CL’s POV

The girls and I walking together with holding hands to our spot. Minzy walks between Bom and me. We imagine how Dara’s and fans shock face when we surprise them while the boys tease Jiyong about ‘how to make a little dragon inside a rabbit’s womb’. 

“I’m happy for unnie. Oppa will make this night special and unforgetable. I just a little envy because i want someone make a special moment for me. but i have no one.” Minzy pout sadly.

“Really? Why you don’t ask your crush to make a special moment for you? If you too shy to talk to him, i’ll talk. You know i’m an expert at it.” Bom said while give her a playful wink.

Minzy stiffened. “Eh? Cru-Crush? What are you talking about, unnie? Ahahaha.. You know i have no one.” She try to acted innocent but we know she lied.

“You have no one? Seriuosly, Minkky? What about Daesung oppa? Is he not make you special?” i teasingly said to her.

“Unnies.” Minzy’s face getting redder. She stole a glance to the boys and hope that they didn’t hear our conversation. Bom and I giggle when we see her cute face.

Bom  stare sweetly  and pat her head. “I give you approval if you date with him. if he gives you a false hope, you know my power right? Even i have a badass long legs, i’m sure i  can kick his even he has a body like a hulk and i can make his muscles turn into jelly . oh i can make his eight abs pack turn into three packs. You know what i mean.” Bom gives her playful winks and giggled.

Minzy stare at her disbelieve. “Unnie! Please don’t turn his muscles and his y abs. You know i love them.”

Bom giggle and pat her head. “i’m just joking, honey.”

Minzy pout slightly before i heard her sigh deeply. “i know, unnie. But you’re right. My feeling toward him already grow and i’m scared because i can’t stop them. Day by day, my feeling getting bigger and deep.  But until this time, he never speaks about his feels towards me. i’m starting to think is he serious with me? what if he doesn’t have same feelings with me? Am I going to broken heart?  What if-“

Bom cut her talk. “Minzy! Stop worried about your feel! Daesung loves you and i’m sure that because Seunghyun told me. He talked with Daesung and asked how his feels about you. He said at first he considers you like his own little sister. But after his car accident, he started to like you. You comfort him same like Dara comfort Jiyong with his own scandal. At that time, you stay with him, you never judge him about that fcking scandal, you make him strong, you make him held his chin up and face the world,and the last you make him back to bigbang and bring back the old Daesung. Day after day, his feeling grow without he recognize it.”

“You know oppa never want to hurt you. He loves you not because he considers you like a little sister but because he loves you as a woman who gives him a hope to face his life and help him to move on from his dark past.” I said softly.

Bom her hair. “If you bother about what you feel, try to confess your feeling him first. Let him know what inside your heart.  It working between Tabi and me. And don’t scared or shy confess to your man because he deserve to know how you feels.” Bom gives me a meaningful look when she talks the last words toward Minzy.

“I will confess to him first. Thank you, unnies.” Minzy squeeze our hands and gives us a warm smile. “I hope Chaerin unnie will tell Seungri oppa about her feeling.” She squeeze my hand tigher than before. I frozen when she whispered that to me.

“How long you let him suffered, Chaerin?”

Bom questioned shock me. “what do you mean, unnie?”

“How long you let your boyfriend who fcking loves you like a crazy suffered, Chaerin?”

“I... I... don’t know what you mean, unnie.”

“unnie.” Minzy spoke softly while she rub her arm coo her.

“with your acted toward him, you let him suffered. You never tell him that you love him. And he suffered with that. When he declared his love to you, you never said that words to him. You know that words. You know the meaning of that and how  he treasured you more than anyone.“ Bom gives me a sternly look.

I bow my head and bite my lips. Bom’s words like a knife to me. it hurts me deeply. I know she didn’t mean to hurt me, but she was right. I know he declared his love towards eveytime he with me and i feel giddy when i heard that. Though i felt giddy, i found my self always frozen when i heard his love toward me. I felt something hard press my tounge to stop me from replying his loving word. So everytime he said he loved me, my mouth keep silent and i do nothing for.

“It’s been a year you have a relationship with him. And until now, you never tell your feeling to him. I know you responses his love with your acts. But it’s not enough to him. What if he start to think that your relationship just bothering you and for your own good, he started to leave you? And you let yourself regret because you never tell him.” Minzy said softly to me before rub my knuckles with her tumb.

“Do you love him?” I shocked at her questions.

“Unnie I—“                

“I ask you again. Do you love him?”

“I... I—”

“Or you still love ‘him’. We both know ‘him’ we talk about, Lee Chaerin. and it’s not your man we talked about. It ‘was’ your man from your past.” Bom cut my words again.

My mind is completely  blank. I don’t know what i feel right now. Love? Did i still love ‘him’? Him, the man who keeps my hope high when there’s nothing to hope for. Him, the man who made me cried over and over again. Him, the man who i can not say his name because i scare. Him, the man who i was falling in love. But you have Seungri, you idiot! How can you still love someone from past when someone from present already declared his love for you? Another thought scream inside my mind.

“You can not tell him what you feel when you have something for someone else. When ‘he’ broke your heart and made you cry, he stayed beside you even you shoo him away, even you screamed at him, even you give him punches and kicks, even he knew you loved someone else.  And it’s not fair for him when he declared his love to you over and over again but you still have feelings toward your past. I know you apreciated  his feeling with your acted around him. You already said ‘action speaks louder than confession’. But action without confessions, it’s nothing. You just make his hope high when there is nothing for him to hope for. You just give him a bull!”

Tears forming on my eyes when i heard Bom’s words. She’s right. I can not tell him when i feel something for ‘him’. But i can not move on from ‘him’.

“Unnie.” Minzy rub her arms to calm her. Minzy gazed and smile softly to me. “You know Bom unnie didn’t mean to hurt you, unnie. She just want to said that you must let your past and let oppa know what you feels. We all know his love to you never stop and he said that he will wait for you until you ready. He asked you to give a chance to prove his self that he deserves to you and you let him in. I know letting your past is hard. It’s like you walking on the broken glasses with your wounded feet. But letting someone nice who loves you when you still close your heart it’s more hurt than walking on the broken glasses. It feels like someone stab your heart with a knife and twisted it. Try to feel what oppa feels to you. You’ve been hurt, but he hurt more than you. You’ve felt when you had one-side love, right? and you said you never want to feeling like that again. Seungri oppa feels same like you. I know you love him, but you let your past taking over you. You make him wait for you and he said that he will wait until you ready to him.  But how long you keep him waiting?”

“Tell him before you regret it, Chaerin. Because of ‘him’, you started to forget your self and change into CL the baddest female. But because of him, the baddest CL turn into Lee Chaerin. An amazing girl who cares and loves her friends more than she care her self. Many girls has confess to him but he gives them i-don’t-fcking-care and he stayed beside you and wait you patiently. But Chaerin, Seungri’s patient has limit too. you can not let him wait for you forever.” Bom said softly to me.

I bow my head and tears coming down from my eyes. I clenched my hand and bit my trembled lips to stiffle my sobs. Seungri walked behind me and I don’t want him to see me at this state. I know he will panick and start to bombarding me with his silly questions. I know most the questions he ask to me is his way to comfort me. But i don’t want him to see me crying because of my feelings to him and to someone from past and he started blamming his self for seeing me cry. I wiped my tears with back of my hand. I’m thankful towards the stylish for gave me waterproof mascara so my tears not ruin my make up.

“YAH! LEE SEUNGHYUN!!!” Jiyong’s scream stopped me from my thought and it  echoed the long corridor we passed.

And the next thing i saw, Seungri ran for his life with Jiyong tailed behind him. Loud laugh coming from the oppas while they saw Seungri escape from his leader’s wrath.

“What happen, oppa?” Minzy asked to Daesung.

“ahahahaha.. Seungri is stupid! He said something about what position that can accelerate the resulting fetus and ahahaha... he.. he ahahaha... he imagine how Jiyong will let this night with Dara without making love all night long.” Daesung speak in the middle of his laugh.

“ahahaha... and he started to imagine Dara’s body with Jiyong include it. You must see Seungri’s face when Jiyong fuming with anger! That’s really epic! Aigoo i can’t stop laughing! ahahahahahaha” Youngbae added between his laugh.

We burst into laughter after hearing Youngbae’s words.  I pitied my man, but i do nothing to help him and let Jiyong chase him. Well you all know how worst G-Dragon’s wrath, right? And for your information, no one can escape and stop his wrath. Even Dara can’t stop it. Jiyong keeps screaming Seungri’s name when chasing him nonstop.

“Aigo... ahahahaha... my stomach.... ahahaha my stomach it hurts... Stupid Seungri is stupid!” Top speak in the middle his laugh. His hands above his stomach and his face getting red because too much from laughing.

“Seungri oppa is funny. He know that topic is sensitive to oppa.” Minzy said while she bites her lips to stiffle her giggled.

“Aigoo... i can’t breath... I can’t breath...” Daesung said in the middle painting from laughing hard.

A tear escape from my face because too much from laughing.  Seungri’s behaviour makes me stop from regret feeling i have and forget about my over thinking.

“Your rat is stupid, Chaerin. I swear Jiyong will make his eyebag bigger and darker than usual! Aigoo... ahahahaha.” Bom helds her stomach while giggling non stop.

“Kids, stop laughing and go to your spot before i kick your asses.” A sternly voice came from behind us. As a cue, we stop laughing when we heard that familiar voice belongs to the most powerful man in our family. We turn our back and our body frozen when we saw a middle-aged man with smirking face standing arrogantly in front of us.

Sajangnim stare at us with piercing eyes. We gulped hard when we saw his scary eyes. We bow slightly at him  and put our head down. Chills come over me as he observed us one by one.  He foldes his arm over his chest before speak. “it’s almost time for you to give Dara and fans surprise. Don’t make me regret my decisions for approve Jiyong’s crazy plans. And now, i fcking want all of you go to your spot on stage before i change my mind and cancelled all of your crazy plans along with Jiyong’s.”

We gasp and stare disbelieve at him. Sajangnim clear his troat and glare at us. “What are you waiting for?  Now get fcking out from my face!”

We startled and give him a deep bow. “Yes, sajangnim.” We chirped at him before we marched out our feet away from him.