“Somebody! Help!”

It’s been a week since I died.

I didn’t realize I was dead at first, I thought I was dreaming when I opened my eyes to see doctors packing up surgery equipment, but then I saw my own face on the body. I followed one of the nurses out to the lobby waiting room and stopped when I saw him. YongGuk. He looked like he didn’t sleep for weeks; it hurt to see him like this. When Youngjae stood up and started talking to the nurse I could control my legs again as I walked closer. Tears were streaming down his face as he turned to look back to the rest of the guys.

“She… she’s gone.” He choked out as he fell to his knees.

“No” Himchan whispered wide eyed, then looked to YongGuk. His head was down so no one could see his face. He gently lifted Zelo’s head that was lying on his shoulder and tilted him to lie in a more comfortable position. After that he walked away from the group, I reached out to grab his wrist and say I’m here! But my hand slid through his. I followed him down a hallway, as he stopped he punched a wall then slid down the opposite wall sobbing. He sat with his knees propped up, one arm resting on his knee and the other hand he covered his face.

I’m sorry! YongGuk! I’m sorry. But he couldn’t hear me. No one could, not anymore. I turned when I heard someone walk down the hallway. It was Zelo, tears streaming down his face as he slid down the wall and sat next to YongGuk. No words were spoken; they just sat there in silence accepting my death.

Now I was watching my own funeral, great. My mom was holding onto YongGuk’s hand the whole time. As my funeral ended and people started to leave YongGuk and the boys walked up to my grave. Please, just give me a chance to say goodbye. I thought. As you wish. But make it quick a voice responded in my head. I felt a push and was suddenly in front of the guys on the other side if the grave.

Himchan looked up, “Ugh, Guys?” he said in a soft voice. They all looked at him as he pointed at me, then they turned to look at me. Shock was rare to see on the boys, but this would be the last time I saw it. I smile as I waved.

“I don’t have much time. I came to say a proper goodbye. I love you all very much and you are all my very best friends. Please take good care of yourselves. Don’t pick on Zelo too much, and buy him extra cherry tomatoes. Himchan go ahead and keep our favorite movie Wish, Be With You, It was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday. Youngjae you should still have that sky blue scarf you borrowed forever ago,” the group looked at him with a smile as tears were in all of their eyes, “If you go to the back of my closet with the rest of the beanies there should be a beanie that matches, I stitched in Brain for you nerd.” I said with a smile as he chuckled, “Daehyun my mom has the cheese cake recipe you love, go ahead and ask her for it. I know I said I would never let you have it but I guess I will make an acceptation. Yongup you always said ‘Always do what you like, and do what you want to do, and try your best to be happy’ and with you guys I was. I was always really happy.” Tears started to stream down my face now. I don’t have much time left. I walked up to YongGuk and placed a hand on his cheek. “It took way too long for me to finally confess my feelings for you. It about the situation now but I don’t regret it.” YongGuk was shaking as he tried very hard to hold in a sob, “I love you and I always will but I want you to be happy because you aren’t you unless you can smile. That smile is one of the things I fell for.” I took off the necklace I had around my neck, it was a robot rabbit that he made me buy when we went on a trip with our family together. I placed it in his hands as I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. We kissed each other for the first time but I was out of time. I felt myself being pulled. I backed away as I let out a sob, “I have to go now.” I said feeling myself fading. “Bye guys.” I waved as I felt myself finally fade out.

Time to go. The voice said as I felt myself being wrapped in warmth. I closed my eyes and let myself fade completely away.