Thank you all for your extremely kind words and for welcoming back with open arms. It feels amazing to be back and to continue this story so now, I give you the next chapter. And just a reminder, from now on they are in the present time. Oh and enjoy the banner >.<

Jiyong had fallen into a routine. Wake up, make coffee, and then go outside to the porch and contemplate what the hell he was doing. It had already been three days since he, his grandfather, and Seunghyun had gone on that fishing trip. That was three days since he agreed to talk with Seunghyun. And that was three days he been actually avoiding talking to him.

He would see Seunghyun every morning, getting into his beat up old truck and driving off to some unknown job. Every time Jiyong would release his held breath. No matter what he had agreed to the other day, he knew he wasn’t ready for any kind of talk that the older man wanted to have. Of course, it had been six years since everything happened, but that still didn’t make being around Seunghyun any less painful. He knew that coming here was going to stir up all of his pent up emotions that he had been trying to ignore these past few years, but he just didn’t want to face them yet. He wanted to ignore them as long as he could and he was determined to do so.

He attempted to take another sip of his already cold coffee, but realized that there was nothing left on the bottom of the cup. He got up and went inside to see what his grandmother was cooking for breakfast. It was nothing fancy, just bacon, eggs, and biscuits, but that didn’t stop him from devouring every last bite. He needed the energy for the whole day.

Yesterday, while he was watching some old documentary with his grandfather, the older woman came into the living room and asked if he could help her with something today. He agreed, not really caring what it was as long as it was something to do. Two weeks into being back, he was starting to become bored already, and that was something he did not need.

When they finished breakfast, Jiyong offered to do the dishes, insisting that he still needed to earn his keep no matter what his grandmother said. When he was done, she said that they would head out in a couple minutes.

“So where are we headed to Grandma?” Jiyong asked as he clicked the seatbelt into the buckle and then put the car into reverse, starting to back out of the driveway.

“The community center,” she told him.

He nodded and continued on down the road once he got directions on where the community center actually was.

“What’s going on there today?” he asked.

“There’s a committee meeting this morning.”

“Committee? For what?” he asked curiously.

“The county fair.”

“The county fair?” Jiyong questioned back as he flashed her a puzzled look.

“Yes sir,” she said and nodded.

Jiyong turned right once they got to the light and continued on with the conversation. “Why the county fair, I thought it comes in March?”

“Not for a few years, we changed it to the summer time so that the kids could enjoy it more. Although-” she chuckled- “I think the old women of the town just wanted an excuse to have more people see whose pie is the best in the baking contest.”

“Yours will always be the best in my book, Grandma,” Jiyong said, trying to sweet talk her.

“Now don’t be expectin’ a pie when you get home after you said that,” she fired back and shook her head with a smile on her face.

“Well they are,” Jiyong fought defenselessly. “And I haven’t had one in forever,” he said extra sweetly, trying to coax her into making one.

“We’ll see, but I’m not making any promises, ya hear?”

Jiyong laughed at the older woman’s antics and after another 10 minutes of talk about pies, they pulled up to the community center parking lot that was packed with cars. Making their way inside, Jiyong saw what looked like half of the old people of the town, with the exception of a couple middle-aged folks. There were chairs lined up in rows facing the stage and Jiyong’s grandmother shooed him into one of them so they could sit down.

The meeting began with the chairman coming up to the podium and talking about what was on the agenda today. Jiyong kept looking around trying to find any clue as to why he was here because his grandmother decided to keep that part of the trip a secret. Random people would come up, one after the other, and talk about the bake sale, the rides, the food vendors, even some of the animal judging and Jiyong was just about to fall asleep when his grandmother pinched him on the cheek and hissed, “Boy, you better wake up.”

He shot up straight as a pole while whispering his apologies to the older woman.

“I’m sorry grandma, but what am I even doing here?”

“Just you wait. You’ll see in a minute,” she said and patted his knee.

After another two people did their spiels, one of the middle-aged men got up and started talking about the volunteers that they would need for the two weeks before the fair opened.

“This,” his grandmother murmured. “They need people to help set up the grounds and get it ready, and I want you to volunteer.”

“Why?” he questioned but as soon as he said it he knew the older woman was about to slap him.

“Because I am your grandmother and I am asking you to, that’s why. And you’ve been moping around the house for the past few days, for God knows what reason, and I think this will be good for you. A chance to get out of the house. Get some fresh air and clear your mind. That’s why you wanted to come up here, wasn’t it?”

Jiyong could only nod. His grandmother was right and it kind of pissed him off at how obvious he was that ever she could pick up on his foul mood these past couple days. And as he mulled it over, he decided that helping out wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Like she said; a chance to get out of the house and away from everything.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

“Great!” she smiled and took his hand in hers, squeezing her appreciation into it.

Jiyong listened to the man talk about all that they had planned to do for the preparations, trying to figure out what he was physically capable of. No matter how much his grandmother wanted him to help, he was still a city boy who could never compete with the guys out here in the country. When the man finished, he said that there would be a sign up sheet for anyone who wanted to help, and then left the stage only to be replaced by yet another person.

Luckily, that person was the last one, which was why he slightly paid attention to her. She said something about an auctioning fundraiser for the Miller family, who had lost part of their house in a storm about a month ago, but Jiyong was distracted when his stomach started to growl. He fished out his phone and saw that two and a half hours had passed and it was pushing 11:30. He was getting hungry for lunch and by the grace of all the gods, once the meeting ended, the chairman stood back up and said, “Now if ya’ll would like, some of the ladies have prepared a simple lunch for you folks. Go on and help yourselves. And don’t forget to see the leaders of the group to sign up for the special events.”

Everyone proceeded to the back of the hall and started forming lines to grab their food. Jiyong laughed as he watched the older people move as fast as they could so they can be in the front of the line. He decided to stand back and let them go first, knowing that it was better not to get in the way or risk of being lectured at for disrespecting elders or something.

Once he was able to load up a plate with half a sandwich, potato salad, and cookies he made his way over to the drink table to grab a lemonade, but he stopped half way there. Over off to the side, talking to the chairman was Seunghyun.

Jiyong started to panic. He wasn’t ready to talk to him and especially not in front of all these people. He prayed that he could grab his drink and find his grandmother without the older man seeing. He took quick steps, grabbed a drink and immediately turned around; right smack dab into someone else. It looked like he was destined to be some cosmic joke, because he knew someone out there was surely having fun pulling him around like some puppet.

He rapidly apologized to the man he had run into, and thankfully the drink didn’t spill on either of them, just the floor, however both their plates had joined the lemonade. Jiyong fell to the ground, trying to clean everything up when another pair of hands joined him in his efforts. He looked up and started saying, “Thank-“ but he words died out when he saw Seunghyun was the owner of said hands.

“I got it,” Jiyong said through tight lips.

“It’s okay, I’m here already,” Seunghyun retorted and gave him a sympathetic smile.

For some reason Jiyong’s blood started boiling. Maybe it was because he was thrown off guard that Seunghyun was here, and right in front of him, or maybe it was the fact that it felt like he was completely helpless in front of his ex-boyfriend. Whatever the reason was, it didn’t stop him from saying through clenched teeth, “Seunghyun, I can take care of it myself. Just get out of here.”

He grabbed the napkins that the older man was holding and finished soaking up the lemonade, then picked up the rest of the mess and walked to the opposite side of the room, as far away from him as possible. His embarrassing encounter, made him lose his appetite, so he proceeded to look for his grandmother. He found her signing some of the signup sheets and he waited until she was done to tell her that he wanted to leave. She was confused but didn’t press the issue and for the entire ride home they sat in silence.

~

The following Monday was when preparation for the fair was starting and Jiyong was more than ready to throw himself into mindless work. He needed to do something, anything, so he could stop constantly replaying all the moments when he had encountered Seunghyun up until now. This wasn’t how he wanted this summer to be, but really, he didn’t know what he was expecting it to be. All he knew was that it wasn’t supposed to be this.

Getting directions from his grandfather, he jumped into his car and drove to the city fairgrounds to start his day’s work. When he got there, he introduced himself to the man he saw at the meeting and he put him to work right away. Apparently, his grandmother had told the man, whose name Jiyong found out was Dave, that he was an artsy person. So Jiyong’s first job was to help repaint some of the old stalls for the different activities booths. He sighed in relief, fearing that he would have to use power tools, something that he knew nothing about, to build something he didn’t know how to build. Finding his work area, he met a few fellow volunteers and jumped right into where they needed him.

At midday, everyone took an hour break for lunch and Jiyong found himself craving a big juicy cheeseburger, so he hopped into his car and drove to the closest burger joint. He found one and noticed some familiar faces from the fairgrounds that apparently had the same idea as him. When he got out of the car, some of them recognized him as well and asked if he wanted to join them.

It’s better than eating alone, he thought. And I might as well try and make some new friends since I am going to be spending the next couple weeks with them.

He had a great time; everyone was friendly and welcoming. As soon as he told them who his grandparents were, they all nodded and praised them as great and caring people. When lunch was over they all headed back to the site and continued working for the day. Jiyong was able to finish two stalls and not once did Seunghyun enter his mind the entire time.

~

The next day was just as great, Jiyong went and painted and didn’t let anything distract him all day except when someone mentioned that Dave had ordered barbeque for everyone. That was a welcome distraction. He and some of the other painters, Sally and Mrs. Dawson, were walking over to the tent with the food when he heard something that caught his attention.

“Yeah, man, I don’t know what’s up with Seunghyun lately,” a bodiless voice said on the other side of a pile of plywood.

“Dude, I know! Ever since a couple weeks ago, he’s been all stoic and brooding. Has he said anything to you?” another voice asked.

Jiyong had come to a complete stop and suddenly found himself hanging on every word these men said.

“No. He doesn’t talk much. To anyone really. But, I mean we used to be really close back in the day, but now…” the person sighed, “You know I hate to say it but ever since you know- that- happened, he’s distanced himself from us.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean, I wonder if it’s because… oh -,” the other voice abruptly stopped.

Jiyong wanted to climb over and tell them to continue their conversation because he was now glued to it and was desperate to hear what they had to say. But their next words almost made him run in the opposite direction.

“Hey, Seunghyun,” the first voice said a little too cheerfully.

“Hey, guys. Sorry I’m late.”

Jiyong didn’t know what to do so he just stayed put and hoped that they wouldn’t notice him if they turned the corner.

“Naw, man, you’re just in time for lunch.”

“Great!”

Jiyong could hear that they were about to come face to face and he just didn’t want that to happen, so trying to stay as calm as possible, he swiftly walked passed them and met up with Sally in the food line.

“Wait a minute, isn’t that Jiyong?”  He heard one of the voices ask and he winced, but he refused to turn around.

“Hey, Jiyong!”

He in a deep breath and put tried to look confused as he turned around to see who was calling him.

“Hey, it is you! Do you remember me? Liam? We used to play football during the summer when we were in high school.”

Jiyong felt like he should try going up for an Oscar with how well he pulled off the conversation that followed. He pretended to still look confused but then acted like realization struck him and he said hello to Liam, taking note that the other man next to him was the other voice he had heard and he too was one of the boys that he used to play football with. The man that he completely ignored, however, was behind both of them, and he still didn’t want to talk to him.

“Seunghyun, why didn’t you tell us Jiyong was back in town? We could’ve had a party or something,” Liam chided.

“Sorry,” he said, although Jiyong could hear it in his voice that he really wasn’t. “I thought I told you guys. But Jiyong’s been kind of busy so he probably wouldn’t have come anyway.”

Again, Seunghyun seemed to say something that set Jiyong off. He wanted to scream that the older man knew nothing about him anymore so how would he know that he wouldn’t have come? But alas, this was Seunghyun after all, and his words were only too true.

“Yeah, sorry guys. My grandparents have been keeping me busy since I got to town. But it’s good to see ya’ll.” Jiyong said, hoping to sound sincere.

The other man, clapped his hand on his shoulder saying, “Yeah, man, it’s great to see you too. You definitely don’t look the same.”

Jiyong smirked. “Seriously? I think I still fit into the same clothes that I wore back then.”

He didn’t want to let the other men know that he and Seunghyun weren’t exactly talking again, so he tried making small conversation.

“No,” Liam started, “You grew up. You sure aren’t that scrawny kid anymore. You filled out good.”

The corners of Jiyong’s mouth twitched upwards. “Thanks, you guys seem to be doing well too.”

“Yep, Robert here-” Liam threw his arm around the other man- “got married 3 years ago and already has a kid, and I just got engaged a while back. The wedding is gonna be next year.”

“Wow, that’s great! Congratulations!” Jiyong didn’t have to act out his surprise, he was genuinely happy for the guys even though he barely knew them. He had already seen plenty of his own friends settle down and it made him remember how much he wished he could do the same. At that moment his body betrayed him and he glanced up at Seunghyun for a quick second. To his shock, the older man was already staring at him and he swiftly looked away with his heart beat starting to pick up.

“Enough chit chat,” Robert said. “Let’s grab some of this barbeque, I’m starving.”

The men playfully turned Jiyong around and shoved him forward towards the small buffet of food and they proceeded to fill their plates. Before they could invite him to eat with them, Jiyong threw out some excuse of needing to finish up quickly on a project and rushed to go eat in silence, as far away from them and Seunghyun as possible.

~

For the rest of the week, Jiyong made it a point to stay away from the rest of the volunteers in fear of running into Seunghyun. He had found out from harmlessly asking around, that Seunghyun would come and help in the afternoon, after his morning shift at the auto shop and he wanted to avoid any form of confrontation if he could. And it seemed to help that him and Seunghyun both had completely opposite jobs at the fairgrounds. Jiyong would paint and organize and put together smaller things, while the older man was preoccupied with building the new barn for the animal showing on the other end of the property.

However, despite how much he tried avoiding the man, sometimes he would have to go over to that side and ask to borrow some of their tools. And a couple of times, Jiyong was forced to ask no one other than Seunghyun himself.

“Can I have a couple more screws,” he grumbled in Seunghyun’s general direction.

The older man didn’t reveal any sign of emotion as he went to a bucket and picked up a handful, but he didn’t hand them over just yet.

“When are you going to stop this?” he asked.

Jiyong looked up and narrowed his eyes  because of the sun shining directly into his face as he rebutted, “Stop what?”

“Avoiding me. You said we would talk.”

Jiyong was hot and sweaty from being outside all day and this was not what he wanted to do at this moment.He puffed his cheeks, forcing his breath out while he wiped the sweat from his brow and said, “I’m not doing this right now.”

“Then when?” Seunghyun asked, and Jiyong watched as his jaw clenched. He was frustrated and Jiyong was enjoying it.

“I don’t know. Look, just give me the damn screws so we can both go back to work.” He threw out his hand so he could take them from Seunghyun.

The older man breathed in deeply while his eyes roamed all across Jiyong’s face. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but Jiyong put up all his defenses so he wouldn’t let him find it. It must have worked too, because Seunghyun aggressively put the screws into his hand and as quickly as he came, Jiyong spun around, leaving Seunghyun to watch him walk away yet again.

~

Jiyong thought that when the weekend came it would be better for his mental state because it was much easier avoiding Seunghyun while he was locked up in his house. His grandmother asked him if he was starting to come down with something, but he just threw her a half assed excuse about being exhausted from working so hard at the fairgrounds. She laughed, but ended up leaving him to his own devices for the rest of the weekend.

He should have known that the new week was going to be hell, because from the moment he woke up and went to start work, he felt something in the air. He couldn’t explain it, almost like the saying that you ears are burning so someone must be talking about you, but in his case, he felt like his whole body was on fire. Maybe it had something to do with the summer heat - the forecast did say that they expected some pretty bad highs today - but still, Jiyong felt put off.

And the feeling stayed with him throughout his time working. He must have tripped half a dozen time or smashed a hammer into his thumb and even spilt a whole bucket of paint over the sign he had just finished painting. Whatever was going on, Jiyong was pleading that it would go away soon.

A break seemed to come to him in food form when Mrs. Dawson brought a special batch of her snicker doodles just for their group. Jiyong easily ate five right off the plate and all the other volunteers laughed at how much he resembled a starved pig. He didn’t care though; the cookies were heaven. When there were nothing but crumbs left, one of the older men asked Mrs. Dawson why she didn’t bake enough for the other volunteers, and she shyly smiled and said, “Now how come you know me too well? I have a three baskets full of cookies in my car. Dave would have my head if he knew I spoiled ya’ll and not them.”

She then turned to Jiyong and asked, “Dear, would you help me take the rest over to the others? You need to work off the ones you ate.” She joked, and laughed with her wiry white hair bouncing around.

Jiyong laughed as well and knew he couldn’t deny her request no matter how much he didn’t want to go over there. They went and grabbed the baskets from the car and walked over to the barn that was nearing completion.

“Boys!” Mrs. Dawson called out to everyone. “Who wants a small sweet treat?”

All the men stopped working and swarmed around her and Jiyong. He felt like cat in a crowd full of dogs with the way they all grabbed the cookies, but it made him smile thinking how a batch of cookies can turn just about anyone back into a kid.

All the men were praising and thanking them for the snack when another man hollered, “Ma’am some of the boys went to go replenish our water supply. They should be down by the some of the food vendor stalls. I’m sure they don’t want to miss out on these.”

Now that the man had said it, Jiyong finally noticed that Seunghyun wasn’t amongst the crowd.

“Alright, I’ll make sure they get some too. Now get on and finish up the mighty fine barn, okay?” she said.

A chorus of “Yes ma’am’”s sounded back at them and then Mrs. Dawson reached for Jiyong to help her walk back to their area. On the way she asked, “Would you mind taking these to the rest of ‘em? I don’t think my legs will let me walk all the way over there.”

Begrudgingly, Jiyong nodded. He didn’t want to speak because he was afraid that the older woman would hear how much he did not want to go over there. But she smiled up at him and patted his hand, allowing him to leave her side and walk over there.

It wasn’t hard to find where the other men were because they were the only voices on this side of grounds. One of the older men say him first and asked, “Whatcha got there?”

“Some of Mrs. Dawson’s snicker doodles,” Jiyong replied and lifted the basket up to show them and just like before, the couple of men surrounded him, save for Seunghyun.

His curiosity got the best of him and before he could stop himself, he piped up and asked, “Where’s Seunghyun?

“Oh, the ice machine in this stall wasn’t working so he went to go find another one down that way,” he finished by pointing off to his right.

Jiyong nodded in understanding but didn’t move.

When the guy noticed that Jiyong wasn’t moving he questioned, “Aren’t you going to give him some too?”

“O-oh, yeah, right,” he stuttered and started walking in that direction, scolding himself for even mentioning the older man’s name.

He went in silence, figuring that Seunghyun would be making enough noise for him to find where he was. But after a couple minutes, he got frustrated and decided to just call out the older man’s name.

“Seunghyun?” He paused, waiting for an answer; he didn’t hear one. “Seunghyun, I have-“

“I’m here, Luke wha-“ Seunghyun had walked out of one of the stalls and stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide. “Jiyong? What are you doing here?”

Jiyong rolled his eyes and threw the basket in front of him and recited his little speech. “Mrs. Dawson made snicker doodles and the other guys wouldn’t let me leave until you got some.”

He watched Seunghyun’s shoulders slump. Jiyong knew he was hoping for something else but he wasn’t ready to give it to him. Seunghyun reached for a cookie in the basket and as soon as he pulled it out, Jiyong his heel and started to walk away.

“Jiyong, wait!” Seunghyun moved as fast as lightning and jumped in front of him, blocking his way. When he tried to go around him Seunghyun put up his hands to stop him, saying, “Please, just wait. We need to talk.”

“Not now Seunghyun.” Jiyong said and crossed his arms, letting the basket dangle at his hip.

“If not now, then when? Hmm? You’ve been back for almost a month now and you still won’t talk to me.”

“Yeah, so? What if I don’t actually want to talk. What if I have nothing to say?”

Seunghyun dropped the cookie and clenched his fists “Damn it Jiyong, I know you have a million things to say, I mean- God! You’ve been gone for six years!”

“AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?” Jiyong shouted back. His anger was building up and he could feel it starting to ooze out of him.

Before Seunghyun could say anything back, they both heard another voice calling Seunghyun and trying to find out where he was. The older man didn’t want Jiyong to run away because of this distraction, so he brought his hand up and covered the younger man’s mouth while his other arm slipped around his waist and pulled him into a small opening between buildings to hide.

Jiyong didn’t have time to process what was happening. He was too caught up with being pressed up against a wall by Seunghyun’s body, while the older man whispered into his ear.

“Be quiet. We’re not done talking.”

Jiyong didn’t move. He was overwhelmed with Seunghyun’s scent enveloping him, his breath tickling his neck, and even the tight grasp his fingers had on his waist. He was on the verge of collapsing. Seunghyun smelled like sawdust and sweat; the two scents that made up his teenage summers as they hung out in the old barn. It made his deep, buried feelings, come erupting out of his heart, so much so, that it physically hurt.  All of this was too much for him. After six years, he was finally in the arms of Seunghyun, but he wasn’t prepared for this, no matter how much he tried to convince himself.

The other man continued to call out for Seunghyun until it was a soft murmur in the distance. Jiyong was starting to see stars in the corner of his eyes because Seunghyun was pressing too tightly against his chest. He tried wiggling out of his grasp and the older man got the hint and lowered his hand from Jiyong’s mouth. But they both were still very much aware of the arm around his waist and their bodies pressed together.

Jiyong took in slow breaths, trying to gain some oxygen back to his deprived brain so he could think straight, but the way Seunghyun was staring at him was making it almost impossible.

After a few seconds, Seunghyun broke the silence. “Sorry,” he mumbled and his lips. “I just didn’t want you to run away again.”

Jiyong was still very much uncomfortable; hearing and feeling Seunghyun this close to him was making his heart beat out of his chest.

The older man softened his features and continued, “Please, please Jiyong just talk to me.”

When he finished, he brought his free hand back up and cupped Jiyong’s cheek.

“You have no idea how much I hate myself for what happened. But please let’s talk. I need you to hear me out,” he said and Jiyong could hear the agony and guilt in his words.

He looked into Seunghyun’s eyes and saw how his words matched his face. To him, it looked like the older man was about to break down any second. He felt Seunghyun’s fingers tighten and loosen their grip over and over again and it took him back to when they were together. It was a habit of Seunghyun’s whenever he held him. And Jiyong tried his best to not let a shudder pass over him, so instead he in his breath and bit his lip needing some sort of distraction.

Seunghyun clamped his eyes shut and blinked back tears as he leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

“Please Jiyong. Please say something. Anything.”

He heard the hitch in Seunghyun’s voice as he pleaded. Watching every flutter Seunghyun’s eyes made, Jiyong watched as something passed through him then. He felt the hand on his cheek move down and Seunghyun’s thumb slide to his lip to pull it from behind his teeth. The older man was no longer looking into Jiyong’s eyes, instead he had become fixated on Jiyong’s lips as his thumb continued to ghost over them.

The shudder Jiyong had been holding back finally tore through his body, and just when Seunghyun was leaning down to press their lips together, he ripped himself away. But the older man was faster. He felt the movement and grasped onto Jiyong’s forearm to stop him yet again.

Jiyong writhed, trying to break his arm loose from Seunghyun’s grip.

“Let go of me,” he demanded and after another move, he was slipped from the older man’s grasp. Then, without having a second thought he brought that fist up and punched Seunghyun in the jaw, knocking him to his knees.

“You have no right to touch me anymore. Not since the day you walked out on me.” Jiyong was so angered that his shoulders were rising and falling and his breaths were short and shallow. He was trying his hardest to fight back the tears that stung the corners of his eyes.

Seunghyun cupped his jaw and sat in shock from what just happened. He was completely speechless as all his previous thoughts were scrambled around his brain after the punch. He assuaged his jaw, opening and closing it a couple of times to see how bad the damage was.When he felt a sharp pain, he knew there was going to be one hell of a bruise in the morning.

When he finally stopped seeing two of everything, he slowly stood up and faced Jiyong. He hoped to see the younger man regretting what he had just done, but the person that looked back at him was nothing like the Jiyong he knew. He was aware he had ed up when he was younger. He wanted to tell Jiyong everything, but if this was how he was going to react, he might end up in the hospital by the time he was done.

“Jiyong, I’m sorry,” he offered.

But Jiyong wasn’t going to take it.

“Sorry doesn’t cut anymore, Seunghyun,” he seethed, articulating every single word and putting all his bitterness behind the older man’s name.

Then he walked away, leaving him to be consumed all over again by the overwhelming guilt. He was so pissed off at himself and Jiyong and this whole mess of a situation. And just like Jiyong, he felt like punching something. His fist collided with a wooden post that held up a sign for the fair and pain shot through him as he shouted into the afternoon sun while kicking the dirt around his feet until he slumped down to his knees. His entire body shut down and his vision went blurry. He brought his hand up to his face to rub his eyes and that was when he felt the tears running down his face.

~

Jiyong made sure that he wouldn’t run into Seunghyun for the rest of the time he volunteered. He avoided any small job that required going outside, as his group had moved into the small building where the arts and crafts show and cooking competitions were to be held. They spent the rest of the week setting up the entries, dividing them up into different sections. There were some really beautiful pieces of art that he helped hang as well as some things that he did not want to know what they were made out of.

By Thursday, they had finished setting up everything in the fair grounds. A few rides were around the area, some animals were sleeping in the barns that had been finished, and all the stalls that Jiyong helped paint looked great. After they were done for that day, Jiyong was walking out to his car in the parking lot when he heard his name being called. When he turned around he saw that it was the coordinator, Dave.

“Jiyong, can I ask you for a favor?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“I got a call earlier today from our activities director and it seems like the face painter that we hired had some family emergency come up and I remembered your work on some of the signs for the fair. Would you mind filling in for her? Of course we’ll pay you and everything and you wouldn’t have to do anything fancy, just simple designs for the kids.”

Jiyong didn’t really have to think about it. He could tell by the look in Dave’s eyes that he was desperate and he did not mind at all. He liked kids and thought it would be fun if he could put a smile on their faces by painting a butterfly or a tiger on them.

“Of course, I don’t mind at all. When do you need me?”

“Well, tomorrow and Saturday we have off and then the fair opens Sunday after church. So how does Sunday through Friday from 2 p.m. -7 p.m. and then Saturday 2 p.m. -9 p.m. sound?”

“Sounds good. But just wondering, why seven hours on Saturday?”

“We have the auction that night so more people will be here.”

Jiyong nodded in understanding but then thought about something. “Um, sir, one thing. I don’t have any face paint.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll buy some and have it ready for you when you come on Sunday.”

“Okay, see you then,” he said and opened his car door.

“Thank you, Jiyong. You have been a great help,” Dave said and smiled.

Jiyong smiled back and climbed into his car to finally go home.

He spent his days off being lazy. He would sleep most of the day and when his grandfather would yell at him, he would whine about how much hard work he did at the fairgrounds, to which the old man would just roll his eyes and go back to his book.

~

When Sunday came around Jiyong thought it would be a good idea to use the very outdated computer that his grandparents had to look up some simple designs for the face painting he would be doing later. After taking more than 20 minutes to find 3 different ones he printed them off and headed over to the fairgrounds.

When he arrived, he found Dave who walked him over to a little station set up for him with paint, brushes, and mirrors all on a table with chairs under a tent. Jiyong noticed to that his table was right next to a fresh lemonade stand, to which he was very happy about that. Who wouldn’t love fresh lemonade whenever they wanted?

After he thanked Dave, and Dave thanked him, he started setting up and organizing the paint. By two o’clock, the first few people trickled in. He wasn’t very busy but there was enough work to keep him occupied. The kids that came were adorable and all too excited to get their face painted. One girl asked him why he didn’t have any face paint on his face and he replied that he liked all the designs too much to choose. The little girl giggled and said he was silly and said that she wanted to choose one for him. So he held out the design sheets and she pointed to a purple and pink flower and then pointed to just under the corner of his eye and said that it should go there.

He chuckled and approved and then asked her which one she wanted. She picked the same flower and said that they could match. His smile widened as he agreed, and then he picked up the paint and started painting on her small rosy cheek. When he finished, she said that she wanted to watch and make sure that he would do the flower too. He picked up the mirror and proceed to paint the same flower on his own cheek. When he was through, he set the mirror down and leaned towards the girl, asking her how she liked it. She giggled some more and then wrapped her little arms around his neck. He laughed and gently squeezed back. Her parents thanked him many times and he said that he was all too happy to do it, seeing her smile was enough to make his week.

After they left, it was about 5 in the afternoon and Jiyong asked his new friend, Mary, a girl just a few years older, at the lemonade stand next to him, if he could have a drink. She nodded and went to make one for him. He tried paying, but she said he deserved it for all his hard work. Smiling, he thanked her and put the straw in his mouth to take a huge gulp of the ice-cold drink. However, as his eyes scanned the crowd, they stopped on an all too recognizable figure just a few yards away.

Seunghyun was over by a hot-dog stand wearing his bright green volunteer shirt, fitted dark jeans, and his work boots. He had the sleeves rolled up a little till they came up and hugged his biceps. Jiyong’s mind went blank and suddenly the perfect happy mood that he was in was shattered in a blink. Because no matter how good Seunghyun looked in such a simple outfit, the only thing that stood out was the nasty purple, blue, and yellow bruise that was on the older man’s jaw.

His drink soured in his mouth and he set it down on the table next to him. A huge sense of guilt consumed him as he saw the aftermath of what had happened the other day. He was still very shaken at what Seunghyun tried to do, and a part of him truly believed that he had gotten what he deserved. But then another part of him thought that no one deserved to get punched.

When Mary noticed that Jiyong was distracted, she leaned over the counter and said, “Ah, Seunghyun… Is that who you’re staring at?”

Jiyong quickly shook his head in denial and looked to her. “N-no, I wasn’t.”

“He is some nice eye candy,” she said as she continued to stare in the man’s direction and rested her head on her propped up arm. “Too bad for those rumors…”

“What rumors?” Jiyong was now very interested in what she had to say.

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” She took her eyes off of Seunghyun and looked to Jiyong. “There were some rumors a few years ago that um… well… that he didn’t have a girlfriend for a reason.” She said, and made sure to emphasize the gender.

Jiyong’s eyes widened and his palms starting sweating. “Y-you mean he’s-“

“Gay,” Mary inserted. “Well let’s just say that when the rumors started going around, he didn’t deny them. I heard he got a lot of for it. You know, being in this small town and all. People are ignorant.”

Jiyong’s mouth was hanging open and he didn’t know what to think, let alone how to respond. So all he could muster was a small, “Oh”, and then looked back in Seunghyun’s direction, trying to see if he could put some of the pieces together of the new information. As he kept looking in his direction, he saw Seunghyun receive his order and smile to whoever gave it to him, or at least as much as he could with his injured jaw. He then watched him step to the side to put his desired toppings on and even from where he sat, Jiyong knew; ketchup, mayo and onions. He never changed. When he finished with topping his hot dog, Seunghyun turned around and leaned against the counter as he ate his small dinner.

Jiyong saw as Seunghyun swept his eyes over the crowd, just like he had done. He was gazing at people passing by, and Jiyong saw a small smile in the corner of the older man’s mouth.

He must be having a good day, Jiyong thought, which for some reason made him smile in response. Seunghyun’s eyes kept wandering around until they slowly made their way to Jiyong’s direction. The younger man in a breath as their gazes locked from across the distance. Jiyong felt his palms become more sweaty. Seunghyun finished chewing and swallowed quickly. Jiyong felt his heartbeat pick up and his eyes darted to the older man’s jaw once more. He tried not to show what he was thinking but something must have passed through as Seunghyun continued to look at him because he scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

Their gaze connection was broken by a little boy coming up to Jiyong asking if he could be a Batman. Jiyong turned his full attention to him, saying that he could have anything he wanted. However, as he got the paint ready, he flicked his eyes to see if Seunghyun was still looking at him, because he could feel the man’s eyes on him, but when he looked, the man was gone.

And that was when Jiyong realized it. He wanted Seunghyun to look at him.

~

After that day, no matter what, Seunghyun seemed to always go to the same hot dog stand for dinner and despite himself, Jiyong would count down the seconds hoping that he wouldn’t be too busy with a kid. On Friday night, Jiyong was in the middle of painting a beautiful swirls in the corners of a little girl’s eyes . She kept giggling every time his brush would pass over a certain spot and sometimes he would just to hear her sweet laughter.

This entire week had been so amazing just for the fact that he found himself smiling more than he had in the past years, or longer. He figured it out the other morning when he woke up and his cheeks hurt but once he discovered the cause, he could wait to continue. When he was done with the little girl he smiled at her and told her how beautiful she looked, her parents reminded her to say thank you and as she walked away Jiyong’s eyes drifted across the distance. And he was there, watching his every move, except this time. Jiyong didn’t let his smile fade. He looked to Seunghyun and as the older man realized that Jiyong wasn’t turning cold towards him, his eyes widened and he stood up straight in a fluster, almost knocking over his soda.

Jiyong stifled a laugh at his antic to try and right the drink and when Seunghyun looked back he showed a barely there smile to him in return. He didn’t try and come to talk to Jiyong after that, and Jiyong admitted that he was a little disappointed, but couldn’t dwell on it too much.

Baby steps. He reminded himself. Baby steps.

~

The next morning at breakfast, Jiyong’s grandmother made an alarming at the table and Jiyong almost spat out his eggs at her words.

“Jiyong, remember I put you up for the auction tonight, alright?”

“What?” He exclaimed once he was able to breathe.

“The auction. I signed you up to be in it, remember?”

“Grandma, I have no idea what you are talking about. And I can’t be in an auction. For pete’s sake, I’m a person.”

“Oh, dear, it’s not like that. It’s a work auction. The young people of the community volunteer for the auction and then others bid for their services, like helping with yard work or babysitting, and the proceeds will go to the Millers to help rebuild their house,” she explained.

Jiyong hummed in understanding but then confessed, “I don’t mind helping out, but Grandma, you never talked to me about it.”

“I didn’t?” her features turned sympathetic. “I’m so sorry, I thought I did! Well, anyway, it starts at 8 in the big tent in the center of the grounds. We’ll be there around 7 because your grandfather has been craving some good ol’ fair food,” she said and patted her husband on the hand that was on the table.

When Jiyong arrived at the fairgrounds that day he could tell that it was going to be busy, and sure enough it was. He even had a line of 10 kids for an hour at one point. It helped pass the time and before he knew it, it was almost 6 o’clock. Jiyong sighed as he said good bye to the last kid in his line and he sat back in his chair; exhausted.

“Whew,” he huffed out and heard Mary in the stall next to him, laugh.

“That was quite a rush you had there,” she commented.

He wiped the sweat from his brow using his forearm knowing that his hands were covered in paint, and said, “Yeah, that was pretty crazy.”

He knew that it was past the time that Seunghyun usually came over and when he looked, his thoughts were proven right, he wasn’t there. But it reminded him of how hungry he actually was, so he cleaned his hands off with the already dirty rag and then walked over to the food stands. He found a place that served funnel cakes and as soon as he saw it, he knew he needed the sugar covered dough.

While he waited for it, he heard something that caught his attention off to his left.

“What’s the doing here?”

The voice belonged to a man who was a walking definition of redneck. He had a cut off flannel shirt with ripped jeans and several missing teeth. Jiyong flushed and suddenly he felt scared because he thought the man was talking about him. But as Jiyong looked closer, he saw that the man was looking at two other men standing together at a beer stand. And one of them was Seunghyun.

“Is that your boyfriend, ?” The man asked again. As his gaze looked Seunghyun and Robert, the man Jiyong had met the other week, up and down.

Jiyong was frozen in his spot as he watched the scene unfold. In a split second, Robert threw his beer down and flung himself at the man who was insulting them, yelling, “He’s more of a man then you will ever be,” while Seunghyun was using all his strength trying to hold him back.

The crowd around them quickly dispersed, not wanting to be associated with this fight and its context. The man just sneered and spit on the ground at Seunghyun’s feet as he walked away.

“Your order’s ready,” a voice right next to Jiyong said, breaking him from his concentration.

“O-oh ok, thank you,” he said and took the plate only to bring his attention back to where it was and he heard Seunghyun talking to Robert.

“Robert- Robert, calm down. It’s ok, don’t worry about,” Seunghyun said as his hands gripped onto the man’s shoulders.

“It’s okay? It’s okay?” Robert’s chest was moving up and down from trying to get calm. “You heard what he called you, right?”

Seunghyun curtly nodded. “And you’re not going to do anything about it?”

“There’s no point. I’m used to it here. Just forget about it,” he asked his friend and when Robert seemed to want to go after the guy more, Seunghyun placed his palm against the center of his chest and pushed slightly and asked once again, “Please?”

Robert nodded and ran his hands through his hair to calm himself down more while Seunghyun looked around to see how many people had actually seen. And that was when he saw Jiyong staring at him. His jaw slacked in shock for a moment before he found himself walking towards the younger man.

“How much did you see?” he asked.

“All of it,” Jiyong admitted apologetically.

He looked at Seunghyun and saw how shaken the encounter made him.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said and then ran his hand over his face.

“I didn’t know… I mean… you-“ Jiyong’s mind was on overload. When he had talked to Mary the other day about ‘the rumors’ he didn’t actually accept they were true. He thought that she was just very intuitive about people. But now that he had heard a complete stranger yell the obscenities, he couldn’t believe it.

Seunghyun was gay. And people actually knew it.

All these years, he had thought that the whole reason Seunghyun had left him was because he didn’t want him because he was a guy. But now… All these people knew. And that pissed him off in the worst way. They knew, but the one person who supposedly had meant so much to Seunghyun all those years ago, didn’t.

Jiyong felt his body start to shake with anger and finally he whispered, “H-how could you?”

“What?” Seunghyun asked, and Jiyong could tell he genuinely didn’t know what he had said but he simply didn’t care.

“How could you,” he spoke louder. “After all these years?

Seunghyun tried to pull Jiyong off to the side so that they could finally go talk but Jiyong ripped his arm away, yet again and refused.

“No Seunghyun,” and in a more hushed tone he continued, “we wouldn’t want these people getting the wrong idea about us, would we?”

“Damnit Jiyong, would you just let me explain?”

“No. I have to get back to work,” he said and left the older man for what felt like the thousandth time.

~

Jiyong continued painting in a mindless state. The kids, although still cute, couldn’t bring a true smile to his face. He would play along, but his thoughts were occupied with Seunghyun and how all of his belief about him and their relationship had just been thrown out the window.

In no time, his grandparents came and found him to tell him that it was almost time for the auction. Jiyong tried to fool them by joking around with them.

“Pops, you should hire someone to do the chores since I might not be available anymore.”

“Naw,” the older man laughed. “I already hired someone for my project and he’s way better with power tools than you.”

“Hey now, I learned a few things while I volunteered here,” Jiyong added.

“But do you know how to help fix a house?” his grandfather questioned back.

“Ehh, not so much, I guess,” Jiyong admitted. “But whose house are you fixing?”

“Oh, right, remember that storm the other night? We saw it on the television but none of it actually made it our way.”

“Yeah.”

“Well one of my friends who co-owns that lake house with me, you know the lake next to it that we always go fishing in? Well part of that house was damaged and I told him that I know just the guy to fix it.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry to hear about that. I hope it gets fixed quickly. I liked that place,” Jiyong said and he finished just as they got to the tent where the auction was happening.

“I’m sure it will be perfect once he’s done with it,” his grandfather assured him.

Being curious Jiyong asked, “Who did you hire?”

His grandfather smiled, “Seunghyun of course.”

Jiyong tripped over his own feet; he was still jittery at even the mention of his name.

“S-Seunghyun?”

“Yep, and he’s gonna start tomorrow. Now get in there and get in line before it’s too late,” his grandfather chided to which Jiyong could only obey.

The auction was simple enough to understand. There was a board of volunteers that were up for bid and underneath they had their skills and jobs they were willing to help with; most common being yard work, housework ,cooking and childcare. Jiyong saw that the list was long so he was kind of hoping that since he was towards the bottom of the list, no one would really buy him and with that thought he got in line, waiting for his turn to go up front.

All of the bids started at $20 and he observed that they went up in incriminates of $5. Most bids went up to about $30-$40 and one young lady who was there for child care, had a bidding war that went up to $60. She must have been amazing because several people looked disappointed they didn’t get her. About half an hour passed and they had already made it through most of the list and in no time, Jiyong found himself waiting to go up next.

He looked out into the audience and saw his grandparents; giving them a small wave and then when he heard his name, he wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and stepped forward. Giving the audience a nervous smile he stepped up to the mic, to properly introduce himself as the Lees’ grandson, Jiyong. He heard murmurs of “Hello”s from the audience and then the auctioneer announced that he was willing to do almost anything outside or in, including preparing meals. He snickered at that, knowing that that was his grandmother’s doing. She wanted to gloat that her grandson was a good cook.

The auctioneer said, “Alright let’s start at the usual, $20.”

A woman raised her hand and said, “$20”

And then it started. Jiyong got up to $40 when someone from the back whom he couldn’t see said, “$45.”

Then another person said, “$50”

Jiyong smiled proudly, he didn’t expect to be this popular.

“$100,” the voice from the back called out again.  

People started stirring in their seats to turn to see who jumped to such a high price and when he heard the crowd start to murmur even louder than before, he suddenly had a sick feeling pass over him.

“Would the man who bid $100, please move forward?” the auctioneer asked.

Jiyong knees almost buckled as he watched Seunghyun emerge from the crowd with a blank look on his face that looked straight into him.

“A-alright,” the auctioneer stuttered. “Do I hear $105?”

He couldn’t come up with a reason as to why Seunghyun was doing this and it drove him absolutely insane. Jiyong looked around hoping that this was not happening and that someone would be able to see the distress on his face and save him from this inevitable fate. When he saw no one, he looked back to Seunghyun who stood right in front of him, still not taking his eyes off of him.

“$100…”

Seunghyun lifted his arms up crossing them in front of his chest and gave Jiyong a knowing look saying, ‘Try and get out of this now; with all these witnesses around.’

“Going once…” the auctioneer announced.

Jiyong clamped his eyes shut.

“Going twice…”

He didn’t ever want to wake up from this nightmare. He wasn’t ready.

“Sold!” the auctioneer confirmed as he smashed down the gavel onto his podium. And Jiyong felt like he had just smashed his heart with it.

So, how much do you hate me?

Don't forget to leave a comment, message me on tumblr or even yell at me on twitter, I would love to hear from you all!