing to be his friend. They'd been rather... polite, and possibly even a tad bit caring towards each other, lately and Chanyeol thought it was the right time for his request. "I mean, it'll be better, wouldn't it? Jongin and Sehun would love for us to be friends. What's wrong with--"

"--What's wrong?" Baekhyun asked incredulously, whipping his head to face the towering man. "What's wrong, you ask? Don't you see, Chanyeol?"

"See... what? What am I missing, Baek?"

Baekhyun let out an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself. "We can't be friends, it doesn't work that way--"

His words were cut off when there was a sudden jerk of the elevator, causing him to stumble forward. An arm was quick to wrap around his waist to pull him back before he was met with the ground. Flustered at the contact, Baekhyun pried himself away and took to sticking himself against the wall instead, breathing heavily at what had just happened.

"Are we...?"

"...Yeah," Chanyeol groaned. "We're stuck."

Baekhyun stormed forward and frantically pressed all the buttons, any button, as long as it would help them get out of this mess.

"You need to press the emergency button," Chanyeol called from where he was leaning in the corner.

"Oh."

Moments later, a voice sounded over the intercom, asking for what the problem was.

"Hi, it seems like we're stuck in the elevator," Baekhyun stated the obvious. "Could you get us out?"

"Hi Sir, there has been a short circuit in the entire building but we're now looking to fix it." There was a murmur of voices over the line before the person spoke again. "Oh! The technicians seem to have fixed the problem. It should start up again in less than a few."

"Alright, thanks." There was a click, and Baekhyun leaned his forehead against the space beside the column of buttons, breathing heavily through his mouth. It had been barely five minutes but he could already feel the effect of his phobia creeping in.

"Hey, you okay?" The deep voice called from behind him. Baekhyun merely nodded his head in response, but anyone could tell he wasn't fine.

"You sure?" Chanyeol asked once more, this time concern heavy in his tone.

"No," Baekhyun admitted sheepishly. "But I'll be fine as soon as they get this goddamn lift to start moving again."

Chanyeol moved a little closer and hesitantly reached out a hand to rub Baekhyun's back soothingly. 

"Just, breathe, okay?" It was easier said than done, but Chanyeol was, is, home to Baekhyun and his voice and hands brought more comfort to him than anything else could. Just as the operator had mentioned, the elevator jerked back to life in a span of a few minutes (which truly felt like hours to Baekhyun) and as quickly as they started moving, Chanyeol's hand disappeared from his back.

"Hey, Baek," Chanyeol grabbed onto his hand as soon as they were outside his office, having had an internal battle with himself to continue with the conversation after the incident in the elevator that had Baekhyun shaken up.

For once, Baekhyun stopped and turned to look at Chanyeol, his expression free of hostility.

"What were you going to say back there?" Chanyeol asked. "Why can't we be friends?"

Baekhyun took a deep breath, making a split decision to confess to Chanyeol once and for all. 

With a wry smile, he spoke, "Because, I'm still in love with you, Chanyeol. I haven't stopped loving you, and seeing you with Jongdae just..."

"It won't end well for either of us." Baekhyun affirmed with a loud exhale of breath. He spun around on his heels and opened the door to greet his kids inside, leaving Chanyeol completely stumped from his ex-husband's confession.

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