07 | The Bonding
{ “Le Angel • Portfolio” }
07 The Bonding
07 • The Bonding
Story by: mycockiness
[Clear Days, Cloudy Days Reviews]
Story by: mycockiness
[Clear Days, Cloudy Days Reviews]
Title:
The title intrigues me on what the story can be about. It gives off an angsty and mysterious aura which dragged me into reading it at first sight. I like it when authors make the readers think on what kind of storyline it could be so good job! I can also see how the title goes along with the plot! However, I have to mention that the title seems to relate with the first chapter only. The later chapters seemed a bit off to me as they mainly focus on the couples, and I don’t see how it matches with the title. On the other hand, your story has started so I assumed that perhaps an accident might happen to the couples which could be related with the bonding.
Foreword/Description:
I’m a bit torn about the description. I felt that it was straightforward but it seems that you picked up the main key events of what might happen in the story. For me, it almost spoils on what will happen in the story, and to me, I really don’t like it when I know what happens in a story. However, I also felt that by doing that you gave us an opportunity to imagine and think on what might’ve happened after the bonding and why some of the EXO gang felt wounded and betrayed. Questions sparked after reading the description, which is an advantage; it makes me more interested in reading your story.
For the foreword, it captivated me into reading your story. Thoughts like ‘What are they doing?’, ‘Why are all of them gathered?’, ‘What’s done?’ (I’m referring to the last dialogue and line of the foreword) filled my head. It’s mysterious and gives off a dark atmosphere, which motivates me into finding out what actually happened and why they did it. So overall, good foreword and an alright description.
Originality:
I think the plot’s quite good. It’s quite fresh and new, and it stands out amongst the other fan-fictions. I just hope the later chapters don’t really revolve on the other members confessing to one another which could lead up to who-knows-what. Your story just started so I’d like to see how it would develop in the later chapters.
Characterization:
I like how developed most of the characters are! Each member has their own distinct personalities like for example Tao’s adorable and innocent-like character to happy-go-lucky and sweet Kyungsoo. Moreover they’re not some love-sick puppies whom are hoping to be noticed, and try to back away when they see their crush- they’re real high school men; their personalities are something I can see in real life which makes them believable. Also, I’m not a big fan of swearing, but to be honest that aspect also made the characters more real. However, I’m wondering on how you’re going to make the other characters have their own share of spotlight if they’re not going to be coupled with another member.
So yes, so far I like the characters.
Grammar/Vocabulary:
I don’t have that a problem with your vocabulary and grammar! Just make sure you proof-read to ensure your story makes sense is one advice I’d say as there were some parts that didn’t make sense but I caught on, on what you were trying to say.
Example: “…I love you as more than a friend.”
Correction: “…I love you more than as a friend.” This is one example but I believe you’re capable of fixing the others when re-checking your work and updating the later chapters.
Enjoyment:
I quite liked the story. I’m a er for romance so I was quite comfortable with it! I can almost imagine something similar to your story happening in real life. From the description, I’d like to see how the drama’s going to build up and what kind of twists and turns there will be. Writing Style: I have no problem with your writing style! It’s consistent and the balance between the dialogues and the descriptions are alright, so at no point in the story did I get confused. There are no loop holes so far, and I hope it would stay like that. It’s a good thing you planned everything out, as mentioned in chapter one, so I’m hoping that by the end of the story, everything will be clear (and hopefully no drama or mysteries).
Bonus/Reviewer’s comments:
I’m not so familiar with EXO; however I have been interested in them lately. I got confused in the beginning as EXO is obviously a big group and I could only remember Sehun and a few others. I have to mention, I do know (I think) most of the members names so I was confused when you used their actual Korean names, however I still liked your story despite being a bit confused on who’s who. I think this is my first EXO fan-fiction that I’ve read, and I’m glad that it is; I had a great time reading your story.
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