Ok just warning you now that this is a beast of a chapter, like 20 pages in word. I just wanted to cover an entire summer of events and I hope you enjoy finding out some of the history between them.

Happy reading!

Saturday night, Seunghyun found himself over at the Lee's house, sitting on the couch as the light from the TV casted shadows over his and the boy next to him, faces. Jiyong had caught him before he left for work that morning and asked if he wanted to come over and have a pizza night to catch up. Just seeing the boys smiling face again made the decision for him and he said that he would be over around 8.

At first it was kind of weird talking to the boy again after not seeing him for a whole year. He noticed that he was finally losing the roundness in his face, his limbs grew longer, and his voice became deeper. But the more he talked with his friend the more he realized that some things had changed about him that weren’t as visible as the others. Just watching the way Jiyong talked and carried himself made Seunghyun think that this wasn’t his childhood friend anymore. Not that he had become someone that Seunghyun didn’t like, it was just new. And the more he talked with him, the more he wanted to find out what had changed since the last time they saw each other.

“So you started high school this past year right? How do you like it?” Seunghyun asked as took a sip of soda.

“Well it’s a lot different than middle school for sure. The first couple months were pretty rough.” Jiyong paused and took a bite of pizza. “It seemed like the friends I had, got new friends over the summer last year and we all kind of went our separate ways at the beginning of school.”

“But you made new friends right?”

Jiyong sat for a second as he chewed his pizza. “Eventually. I had opted for an art class as one of my electives just because it seemed easy, but as the semester went on I found myself really enjoying the class and I had made a couple friends who liked it too.”

“So you like… paint and stuff now?” Seunghyun’s face twisted as he tried to picture Jiyong in front of an easel and canvas slapping random blobs of paint over it.

Jiyong watched his friends face and started laughing. “No, I don’t paint. I just draw for now, maybe next year I’ll work up to painting.”

“Well that’s something I never expected you to do. You always seemed to be off doing something outdoors.”

Jiyong shrugged his shoulders and took another bite of his pizza.

“And what's with this?” Seunghyun asked as he waved his hand in Jiyong’s general direction. “You’re all quiet. Normally you’d be talking nonstop… but now…”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ve changed. Besides I thought that was one of the things you hated about me, how I never stopped talking and bothered you all the time.” Jiyong admitted and quickly looked away as he reached for the can of soda on the coffee table.

“Ji, you know that I could never hate you.” Seunghyun said, thinking about their argument last year. “But I was a real jack back then and I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” Jiyong mumbled. His eyes still looked towards the floor but he couldn’t help but smile at hearing his nickname from the older boy.

“No it’s not.” Seunghyun said and brought his hand up to the boys head and ruffed up his hair. “I want to make it up to you this summer, but I do have a job so we won’t be able to hang out as much, ok?”

“Yeah sounds good.”

“Cool. Do you want to watch a movie or something? I can run back over to my house and grab a couple dvds.”

Jiyong just nodded his head, taking Seunghyun off guard again. He really wasn’t used to the boy being so quiet. But before he stared too long, he got up and went over to his house. When he came back he saw Jiyong sitting crossed legged in front of the TV trying to turn it to the proper input for the dvd player. He noticed that he was having some trouble, so he walked over and took the remote out of the boys hand.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve had to come over here to help your grandparents with this,” he chuckled as he pressed a couple buttons on the remote, causing the TV to flicker and up popped the logo for the dvd player signaling they were on the right input. “They just don’t understand technology and now I can see it runs in the family.”

“Hey!” Jiyong pouted. “That’s not fair. I’m awesome with tech stuff.”

“Whatever, just pick a movie.” Seunghyun laughed, holding out a few different choices. As he watched the boy look over them, he saw that there was a sports movie that he had grabbed and it reminded him of something. “Hey Jiyong, a couple of friends from school like to play football on Sunday afternoons. Would you wanna come?”

Jiyong looked up at Seunghyun and scrunched up his nose a bit. “Um Seunghyun… you may have the body of a football player because you work on a farm and all but I can barely walk 10 feet without tripping.”

“Oh come on just try it, plus it will give you a chance to meet my friends.”

The younger boy watched as he did his best begging face until he finally caved in.

“Alright fine. But if I play and you lose because of me, you’re to blame.”

“Okay, okay. Now pick a movie.”

~

Seunghyun put the truck into park on the side of the road by a large field and looked to the boy in the passenger’s seat. "Oh come on, it’s not gonna be that bad," he said to Jiyong who had the look of utter disgust on his face.

“Seunghyun, I don’t think you understand how bad I am at sports.”

“Bull. You used run all over the woods behind the pasture and get into all sorts of trouble. You might have changed, but not that much,” he said as he got out of the truck.

“I’m tellin’ you, you're gonna be disappointed.”

“Just get out of the truck already.”

Jiyong groaned but eventually pulled on the handle, opening the door, and slid out of the vehicle.

Walking over to the center of the field, Seunghyun saw a small group people standing together. One of them saw him and Jiyong walking towards them and turned.

“Hey, Seunghyun you made it!”

At this all the others turned to greet Seunghyun with high fives or pats on the back. Jiyong noticed that all the boys were built like Seunghyun; broad shoulders, tall, and well built. Country boys, he thought, Does working on a farm automatically guarantee that you have muscles?  All the guys looked like the typical jocks that he was used to seeing at school. How am I going to play football with these guys? I mean they could break me in half with their pinky finger.

“Who’s this?” One of the boys asked as he looked to Jiyong, interrupting his train of thought.

“Guys this is my friend Jiyong. He’s my neighbors, the Lee’s, grandson. He and I’ve been friends for years since he would spend the summers with his grandparents.” Seunghyun spoke up.

All the boys gave Jiyong a warm welcome, saying “Hi” and what not.

“So if you spend the summers here, where are you from?” asked the boy closest to Jiyong.

“I’m from Atlanta.”

All the guys broke out into ‘oooh’s’ and the boy who asked the question followed up with, “So you’re a city boy?”

Jiyong just nodded his head and Seunghyun spoke up again. “Hey I thought we were here to play football, not talk.”

And with that the boys broke up into teams. Unfortunately for Jiyong they had already sort of picked teams before they arrived and it left Jiyong on the opposite team of Seunghyun.

Jiyong looked panicked and Seunghyun tried his best to reassure him. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Basically all you have to do is try and catch the ball and run with it,” the older boy said him.

“Easy for you to say…” Jiyong mumbled and walked over to the side his team was on, dragging his feet along the way.

The game went pretty well and Jiyong was a lot better than he gave himself credit for. Seunghyun knew he was good at running and the boy proved that he was able to catch the football and run with it just like he had told him to. Although he kept on noticing something strange about the younger boys actions. Every time someone would tackle him, he would scurry and try to get out from under the other boy. At first Seunghyun thought that he was just trying to protect himself because all the boys were bigger in size, but after he himself had tackled Jiyong, he knew something was off.

He had grabbed onto the boys’ waist and it made his body twist so when they both fell to the ground, Seunghyun laying on top of Jiyong. The younger boy stared up at him, panting from running and when Seunghyun smiled him, about to say something funny about his hair, when he noticed that Jiyong’s cheeks flushed a deep red and his eyes widened. And just like that Jiyong pushed him off and put a good 5 feet between them.

“Ji, are you ok?” Seunghyun asked.

The boy turned his back to him, acting like his was brushing the dirt off himself. “Y-yeah I-I’m fine,” and then walked back over to his team’s side.

Seunghyun shrugged it off but still he couldn’t help watching the boy every time it happened.

By the end of the game, Jiyong’s team had won and all the boys gathered around him, giving him hugs while saying, “Man, we didn’t think you’d have it in you, city boy.”

Jiyong flashed a shy smile and admitted, “Neither did I.”

Everyone migrated over to where they had put their water bottles and extra clothes. Seunghyun picked up his bottle and chugged down a large amount of water. “God, it is so hot today,” he said after he swallowed the last few drops. He lifted his shirt up and used the hem of it to wipe the sweat from his face. When he dropped the fabric he saw that Jiyong was staring at him, with his mouth slightly open. Seunghyun waved his hand in from of the boy, “Earth to Jiyong…”

Jiyong snapped out of his daze and Seunghyun watched as the same redness appeared on his cheeks like when he had tackled him. But before he could think about what it meant, one of his friends came over and wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

“Seunghyun, you totally need to keep bringing Jiyong every time we play.”

“Don’t tell me. Ask him,” he said and pointed in Jiyong’s direction.

“Jiyong, will you come out with Seunghyun and play with us from now on?”

Seunghyun watched as Jiyong had an internal debate, he could tell because it was written all over his face. Seunghyun thought it was cute at how awkward he looked, but he had to admit that the boy was pretty good at football. He ducked from under his friends arm only to put his own around the boy who hadn’t given his answer yet. He felt Jiyong shake a bit from the unexpected contact and Jiyong looked up to him.

“Do you want me to?” he asked, just to Seunghyun.

“Yeah. It’ll be fun and it’ll be a good way to hang out this summer.”

Jiyong seemed to like his reply because he flashed a smile and then turned to the other boys and said, “Sure, I’d like that.”

~

“Whoa, Seunghyun...This is…”

“I know right!”

“And your parents just let you bring all this stuff up here?”

“Yeah! They actually thought it was a cool idea. Plus this way they wouldn’t have to listen to me play video games or hear my music that they’re always complaining about.”

Seunghyun watched as Jiyong kept looking around in amazement. He had brought the younger boy to the barn behind his house to show him what he had done to the loft on the second floor. Right after summer had ended last year, he and his father were cleaning out the barn and ee noticed that a lot of the space on the second floor, the loft, wasn’t being used. So he asked his dad if he could used it as a place for him and his friends to hang out. His dad agreed but only on the condition that he keep it clean and there was to be no alcohol anywhere near it. Of course Seunghyun reassured his father and him and a couple friends went around town finding couches and chairs that people were getting rid of and turned it into a nice hang out spot. His dad even suggested he move his gaming system out there and use the electric hook up for the power tools.

As the year passed Seunghyun and his friends kept finding things like shelves, a couple tables, and a few lights to hang around the place, and now as Jiyong was looking around, Seunghyun could proudly say that this was by far his favorite place to hang out.

Jiyong traced his hands over the TV in amazement. “Dude, this is seriously so cool.”

Seunghyun stood off to the side, leaning against the banister with a smug look on his face. “I know.” He pushed himself off and walked over to the other side of the loft. “And look at this.” He pushed on a panel of wood and it swung out, showing the pasture below and the setting sun.

Jiyong ran over to the newly opened window, but really it was the size of the barn door just below them, and gasped at the sight. “Wow… its beautiful. This is just…”

Seunghyun smiled at how awestruck the boy was. It was like seeing a kid in a candy store. “You know, if you ever want to get out of the house and I’m at work, feel free to come up here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Jiyong ran over and gave Seunghyun a big hug. The top of the boys head reached the middle of his chest and he felt the boy mumble, “Thank you so much!”

He chuckled and went to go pat the boy in his back but as soon as his hand touched him, Jiyong stiffened and quickly withdrew himself from him, but Seunghyun caught the familiar sight of red cheeks once more before the boy turned away from him.

Okay something is definitely going on with him and I am so going to find out what it is by the end of the summer or so help me…

~

And that’s how the summer passed for them. Although they didn’t hang out as much like they used to when they were younger, they always found time to see each other. More times than not, Jiyong would already be waiting in the loft of the barn playing a video game or something. And no matter what, Jiyong would always greet him with a smile. He had gotten so used to seeing the boys bright face that when the few times he wasn’t in the loft, Seunghyun felt his shoulders slump and a weight in his chest.

Over the next couple weeks, Jiyong and him would go play football with the boys, and as the time went by, the younger boy kept getting better and better. Which made Seunghyun praise him more and more, just to see the ever present blush when he did so.

A couple times, Seunghyun's friends would join him and Jiyong up in the loft, playing video games or to watch a movie and Seunghyun could tell that the younger boy was slowly becoming part of the group. And it was even proven so by Brian, speaking up one night while all of them were hanging out.

“Hey Seunghyun, you’re coming to Ashley Johnson’s party on Saturday night, right?”

He flicked his eyes to Jiyong and saw that the boy looked a little lost, like he didn’t want to hear what his answer was going to be. “Umm…”

Brian saw him look at Jiyong and said, “You know you can bring Jiyong too if he wants to go?”

Jiyong looked up at the mention of his name and Seunghyun made eye contact with him. They quickly had a silent conversation and then Seunghyun looked back to Brain, “Yeah we’ll be there.”

~

It was a little past 9 p.m., and Seunghyun drove up the long winding driveway of the Johnsons. As he got closer to the house he saw cars and trucks parked all over the place and eventually he could hear music blasting from somewhere in the distance. He snuck a glance to Jiyong who was looking out the window into the darkness of night and suddenly Seunghyun thought that this wasn’t the best idea. Yeah Jiyong was in high school now and everything, but he could still see the small innocent boy that followed him around when he was 11. Finding a empty spot off to the left of the house, Seunghyun parked and then turned to Jiyong.

“You know… there’s going to be a lot of drinking tonight… So if you want to leave at anytime, just let me know and we can go home.”

The younger boy turned his gaze to him and gave a small coy smile, “This actually looks like it’s going to be fun.”

“Have you even been to a high school party yet?”

Jiyong rolled his eyes and got out of the truck. Seunghyun followed suit and met him at the front of the vehicle.

“I’ve been to a couple, but I will say that parties in the city aren’t like this.”

Seunghyun was still skeptical because the boy looked a little nervous despite how calm he pretended to be. “Okay, but don’t drink too much. The scariest person next to my mother, is your grandmother and I don’t want her on my if I bring you home drunk.”

“Seunghyun, relax. Nothing’s going to happen, don’t worry. Just have fun.”

He was taken aback at the boy’s attitude, and even though it had been over a month since Jiyong came into town, this “New Jiyong” still kept taking him by surprise. However he took his friends advice and they walked up to the house, hearing the music and dozens of people just on the other side.

No matter how Jiyong was acting, Seunghyun couldn’t help but be protective over him. He stayed by the boys side the entire time and whenever he saw someone he knew, he always made a point to introduce Jiyong to them. He let Jiyong drink, knowing that it was a party after all, and he didn’t see the harm in it as long as he kept track of how much the boy drank.

The music played throughout the house and Seunghyun noticed Jiyong nodding his head along to the beat. It seems like he was having fun and because he was, Seunghyun was too. Eventually inside the house was getting too crowded and someone mentioned something about s’mores in the backyard by the bonfire. Seunghyun didn’t even have to look to Jiyong to know that he wanted to go outside, so he brought his arm up and placed in behind Jiyong and guided the boy out to the blazing fire.

They saw a crowd around the fire and it was good to smell the burning wood. People were standing in their own little groups, lost in conversation and it was a welcome change from the cramped space that the house had become. Granted it’s never a good idea to mix beer and teenagers and fire, but a couple kids were being hysterical as they tried juggling their beer cans with the flaming marshmallow and graham crackers.

Jiyong noticed and Seunghyun watched him laugh as the boy popped a slightly burned marshmallow into his own mouth. The sweet puff was fairly melted when it went into the boys mouth it left a small trail of white fluff on his chin. Chuckling to himself he reached up and rubbed his thumb across, removing the substance. Faster than he thought possible, Jiyong grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand down.

“What are you doing?” the boy asked and Seunghyun heard a slight panic buried somewhere in there.

“You had marshmallow on your chin.”

He watched as Jiyong looked around the bonfire, almost as if he was making sure no one else saw.

“Just tell me next time…” he mumbled and walked over to a cooler to grab another beer, leaving Seunghyun stunned in his place. But as fate would have it, he wasn’t in shock for long because Brian came running up to him and threw his arm around his neck, putting him into a friendly choke hold.

“There you are, man. I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Seunghyun laughed, “Well someone mentioned s’mores so obviously I came out here to investigate.” He reached over to the bag of marshmallows that was by Jiyong and put on on the spare stick that was by them as well. As he put the puff over the fire he could feel Jiyong watching his every move and it sent a shiver down his spine. I wonder what his problem is all of a sudden?

“Hey I heard that Charlotte and Katherine were getting a group of people to play spin the bottle on the other side of the house, you wanna join?”

Without turning his head, Seunghyun peaked at Jiyong to see if he seemed interested.

“Oh come on Seunghyun… do you really even have to think about it when it’s Katherine,” Brian said making sure to emphasize the girls name.

He saw Jiyong look down at that point, taking interest in kicking the dirt at his feet. His face seemed to fall.

Ah whatever. I’m not gonna let Jiyong’s weird mood swings get in my way of having fun.

“Alright, sounds fun.” Seunghyun said without a second thought and let Brian lead the way. But before they walked more than 5 feet, Brian turned around and called out to the younger boy still standing by the fire. “Hey Jiyong! You coming or what?”

Jiyong’s head shot up and he looked from Brian to Seunghyun and then back at the ground. “Umm I-I-”

“Come on don’t be too scared. They’re just some freakin’ hot senior and junior cheerleaders that are willing to make out with anyone,” he said as he raised his eyebrows trying to persuade him making it sound as it was easiest decision in the world.

“Look if he doesn’t want to come, you can’t make him,” Seunghyun spoke up. He stared at Jiyong with a bored expression that had a hint of a challenge in it… and Jiyong seemed to accept it.

“I’ll come,” replied the boy, giving Seunghyun a look of defiance.

“Sweet! Now we just gotta find Peter and Liam.” Brian suggested and led the way to where the game was going to be played.

When they found the other boys already over there, Seunghyun saw that this “little game” of spin the bottle was already full of 20 people as well as the same amount of on lookers.

“Ooooh here comes Seunghyun, one of the girls yelled as she scooted over and patted the ground beside her, wanting him to sit there. Seunghyun accepted and grabbed an extra beer from the cooler and made his way over to her.

Popping open the tab of the can, Seunghyun took a swing and let the cool liquid slide down his throat. When he looked around to find where Jiyong had sat, he noticed the boy sitting off to the side, taking a drink of his own beer.

“Ji, you’re not playing?” he asked.

The boy looked to him and he could see the corners his mouth turned down, almost in a frown. “No… I’ll just watch.”

Seunghyun watched as the boy averted his gaze and took another sip of his drink. He shrugged it off as Jiyong being drunk and turned back to the game as one of the girls started reminding everyone how to play. As if high schoolers don’t know how to play spin the bottle.

The game was going pretty well, everyone was having fun, a couple of the guys went crazy when two of the girls made out with each other. Even Seunghyun himself got lucky a couple times. He was having fun and he kept on drinking, getting drunk on beer as well as the energy around him.

On his third turn to spin, he caught Jiyong eyes and saw that the boy was staring at him. If before the boy looked sad, then now he looked utterly disappointed. Seunghyun had the sudden urge to stand up and find out what was wrong but Brian yelled at him to spin. Breaking his gaze away, he flicked his wrist sending the bottle twirling in circles. It landed on a girl that was 2 people away from him and as the game goes he got up and kissed her. But as soon as their lips touched, the girl brought her hand up to his face and pulled him in closer.

A couple of the guys sent out cat calls while another girl yelled for them to get a room. Seunghyun’s ears burned in embarrassment and he casually broke the kiss.

For some reason his mind wandered to Jiyong as soon as they broke apart and he looked to where Jiyong was sitting. His heart dropped, the boy had disappeared. As the next round went on, he got up with the excuse of getting another beer but instead went to look for his missing friend. After what seemed like forever, Seunghyun had found him standing by his truck, with his head down and hands stuffed into his jean pockets; again kicking the dirt at his feet.

“Jiyong are you alright?” Seunghyun spoke softly, as not to startle the boy who seemed lost in his own world.

Jiyong looked up and gave an unconvincing smile as he said, “Yeah… but I wanna go home, if that’s okay?”

Seunghyun heard a slight slur in his words and realized the boy was indeed drunk.

“Yeah it’s okay. Get in,” he said as he fished the keys out of his pocket and went to the driver’s side.

When they got back to Seunghyun’s house Jiyong stumbled out of the truck, not saying a word, and started walking back towards his grandparents house.

“Oh no! You’re not going back home mister,” Seunghyun said as he ran behind the boy, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the barn. “You’re gonna stay in the loft tonight.”

“But Seunghyun,” the boy whined in protest, “I’m really tired.”

“And you’re really drunk. So upstairs you go,” he finished and pushed Jiyong through the door to climb up to the loft. Once he got there Jiyong sat on the chair farthest away from Seunghyun as possible. The older boy the lights and noticed the boys face was bright red from probably drinking so much. Seeing this he knew that the boy needed go to sleep soon, so he walked over to the couch and started fiddling around the back of it.

“What are you doing?” asked Jiyong after a minute or so.

“Well we need a place to sleep tonight. The couch is actually a futon, so I’m trying to make it go down.”

“Why don’t you sleep in your own bed?”

“Because it’s well past midnight and I don’t want my parents catching me sneaking in drunk. Plus I need to keep an eye on you.”

“Seunghyun, I’m not some kid that you need to babysit anymore.” Jiyong fired back.

Seunghyun just took it as him being tired… and drunk and waved it off as he finally found the latch that let the futon lay flat. He walked over the shelf and grabbed a blanket, throwing it to Jiyong as he went to the other side and slipped off his shoes. He sat on the edge of the bed and turned to find Jiyong frozen in his spot.

“Well come on. You said you were tired.” Seunghyun said as he swung his feet up onto the bed, stretching out.

“I-I’ll j-just sleep in the chair.” Jiyong stuttered.

“Jiyong, get your in the bed or so help me god I will pick you up and throw you on it.”

Reluctantly, Jiyong took off his shoes as well and walked over to the makeshift bed. He laid down, but made sure that he was on the edge, furthest away from Seunghyun as he could possibly be.

“Come on, you’re not gonna share the blanket?” Seunghyun asked as he rolled onto his side and came face to face with the younger boy’s back. At hearing his complaint, Jiyong tossed the blanket in the older boys direction and kept his back turned to him.

“Dude, what did I do to piss you off?” Seunghyun asked as he peeled the blanket from his face.

“Nothing…” Jiyong mumbled back and moved a little to settle into the bed.

“Whatever… let’s just got to sleep.”

An hour later Seunghyun found that he could not fall asleep for the life of him. He kept on tossing and turning for some unknown reason and nothing seemed to calm his racing mind.

“Hey Seunghyun?” he heard Jiyong’s voice whisper into the empty room. It startled him a bit because he thought the boy had fallen asleep a long time ago. “Can I ask you something?”

Seunghyun shifted and turned to face the direction the voice was coming from, and this time, Jiyong was facing him. He saw the faint glow of the light from across the room reflected on the boys face and he could still see the flush the alcohol had created on his cheeks.

“Sure…” Seunghyun replied.

He watched as the boy thought carefully of what to say; he even bit his bottom lip in concentration. Seunghyun thought he looked cute.

“What was it like kissing those girls?”

Well that was one of the last questions I expected…

“Umm…” Seunghyun scrunched his eyebrows together. He was completely taken off guard. “Why are you asking…”

He watched as Jiyong bit his lip again and then he said,” Well because… I’ve nev- you know what never mind,” and he went to flip back onto his other side. But Seunghyun had caught him before he could.

“Wait…” he looked at the boys face. Jiyong was looking everywhere but his eyes. “You’ve never…. Have you ever kissed someone?”

He heard Jiyong’s breath catch in his mouth as his face turned brighter. Well there’s my answer…

“Really? You’ve haven’t kissed anyone yet?”

“God Seunghyun… don’t make fun of me…” the boy groaned as he brought his hands up to cover his face.

Seeing this gesture of embarrassment, Seunghyun chuckled. “Ji, I’m not making fun of you,” he said as he pulled the boys hands away from his face. He could tell that the boy was mortified that he had discovered his little secret.

However the longer he looked at the boy the more his head started to spin. Maybe he was still slightly drunk, but he kept seeing Jiyong’s red tinted face and he couldn’t help to think how cute he looked… Almost like a girl…

And before he could stop himself he leaned over and touched the boys lips with his own. At first his brain started yelling at him, but once he felt the softness of Jiyong’s lips against his, he pressed closer. The boy tasted like beer, but there was the faint sweetness left over from the marshmallows and it made him crave s’mores again.

He felt Jiyong tense against him and just when he was about to pull away, the younger boy threaded his fingers through the fabric at the front of his shirt and grabbed a hold, pressing back into the kiss.

It was only a matter of seconds and then it was over. Seunghyun was in a daze at what had just happened, so he tried to play it off, by saying, “Well there ya go. Your first kiss,” and he gave an awkward laugh while trying to catch his breath that Jiyong seemed to steal from him.

Jiyong’s eyes bugged out, “Uh… umm…” he stammered and then closed his eyes while taking a deep breath. “Night Seunghyun,” he quickly threw out and then turned his back to the older boy.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the night, leaving Seunghyun to think about what this new found pressure was in his heart as he repeated over and over again in his head, Holy … I just kissed him.

~

The next morning Seunghyun woke up with a slight hangover. He turned to see if Jiyong was awake, wanting to know if he too was hung-over, but what he saw was an empty futon by his side. His arm stretched out and felt the coolness of the fabric. Cold… He must have gotten up a while ago…

He rolled back over on to his back and stared up at the wood beams in the roof of the barn, thinking about everything that had happened last night. His stomach twisted into knots and he didn’t know how to describe it. I wasn’t a bad feeling, or a sick feeling… or a good feeling. It was just something that bothered him, and when his brain wandered to the thought of kissing Jiyong, his stomach twisted more. How the hell am I gonna face him after that?

Lying on the bed for another hour thinking about all the possible things he could say to the boy, he came up with nothing, which gave him a bigger headache. He sat up and ran his hands in his hair and he cursed himself. A small beep off to his left caught his attention, so he climbed out of bed and walked over to find his phone.

Brian: So how hung over are you?

Seunghyun looked at the top of his phone and saw that it was a little passed 10 in the morning. Clicking reply he typed: Not too bad… but let’s just say that I don’t think any of us will be playing football today.

A minute later Brian replied with: Yeah sounds like a plan.

He shut the phone closed and ran his hand over his face, trying to rub the rest of the sleep away. Well it’s now or never. He told himself, knowing that he was in desperate need of a shower and then he would go and try to find Jiyong. They needed to have a talk.

After one of the longest showers in history, Seunghyun got dressed and headed over to see Jiyong. He walked up to the front door and knocked. A minute later Mrs. Lee opened it and greeted him. “Well good morning Seunghyun.”

“Morning Mrs. Lee, I came over to see Jiyong.”

The older woman’s face fell a little as she said, “ Oh dear, he and his grandfather went to Nashville early this morning. Mr. Lee wanted to go looking for some special fishing supplies.”

Seunghyun stood in shock as small “Oh” fell from his lips.

“But as soon as they get back I’ll be sure to tell Jiyong you came over.”

“Okay… that would be nice…. thanks.”

Mrs. Lee waved goodbye and shut the door as Seunghyun turned around and headed back towards his house.

He waited all day and as 10 p.m. rolled around he knew that Jiyong was not coming over. And as a couple days passed, he had yet to see the boy again. That was when he knew something was going on. Even though the boy had changed, he would always find Seunghyun whenever he could, but it was going on 4 days and he had yet to see or hear from the boy once.

On the 5th day, Seunghyun was coming home from work. Pulling into his driveway, he saw a slight figure walking from the Mr. Lee’s workshop to their porch. Knowing exactly who it was, he jumped out of his truck and ran over to the boy.

“Jiyong!” he called out, startling him. Jiyong’s eyes widened and he dropped his eyes to the ground picking up his pace while he walked to the house.

“Jiyong, just wait a minute will you,” Seunghyun ran up to him and grabbed his wrist. “We should talk.”

“Seunghyun we don’t need to talk about anything… we were drunk, that’s it. Just forget about it.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not-”

“Bull ! I haven’t seen you in almost a week since then.”

“I-I… I’ve been helping out my grandfather. We’ve been busy and stuff…” the boy mumbled.

Seunghyun let out a sigh. This was frustrating. If it had been last year, he would’ve known exactly how to deal with Jiyong. But now as he looked at the boy in front of him, his mind went blank with what to do. “Well then do you want to go up to the loft and play some video games?”

Jiyong looked up at him and just nodded his head, “Sure.” It felt like a small weight had been lifted off Seunghyun’s chest as he heard the boy agree and he couldn’t help but break out into a smile. He saw the boy look up, giving a small quirk of his own lips and a sudden flash of marshmallows popped into his head. Clearing his throat before his thoughts could move on to how the boy’s lips felt, he and Jiyong walked to barn and soon things feel back into place between them.

~

That is until the next football game between him and the other boys.

Jiyong and him found themselves on separate teams once again and things were going smoothly until Jiyong caught a pass close to him, and Seunghyun had no choice but to tackle the boy.

Both of them fell to ground, Jiyong landing on his side and Seunghyun on top of. When he opened his eyes to look at him he saw Jiyong’s eyebrows scrunched together and jaw slack from pain.

“Seunghyun… get off you’re heavy.” The boy huffed, laughter seeping through his words.

But Seunghyun was frozen, his eyes locked on the boy’s lips, as he thought at how close they were. Just like the night of the party. And suddenly he wanted to feel the softness of Jiyong’s lips against his own again. The thought terrified him but also sent his heart racing, and his head was going crazy. Why the hell do I keep thinking about kissing him. He’s a guy… and one of my closest friends…

“Dude,” Jiyong spoke up, breaking Seunghyun from his thought. He pushed on his chest as he continued, “Seriously what’s your problem? Get of me already.” And the younger boy scrambled out from under him. Putting as much distance between them as possible. Seunghyun lifted himself up and kneeled on the ground, shaking his head clear of the thoughts.

“Seunghyun, you alright?” Brian called to him.

He took a deep breath and stood up, nodding his head as he got back in the game. And for the rest of the time his body might have been in the game but his heart wasn’t.

~

A couple days passed since the game and his thoughts still always seemed to revolve around Jiyong, now even more so since the boy would be leaving in less than two weeks. Jiyong on the other had taken his word about what had happened to heart and acted like it meant nothing to him.

Seunghyun found himself waking up in the middle of the night a couple times from strange dreams where he would be kissing the younger boy and what freaked him out the most was how after he woke up, he would still feel the press of Jiyong’s lips on his.

I have got to stop this, he thought as he rolled over and tried going back to sleep.

The next morning when he woke up he went down stairs and found his mother running about the kitchen cooking up all sorts of food.

“Oh Seunghyun, I’m so glad you’re up. Can you go down to the basement and grab a couple cans of green beans?”

“Sure, but what is all this?”

His mother looked at him with a spatula in hand and said, “Surely you didn’t forget of the White’s end of the summer barbecue?”

Oh… right… that…

The White’s end of the summer barbecue was something that the whole town gathered at. It was always held at the city fair grounds and there was always plenty of food to feed a small country for an entire month.

Seunghyun did what his mother asked and went to grab the beans and spent the rest of the day helping in any way that he could.

After a few hours his mom said that they were basically done and he went to go relax up in the loft. Walking up he heard explosions from the TV and eventually saw that Jiyong was already playing a video game. They relaxed together, not really saying much, just enjoying each other’s company and for the first time Seunghyun’s mind didn’t think about the kiss or his confusing dreams. He just enjoyed his time with his friend, knowing that he would be leaving soon.

Eventually his mother called him from the house, saying that they were about to leave for the barbecue soon and Jiyong spoke up, “You’re being dragged to that too?”

Seunghyun chuckled, “Yeah… every year.”

Jiyong smiled, “Well now I know that I’ll know at least one person at this shindig.”

Seunghyun laughed, “Yeah but you’ll be stuffing your face too much to even care.” Jiyong smiled and Seunghyun’s mind betrayed him once again. “Well I gotta go help her. See you there!” he said quickly and then left.

Seunghyun tired to enjoy himself, he really did. But when your best friend is sitting across the room from you, the same best friend who you’ve been having dreams about kissing, it made the food seem less interesting.

He was really having a hard time dealing with all these conflicting feelings. Well honestly he was trying to avoid them altogether, which obviously hadn’t been working. He watched as Jiyong smiled, talking to some of his grandparents friends. His heart stuttered, seeing the boys lips curl up.

This is getting ridiculous, he thought as he looked down taking a big gulp of his sweet tea. But when he looked back up towards Jiyong’s direction, he found the boy was already looking at him. His face flushed and he quickly looked back down, finding his mashed potatoes a good distraction as any. But after a few seconds he chanced another glance at the boy, and still Jiyong was looking at him. This time with a confused look on his face.

Seunghyun quickly excused himself from the table, wanting to go outside and breathe in some fresh air to clear his thoughts. He decided to take a walk around the grounds, anything better than sitting in that loud crowded room.

Turning the corner he almost ran into someone. Regaining his balance, he looked to find a girl standing right in front of him.

“Hey Seunghyun… are you just as bored as I am?”

Her face was a little hard to see because of the lack of lights outside, but finally he placed her. Her name was Rebecca, and she was the girl who he made out with at the party last month.

“Yeah… just a little, so I’m walking around now.”

“Mind of I join you?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Why not,” and they started walking together, with no destination in particular.

After a few minutes of silence, Rebecca cleared and said softly, “You know… I keep thinking about that party.”

Yeah you and me both…

He saw from the corner of his eye that she was playing with her hands. She spoke up again, “You’re a really good kisser, you know…”

Seunghyun stopped in his tracks. This was the last thing he ever thought they would talk about and he could see that his reaction caused her to panic a little.

“Sorry! Sorry if that freaked you out,” she quickly said. “I just can’t stop thinking about it… and about you,” she admitted.

He didn’t want her to feel bad so he spoke up too, “Yeah, you were good too…”

“Really?”

He nodded his head, “Um hum.”

She took a deep breath and then looked at him, he noticed that her bangs fell into her eyes. “Then would it be okay… if I kissed you again?”

As soon as the question registered with him, he thought, This is it… maybe all I have to do is kiss a girl and then I can stop thinking about Jiyong.

He looked down at her and saw she was biting her lower lip. Just like Jiyong. NO! Stop thinking about him, and just kiss her damn it! And before he could stop himself he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

However despite all his attempts of blocking out thoughts of Jiyong the first thing that popped into his head was that Rebecca’s lips were not as soft as the boys. Then he noticed that she tasked like barbecue sauce. She pressed into him, a little too forcefully, and made their teeth click together. Nothing… that’s what he felt. And the only thing he could think about was how this kiss was going nowhere and he wished it would be over soon.

Someone must have been listening to his prayer upstairs, because he heard a loud gasp as a boys voice spoke up from behind him and Rebecca.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Seunghyun detached himself from Rebecca and spun around to see Jiyong. His heart dropped at seeing the boys shocked face so he tried to rush out and explanation. “We- We were um…”

Jiyong’s face fell and he held up his hand to quiet him. “I was actually looking for you. Your mom wants to start heading home. I’ll see you later.” And the boy his heel and started walking away.

Seunghyun turned to Rebecca and threw out a half assed apology before he too turned, chasing after Jiyong’s retreating figure. For some reason he had the sudden urge to ask for Jiyong’s forgiveness.

~

He never caught up that night to Jiyong. And despite the look of complete disappointment on the boys face, the next time they saw each other, Jiyong acted like he hadn’t seen anything. Which drove Seunghyun crazy. Why does he always avoid these things?

The more he thought about it the more he realized something. The kiss with Jiyong was better than the kiss with Rebecca. He wracked his brain, trying to anything to avoid this conclusion but when he compared both instances, Jiyong was all that came to mind.

~

On Jiyong’s last night of being in town Seunghyun wanted to make it a special guys night. So he ordered pizza and snuck a pack of beer up to the loft saying that tonight was going to be a night full of beer, pizza, and videos games. The perfect send off.

Jiyong was excited and they pushed all the crap that had happened over the summer to the back of their minds and it felt like old times. They played game after game and even watched a couple of movies. They had finished the pizza and were working on the last cans of beer when Seunghyun’s drunken mind starting thinking of it’s own accord.

He thought about how he didn’t want Jiyong to leave. How he could lock him up here. How he could always have his best friend with him.

Jiyong popped in another video game and started playing it while Seunghyun stared at him. He watched as the boy brought his lip in between his teeth in concentration only to release it and dart his tongue out to wet his lips.

A lump formed in his throat and his breathing became heavier. His head was fuzzy from the beer and it kept thinking about all the dreams. He could tell Jiyong was saying something but he was too lost in his own thoughts to make out what he was saying. He just watched the boy’s lips move. He swore at one point the boy had said something about a kiss and that snapped him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“Thank you! Finally a reaction. I was trying to get your attention for the past 2 minutes.”

“But what did you just say?”

He saw a small flush go up Jiyong’s face as the boy looked back to the TV.

“I said… that if you didn’t answer me I would kiss you. I tried calling your name and cursing at you, but nothing seemed to get through exce-”

And that was when Seunghyun leaned across the couch and pressed his lips against Jiyong’s. At first he thought he had just made the biggest mistake of his life, but as soon as their lips touched little tingles started going up his spine.

Jiyong tried to push him away, but he scooted closer and cupped the boys head in his hands silencing his protests with another kiss. This time he didn’t care what happened, because this felt right and after his tongue darted out and the younger boys bottom lip, Jiyong leaned into the kiss.

The boys hands found their way to Seunghyun’s thighs and he rested them there as he moved closer. Their lips glided across each others, and if he hadn’t already drunk 3 beers, he surely could have gotten drunk on this feeling Jiyong was creating inside of him. It was strange. It was different. But it was addicting.

Once they broke apart to catch their breath, Seunghyun admitted, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a month…”

Jiyong looked at him, cheeks flushed, lips swollen. “Re-really?”

“Yeah…” Seunghyun took a deep breath. He was finally about to say what he had been thinking about since their first kiss. “Ever since that night of the party… I’ve been having this strange feeling. And when you said that it didn’t mean anything to you, I felt a little disappointed. Then I started having dreams about you and it’s been confusing the hell out of me.”

He looked to Jiyong to see if he could read the boy’s face, hoping to find any emotion to giveaway as to what his was thinking too. When he didn’t find anything Seunghyun continued, “And all this time I keep thinking about you. Like every damn day. But why? You’re my best friend… and you’re a guy… but that didn’t stop me. And then the other night at the barbecue, Rebecca kissed me and I thought that it was the best thing for me do, to finally stop thinking about you.”

“And did you?” Jiyong interrupted.

“No! When I was kissing her all I could think about was how I wanted to kiss you again. And it really freaked me out.”

“Then what was that just now?”

Seunghyun rubbed his face and sighed, “I don’t know… probably me realizing that I really do feel something for you…”

He looked back to the boy hoping to see excitement or happiness, but what he found was the complete opposite.

“But Seunghyun… I leave tomorrow.”

And with just 3 simple words, it seemed like his world would caved in. He leaves tomorrow…

“But please… just tell me that I’m not the only one feeling this.” Seunghyun begged. “You definitely kissed me back just now.”

Jiyong nodded his head, but looked to his hands that he had moved off of Seunghyun and into his own lap. “I did… and I feel something too. Actually I’ve felt something since the beginning of summer, but now that it’s time for me to go home… I don’t think it's a good idea to act on it.”

“But Jiyong-”

“No Seunghyun… I can’t… I think I should go back to the house and sleep there for tonight.”

And with that Jiyong got up, leaving Seunghyun in stunned silence.

That was the last time he saw the boy until the next summer.