It's raining again.

 

The raindrops are keep on hitting the window, it's almost winter..

 

  I carefully opened the door for Aunt Park "Aunt, remember to take your medicine after every meal and remember to rest more!" I smiled and remind her.

 

"Don't worry, Yi Xing, I will take care of myself, don't work too hard, these days you had to take care of me, must be really tired and annoyed.Someday I will come here and visit you with my daughter!" She smiled at me and waved 

 

The girl who's sitting in the front seat soon smiled at me. I awkwardly smiled back and nodded at Aunt Park.

 

"No problem Aunt, the rain is getting heavier now, you better go." 

 

"Okok, let's go." She smiled at me and added "You too, don't get wet!" She waved for the last time and left. I stare at that navy blue car and my smiled started to fade away.

 

Aunt Park is the ninth patient  that tried to introduce a girl to me,  since I started to do internship, don't know why would she know that I am graduating in Korea Medical University, ever since that, everyone has been trying to introduce their daughter or granddaughter to me.

 

Girlfriend? Boyfriend? My love ones?

 

A cold raindrop hit my forehead and I free-zed. 

 

This is just a name that is locked from the bottom of my heart, except for In, no one could replace this name.. 

 

I stare at the sky, that is dull and grey, just like how I am feeling right now.. What is different is tomorrow might be a sunny day but I know that my heart is just going to feel the same. It had been locked for 3 years and might be locked for a longer time. 

 

I sighed "Yi Xing, you can do it." I whispered to myself and as I was about to go back to the hospital someone suddenly grabbed my hand I stare at his hand it was thin and long.I got shocked but I started to stare at his hand it was big and white but full of little scars. I looked up and tried to see his face but shamefully his face is covered with his long blonde hair.All I could see is him wearing an old denim shirt with his legs shaking yet trying to stand up straight.

 

Ah, is he sick? "Are you okay?" I asked, he seemed to be shocked that someone would ask him rather he is okay or not. He suddenly looked up, a pair of captivating eyes that seems to sparkles in the dark entered my vision.

 

My heart started to pump faster and faster. I have never seen a pair of eyes that when I looked into and made me feel like I am getting lost, a pair of eyes that could see through my soul.And what's even more shocking is that his face, it is even more beautiful than a girl's face, that tall nose, small lips, perfect shaped chin and his flawless skin.. 

 

"Are you okay?" I asked again

 

He used both of his hands to grab me. "gege.." 

 

Uh.. gege.. me? I stare at him and I realized he really looks like he is younger than me, I bet he is 17 to 18 years old, but he is almost 10 cm taller than I am.Seeing him like that  my heart seem to be aching. "what happened? You alright? Where does it hurt? Tell gege, gege will help you..." Just when I was about to push his hair back he suddenly fell on me "Gege, help me.." I started to panic I didn't know that he would suddenly fall on me. "Help!! Someone fainted!!" I cowardly yelled. His hand touched mine and I only had one reaction.

 

Cold.

 

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That boy's sleeping on the bed, his face is really pale, I couldn't see any color besides white,expect for his thick brows and his long lashes. Why would I feel bad for him? Why is my heart aching? 

 

Why is it like that? 

 

Except for In, no one could capture my heart... 

 

When he started to call me gege, when he stare at me and when he suffered...my heart .. it seems like someone's grabbing it tight and it hurts like hell. 

 

"How was it? Is it really serious?"

 

This is the first time that I am feeling anxious after Han had checked the patient. He slowly turned his body, he is the head of this hospital, every nurse is in love with Luhan, he just graduated from Korea Medical University but since his dad owns the hospital he could be here easily. I bet the girl patients could recover easily just when they see him smile. 

 

"Yi Xing yah, you know him?" He smiled and asked 

 

"Ah?" "Anniya, I don't know him."

 

"really?' He smiled again "You sounded really concern" he added

 

"No.. I just think that just now the way he looked when he passed out was scary, I just wanted to know why is that." I stare at the boy again and saw him twitching his eyebrows .. aigo... that really hurts.

 

"Don't worry, it's just lack of  nutrition and anemia." 

 

"Lack of nutrition? Anemia?" I was kind of shock with the answer 

 

This tall boy's lack of nutrition? Why would he suffer than much if it is just lack of nutrition

 

"I thought anemia wouldn't have this kind of symptoms.." 

 

"Normally lack of nutrition and anemia wouldn't but if you started to sell your blood out twice a week then that's another case." He passed me a red booklet and there's his record of the times that he had sell his blood.

 

"Blood selling? I know that lots of poor people have been using this way to get money, but I could never think of any connection between him and blood celling.

 

"Yea, he just dropped these from his pocket." I stare at the money and the booklet and sighed." Okay, he should be alright now, help him to get some glucose injection. "ok, arraso." I sighed again. I carefully folded his money and put it back to his pocket. I took the glucose injection and some nutrition pills. I rolled up his sleeves and saw lots of injection marks. My tears almost fall from my eyes. 

 

How.. how many times did he sell him blood...? What had he gone through? Does he still want to live? I carefully helped him to inject the glucose.

 

"Ahh!" He yelled, he's finally awake. "I'm sorry does it hurt?Wait for a while.." I took off the syringe and I couldn't see any blood coming out.. 

 

Why is this happening to him..

 

"gege.." 

 

"Don't worry, gege will take care of you, you will be alright soon." I said while looking at his arm that is, full of injection marks.

 

 

 

"This might hurt a bit okay?" I started to panic .. I've been training for 2 years why can't I settle the syringe?

 

"Gege.. do you remember me?" He said 

 

"Do I know you??? Have we seen each other before? Were you here before?" I tried to concentrate myself but I failed, I tried to tear the bandage twice but failed twice.. "No! Gege!" He spoke with vivacity.He got up " You don't remember? It's when.." 

 

"When you passed out in the hallway just now." I finally settled the syringe,"How many times have you came here to sell your blood? Don't tell me that you are doing this and almost lost your life just because of that 5000 won.."   I used that I don't even know it is rather the feeling of heartache or what tone to talk to him. 

 

He looked down, didn't say anything.

 

Staring at his arms that is full of injection marks had really made me feel heart breaking, I honestly feel bad for this boy. What caused him to do this?

 

He suddenly panicked and touched his pocket ."Our doctor took your booklet away, the money's still in your pocket." I said seeing him panicking like this.. I really can't stand it. 

He finally calmed down as soon as he touched the money.

"Next time don't come here for blood selling, okay?" 

He stare at him fingers without saying anything

"Is life.. tough for you?" I said looking at him. "Go and find another job, you can't sell your blood for living, this can't go on. Here I have some money, take it." I passed him 30 thousand won and said "I DON"T WANT IT!" He replied "Take it, gege is giving this to you to buy some food to eat." I place the money on his hand "You really need to have more nutrition okay?"  "I don't want it...." He gave me back the money "I have money.. gege.. I have money..." he looked at me, crying.. 

"Don't worry, take it, go buy some food. You had already lost a lot of blood. I don't want to see you fainting again. Listen to me, take it." Seeing his facial expression.. I really have the sudden urge to protect. This time he didn't do anything he gave in. He bit his lips and looked down again, I saw more and more tears falling from his eyes. "Yi Xing! Zhang Yi Xing!" the worker yelled "It's time for Mr.Kim to get his injection!" "Okay! Coming." 

I patted his shoulder "Take a rest I will come back soon, don't worry no one would come here." he didn't reply me I went out the room feeling disappointed.

Then he stare at me as I am leaving the room, I tried my best to smile at him and leave the room.