Cornered
Our Late Night Conversations Through My Drunk Eyes
It was cold. Really cold. The fact that it had rained three hours earlier didn't help either. Key tightened his jacket around him and rubbed his hands together. He stood in front of the hotel, the one where that AA class was being held. As stubborn as he was, he knew that going in there and at least trying to get better was what was best for him. But his house, just a few blocks away, was so tempting.
Part of him wanted to go back to his house at God's speed and drink himself to death, believing every delusional thought he came up with. Then there was that other part of him where his will to get better was stronger than his stubbornness and his already set mentality combined.
Key looked left and right before crossing the road and reaching the sidewalk. There, he stood in front of the one thing that would tell him where his future was heading. If he went in, he could get better and kick his drinking habit out the window and live a happier, healthier life. But if he decided that going to that AA class was pure bull, he could continue his miserable, sad life crying over Jonghyun and drinking and drinking until he fell asleep (which he didn't enjoy doing despite the countless times he'd done it).
He reached for the door but stopped just inches before actually touching it. His hand hovered there in the air, wanting to pull the door open and give him the freedom he wanted. Although he wouldn't dare ever say it, deep down inside, Key was scared. He was scared of change and doing something that would actually benefit himself in ways he knew he would never be able to. Despite wanting to sober up and finally get over Jonghyun, the life of a drunk was all he knew. Drinking, hangovers, anything of the sorts. It was what he was best at doing, and what he had gotten comfortable doing throughout the years. Suddenly changing and getting better because he truly wanted to was something he honestly wasn't prepared to handle.
Placing his hand on the cold, metal door handle, he took a deep breath before entering the building. The lights in the main hallway (where he was) were off and the only light he had to work with was from the streetlamps outside. There was an easel near the staircase that had where the class was going to be: 2nd floor, the last door on the right. Stuffing his keys in the pocket of his jacket, he quietly made his way up the carpeted stairs to the second floor. Voices could be heard, barely, but they could be heard. What's up with it being so dark? Key wondered as he rounded the corner.
Even on the second floor, the main overhead lights were off and he had to manage his way through the hallway with light coming from a small nightlight located in the corner. Last door on the right, Key reminded himself as he passed each door. Stopping at the last door, he peered in and tried to pick out how many people were there. The light was dim and if it weren't for the host calling him in, he could have gotten away with standing by the door throughout the whole meeting.
"You there, by the door," the man called to him. "Come on in, don't be shy." Key froze in place as everyone sitting in the circle turned their attention to the mysterious man clinging to the door frame. "Come on. It's alright. We're only here to help each other," the guy tried coaxing him again. Cautiously, Key entered the room (still observing everyone who stared at him) and quickly found an open across from the host.
"What's your name?" the man asked as he crossed his left leg over his right.
"Key," he responded coldly.
The man observed Key, starting from his shoes up to the beanie covering his head. "Key? The Key from SHINee?"
Key rolled his eyes and flipped the guy off. " you."
"It was merely a question, Key. I was and still am a big fan of the group. There's no need to be so protective about it," the man told him. "My name is Woohyun, for future reference."
"What am I even doing here?" Key mumbled as he crossed his legs and sent dirty looks to Woohyun.
"I don't know," Woohyun told him, ignoring the fact that it was a rhetorical question. "You're the one who came here."
"You know what-"
"What, Key? What? Please do tell," Woohyun mocked him.
"Keep it up and I might just leave this goddamn place," he threatened.
"Go ahead," Woohyun waved his hand toward the door with a relaxed expression. "But I honestly think coming here would have been pointless then since you obviously came to get help and sober up. Therefore, your absence does me no harm in any way, shape, or form so be my guest and leave."
Key opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut seeing as he was cornered and most definitely being choked with words he couldn't bare to process. Sighing, he sat back in his chair and gave up trying to argue.
"Now, we will pick back up where we were. Before you came, Key, we were just getting to know each other by sharing a few facts about yourself or how you came to be an alcoholic." A few people made a face at the word 'alcoholic'. Key simply rolled his eyes and absentmindedly fixed his hair. Once it got to his turn, he stubbornly said nothing but seeing as the class wasn't going to continue without his fair share, he reluctantly told his story of how he became addicted to alcohol and its horribly comforting ways.
After the class was over, Woohyun thanked everyone for coming and told them the date of the next meeting. "Thursday is the next meeting. We'll have two meetings per week. One on Monday then on Thursday. I hope to see you there."
"You know he likes you, right?" a man not much older than Key told him as they exited the room. Key held back the urge to laugh out loud and possibly wake the sleeping residents. "I'm Jinwoon, by the way."
"Nice to meet you," Key said as they shook hands. "I'm flattered you would think that but I honestly doubt it. Did you not see how we were basically at each other's throats earlier?"
"I did, and boy was it funny. You're a funny person, Key, but it's kind of obvious that he's somewhat interested in you. I mean, who else would just flat out put someone on the spot like that?" Jinwoon asked as he held the door open for Key.
"s," Key chuckled. "s do."
Jinwoon laughed, "You're right. Eh, Woohyun's got a way of teaching, if you will. He's helped even the worst of cases and given your condition, I'm sure you'll be out of here in no time."
"Given my condition?"
Jinwoon nodded, "Yes, your condition. You don't look like you would even been considered an alcoholic."
Key blushed and shook his head so that his hair partially covered his eyes. "Are you trying you flirt with me, Jinwoon?"
"Haha, now I'm the one who's flattered. Thanks but no thanks. I have a girlfriend. Well, it's complicated but I like to think that we're still dating. The only reason I've started coming to these AA meetings is for her. I'm trying to get better for her and be a better boyfriend for her sake. I didn't necessarily want to change or get better but as long as me sobering up made her happy, then hell, I'm happy too.
Fun fact: Woohyun's dated an alcoholic before and it was not pretty. Their breakup was quite messy and he almost broke his 5 year clean slate of not drinking. That's kind of why he decided to be an AA counselor. He doesn't want to see people like you or me end up in a terrible, horrible place. We still have our lives cut out for us and just completely screwing that up by the use of something man-made is just plain stupidity. Can I count on seeing you on Thursday?"
Key thought about it for a second before answering, "Sure. But I swear, if you kidnap me or anything..."
"I won't, I won't. My mother didn't raise me that way," Jinwoon joked. "Alright, I'll see you then. Have a nice night, Key." Key waved and stood there in the middle of the sidewalk with a grin on his face. He made a note to thank Duho for telling him about the meeting even though he had been snooping in his personal life once again. Key walked home and for the first time in a long time, he went to sleep peacefully and without alcohol and regret coursing through his veins.
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