Jongin POV

“Why do we do this again?”

Jongin smiles at the disgruntled tone of Sehun’s voice. “We wanted to be famous.”

He smiles wider when a small smile appears on Sehun’s face.

“Should have just become an idol singer.” Sehun mutters, brows scrunched up as he types furiously, the table almost shaking.

“Easy there. You’re abusing your baby.” Jongin teases Sehun. He knows just how much Sehun loves his laptop.

“My baby understands. Me and my baby have been through a lot.” Sehun’s eyes don’t ever stray from the document he’s typing.

“Tsk. You love your laptop more than me.” Jongin gripes playfully. He hopes he didn’t sound too bitter though.

“Of course Jongin. I love Zizi the most.”

The silence ticks between them.

Jongin clears his throat, “You want some coffee?”

--

They met two years earlier when Jongin overturned his life and decided to turn his hobby into a career. he always loved photography but didn’t think of it as something he should pursue as a career so he chose to become part of a politician’s staff, thinking he could make it big one day and maybe even enter the political day (if his boss became the president or something). But all he ever did was take pictures, write crap, and organize events. When it became clear to him how he was slowly becoming an events’ organizer without his permission he dropped his job and spent a month taking pictures and posting them online. One of his old friends saw his work and introduced him to a friend in publishing and the rest is history aka the hardest days of Jongin’s life.

Pay was ty, his nerves were strained with stress, and he felt so insecure with his lack of experience. Everyone was running around and although he was used to that he never thought one day he’d be s slow. He was actually thinking of quitting again. He just couldn’t face the thought of failing at something he was supposed to be good at, his supposed forte, his dream.

He was smoking in the rooftop when the door opened and frowning face Sehun came in, scowling when he saw him there. that was how it started, common cigarette breaks that slowly turned into chats and into friendship.

--

“hey you’re not drinking your coffee.” Jongin nudges the cup closer to sehun.

“Oh yeah. Just…”

“You know what? I’m seriously gonna be offended. I took the trouble to make you coffee and you don’t even drink it.”

“Geez. You’re so dramatic.” Sehun chides and takes the cup, taking a long sip. “When it’s just 3-in-1 coffee.”

Jongin resists the urge to go hide or something. Instead he banters, “Cause my love for you is just like that coffee, instant.”

Sehun pretends to choke on his coffee. “Eew Jongin, eew. Where did you learn those ing lines? Have you been watching that crap show again? That show was for teens Jongin, for saccharine teens who know next to nothing about love.”

“It’s fun! Even Chanyeol watches it!”

“That’s because Baekhyun watches it. plus they’re a couple so they’re into all those sweet fluffy…things.” Sehun even shudders for emphasis.

“Okay. Okay.” Jongin concedes.

“Seriously Jongin stop watching that show.”

“Okay.”

“You’re just gonna get hurt.” Sehun’s teasing voice doesn’t keep his words from stinging. It only makes it worse.

“Yeah.”

--

One time, Jongin was so sure they were going to be something. They hanged out together, they went places together, they even shop together. It was so clear they were going to be something.

It was perfect he thought. And he likes Sehun a lot. He likes his face, his sarcasm, his tough attitude at work, his small nudges, his snorts, everything. He could tell Sehun pretty much likes him too. Sehun is warm towards him while he merely tolerates everyone else. Also, there was that one time at a party that they almost hooked up. almost, because Sehun conked out in the middle of their making out and proceeded to forget everything that happened the next day. From then on, Jongin had been waiting for some chance and there was a lot, just that none of it made things come together.

He was heading out the office when he saw Sehun at the parking lot. He waved and walked closer.

“Hey. I haven’t seen you all day.”

“Field.” Sehun grunted.

“You’re an editor.”

“Well. We ran out of people so…”

“That ” was all Jongin could say. Sehun didn’t seem to mind though “Yeah. You going home?”

“Yep. Dinner with my sisters.”

“well I won’t keep you then. have fun.” Sehun turned and started walking away.

“hey!” jongin called out, making Sehun stop and look at him. “Do you wanna join us?”

“what?” Sehun walked back to him.

“I said do you wanna join us.”

“Oh” Sehun paused for a very long time. “It’s okay Jongin I don’t want to intrude.”

“It’s okay Sehun. They want to meet you.”

Sehun started biting his lip nervously.

“Come on. Don’t be a stranger. My sisters are fun and they’re paying.”

The dinner went smoothly. His sisters loved Sehun and Sehun was nice to them, entertaining them with stories usually about Jongin’s gaffes. Jongin should have felt embarrassed but instead he felt oddly content and happy, watching Sehun have fun with his family.

“Thanks.. for the dinner. You’re sisters are really nice. I like them.” Sehun smiled as he walked him to his apartment.

“They like you too.”

“Jongin you don’t have to walk me home. The car park’s a bit far.”

“It’s okay. I want to.”

“hmnnn…” no one spoke for a long time.

They came to a stop in front of Sehun’s door.

Jongin hadn’t meant to do anything. It was just that the lighting was perfect, making Sehun glow and he was a bit high on the happiness he felt that he leaned closer. Before their lips could though sehun turned and muttered “Bye Jongin”, closing the door on his face.

--

Jongin watches as Sehun stretches out the cricks in his neck. Sehun is so pale, so thin, he thinks he might actually break.

“Jongin?”

“yeah?”

“You okay there.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re silent.”

“Just thinking.”

Sehun turns to him with a teasing smile. “Thinking… that’s new.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything and Sehun doesn’t either. Jongin should’ve been used to the silence already but instead he feels suffocated by it.

“don’t you feel anything for me at all?”

Sehun doesn’t turn to see Jongin’s face but he stills.

“you know how much I like you, heck, love you even. I told you that.”

Sehun still doesn’t say anything.

“you can’t have forgotten that, have you?”

“jongin…” Sehun finally turns to him and his eyes are pained.

“do you really feel nothing?” he repeats.

“jongin it’s not like that.” Sehun’s voice is pleading and it hurts.

“then what? We can’t be stuck like this forever.”

“jongin you know…”

“I’m not him Sehun. I’m not Luhan.”

“how did you know about him?” Sehun’s eyes are wide with alarm.

“I asked okay. I had to.”

“no you didn’t have to.” There’s fire in Sehun’ eyes, a distant glow in his eyes and it makes Jongin wonder who he’s really mad at.

“Sehun I wa..”

“let’s stop here jongin.”

Jongin watches as Sehun grabs his bag quickly, tossing a few things inside. He watches as Sehun opens the door. He watches as he walks away in the cold autumn air.

--

At the next company after-party, Jongin had acted drunker than he really was, clinging onto Sehun and nuzzling his neck. Sehun had been unresponsive at first but when he saw that Jongin was drunk he relaxed, letting Jongin lean on him, wrapping an arm around his waist. Jongin felt brave enough to attempt a kiss and Sehun responded, opened his mouth, tongue reaching out for Jongin’s. Sehun’s hands were warm on his body and he felt this was it. So he opened his eyes and looked at Sehun’s.

“You know I like you, like really like you right?”

Next thing he knew Sehun was moving away from him. he tried going after him but some people got in the way and he couldn’t find a trace of Sehun anywhere. he fled.

Chanyeol was the one who found him sitting dejectedly at the bar.

“Hey” he greeted, taking the seat beside him. Jongin merely grunted in response.

“He fled huh?”

Jongin turned to face Chanyeol so quickly he felt dizzy.

“Not the first time it happened.”

Jongin gaped incredulously. “You… you?”

“Yeah.”

When Jongin remained silent Chanyeol continued his story. “We became close way back. I think it was a few months before you came in. we were working on this big feature together so we started spending more time together naturally. And Sehun’s really… beautiful, attractive so of course I was attracted to him. we started going out a bit, a little making out. But when I asked him to commit he started avoiding me.”

“But you’re friends now.”

Chanyeol shrugged. “I met Baekhyun so I’m fine.”

“Yeah. Good for you.” Jongin didn’t know what to say.

“Sehun’s not fine though.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jongin asked sharply.

“I really shouldn’t tell you this. Sehun will kill me.” Chanyeol glanced at Jongin’s glaring face. “Okay. before Sehun became editor, he was still a writer then, new, there was this senior named Luhan. Ever heard of him? Nope? That’s because no one wants to talk about him with Sehun around. They were together for a long time, college couple and all that. it was clear they were so in love with each other. You should see Sehun back then. he was sappy as . Anyway they were working in an assignment together, in Beijing. Sehun came back alone and sad. Sad, really sad, like Dementor-sad. No one really knows what happened between the two of them. but whatever it was it destroyed him.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Jongin was lost in all the things he just heard.

“Baekhyun’s calling me I gotta go.” Chanyeol stood up and started to walk away but he stopped and tapped Jongin’s shoulder.

“It’s either Sehun’s not over it or him. maybe you should stop.”

Jongin never stopped though. It was impossible.

--

Jongin wants to ignore his phone but it keeps on ringing. He reaches for it and glances at the number. Unknown number. He looks at the time. it’s 4 in the morning.

“Hello?” he hopes it’s not something serious. Who would call this early in the morning?

His eyes widen and his hands shake as he listens to the person on the other line. Without hanging up, he quickly reaches for his jacket and his car keys, running out of the door in less than a minute.

He has to make it. Before it’s over. Before it’s too late.

-End of chapter 1-

Next Chapter: Luhan POV.

Preview: Luhan was sure, so sure but maybe not anymore? He glances at the sleeping angel beside him. How many years has it been? Four? The phone starts ringing in the background.

AN: Hey there! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. More pairings will be added as the story unfolds. Please bear with me! :D