Chapter One: Remembrance

 

It was November 27^th, 1994 when Chanyeol first met Baekhyun.

 

Chanyeol remembers it to be a cold winter evening due to an unusually heavy downpour. His friends had dragged him to a dingy little underground strip club just minutes from his house to celebrate his 16^th birthday. They had claimed that 16 was the revolutionary age whereby one experiences change in life that determines the rest of your life to come. Of course, Chanyeol had scoffed at this and whined for his friends to stop manhandling him and to take off the goddamn blindfolds they’d tied over his eyes to prevent him from peeking.

 

Chanyeol had heard the murmurs of old men conversations and the sounds of numerous mugs of beers being set on the wooden countertop as his friends forced him onto a bar stool before his blindfold was taken off.

 

The minute the black silky material was removed from his eyes, he blinked a few times to adjust to the dimly lit surroundings, and when the blurred figures finally morphed into crystal clear images, his eyes set themselves upon the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen.

 

“Happy birthday!”

 

His friends chorused in a mixture of laughter and glee as they swirled his stool around such that he was facing the countertop instead as a few of them ordered a few bottles of beer, exclaiming that Chanyeol’s was going to be on them since it was his night to enjoy.

 

But Chanyeol didn’t want to drink. He didn’t want to sit on the green worn-out leather stool. He didn’t want to listen to his friend’s lame crude jokes.

 

He wanted to get a better glimpse of the boy in the tight black leather jeans and maroon fitting v-necked t-shirt that clung to the small frame of his body.

 

“I’m going to the washroom. I’ll be right back.”

 

He muttered fleetingly at his friends who already seemed to be lost in their hubbub of usual banter and mirth.

 

Chanyeol weaved through the crowd of people, trying his best to ignore the disgusting catcalls and cheers from grimy men with toothless grins who were getting excited at the sight of a young muscled man, who had dressed up as a police officer, stripping onstage the mini platform in the middle of the room. His sight was set only on the petite boy who was now seated at one of the mini round tables with another man.

 

In the last few steps he took to reach them, his goofy grin turned into a scowl when he realized that the bald man was inappropriately running his grubby hand up and down the length of the boy’s arm, occasionally letting his long, dirty fingernails dig into the boy’s pale skin. What made him really mad, though, was the fact that the boy was clearly uncomfortable with the gesture, trying his best to squirm away from the man, but the git refused to let go of his grasp on him.

 

“Get away from him. Can’t you see that he doesn’t like it?”

 

The boy looked up at him wide-eyed as the man glared at him with his beady eyes. He turned his hooked nose upwards at Chanyeol as he released his grip on the boy and stood up from his seat threateningly, his chest almost bumping into that of the taller boy’s. Chanyeol stood his ground and held the man’s glare with one of his own.

 

“This piece of nice is mine, I paid for him. Go get your own.”

 

The man reached out one of his stubby arms to squeeze the boy’s as the boy grimaced.

 

Chanyeol took a step back, a little taken aback at what he had heard. The boy was working here? He didn’t look any older than him. In fact, even his small frame made him look vulnerable and fragile; as if he might break if given a slight push. Instead of leaving, though, he retrieved his leather wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a whole wad of money, everything he had, that amounted to no less than a hundred US dollars.

 

“This should cover it. He’s mine now.”

 

Chanyeol shoved the money into the man’s grime covered hands and grabs the boy by the forearm as he led the both of them out into the rain.

 

The second the doors to the club opened, they were greeted by strong chilly winds and pelts of big fat raindrops. Chanyeol glanced to his side to see the boy shivering senselessly in his tight clothes as he wrapped his arms around himself in a futile attempt to protect himself from the cold.

 

Chanyeol shrugged his black overcoat and draped it over the boy’s shoulders. Wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulder, bringing him closer to his body to pool their warmth, he pulled their bodies into the open night air. They made a run for it, the boy following close, till they arrived at a huge house and took cover at the front porch that was lit by an orange light on either sides of the door.

 

Chanyeol retrieved a key and unlocked the door, stepping inside as the water dripped from his drenched clothes to the wooden floorboards beneath him.

 

“Come in. Don’t be afraid.”

 

To the boy’s surprise, Chanyeol held a hand out when he noticed the apprehension in the boy’s features. It took a second for the boy to relax, but his hard expression turned soft as he let Chanyeol wrap his bigger hands around his smaller ones to pull him in.

 

Usually, clients weren’t as friendly as this tall boy was. It would always begin with a sloppy kiss brought on all too hastily and end with the throwing of money into his face.

 

The boy looked around in awe, as if it was the first time he’d seen such a pretty house.

 

Chanyeol remembers how he couldn’t take his eyes off the boy, smiling to himself at how adorable he was.

 

He made the boy sit by the fireplace and after explaining to his mum that he had brought a friend home, he went to get clean towels and a change of clothes for the both of them.

 

After drying themselves off, his mum came in to serve hot chocolate with half-roasted marshmallows. They sat in silence for a long while, drinking their hot chocolate and waiting for their hair to dry off. Chanyeol had been staring at the boy the whole time, noticing how he was nervously avoiding eye contact. He noted the way the boy was shrinking into an imaginary shell, as if he was putting up a wall to block him out.

 

It saddened him to see how the boy was so cautious, like he was afraid. Of what, Chanyeol did not know.

 

The boy, on the other hand, was actually more confused than anything. This man - or rather, boy - had bought him off another man to have him to himself but yet he hadn’t done anything to suggest that he wanted his services.

 

“I’m Chanyeol. What’s your name?”

 

The boy hesitated for awhile before he replied in a quiet voice.

 

“Baekhyun.”

 

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol smiled, liking the way the boy’s name rolled off his tongue.

 

When they had both finished their drinks, Baekhyun excused himself to the bathroom to change into the dry clothes Chanyeol had brought him, the latter doing the same right there in the living room.

 

In the few minutes he had had to himself in the bathroom, Baekhyun had come to realize that Chanyeol had actually ‘bought’ him from that old man in an attempt to help him.

 

Though he was grateful for Chanyeol’s kind act, he knew that this was only temporary and soon, he would have to return to the hellhole to flirt with disgusting erts who saw him as nothing more than an object to satisfy their ual desires.

 

Chanyeol couldn't help but grin when he saw Baekhyun appear at the archway in his blue sweater that looked too big on him, and the track pants he had had to fold at the ankles to accommodate his shorter legs.

 

But he doesn’t fail to realize how terrifyingly skinny he was, too skinny in fact, especially for a growing boy like himself. His collarbones jut out and his cheeks were sunken. It didn’t help that Baekhyun had on eyeliner that had been smeared away by the rain, leaving traces of dark rings around his eyes that caused his small eyes to stand out against his fair complexion.

 

“I should go, my boss will be wondering where I am. This happens every day, but thank you for saving me back there.”

 

Baekhyun’s soft voice tugs Chanyeol from his reverie.

 

“No, please, stay a little longer. It’s still raining outside.”

 

The smaller boy shook his head lightly. Conflict ghosted across his face; as if he was contemplating on the other boy’s offer. But he rejected him again all the same.

 

“Wait, wait.”

 

Baekhyun stopped at the front door as Chanyeol rushed towards him, stopping a few feet away.

 

“Can I see you again?”

 

“I-I don’t know…”

 

“You work at the club, don’t you?”

 

“I do.” Baekhyun’s gaze shifted from the taller boy’s face to his own feet in embarrassment.

 

“I’m not judging you because you must have a reason as to why you choose to work there. But you should know that the filthy place is not for someone as beautiful as you.”

 

Baekhyun looked up again to see that Chanyeol had meant what he’d said. But he didn’t know how to reply to that. Nobody had ever been this nice to him. After working at such a place for two years too long, he forgot what it was like to have someone compliment him. To have someone tell him how he is worth more than he perceive himself to be. And it felt good; it really did, though he still didn’t believe himself to be beautiful, not in his own eyes anyway.

 

Chanyeol had sensed that the boy was at a loss for words, so he spoke up to fill the silence.

 

“I’ll drop by tomorrow after school.”

 

Chanyeol flashed one of his biggest and most genuine smiles as the other boy stared at him in nonchalance.

 

“Goodbye, Chanyeol.”

 

Baekhyun turned around on his heels and walked through the front doors, hugging his arms around his body.

 

+++

 

As expected, Chanyeol wasn’t one to give up so easily. Although Baekhyun hadn’t been all too warm towards him when he had mentioned visiting him at his workplace, he still kept his promise and swung by the damned place to look for Baekhyun.

That day, it had snowed.

 

Chanyeol had taken this as a good sign; usually snow came late but it was one of those rare years that nature decides to be kind to them and give them something to cheer about. Chanyeol loved the snow. He had always liked jumping around with his tongue out as the snowflakes melted in his mouth while he held his hands out to try and catch them in his hands. He could never really admire the snowflakes in his hands, though, because they dissolve almost instantly, but he figured he liked it better that way. Anything that’s precious could only be appreciated in the moment, just like photographs and how it captures the emotions played in that certain moment.

 

Snow to Chanyeol was .

 

To him, it was innocent and pure.

 

As he entered the shabby club for the second time in his life, he likened Baekhyun to snow – innocent and pure despite the job he was doing.

 

At once, he spotted the boy attending to a group of customers, serving them a few pints of beer. He looked even more uneasy than the night before. Chanyeol could see why, though. He was wearing a glittered top under suspenders and the same tight fitting leather jeans, this time accessorized with a studded black collar around his neck. Chanyeol grimaced at how the boy must have been forced to dress up that way to accommodate to the old club-goer’s es.

 

Chanyeol walked over to Baekhyun as he left the table.

 

“Good evening. How are you feeling today?”

 

Baekhyun gaped at the tall boy who towered over him with a stupid grin on his face. It was as though he hadn’t expected the boy to fulfil his promise and was surprised to see that he had actually done so.

 

“I’m busy now.” Baekhyun responded in that soft voice of his as he pushed his way past the giant who was in his way.

 

Chanyeol didn’t bother Baekhyun again after that. Baekhyun thought he would at least stay for a little while and follow him around like a puppy but Chanyeol did none of that. In a minute, Baekhyun had glanced around to see that the club was, once more, filled with nothing but old erts.

 

No sign of a certain boy his age anymore.

 

When his shift ended three hours later, Baekhyun left the club as soon as he finished dumping the dirty glasses into the sink for the bartender to do his job. Baekhyun exited from the front door and crossed his arms across his chest.

 

He looked ridiculous, still in his get up and thick eyeliner but he had no other choice. His boss never lets him come to work undressed (his dress code was that of tight and chest revealing clothes) and he never lets him bring a bag along. That meant that he could only bring himself to work, and not even a change of clothes. When he reports in the afternoon for his shift, he is usually rewarded with nasty glares from passers-by, so he definitely preferred walking home alone at night. He was able to walk freely without any judgemental stares.

 

“Baekhyun!”

 

A deep familiar voice that boomed in the silent street caused the boy to sigh as he slowed his pace down for the person to catch up.

 

“Have you been waiting for three hours?”

 

“Technically, I went home for an hour but then I came back and sat outside till you were done.”

 

Baekhyun turned to look up at Chanyeol but he doesn’t stop walking, “You mean you waited for me out in the cold all alone for hours?”

 

“Yeah.” Chanyeol grinned and immediately Baekhyun felt a pang of guilt. Even if the boy had done it on his own accord, he still felt like he was responsible to have made someone wait for him in the cold.

 

“I brought you a sweater.”

 

Chanyeol rummaged through the paper bag he was holding and handed a white knitted sweater to the boy.

 

“T-Thanks.”

 

Baekhyun took it as he shot an appreciative look to the taller boy, pulling the sweater over himself. He had to admit that it was one of the comfiest article of clothing he’d ever worn. He let out a contented sigh at the warmth of it.

 

“You are so adorable.”

 

Baekhyun was a little taken aback at Chanyeol’s compliment, yet again, but he doesn’t say anything. Out of the corner of his eye, Chanyeol could see Baekhyun visibly relax next to him.

 

He was slowly opening up to him.                                                                                            

 

Chanyeol remembers how they had gone to a 24hour diner instead of Baekhyun’s home. They had chatted over instant coffee and a midnight snack in the form of badly-toasted waffles and when the first few rays of sunlight broke through the dark clouds, they finally realized that they had spent close to six hours just talking about their lives.

 

Up to this day, Chanyeol is unable to forget the image of Baekhyun’s smile. Although it had been small and restricted, Chanyeol had deemed it exceptionally pretty.

 

Baekhyun found himself, strangely, pouring his heart out to the boy he’d just met. It was mostly because he had been on his own for too long and he had found comfort in the welcoming boy.

 

He braved through his storm of emotions to explain to Chanyeol how he had been forced into the job to pay off his late father’s debts. He could only leave once he turned eighteen; that was the agreement. Chanyeol had listened intently, holding back his own tears as Baekhyun told him stories of how he had to do things he didn’t want to. Baekhyun, however, wasn’t one to cry so he remained unfazed by it all.

 

By the time their second round of coffee was gone and the waffles had been reduced to crumbs, they stood up to say their goodbyes.

 

“Thank you for everything, Chanyeol. I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am towards you.”

 

“Don’t mention it. I want to help, Baekhyun. I really do.”

 

Chanyeol reached over to hold one of Baekhyun’s hands as the other boy blushed.

 

“Now you don’t have to go through this alone. I know we just met, but I promise you that I’ll be there for you always.”

 

Baekhyun smiled a breathtakingly beautiful smile that reached his eyes, causing them to turn into little slits.

 

For the first time in Chanyeol’s life, he felt the strange feeling of a flurry of butterflies haphazardly fluttering in his stomach.

 

For the first time in his life, he was in love.

 

 

+++

 

 

He remembers how he had spent the two years after that spending all his time with Baekhyun. He kept to his promise; without fail, he waited every single day outside the club till Baekhyun was done with his shift. The number of creepy old men who used to frequent the place to acquire Baekhyun’s services slowly dwindled after Chanyeol repeatedly sent death glares their way, protectively holding onto Baekhyun’s arm whenever they got too close or looked as if they might approach.

 

They never declared that they were officially together, but they acted like they were in a relationship.

 

However, their progress was slow. Baekhyun seemed to struggle to open up to someone new in his life, but Chanyeol never once complained. He could sense how it proved to be difficult for Baekhyun to warm up to the idea of skinship and all that came to building a relationship, including trust.

 

Chanyeol talked often about his future plans that were all nothing without Baekhyun. He would always tell the boy how much he loved him and how he couldn’t picture anyone else beside him on the altar. He would excitedly map out their married life together; they would have two artificially inseminated children, a boy and a girl. They would live in a big white house with a Yorkshire terrier and maybe a ferret, something Chanyeol had as a friend growing up. He would be the one earning an income for the family in an established company and Baekhyun would be the one in charge of home affairs and the welfare of their children.

 

When he walks through the wide oak doors after a long tiring day at work, he’d place a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s lips as he loosened his tie around his neck. Baekhyun would bring the plates out to serve dinner as their children would come running from their bedrooms to greet him in a bone-crushing hug.

 

Chanyeol would often talk about it as they lay on the grass with their hands intertwined, looking up at the blue cloudless skies, and Baekhyun would listen with a smile on his face. He wanted nothing but everything Chanyeol wanted.

 

 

+++

 

Now, twelve years later, everything had been like he’d imagined it to be. The dream he had dreamt with Baekhyun was finally reality.

 

After getting married, five years following their first meeting, in a quaint tiny chapel with their family and some close friends, with Chanyeol’s parent’s blessing, they went off on their honeymoon to Chanyeol’s dad’s family summer resort in Sokcho. Chanyeol had suggested the Maldives but Baekhyun had shot the idea down, claiming that it was cliché and too expensive. After all, he had planned to save the money for their children. And the money he had earned from his waitressing job at the restaurant after his time at the strip club wasn’t even enough to cover the trip to Maldives.

 

Chanyeol had frowned in disapproval, because his family was well-to-do and anything Baekhyun couldn’t afford, he would gladly pay it for him. Baekhyun refused to let Chanyeol do so but the taller boy was persistent.

 

“Everything that’s mine now is yours.”

 

“Including my heart.”

 

Chanyeol used his free hand that wasn’t placed on the small of Baekhyun’s back to take his lover’s smaller hand in his larger one and placed it over the fabric of his shirt where his heart lay.

 

“But to be honest, you had it the moment I first saw you.”

 

He grinned the lopsided grin of his that Baekhyun had come to fall in love with. Baekhyun rolled his eyes as he laughed.

 

“Cheesy.”

 

“Only for you.” Chanyeol winked.

 

+++

 

Their first night on their honeymoon, they enjoyed a great meal they had spent all afternoon cooking together and whiled away the time after that cuddling on the sofa bed with their limbs tangled with each other’s while they made out with a crappy romcom playing on the tv in the background.

 

Despite five years of being together, they had never slept together. Chanyeol wasn’t a , having lost it the same year he’d met Baekhyun, and neither was Baekhyun, but Baekhyun hadn’t been ready. He had been touched too many times by too many people and it had lost its meaning over the years. But after a two year break, he was ready again. He owed it to his lover after all who had waited patiently for him.

 

As Chanyeol clasped the hem of the back of Baekhyun’s shirt, he looked to the smaller boy who was sitting in the loop of his strong arms. His big eyes were wide with concern and Baekhyun found himself getting lost in them. The light that came from the tv was dancing in his dark orbs but Baekhyun found no trace of rashness.

 

Just lust and love.

 

A tingling sensation ran down his spine at the way the taller boy was looking at him, as if he was staring into his soul, reading everything in a single blink of his eyes.

 

Baekhyun nodded in approval, to say that he was alright with this. That he wants this now, and not a second later.

 

Once their shirts had been discarded to the ground, Chanyeol gently laid Baekhyun on his back, removing his arm from underneath his neck only when Baekhyun’s head had found the pillow.

 

He took his time.

 

When he had reluctantly broken the passionate kiss they were sharing, he trailed his kisses down to his jaw, rubbing his thumb across Baekhyun’s cheekbone. He broke away from the spot and trailed down further, this time peppering kisses on the pale exposed skin of his neck as Baekhyun closed his eyes with a nervous smile playing on his lips, letting his fingers curl in his short hair.

 

He on a particularly sensitive spot and marked it, earning a soft moan from the smaller male. His hand moved from Baekhyun’s cheek to his collarbone as he it lightly back and forth, making his way down to his chest.

 

Here, he kissed every single scar Baekhyun had, no matter how small.

 

He wanted Baekhyun to know that he loved every part of him, even the ones that were a reminder of his dark past of how he had been beaten by his alcoholic father and abused by clients when working at the club.

 

He wanted Baekhyun to know that it was all over now and that he would be the one to protect him from this day forth, for the rest of their lives.

 

Chanyeol counted every mole on Baekhyun’s body, even the ones that were almost to the eye. He memorised where each and every one of them were.

 

And by the time he was done, he brought his head back up to meet Baekhyun’s lips in another kiss before he whispered the last words for the stretch of the night.

 

“I love you, Park Baekhyun. I love you with all my heart.”

 

+++

 

Shortly after their honeymoon, they went to apply for artificial insemination and they won the bid. They checked off all the requirements in the conditions list: A strong marriage, a favourable environment in the form of a four bedroom house just in the outskirts of the city, and a stable source of income in the form of the combination of Chanyeol’s work as a consultant in an established firm and Baekhyun’s earnings as manager of a restaurant he had previously worked as a waiter at.

 

Soon, they found the perfect woman to carry their child.

 

She had long black perfect silky hair that was well-managed, a mesmerizing smile and a captivating personality.

 

Chanyeol remembers how Baekhyun was so thrilled he had started working on the baby room the second they got home after the news that the woman carrying their baby was pregnant.

 

He remembers how Baekhyun had come into the empty white walled room carrying two heavy cans of yellow paint as he set them down on the floor that was covered with newspaper at every inch.

 

He chuckled at Baekhyun who was panting, wiping the beads of sweat on his forehead with the back of his arm.

 

Baekhyun had set to work right away, painting the walls with the rich lemony yellow, the glint of excitement still in his eyes. Chanyeol hadn’t dared tell Baekhyun that he disliked the colour yellow. He would have preferred a nice baby blue but his lover had been so happy he didn’t want to put a damper on his mood.

 

Instead, Chanyeol pushed himself off from his lean against the window sill and grabbed a paint brush to help out. Every now and then, they would grin at each before Baekhyun would rant enthusiastically about his other plans for the room. Where the baby cot would be placed – by the window sill so their child could fall asleep looking at the canvas of stars and wake up to the healthy stream of sunlight—and what kind of toys he’d want to buy for the baby; something that had to do with music, because he would definitely inherit Chanyeol’s ability to create magic with the use of instruments.

 

By the time it was dark outside, the room was done. Apart from a fraction of a column of the room that had been haphazardly painted, the walls turned out really good.

 

Chanyeol finished up the last of his segment and turned around to give a high five to his lover only to be greeted by the sight of Baekhyun curled into a ball on the floor with his hands tucked under his head, snoring lightly as a smile lingered on his peaceful face.

 

Chanyeol cleaned up a little and came back with a wet cloth and a blanket and a pillow. He carefully wiped away the little specks of paint on Baekhyun’s face and arms before pulling his head up to rest on the pillow. He draped the blanket over their bodies and propped himself up with an elbow, staring down at the boy he loved.

 

He traced a finger along Baekhyun’s jaw, careful to be as light as the wings of a butterfly, and Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered a little upon the contact but he remained deep in slumber. Chanyeol leaned in to kiss Baekhyun’s cheek before he lay on his side and pulled his lover’s back up against his chest.

 

A smile played on his lips before he joined his lover in the land of dreams.

 

+++

 

Time passed by them in the blink of an eye, and the next thing Chanyeol knew, he had answered a call during work hours from a frantic Baekhyun on the other line, spluttering to get his words out.

 

“Chanyeol, baby… Now… Here… Broke… Water!”

 

Chanyeol was too caught up in the news to laugh at Baekhyun’s inability to string his sentence together so he dashed out his office and in no time, he was in the car, cruising down the highway to get to the hospital.

 

The second Chanyeol came running through the doors of the waiting room, Baekhyun reached out his hand as the taller boy grabbed it.

 

After eight hours of labour, they were finally told that they had a healthy baby boy. They couldn’t have been happier.

 

They settled all the administrative work, thanked the woman who had bore their child and who had granted them full rights as parents, and before long, they were told that they could go and get their baby boy.

 

Baekhyun clutched Chanyeol’s hand tightly as the latter led them to the baby incubation room. A nurse ushered them in with a smile, handing over the baby in her arms, and the moment the both of them set their eyes on their baby, their child, they looked at each other and shared a knowing smile with teary eyes.

 

It was hands down their favourite moment together.

 

Baekhyun carefully took the bundle in his arms and cradled him lovingly as Chanyeol stood close behind, looking at the baby’s closed eyes from over Baekhyun’s shoulder.

 

His eyes were closed and his tiny fists were balled and his skin was soft like the petals of a flower. Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol had nothing but love for this small being, a miracle brought into their lives.

 

“What’s his name?” The kind nurse asked.

 

With a wide grin, Chanyeol replied, “Jongin. Our baby’s name is Park Jongin.”

 

+++

 

Having a baby in the house was different than just the two of them being home alone. The atmosphere was definitely a lot merrier. Though it was not all fun and games, baby Jongin brought smiles and laughter into their lives.

 

He was their little sunshine.

 

And an active little baby at that.

 

At only ten months he was crawling, having races with the toy car, albeit falling over to the side after a few fast short steps.

 

When Jongin e, Chanyeol had insisted that Baekhyun stayed home full-time to care for Jongin, and at first, Baekhyun was a little hesitant. He wanted to contribute to their income as much as he could, but Chanyeol assured him that he had everything covered.

 

In fact, a few months after the introduction of their new family member, Chanyeol was promoted to Chief Consultant of his company, which meant more overseas trips, but also a higher salary that was almost double his previous.

 

Baekhyun took up Chanyeol’s suggestion and stayed home to care for Jongin.

 

He went about his routine joyously, a certain bounce in every step he took, not once complaining. Caring for Jongin and attending to Chanyeol’s needs were easier than he had expected since he actually enjoyed doing the things.

 

His day would start at six in the morning when Jongin, their natural alarm clock, wakes them up from their sleep. Baekhyun will traipse to the yellow baby room with a warm bottle of milk in his right hand and a bib in the other whereas Chanyeol will fall asleep for another fifteen minutes or so.

 

Once Baekhyun was done with the feeding, he will set Jongin on the bone of his hip and hum a happy tune as he makes his way into the kitchen downstairs. He’ll go about preparing breakfast with Jongin clapping jovially at everything Baekhyun does.

 

By the time breakfast is ready, Chanyeol would have finished showering and getting ready. He would saunter to the kitchen island and slip into a seat as Baekhyun pours him his coffee with two cubes of sugar.

 

“Say good morning to Appa.”

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol had discussed everything; even the issue of what they would want their children to call them. Chanyeol will be referred to as “Appa”, and the kids will call Baekhyun “Daddy”. It was different from most of the conventional families, but they were a family nonetheless.

 

Jongin would flap his stubby arms in the air to try and reach out to Chanyeol who would gladly take him in his embrace, with a toast balanced in between his teeth.

 

Baekhyun would then send his husband off for work, receiving a peck on the lips and an “I love you” in return.

 

+++

 

Chanyeol remembers the day they had gone to register Jongin in a neighbourhood school, one with decent holistic records, when he turned six. He had taken the day off to accompany Baekhyun.

 

They had dropped him off at the school’s yard amongst the sea of other parents sending their child off for the first time. Chanyeol had placed a kiss of Jongin’s left cheek, and Baekhyun on his right, as they engulfed him in a family hug before waving him goodbye.

 

They had watched as Jongin gaily skipped through the doors till they could no longer see him.

 

Chanyeol remembers glancing at his lover and seeing tears welling in his eyes as the pretend smile faded from his face. He turned to face him and cradled his face in both his hands, gently wiping away the few tears that had managed to escape, trickling down his cheek.

 

“He’ll be fine. He’s the most amazing kid I know, our Jongin. He’ll come home with happy stories on how he made new friends, how he had fun during the lessons, and how much he likes his new teacher. He’ll come home to us telling us that he loves school, I promise.”

 

Chanyeol had assured Baekhyun of his unvoiced worries as a small smile crept up his face and his lips were captured in a gentle kiss by Chanyeol’s soft and heavenly lips.

 

Chanyeol never broke his promises, and that is just one of the many reasons why Baekhyun loved him.

 

With Jongin gone for the day, the house was unusually quieter.

 

His piercing laughter was sorely missed, even if it had just been a day. Because there were many more school days to come, and soon, Baekhyun would have to get used to such an atmosphere.

 

Jongin also had a voice that was deeper than most boys his age (Baekhyun claimed he got it from Chanyeol) and the fact that Baekhyun was unable to hear it till the end of the day made him feel a little lonely.

 

“How about we have another baby? To keep you company when Jongin and I aren’t around.”

 

Chanyeol said as they got into bed one fine night. The reason had been catered to Baekhyun and his loneliness, but he knew that Chanyeol also desired another child to call their own. It had been part of the plan, after all, and now that they were experts (somewhat) in parenting, they figured that it was the perfect time to add another member to their little family.

 

“Can we?”

 

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol expectantly as Chanyeol replied with a sudden kiss. When they pulled apart for air, Baekhyun’s lips were all swollen and his eyes were hazy with need and love. Chanyeol chuckled, grazing his thumb over Baekhyun’s jaw, gaze still holding Baekhyun’s.

 

“Let’s do it. Let’s have another child together.”

 

Baekhyun lunged forward and caught Chanyeol’s lower lip in a kiss.

 

They made love that night, and it was the best they’d had in a long while.

 

+++

 

Less than a year after Jongin turned six, the Park family welcomed a new addition to the family.

 

This time it was a boy as well, and although Baekhyun had been afraid that Chanyeol would be disappointed that it wasn’t a girl like he had dreamt of, Chanyeol had assured him that it didn’t matter. Every child was a blessing and besides, quote “two boys will be enough to keep you busy for awhile” end quote.

 

Park Sehun was the name of their second son.

 

While Jongin had been a handsome and hyper baby, Sehun was adorable and quieter. Chanyeol’s family who had visited after the arrival of baby Sehun had ceaselessly mentioned how Jongin was a mini Chanyeol and Sehun was a mini Baekhyun.

 

Jongin, surprisingly, was more than excited to finally have a younger brother. He doted on him a lot, throwing aside his playful side once in awhile to reveal his maturity.

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun couldn’t be happier.

+++

 

But in every life, there was bound to be ups and downs.

 

For them, one of the toughest periods of their time together came soon after baby Sehun e.

 

Sehun had been born a few weeks premature, but that hadn’t been a problem.  After discovering that Sehun wasn’t developing like Jongin, even much slower than normal babies, Baekhyun and Chanyeol had brought him to the doctor as a precautionary measure.

 

He was soon diagnosed with mild autism; Asperger’s Syndrome, to be more specific.

 

Chanyeol remembers how Baekhyun hadn’t been one to take the news well.

 

That night, after tucking Jongin in and rocking Sehun to sleep then placing him in the baby cot, Baekhyun locked himself up in the bathroom for an hour.

 

Chanyeol had knocked on it repeatedly, trying to coax him into opening up to let him in, but Baekhyun ignored his pleas.

 

For the first time in a long time, Chanyeol heard Baekhyun crying. What made it worse was the fact that he felt so helpless sitting with his back on the other side of the door, listening to the awful choked sobs he knew Baekhyun was trying his hardest to hide.

 

When he was finally ready to let Chanyeol in, he washed his face of any evidence that he’d been crying though his eyes were red and swollen. Chanyeol scrambled to his feet and stood a metre away from his lover who tried his best to flash a smile.

 

All that façade came crumbling down in a mere second, though, when Baekhyun saw the pained expression on Chanyeol’s face. The same internal emotional conflict he was facing. He flung his smaller body into Chanyeol’s chest and wept brokenly into his shirt.

 

That had set Chanyeol off as well, and the both of them stood in the middle of their bedroom, crying their frustrations and worries out together in each other’s tight embrace.

+++

 

Five years later, Chanyeol trudged up the stairs, making his way to the bedroom he shared with Baekhyun. With every step he took, he dreaded what was to come.

 

Never in his life would he have thought that he would have to go through this in life. Especially not life with Baekhyun, the man he had swore to protect to the ends of Earth till the end of time.

 

He was also glad that the children weren’t home. It was afternoon and they were still in school, but Chanyeol had just flown in from Los Angeles a mere hour ago. He had spent a week there for business, and he was tired as hell, but he knew this talk was important and unfortunately inevitable. No reason to put it off much longer, and better do it now that the children weren’t home.

 

Chanyeol rapped twice on the door before he turned the doorknob to let himself in, loosening his tie. The room was a little different than how he’d remembered it to be. He had, after all, spent the past few months sleeping on the floor in the guest room and occasionally on the couch. Baekhyun had insisted he took their bed, but Chanyeol had refused. He knew Baekhyun was more prone to backaches out of the two of them.

 

 “Hi.”

 

Chanyeol greeted as he stood by the door. He didn’t know why, but his legs wouldn’t take him further than where he was. All he could do was to stand by the bed, staring at the back of Baekhyun’s head as he sat perched on the edge of the bed.

 

“Hi.”

 

Baekhyun’s reply was almost inaudible, the end of it getting lost in the vastness of the room.

 

“So…”

 

Chanyeol began to say, but he was abruptly cut off.

 

“We should stop avoiding this. You’re tired of this and so am I. And the only way out is through a divorce.”

 

Chanyeol hadn’t expected Baekhyun to say it so straightforwardly because usually he was the one to sugarcoat sour words. Sure, they had been talking about it for a while now, the idea presenting itself to be very appealing. But they never had the guts to talk about it face to face. All the discussion they had done had been through short text messages.

 

“Okay.”

 

Chanyeol heaved out a sigh. He didn’t know what he was feeling. He didn’t have the energy to contemplate on his emotions so he quietly left the room, closing the door shut behind him.

 

Baekhyun wasn’t one to cry.

 

When he heard Chanyeol’s loud shuffling against the floorboard he kept his gaze fixed on the window ahead.

 

When he heard the door close shut he still kept his gaze fixed on the window ahead.

 

When he could hear nothing but his own heavy breathing, he still kept his gaze fixed on the windw ahead.

 

The revelation that his 12 years of marriage with the man he loved crumbling down didn’t sink in.

 

All he could think of was how the both of them had failed to live up to the wedding vows they’d made to each other in that little chapel 12 years ago.

 

He hadn’t thought it was possible, but their forever was coming to an end.

 

+++

 

A/N: First chapter is done & up! Most of the scenes in this chapter is set in the past, but the following chapters to come will be in the present. 

Thanks to everyone who subscribed even before I posted anything! Hope you enjoy this~