Just warning you now that this chapter is not exactly how I planned it, but I feel it's better this way. Not everything gets explained just yet, but it will.

Happy reading!

As soon as they moved on to the next person to be auctioned off, Jiyong sprinted to the back of the tent and out into the grounds. He was shaking, his head was spinning, and he felt like he was going to be sick any second. When he tried closing his eyes to stop the world from turning on its side, the lights from the ferris wheel burned themselves to the inside of his eye lids. He kept seeing flashes of color and hearing the loud noises that surrounded him until he finally couldn’t take it anymore. Finding a bench a few feet away, he sat down and put his head between his legs and tried to start breathing again.

“That didn’t just happen. That didn’t just happen,” he repeated to himself over and over again. He was at a complete loss as to why Seunghyun had just done that in front of basically the whole town. He knew, somewhere in the depths of his frazzled mind, that the man was making a point to try and force him to talk. Jiyong thought that after these past two weeks they were making some form of progress, well more like he was the one making progress. But what scared him the most of this whole situation, was that he was no longer in control.

This entire trip, he had tried so hard to stay in control of his feeling and emotions, and tried even harder to control every little encounter he had with Seunghyun, just so he wouldn’t fall back into being that little, hurt, and scared teenage boy that he used to be. However, as soon as he came within five feet of Seunghyun, all of his walls would start to crumble. And every time, he desperately tried  to build them back up as fast as he could.

“Jiyong,” a voice called off in the distance. But he didn’t have to raise his head to know who it was. “Jiyong where are y-“

The younger man stood up and backed away from Seunghyun’s approaching form.

He felt defenseless and every word that he spoke was laced with anguish.  

“Why?” he choked out.  “Why did you have to do that?”

Seunghyun stepped closer but Jiyong flinched backwards at the advance, so Seunghyun slowly put his hands up to show that he was surrendering.

“I did it so that you would finally talk to me. You’ve been hot and cold all summer and avoiding me and I got fed up with chasing you around. I just want to talk and explain everything.”

Jiyong felt stinging in the corners of his eyes and he pressed the heels of his palms into them so he wouldn’t cry. He strained to save face. He wasn’t going to let himself breakdown right here and now.

“Dammit!” he yelled, cursing himself. He didn’t want it to be like this. He hated how he felt right now. And he sensed that his outburst had caused people to take notice of him. “I know I’ve been avoiding you, and I know we need to talk-,” his voice shook as he took a deep breath. “- but you had no right to pull that in there. My grandparents were in there for god’s sake!”

“I had no other choice! You kept running away every time I even looked at you-“

“Then what was I doing this past week?” Jiyong interjected, starting to get some of his fight back in him. “Hm? Did I run away all those times you came over to eat dinner right in front of me?”

“No, but you didn’t even try to come to talk to me either,” Seunghyun threw back, his voice getting angrier.

Jiyong winced at the man’s harsh tone but he knew he deserved it. When he opened his eyes, he looked around trying to find something to distract himself and calm down, but what he saw was a few people standing around and watching their interaction.

Seunghyun could feel Jiyong was shutting himself off yet again and he stepped closer to try and stop him from doing that.

Taking in a deep breath he said, “None of this is going like I planned. I’ve been picturing this conversation thousands of times, but never like this.” He finished by bringing up his hand to squeeze Jiyong’s upper arms.

For a second, Jiyong wanted to sigh in relief at having Seunghyun touch him so gently, letting him know that he was still right in front of him. But as the gazes of the onlookers bore deeper holes into his back, he shook out of the older man’s grasp only to wrap his arms around himself.

“Seunghyun,” Jiyong begged and shut his eyes, almost as if he was praying. “Please, not here. Anywhere but here. People are watching…”

The older man finally took notice of the uninvited company that was surrounding them and said in a comforting voice, “Alright. Let’s go back home.”

Jiyong shook his head. “I can’t do this tonight. I need-,” he took a breath, “- I need to gather my thoughts.”

Seunghyun could hear defeat in Jiyong’s voice and he knew that this time, Jiyong would keep his word.

“Tomorrow?” he offered. “I have to go to the lake house to fix it up, but why don’t you come with me?”

He watched as Jiyong rubbed his arms, like he was trying to keep warm while contemplating the offer.

“Look, there won’t be anyone else there,” he said, seeing if that would entice the younger man. “So we won’t have anyone to overhear, okay?”

Jiyong nodded but still refused to give and answer.

“Look, I-,” Seunghyun took a deep breath thinking about how to say his next words without the younger man taking them the wrong way and then continued, “I-I bought you. I didn’t want to do it, but I need to talk to you and you need to talk to me as well. So let’s just use this little project that your grandfather wants me to do as an excuse, and then finally talk.”

Jiyong didn’t respond right away but Seunghyun saw him slowly give in as he slightly nodded his head. “O-okay.”

And then he swiftly his heel and left.

Seunghyun raised his arm as if to reach out to Jiyong’s retreating form but then he felt a hand on his own back. Jumping at the touch, he looked to see who it was and saw Mrs. Lee standing beside him.

“Mrs. Lee?” he asked, just to make sure. His heart started racing at the thought that she heard everything.

Her eyes softened as he gazed at him and the she took his hand that was still hanging in the air and grasped it.

“Seunghyun, let him be for now. I know how much it means to you that he’s back.”

His breathing started to quicken and his eyes darted all over her face, trying to find out how much she knew and heard.

She patted his hand and a squeezed it. “Don’t fret. He’ll go with you tomorrow.”

Seunghyun stuttered and gaped at the older woman. “D-Do you kn-“

She held up her had to silence him and said, “I have no idea what’s happened between the two of you. All I know is that he was his happiest when you two were teens. I just want my grandbaby to be happy again.” She gave him one more squeeze and then left to go find her husband.

Seunghyun sat down on the bench and ran his hands over his face, thinking about what the older woman just admitted. He wondered how much she actually knew about what happened between them, but by the looks of it, she didn’t care. She wanted Jiyong to be happy and if Seunghyun was able to be the cause of that happiness, then he was more than willing to sacrifice anything to get it.

He decided, once he had finally calmed down, that it would be best to head home and to get some sleep. It was going to be a long day tomorrow and he didn’t want to risk a sleepless night to make it worse. That last thing he wanted was to have another fight with Jiyong, just because he only got a couple hours of sleep. So he went home, had a quick shower, and took some sleep aid medicine to ensure a full night’s rest.

~

The next day Seunghyun woke up to the smell of cinnamon floating throughout the house. Throwing on a basic white shirt and sleep pants, he went downstairs and found the delectable source: his mother had made cinnamon rolls.

Walking into the kitchen, he kissed her on the cheek and said, “They smell amazing, mom.”

She smiled and replied, “Just thought you would like some breakfast before you go out to the lake house. And I made extra so you can take some with you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled while he started making his coffee. Despite not having any caffeine yet, his body felt like it was coursing with electricity at the thought of what today would bring. He was nervous, terrified, and excited all rolled into one.

His mother announced that the rolls had cooled off enough for them to eat and he scarfed it down within seconds, wanting to officially start his day as fast as he could, with Jiyong, even if he did have to buy him. Bolting back upstairs, he changed into some pants that he could work in, but decided to keep his white shirt on, and went outside to check if he still had all the tools he needed for the day. When he was outside though, he got sidetracked by the sudden movement in the corner of his eye. He looked over and noticed that the porch swing at the Lee’s house was moving back and forth. Slowly he walked closer until he saw that the person occupying the swing was in fact Jiyong.

“Hey,” he said in a soft voice as not to startle the man too much.

It didn’t work however because Jiyong jumped about two feet into the air, clutching his chest. “!” He tried calming his heartbeat down and looked to Seunghyun. “I didn’t hear you come over.”

Seunghyun offered a small smile as an apology and said, “Sorry.” He opened the screened door and walked in. “I saw the swing moving and wanted to see if it was you.”

Jiyong gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s okay.”

Looking into his cup Jiyong said, “I’m just about done with my coffee…” He paused, not really knowing what to say and killed time by rubbing some of the sleep out of his eyes. “When did you want to leave?”

Seunghyun’s heart started beating faster. Jiyong looked so much like the boy from all those summers ago when they would wake up together. His hands itched to move the hair that had fallen into his eyes, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin next to his if only for a moment.

When Jiyong looked back to him, waiting for an answer he stuttered, “Uh… um… a-any time. Whenever you’re ready.”

The younger man nodded and wrapped the blanket he had more tightly around himself.

“Alright. Let me take a shower. I’ll meet you in like half an hour.”

He stood up and started moving towards the small stairs that went up to the back door when Seunghyun spoke up again.

“Jiyong,” the younger man turned around with is hand on the door knob and Seunghyun felt his heart race again. “T-thank you.”

Jiyong narrowed his eyes in confusion but Seunghyun answered his unspoken question. “For doing this today.”

Jiyong was still for a few seconds more and then gave a small nod. “See you in a bit.” And then continued in the house.

~

Seunghyun was leaning against his truck when he saw Jiyong emerge from the house next door. He smiled warmly, thinking that the younger man wouldn’t come out and that Jiyong was going to run away again, but no, not this time. The younger man walked towards him, dressed in fitted worn out jeans and a simple red t-shirt as he carried what looked liked a basket.

“Grandma was cooking all morning and I didn’t know what for until I was walking out the door.” He held up the basket, “She made fried chicken and potato salad for us for lunch.”

“Wow, that was really nice of her.” Even to his own ears he could hear that he was just a little too enthusiastic. He tried playing it off and cleared his throat while turning to open the door. “Well if you’re ready, let’s go.”

Jiyong walked around to the passenger side of the truck and climbed in setting the basket in between him and Seunghyun, creating a little barrier. Seunghyun frowned slightly at it but he knew that it was still awkward for the both of them at this point. And he prayed that after today, it will be completely different.

They drove through town headed towards the interstate when Seunghyun remembered something. “Hey,” he leaned down to the cup holder and pulled out the thermos, handing it to Jiyong. “You looked really tired this morning so I brought you some more coffee.”

Again, Jiyong smiled but Seunghyun knew it wasn’t a true smile.

“Thanks.”

And that was pretty much the whole conversation for the rest of the car ride. Seunghyun stopped at a small gas station and told Jiyong that he wanted to run in and grab some bottles of water for them for the day. He asked if he wanted anything and the younger man shook his head. However, when he was inside getting the water he saw Jiyong come into the store and pick out a jug of iced tea. When Jiyong saw that he was caught he stumbled out an excuse, “I-uh… I thought it would be good to go with our lunch.”

Seunghyun chuckled and went back to gathering the bottles of water and then took them to the counter to pay for everything. Jiyong tried to pay for the tea but Seunghyun took it from him and placed it next to the water and handed the clerk some cash. He also caught the barely there smile from the younger man.

They got back on the road and within another forty-five minutes they arrived at the lake house. Jiyong gasped as he saw the damage that had been done to the roof on the left hand side as well as the damage that continued down the house.

“What happened?” he asked as he helped grab things from the truck to take them inside.

“Well, that storm that happened a while back caused a tornado and the winds ripped off some of the roof. The damage on the side of the house is from debris, I think,” Seunghyun explained.

As they set the items on the counter, Seunghyun could feel how hot it was inside the small building, so he went to find a fan that he knew was somewhere in the house. When he got back he saw that Jiyong was already putting the food into the fridge and he decided to go out and get the rest of his tools so he wouldn’t be in his way. Setting the tool box on the floor of the living room he heard Jiyong ask, “Are we going to fix everything today?”

Seunghyun quietly laughed. “No, there’s too much. But we need to focus on repairing the roof first and cleaning out the room below the damage. I’ve heard that we’re supposed to have some pretty bad storms later this week and I don’t want the house to flood.”

Jiyong nodded and shoved his hands in his back pockets, not knowing what to do next. But Seunghyun asked him to grab the other box that was still in the truck and to meet him upstairs.

As he waited for the younger man to return, he went into the room and saw the sun pouring in from the gaping hole. There were leaves and branches everywhere with a few bugs crawling about here and there. Thankfully, the door to the room was shut the entire time since the damage because it helped keep everything contained to this room, leaving him with less work. He heard Jiyong come up the stairs and into the room, setting down the his box next to the other one.

“…” Jiyong cursed as he looked up. “Are you sure we can fix that?”

Seunghyun nodded. “Yeah, it’ll take a while, but we’ll get it done eventually.” He walked toward Jiyong and saw as his eyes widened at the sudden advance. Seunghyun crouched down and opened his tool box.

Jiyong stood there not knowing what to do or how to help really so he suggested, “Why don’t I go find a broom and try to get the debris out of here.”

“Alright, sounds good,” Seunghyun said as he looked up to him and smiled gently.

Jiyong bit his lip for a second and then went to go locate a broom. Seunghyun pulled out his measuring tape and pulled the desk from the corner of the room to under the hole so he could stand on top of it and measure how wide it was. While he was taking all of the measurements, Jiyong came back and started cleaning around the room, so that he could have a clutter-free space to work.

They worked in silence for the most part. Seunghyun would ask Jiyong to hand him a tool or Jiyong would ask him to move a little bit, so he could clean around him. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as Seunghyun thought it would be. After working under the sun for a while, Seunghyun decided that he was going to try and find a ladder from the shed out back so he could climb onto the roof to put a tarp over the hole. When he found one he grabbed the giant grey tarp and hauled it up to the roof.

He stuck his head through the opening and said, “Hey, Jiyong, can you pass me some of those screws?”

Jiyong looked up to where the voice was coming from and quickly shot out, “What they hell are you doing up there?”

“I need to cover the hole so nothing else gets inside. Plus, it’ll make some shade so it won’t be so hot,” Seunghyun replied. He watched as Jiyong fiddled with his hands nervously while looking at him.

“J-Just be careful, okay?” He said, as he went to grab the screws and Seunghyun’s power drill.

Stepping on the table, Jiyong cautiously handed Seunghyun the supplies. When the older man reached for the drill, his hands passed over Jiyong's and it sent a shiver through him. The younger man must have felt it too because his eyes flicked to Seunghyun’s and he quickly withdrew his hand and climbed down.

Seunghyun let out an exasperated sigh when he stood up, knowing that Jiyong wouldn’t hear.He just wanted him to stop being so scared of him. He began to spread out the tarp and soon the hole in the roof was covered. Working around the outer edge, Seunghyun screwed down the tarp so it wouldn’t fly away and tried sealing the edges as much as he could in case it did rain.

When he finished he went back to the room and grabbed his small notebook that he took measurements down on and asked Jiyong to follow him. They went to his truck where he had a small table saw and some two by fours of wood.

Seeing Jiyong’s confused look he explained. “I need to cut some beams to replace the ones from the roof.” He felt sweat falling down the side of his temples and his hand came up automatically to wipe it away. “Let’s cut them down and take them up to the room and then we can take a break alright?”

“Okay,” Jiyong agreed.  “But I don’t know how to use this.” he pointed to the saw.

Seunghyun chuckled. “It’s okay. I just need you to help mark out measurements and to steady them as I cut.”

“Alright.” Jiyong said as he walked toward the pile of wood in the truck.

Seunghyun showed him what to do and where to look in notebook for the measurements. Pulling out a beam, Seunghyun extended a measuring tape, showing Jiyong how he wanted it and then let Jiyong go on and continue marking, while he went back into the house and grabbed a sturdy enough table to hold the table saw. They eventually got into a rhythm and within half an hour all the wood was cut.

Jiyong tugged his shirt away from him saying, “Damn, it’s hot out here.”

Seunghyun laughed. “Yeah, but I bet it’s hotter in Atlanta. Don’t you have worse humidity than here?”

Continuing to pull at his shirt, Jiyong nodded. “Yeah, they don’t call it Hotlanta for nothing. But I guess I just got used to the weather since I’ve been here. It’s nice.” He offered a small tight smile but before Seunghyun could say anything else, Jiyong changed the subject and said, “Okay, let’s get these inside and then eat. I’m starving.”

Seunghyun nodded in agreement and followed after the smaller man. It was funny watching him try to carry the longer beams up the stairs and when he let out a stifling laugh, Jiyong narrowed his eyes and yelled at him.

“You can see me struggling here, so stop laughing and help!”

Seunghyun was too willing to do that, he had been simply waiting to see if Jiyong would actually ask him or not. He didn’t know what was going through the younger man’s head but so far today, things had gone pretty well. Neither of them had brought up that topic yet but Seunghyun decided it was best to let Jiyong choose the pace today.

Walking back down stairs Seunghyun immediately went to the sink to wash his hands while Jiyong pulled out the food Mrs. Lee prepared for them.

“Do you want me to heat up the chicken or do you still like it cold?”

Seunghyun wanted to melt at the thought that Jiyong had remembered that little fact about him. He had always preferred his leftover fried chicken cold.

“Whatever you like. It doesn’t matter to me,” he eventually said as Jiyong stared at him.

“I’ll just pop it into microwave for a bit then,” Jiyong decided and walked straight towards Seunghyun.

The older man’s breath caught in his throat as Jiyong stood in front of him holding the plate of chicken. Jiyong continued to look at Seunghyun until he suddenly felt defeat and looked down asking, “Well, aren’t you gonna move? The microwave is just behind you.”

“Oh,” Seunghyun said as he pushed himself away from the countertop. “Sorry.”

The rest of the time was spent in another long moment of silence while they ate in the living room. Both of them sat on opposite ends of the couch but Seunghyun saw the brighter side of it, that they were actually on the same couch was a miracle. Jiyong reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV to probably kill time.

He flipped through the limited channels until he stopped on a crime drama that Seunghyun had actually been watching recently.

“I haven’t seen this one yet,” he interjected and took another bite of potato salad.

“Oh, you watch this show too?” Jiyong questioned and turned to him. Seunghyun nodded, still chewing his food.

“It’s a good one, the serial killer changes his appearance and-” Jiyong cut himself off and looked back to the tv with a smile starting to spread across his lips. “Sorry. I don’t want to ruin it for you. I just really like the show.”

“It’s okay.” Seunghyun said but felt a small burst of courage and continued, “It’s good to see you smile.”

The smile he had been talking about quickly disappeared as Jiyong tucked his bottom lip behind his teeth. He didn’t say anything but kept his eyes on the TV. Seunghyun felt like he may have just pushed a little too far but it was worth it for seeing that smile one more time.

They ended up watching the whole episode and afterwards Seunghyun said that they should get back to work. Jiyong took his plate from him and set it in the sink together with his own while Seunghyun started going up stairs to decide what to do first.

Eventually, he figured it out and Jiyong joined him back in the room and then they got down to repairing. Seunghyun stood up on the table, trying to hold a piece of wood up and drill at the same time, but he wasn’t coordinated enough for that. Getting frustrated by watching the older man struggle, Jiyong hopped up on the table and moved to hold the beam up. Seunghyun, who was busy putting in the screw, turned around when he’s done only to come face to face with Jiyong. He heard the younger man in a breath the same time he did and they just stood there, staring at each other.

“Thanks,” Seunghyun said, breaking the silence.

Jiyong’s eyes fluttered and swallowed. “No problem.”

Seunghyun wanted so much to crash against Jiyong at this moment and press his lips up to his. They were so close and he longed to taste him again. His mind briefly entertained the idea of whether or not he still tasted like s'mores, thinking about their first kiss. But the memory was almost too painful to dwell on any longer so he looked down and jumped off to grab another piece of wood.

They put up a few more beams of wood. Seunghyun made a conscious decision to stay as far away from Jiyong as he could despite being on the small table. He was screwing in the last screw when Jiyong asked, “Did you hear that?”

He stilled his movements, trying to listen. He was about to shrug it off as the younger man was hearing things but just as he brought the drill back up, he heard it. A large roll of thunder that sounded a little too close for comfort. Finishing up quickly he jumped down and ran to the window to look outside. He cursed himself for not noticing it sooner, but as he looked out, he saw thick black clouds coming right towards their direction.

“Jiyong, it looks like a pretty bad storm is coming in. Let’s go grab all the equipment from outside and bring it into the house. Hopefully, it won’t last too long and we can go back to work when it’s over.”

Jiyong agreed and hopped down, following Seunghyun outside. They swiftly broke everything down and as they were bringing in the last of the supplies, the skies opened up. Rain seemed to pour down in buckets and both of them got slightly wet as they rushed into the house.

The younger man set the tool box down on the ground and promptly used the hem of his shirt to wipe off the water from his face. Seunghyun watched as he exposed his stomach. It was a little round, but he knew the younger man was no where near being fat. The skin looked so soft and again for the second time, he found himself thinking about a past memory of when he and the boy would lay on the futon and he would rub his hands all over him because he couldn’t go a second without having the warmth of him against his fingertips.

Jiyong cleared his throat, breaking Seunghyun from his thoughts. He smoothed down the damp fabric over his stomach, trying to cover himself up and then hugged himself, shying away from Seunghyun as he moved to sit on the couch.

The rain continued to pour outside and Seunghyun thought of the room upstairs. Grabbing some pots from the kitchen, he went up and saw water dripping in from the ceiling so he set the pots on the table and ground to catch the falling water. On his way back down stairs he went into the other bedroom and found a couple of towels.

When he got to the couch he said, “Here,” and threw one in Jiyong’s direction.

Jiyong mumbled his thanks and used it to dry off his hair while watching the TV that he had apparently in his absence.

Seunghyun then too dried himself off but as he was doing so, a sharp pain shot through his shoulder. He gasped but tried to keep it hidden from the younger man as he assuaged the joint.

“Are you alright?” he heard Jiyong ask.

Trying to play it off he said, “Yeah, I just think I overworked it today.”

“Oh… okay,” Jiyong said and then turned his attention back to the TV.

Seunghyun noticed that it was the same show from earlier and before he knew it, they had watched a whole other episode. He took a glance outside from the widow to his left and saw that the rain was still coming down hard. The tv announced that yet another episode of the show was coming on as part of some marathon so he thought it was better to continue watching it than sitting in awkward silence.

After another two episodes and a few glasses of sweet tea, the rain had still not let up and he was starting to get hungry again.

“Hey, would you want to order a pizza?”

Jiyong gave him a strange look and countered, “Why don’t we just go home and we can eat dinner there?”

Seunghyun had hoped Jiyong wouldn’t question it because he wanted to stay here as long as he could with the younger man because it was pushing five o’clock and they had yet to discuss their everything. So thinking on his feet really fast, he came up with a decent excuse.

“Because the rain shifts the rocks on the mountains that we drive through and there's been some recent rock slides in this area, so I don’t want to risk it.”

Jiyong looked shocked and Seunghyun mentally patted himself on the back for coming up with that because it seemed to deeter Jiyong from debating the issue but then he asked another question.

“But what about the pizza guy? Won’t he have to drive through that?”

. Seunghyun thought but then realized that the lake house was pretty close to the town and answered, “He’d be coming from town so he wouldn’t take those roads.”

Jiyong nodded, taking in Seunghyun’s answer and relented. “Yeah, pizza sounds good. I think I saw some menus on the fridge, so I’ll go order.”

The younger man went and placed the call and when he came back to the couch he said, “It’ll be about forty minutes and it’s going to be eighteen dollars.” As he finished he pulled out his wallet and was starting to take money out but Seunghyun reached over to stop him, he didn’t want Jiyong to pay for it.

It was only a matter of seconds when he realized what he had done. His hand was on top of Jiyong’s. They both paused in their movement and looked to one another. The older man saw so many emotions pass in Jiyong’s eyes and it made his heart break because the most noticeable one was pain. He curled his hand instead of just touching. He was now holding it and watched as Jiyong’s eye shut.

The younger man took in a deep ragged breath and whispered, “Please, Seunghyun…”

He brought up his other hand and pulled it out of Seunghyun’s grasp and then brought his feet up onto the couch, wrapping his arms around himself as if to shield every part of his body from Seunghyun.

Seunghyun felt a sting in his heart watching the younger man recced into himself yet again and so he told him, “I’m not letting you leave here until we genuinely talk.”

Jiyong’s only response was burying his face into his knees as his last resort to hide from Seunghyun.

~

When Seunghyun heard the doorbell ring over the tv, he quickly got up and took the pizza from the rain-soaked delivery man, making sure to tip him extra for his trouble. When Seunghyun thanked him, he assured him that it was no problem but also asked, “Have you guys heard the news?”

Scrunching his eyebrows together, Seunghyun replied, “No, what’s going on?”

“There’s a tornado warning for this area. The storm seems to be getting worse.”

Seunghyun heard Jiyong groan from the living room at the news and he thanked the guy again for the update.

“Well, this is just ing perfect,” Jiyong grumbled as Seunghyun walked past him to go to the kitchen.

Seunghyun grabbed a couple of plates and opened the box to start dividing slices. However, when he opened it, he saw that the pizza was covered with mushrooms; something Jiyong hated and probably forgot to ask for them to take off. So he took the liberty and did it for him, hoping that his work would be praised and he and Jiyong would be one step closer to each other.

“It’s not that bad. The damage is only on one side of the house so there’s a whole other room we can use to stay the night,” Seunghyun tried explaining as he walked back out and handed Jiyong his pizza.

He watched Jiyong stiffen at his comment but decided not to respond, instead he sat down and kept watching the tv.

“Um… Seunghyun?” Jiyong murmured. The older man turned to look. “Wasn’t this pizza supposed to have mushrooms?”

“Yeah, it did,” He gave a simple smile. “But I know you don’t like them so I took them off for you.”

What he saw next was not the reaction he was hoping for, it was in fact the complete opposite.

“I specifically ordered this pizza because it came with mushrooms,” he huffed out.

“But you didn’t used to like them…” Seunghyun said, he was suddenly very confused.

Jiyong stood up and started back towards the kitchen and said in a raised voice, “Well, I do now.” He traded out his old slices with new ones and walked back to the living room. “I wish you would just stop assuming things about me.”

Seunghyun stopped chewing at that moment and swallowed what was in his mouth only to fire back, “Are you ing kidding me right now?”

Jiyong huffed and rolled his eyes, as he took an aggressive bite out of his pizza.

“No, Jiyong, that’s it. I’ve had it. Don’t just ignore me like you’ve been doing all summer. I would have known your ing preference of pizza if you would have said more that three words to me all summer. But no! You just give me the cold shoulder and continued on like nothing happened.”

Jiyong threw down his pizza onto it’s plate and stood up, pointing at Seunghyun.

“Act like nothing happened? Act like nothing happened?” His voice almost cracked at the end. “If anyone is to blame for acting, it’s you, because all this time you’ve done nothing but act around me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” It was Seunghyun’s turn to stand up, as he abandoned his pizza onto the coffee table. “I’ve been the one who’s been trying to get us to talk about what happened six years ago.”

“Fine, you want to talk? Then let’s ing talk!” Jiyong’s chest was heaving and Seunghyun saw a flickering flame start to burn in his eyes from anger. “You left me six years ago, on a bed, and vulnerable. Explain to me what the happened.”

Seunghyun suddenly lost the fight in him. He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to start a sentence but all the words bouncing around his head weren’t stringing together.

Jiyong scoffed, “See, you can’t even explain yourself. Even when we were kids you never would open yourself up to me. And again, now, when you’re the one who is demanding me to talk, you can’t.”

Seunghyun growled and ran his hands over his face. He was so frustrated with himself right now, he felt like punching another hole into the house.

Jiyong continued talking in his silence, “If I hadn’t heard that there were rumors about you and if I hadn’t seen that guy call you a ,” his voice choked on that word,  “Then I would still believe that all those years ago, you were just confused.” He ended the last word with condescendence laced within it.

“No- that’s not… ugh!” Seunghyun growled again. His tongue felt like it weighed a ton in his mouth. He just couldn’t get any words out and it was pissing him off so much.

“See, even now I can see it. You were just confused. Now and back then,” Jiyong seethed out.

“Jiyong, would you stop trying to think you know how I feel,” Seunghyun finally shouted back a reply.

“Well, if you would actually talk to me and tell me how you feel then I wouldn’t have to play this constant guessing game.”

“Well,” Seunghyun started, matching Jiyong’s angered tone. “If you would just shut up and listen then you would know that that’s what I’m trying to do! Yes I was confused. Who wouldn’t be when you’re that age and your whole world turns upside down. I barely knew how to have with a girl, so I started panicking when we got too close. I was letting my hormones control me and when it came down to getting more intimate with you I freaked out because I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Jiyong jaw dropped. “And you think I did?”

“Well… yes. You already knew that you liked guys but I had just come to the realization in only a couple months. And I didn’t want to lose you again so I jumped in without really thinking. I was just a stupid teenager!”

“So you’re saying,” Jiyong’s voice got extremely low and calm. “That everything we had back then was just hormones?”

“Yes… no…” Seunghyun stumbled out trying to save this dying conversation.  “I’m saying that I was afraid of losing my best friend, and scared of the way I was feeling about you.”

“And what was it exactly that you felt? Hmm?” Jiyong’s voice dropped out and he paused, taking a shuddering breath before uttering his next words. When he looked to Seunghyun, the older man saw his eyes becoming watery as he choked out, “Did you know that the entire time we were together you never once said you loved me.”

Seunghyun felt like he was going to pass out from the guilt that crushed down on him from Jiyong’s admission. A slide show of all those summers flipped by in his mind and he quickly realized that Jiyong’s words were true, he couldn’t even remember telling Jiyong anything of how he was feeling, and he never did say that he loved him. But he also saw the reason why.

Slowly he built up the courage to say his next words, he sat back down on the couch, not looking at Jiyong and said, “It was because I didn’t love you.”

“Wha-” Jiyong’s voice got stuck in his throat. “What did you say?”

Still not looking at him, because knew how shattered Jiyong must be looking right now, he explained. “I was a teenager, in my first major relationship. I was letting my body control me. I-” he took a breath, “-I was just on the verge of having for the first time and I was scared out of my mind. I was suddenly terrified that I wasn’t going to be good or live up to expectations because you had already been with someone. I was also scared that I would hurt you and you would change your mind about be me because I wasn’t good. It may not seem like a good excuse now, but then, for me, it was. And I was petrified. I-I knew I had strong feelings for you... but looking back at it now... I wouldn’t call it love.”

Seunghyun heard something drop to the floor and when he looked over he saw that it was actually Jiyong who had fallen to his knees. He had fallen onto all fours and the older man could see him shaking followed by the sound of crying soon after. Seunghyun wanted so bad to go over and scoop him up in his arm and tell him the rest of his story but he knew that if he even moved an inch closer, Jiyong would probably run away again. After what seemed like a lifetime, Jiyong finally lifted himself up and rested on his knees. He wiped away the tears from his face and Seunghyun saw the fire from earlier rage back to life in his eyes.

“You destroyed me, Seunghyun! Do you know how much of a disaster I was after that night? I thought you hated me and us and what we were. I thought I wasn't touchable after that.” Jiyong pounded on his own chest. “I thought that I was something no one would love. Because why would they, when the love of your life walks out on you.”

He in another ragged breath and continued with tears streaming down his face. “You were like an earthquake. I completely fell apart after that. I couldn't do anything. I never went to that art program. I stopped doing art altogether. I even tried to have another relationship but I realized that I was too scared to get intimate with anyone because of what you did to me that night.” He in his breath and wiped his eyes again. “I waited hours after that. I waited all night for you to come back.”

“AND I WAITED SIX YEARS FOR YOU TO COME BACK!” Seunghyun yelled. He knew that Jiyong was in pain but suddenly he wanted to tell Jiyong how much pain he had gone through, to prove that he wasn’t the only one suffering.

“I waited every ing day for two summers for you to come back. I called and e-mailed you but you never answered me. And then-” He stopped himself and inhaled deeply. “And then I got into an accident.” He let his confession hang in the air.

Jiyong furrowed his eyebrows and tried to ask what happened, but Seunghyun shook his head and looked to his hands. “One of the horses I was riding got spooked and threw me off it and into a barbed wire fence.” He heard Jiyong inhale a short breath but continued with his story. “I was in the hospital for weeks. And for some stupid reason,” Seunghyun pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes to stop tears from falling, “Every time I closed my eyes I dreamed of you. I dreamed that you somehow heard about what happened to me, and that you came to my bed side. That you returned to me. But every time I opened my eyes you weren’t there and I had to relive the fact that you would never come back over and over again.”

“Seung-Seunghyun, I didn’t know…” Jiyong spoke in a soft voice.

“Of course you didn’t know,” Seunghyun fired back. “You thought you were the only one who was abandoned that summer. But you weren’t.”

“Well you never came to see me after that either. I waited a whole day for you to come over and explain yourself,” Jiyong argued, still kneeling on the floor.

All of a sudden, something in the far recesses of Seunghyun’s memory clicked back together. “I-I left town the next morning…” he said more to himself as he continued to look at the floor, remembering those couple of days. “I got a call from mom saying she forgot something important so I had to drive to Knoxville…. And then she made me spend the night there.”

“Did you even think about trying to call me back then?” Jiyong asked and Seunghyun could feel the sarcasm in his voice.

Seunghyun clenched his jaw and continued, “I did try to call you and tell you what happened. But you wouldn’t answer your phone. And then finally when I got back home, I went to go find you only to hear from your grandmother that you ing left town!”

He finally had the courage to face Jiyong again but when their eyes connected, Jiyong shied away and looked the other direction.

“You’ve been gone for six years Jiyong. Six years,” Seunghyun repeated, his voice gained some steadiness back.

“Yeah?” Jiyong stood up and went over by the window to watch the raging storm outside. “And what have you been doing in those six years for people in this town to think you’re gay?”

Seunghyun felt his stomach drop. He didn’t want to tell this part of his story just yet. His palms started sweating so he rubbed them dry on his jeans and took a deep breath before he explained.

“After my accident, I came to realize that you weren’t coming back. I was hurting, not only from my injury, but also at the thought of never seeing you again and how you never tried to even contact me. I was pissed off and I-” He stood up and started pacing. “-I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me.”

He heard Jiyong scoff at that comment but they still weren’t facing one another. Seunghyun walked behind the couch and grabbed the top of it, kneading the cushion in his hands to give them something to do.

“I wanted to get back at you for not coming back, so I went to Nashville with a couple of friends. We got drunk at a bar and almost all of us picked up girls that night.”

Seunghyun chanced a glance to Jiyong and saw him wrap his arms around himself again.

“I thought that maybe I just needed a girl to forget everything that had happened back then. I thought that it would be the best way to erase all thoughts of you, because I couldn’t stop seeing you everywhere. So I took her to a motel and…”

He stopped talking at that point. He was shaking from all the emotions coursing through him, but nothing was stronger than the amount of regret that he was feeling. His knees felt like they were going to give out on him so he made his way back to sit on the couch.

That was when he heard Jiyong speak up. “And… what did you do, Seunghyun?” His voice sounded miles away.

“I-we… We didn’t do anything. We started too but I felt absolutely nothing. I thought it was that we were just too drunk so I went out another night and the same thing happened again.”

Seunghyun heard a curt laugh from Jiyong and he looked up again and saw the younger man shaking his head slightly and rubbing his arm.

“That was when I really started to believe that I was attracted to men,” Seunghyun admitted and Jiyong hugged himself tighter at the words. “I was fed up with feeling so confused about everything. I started drinking more just to numb everything out until finally I decided to go up to Nashville alone, and prove to myself that I was attracted to men. So I looked up some random gay bar online and went. The first night, I felt so out of my comfort zone that I didn’t even drink that much. But then I started going every weekend, by myself and I started to make friends there and I felt more comfortable in my own skin.”

Seunghyun stopped talking at that moment and ran his fingers through his hair. His heart was racing a mile a minute at the memories of those bars that he went to. He was terrified to tell Jiyong about what happened next. But he knew that he had to.

“Then one night, I got really drunk and I… I started making out with this random guy.”

Jiyong suddenly turned around and looked at Seunghyun with silent tears running down his face. His heart broke at the site but he knew that he had to get this out. “We eventually left and went to a motel and for the first time in a long time I felt good. He made me feel something that I hadn’t felt since… since…”

“Since me…,” Jiyong choked out. After saying those words, he slid down the wall and sat on the floor with his knees bent in front of him. And Seunghyun could hear him trying to cover up his sobs.

“That night and a few more weekends spent in Nashville were enough to convince me that I was attracted to men, but…”

He let his words hang in the air because this is what this entire story was all about and so he looked to Jiyong and said with all the confidence he could muster, “But every morning, following those drunken nights, I would dream about you, Jiyong.”

The younger man lifted his head at the sound of his name and stared at Seunghyun as he continued. “I would dream of us, and my mind would pretend that it was you who was lying next to me. That nothing had happened all those years ago. That you had come back and we had worked everything out and that you were mine.”

Seunghyun’s voice cracked at the end and he felt a tear slip from his eye. Quickly he wiped it away along with his nose. It felt so good to finally say all of this out loud. His chest felt lighter and his head started to clear but he knew that he still had many more words to say.

“So it took you ing other guys to realize that you were gay?” Jiyong seethed.

And just like that Seunghyun’s brief bout of happiness shattered.

“No- well… it’s not how I meant it.” Seunghyun tried to explain.

“No? But that’s exactly what it is. I wasn’t good enough so you found someone else.”

“NO!” Seunghyun shouted, clamping his eyes shut as he stood up. “That’s not what it was, for me. It was the fact that no matter who I was with, I would always think back to you. You were the only person I ever saw when I closed my eyes. You were it, Jiyong. You… it was always you… Even now with you here, it makes me feel like that teenager again. I don't know what to say or how to act. I just know that I want to constantly be in your presence. Because that’s what you do to me. You make me feel something that no one else can. And I am still addicted to that, to you, after all these years.”

He crossed the room  and when Jiyong saw him coming towards him, the younger man stood up, pressed up against the wall. Seunghyun felt like his skin was on fire. His head was congested with a thousand emotions and memories but he wanted to show Jiyong how he was feeling. He reached out and gently took Jiyong’s arms into his hands and became eye level with him.

“Jiyong, I want you to look at me. Look into my eyes and see for yourself how much you mean to me. How none of those guys meant anything to me. I want you to see how this has all hurt me in the process too. I am not the same man I used to be. And although I am not the one you think I am. I want to be a man worthy of you. Look and see how much I care for you and have come to love you over all of these years of your absence.”

Jiyong shuddered at the confession and Seunghyun slid his hands up to cup the younger man’s face. He watched as his words hit Jiyong like a ton of bricks. His eyes darted all over Seunghyun’s face trying to see if his words had any truth to them. Seunghyun felt him start to shake more and he could feel tears spilling from the corners of his eyes until at last he couldn’t bear it and crumpled into Seunghyun.

The younger man sobbed into Seunghyun chest and he could feel his small hands grasping onto his shirt. His arms wrapped around him as he tried to console him. However, Jiyong abruptly pulled away, pushing Seunghyun back and wiped the tears from his face.

“I can’t, Seunghyun. I can’t do this,” Jiyong said as he backed away. “It’s been so long since everything happened. You’re a different person than what I knew back then. But I feel like I haven’t changed at all. I’ve been stuck for years now.”

Seunghyun furrowed his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?” He stepped closer to the man and tried to reach out to touch him but Jiyong moved away.

“I’m talking about that,” he pointed to Seunghyun’s hands. “Every time I got close to someone back home, every time I tried to erase what happened, I would suddenly flash back to that night. Every time I would feel vulnerable and scared that every person I got close to would run away from me. I never let anyone know because of that. Trust me, I tried. I forced myself to be someone else for whoever I was with to the point of being physically sick.” He in a deep breath because all of those words seemed to come pouring out in one and then he said, “You scarred me, Seunghyun. You scarred me.”

And with that confession, Jiyong ran upstairs, slamming the door close and shutting himself off from the world. Seunghyun stood in the living room with the rain still pouring outside and he felt like this whole situation had just come to a standstill and he doesn’t know where to go from here.

Hours seemed to pass by and Jiyong never came back down. Seunghyun already cleaned up their forgotten pizza as well as washed the dishes that they used throughout the day. He didn’t know what to do with himself and he found himself pacing back and forth, debating on whether or not to go talk to Jiyong or to give him his space. He decided to give him some more time by turning the TV back on, but it just became background noise because his mind kept wandering to the man upstairs.

After much thought and berating himself, Seunghyun stood up and slowly ascended the stairs, making his way towards the room Jiyong was in. He knocked softly, letting him know that he was right outside the door and wanting to come in. When he didn’t hear a response, Seunghyun cracked the door open and saw Jiyong laying on the bed. Taking soft steps into the room, he realized that Jiyong wasn’t just laying on the bed, he had fallen asleep.

Seunghyun walked over to the edge of the bed and saw redness surrounding his puffy eyes, accompanied with tear streaks down his cheeks. Jiyong’s hands clutched the sheets beneath him, even in his sleep, and Seunghyun felt like the worst human being on the globe to make such a beautiful person have this much pain evident on his face.

He gently brushed the hair away from Jiyong’s eyes with his own trembling hands, flitting his fingertips across the tear stains on his cheek. Seunghyun wanted so much to erase them away forever. His touch must have been felt by the younger man, because Jiyong scrunched up his eyes and his face contorted in pain while he still slept. His slight frame shuddered and without thinking about the repercussions later, Seunghyun walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside him. He pulled Jiyong close to him and wrapped his arms around him, hoping that Jiyong would be able to feel his tenderness and sincerity through his touch, even while he was asleep. He wanted him to feel how much he regretted everything and to feel how he didn't want to ever leave his side again. He dared to nuzzle his nose into Jiyong’s hair and smell the scent he had been missing and dreaming about all these years.

A few minutes passed by and Seunghyun felt Jiyong starting to stir in his arms. The younger man's smaller frame began shaking and it wasn't until he heard a hitch breath, that he realized; Jiyong was crying. Seunghyun pulled him closer and rested his nose in the crook of Jiyong's neck, letting him know that he was right here as he listened to him breakdown in his arms. And it was only a matter of moments before he too started to cry as well.

Jiyong must have felt his tears falling down his neck because the younger man turned in his arms and came face to face with him. Both their eyes were puffy and Jiyong tried to speak through his tight throat. Seunghyun rubbed his thumb at Jiyong's hip and the touch seemed to spark something in the younger man. Jiyong looked up and finally choked out between sobs.

"I don't want to feel broken anymore."

He buried his face into Seunghyun’s chest and cried as hard as he could. The fingers that had been crumpling the sheets were now threading themselves through Seunghyun shirt as it became drenched with Jiyong’s tears. Seunghyun cried along with him, feeling all the pain ooze out from Jiyong and himself. He gripped him tighter, wanting to show that no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere this time.

Jiyong shifted and brought his head up to Seunghyun’s level and pressed his lips against his. A violent shiver went through Seunghyun at the touch of the soft lips. Pressing back, Jiyong clawed at his front and was suddenly desperate to leave no space between them. However Seunghyun didn’t want to get too carried away. He brought his hands up to cup Jiyong’s face and ever so slowly, pulled the younger man away.

Jiyong whimpered at the motion and clutched tighter onto Seunghyun’s shirt while he whispered, “Seung-Seunghyun,” with his voice cracking in the middle and then continued to cry.

"Shh shh shh," Seunghyun his hair and kissed the top of his head. "Don't worry I'm not going anywhere."

Seunghyun shifted down and placed his lips over Jiyong’s eyes, kissing the tears away and softly said, "I just don’t want you to rush into this. You've gone through so much because of me and I can wait until you’re ready."

He finished his words and slid his hand around Jiyong’s thin wrist thats by his chest. His thumb skimmed across the delicate skin and he can feel Jiyong’s pulse racing. He then brings both of their hands towards his mouth and places a sweet kiss along the younger man’s knuckles.

“I’ve been waiting for six years to have you right in this very spot. Now you’re here. Don’t think for a second that I’m going to let you go,” Seunghyun murmured against his hand and then let it fall between them.

Jiyong breathed deeply, trying to regain air into his lungs and stared up to Seunghyun with wonder in his eyes until he finally asked, “Do you love me?”

Seunghyun lips parted for a second, taken aback by the question but answered quickly, “Yes. I love you, Jiyong.”

He didn’t wait for Jiyong to tell him if he loved him. He honestly didn’t care at this point because after the past couple years, when he went through all his self doubt and finally came to the conclusion that he had grown to love Jiyong, he wanted nothing more in the world to tell him that, and now he finally had.

Seunghyun leaned down and pressed his lips to Jiyong’s and his heart exploded when he felt the younger man press back. Their lips parted and Seunghyun tasted the sweetness of Jiyong once more. His tongue moved inside Jiyong’s mouth while Jiyong’s arms s their way around his waist, their lips dragged across one another, hungry to savor every taste until finally Seunghyun rolled them over and he was hovering above Jiyong.

Their panting breaths rushed out at each other and their faces were flushed red. Seunghyun shifted all his weight onto one arm and brought his hand up to caress his right cheek, to which Jiyong leaned into the caring touch. Seunghyun smiled at the gesture, causing Jiyong to reciprocate the smile. Not being able to bear how happy he was at the sight, Seunghyun leaned down again and pressed his lips against Jiyong’s, but this time is was a simple sweet kiss.

When he pulled back, Jiyong was still smiling, but his lips parted and in one breath he said, “I love you, Seunghyun.”

He collapsed then and it was his turn to bury himself into Jiyongs chest. “I have waited so long to hear that,” he mumbled against his sternum.

Jiyong ran his finger through Seunghyun’s hair as they laid on the bed. His body relaxed and welcomed the pressure of the older man on top of him. Minutes passed and then Jiyong stilled underneath him.

“Seunghyun?” he questioned and pulled the older man to look at him. “Why are you crying?”

Seunghyun brought his fingers up to his cheeks and felt the wetness. He pulled them back just to see with his own eyes and then looked to Jiyong. His eyes swelled up again and then he lowered his head back down, rubbing his nose in the middle of his chest.

“I’m sorry…” He mumbled almost incoherently. “I’m just so sorry.” His voice stuck in his throat but he kept repeating it over and over again. “...I’m sorry… so sorry.”

Wrapped in each other’s embrace, Jiyong kneaded the flesh on the back of Seunghyun’s neck until both of them drifted off to sleep, with the sound of rolling thunder clashing in the distance.

Thanks for reading, and always don't forger to leave a comment. I love hearing from you guys and what you thought about it! ^~^