Chapter 1: L I F E

“Well, sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can come along your way.” I encouraged my listeners. I had been a deejay for about a year and my program was to share some songs and listen to my listeners’ rants when they called in.

“I know it is hard not to be depressed or disappointed when things do not go as you planned, but it is part and parcel of life. You can get upset for a period of time but you must recover and be back on your feet soon. Accept what you cannot change, change what you cannot accept. We must accept what life offers but we must also learn to take control of our lives.”

I paused to allow my words to sink in, hoping that the short silence would be the sufficient time for my listeners to understand my words.

“The next two songs are for all the depressed people out there, who think that life is just full of disappointment. Listen carefully, you may find what you need in these songs. The next two songs are ‘Play On’ by Carrie Underwood and ‘The Climb’ by Miley Cyrus. Hopefully, you will be inspired and motivated...”

After a day of work at the radio station, I went straight home and plunged onto my soft and comfy king-size bed. I was living alone in a three-room apartment. You may think the apartment would be too small, but to me, a small apartment just meant homeliness and security.

“Jace Shim Yeon, you have been telling your listeners all the motivational quotes and sayings but I don’t see you practicing what you preach!”

I groaned in frustration, “You are here again!”

“Of course, Jace! As long as you have not found your happiness, I will not go!”

“But I am really very happy right now!” I emphasized heavily on the words “really very happy”, and continued to declare my stand, “I have a stable job, a comfy home and I am not starving!”

“Right? What about a boyfriend? What about friends? You have colleagues whom you do not go out with, a steady source of income which you just kept saving and a lovely family whom you do not keep in contact with regularly…”

“Aish! My family lives so far away. The phone bills are expensive and I do visit them once a year! In addition, I prefer being alone. I don’t need a boyfriend!” I argued.

I was tired of this recurring argument.

“Right, so right! Jace Shim Yeon! Stop lying to yourself! I have been the only one who had stepped into your house and went out with you! Don’t you remember the case of the Mdm Kim? Do you want to be like her?”

I remained silent. I recalled my comment on Mdm Kim, “If only she was able to let go of her pain …”

In actual fact, I had been unable to let go of my pain too.

The pain was too unbearable and the memories of the past accident too vivid and intolerable.

I had been evading it, refusing to recollect any of it, unable to face it and not brave enough to forget and ignore it totally.

He had been my life.

He saved me.

He was my one and only best friend, the sole companion whom I could lean and depend on.

He was the only one who understood me.

He was always there for me, whenever I needed him.

He was just so … special and significant.

I closed my eyes.

Despite my attempts at brushing off and pushing back the memory, the images of him and past memories were flitting through my mind…

“Shim Yeon!” he called out.

“I told you to call me Jace, didn't I?” I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled loudly and pinched my cheeks. “Your name is given to you by your dearest parents. You should …”

“Right, I get it. Respect! I know but I like to be called by Jace! What’s up with you anyway?” I rubbed my cheeks. He always loved teasing me, pinching my rosy and chubby cheeks and also preaching to me about his philosophies.

“I am bored. Entertain me!” he commanded monotonously, emphasizing on his boredom.

“Get a girlfriend!” I replied casually.

“Aren’t you my girlfriend?” He questioned daringly, with a lopsided grin on his face.

“Right! I thought you were the one who rejected me!” I smacked him lightly on his forehead.

“Did I? I must have made a terrible mistake then. Can you please forgive me and accept me now? I promise to stay by your side, always. I will ensure your happiness.” His brown eyes bore into mine.

I stared hard at him, expecting him to laugh out loud at our usual joke.

Surprisingly, he did not.

“Sorry but I am not continuing with this act anymore.” I turned to focus my gaze on the book I was holding.

“Fine! I shall listen to the radio then! The deejay’s voice is so much sweeter than yours and she is also funnier …” He tried to annoy me but failed since I was too engrossed in the book…

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

Never ever had I expected him to leave me so soon, if only I knew that he would sacrifice himself for me, I would have done all I could have to entertain him, to show him more care and concern.

If you are thinking that we are lovers, no, we are not. We are just a pair of really good confidants who truly understood and loved each other for who we are.

“Idiot!” I screamed out. A cool breeze had blown in through the opened windows and it caressed my cheeks, drying my tears.

Yes, he was gone.

He was dead.

However, he was not entirely out of my life.

He was keeping his promise.

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=] ENJOY! CHEERS! =D

th1rd3ye