With tears rolling down his cheeks, Tao gripped the elder’s shirt and pulled him back close to him, shaking his head right and left slowly as he continued on begging with his weak voice.

“No… Kris, please don’t do this! You know I can’t live without you. Don’t leave me please! Don’t just walk away after saying this to me…” Tao whispered with a stammering voice, gripping on the fabric of the shirt tighter.

“Tao…” The elder responded with a rather cold voice, glancing deeply inside the other’s drowning eyes. He sighed and then wrapped his slender fingers around the younger’s wrist, abruptly removing his hand from his messy shirt.

“I can’t.” He simply replied to the younger before walking away with brave and wide steps. No matter how much he hated doing this like that, he couldn’t continue anymore. He was afraid that someday he might fall harder for Tao and that this might hurt a lot. He was afraid of this mental pain, not knowing how it will actually feel like. He was scared of the unknown, and that led him to this breaking up, with all those fake words and reasons.

“I can’t be with you anymore” Those words repeated inside the younger’s head, causing a headache to hit right after.

“It was only for the ” More of these hurtful words popped in his mind, bringing out more tears as he slowly walked towards the opposite direction. He looked back for one more time, seeing that Kris just kept on walking away from him, with no regrets and without a last glance. He just disappeared as he walked away from that small bridge in the beach.

One month later

 Tao’s POV

It has been just a month since Kris decided that we should stop watching each other. I don’t know why, but I still love this man so much, even though he hurt me and used me for my body, I still freaking love him. I’ve been counting the minutes we are apart and so far they have been 43800 minutes. My mind only counts the minutes now and it thinks of him all the time. It’s really painful that we are so much away from each other. I am not even sure if he is still here at this town, but I wish he is. I don’t want him to be any further away from me. It hurts my heart so much.

One more minute just passed, a minute of thinking about him just went away the same way he did when he walked away from me that day. So fast, without any regrets and without a last glance. Not even a small kiss on the lips, on the cheek or just on my forehead. He just walked away with his cold eyes looking at me briefly before turning around to face away from my sight. Did he really want me just for that? Just for ? So, all of those words he used to whisper into my ear weren’t true? All of those promises about long walks to the beach forever weren’t real? We will never be together again, and now that I really need him by my side, he is not here. I have never been so needy in my whole life. I am sick of being lonely, and right now I am just sick in general without anyone to take care of me.

Three more minutes just passed and I am still sitting here on this bench, hoping that I will see him walking beside me and then sitting down with me. In a minute the sun will set slowly and then the sky will turn orange with all those other peaceful colors mixed. For once again I will have a lonely sunset. I come here every day, walking to the same place, sitting down on the same bench and what do I do? I just wait with a heart full of hope that Kris might show up. I know he doesn’t deserve something like this, especially after his harsh words. I am sure that a man like him doesn’t deserve such a strong and lasting love, but I can’t help it. Want it or not I still love this filthy jerk with my whole heart.

The fourth minute came and the sun finally started diving into the sea. I always wondered if the sun indeed was diving in there or if it was just going down behind the mountains, behind the sky. It’s so beautiful to watch such a majestic view. A smile softly crept on my lips as I stood up. A small sigh managed to escape through them afterwards and with small and steady steps I started walking away from the bench, away from the bridge. I my right and then I kept on walking straight ahead. I got a little closer to the sea, now walking beside it with the warm sand hugging my bare feet gently. I tilted my head a few angles on the right and I watched the moon as it proudly raised into the sky. I don’t know why I did it, but I chuckled at the ironic memory of me and Kris doing this every night, together.

I was walking for like 5 more minutes till I could see the place on the sand where I had left my shoes. I bent down gently and picked them up, holding them in my hand as I continued walking afterwards, heading back to the hospital with the same small and steady steps, drawing in the sand a path with my footprints.

“Please Mr. Tao come with me! You need to go to your room and sleep. You need to rest, you walked too much today.” The nurse said in a worried tone as I slowly walked towards her. A small smile slowly drew my face with a sight of happiness and she soon had gripped my hand gently and led me to my room. Such a gentle woman, she does her job really well and she is always sweet to me. She is actually the only person that has taken care of me since I entered this hospital. I think the first time I came here was 20 days ago, about 1440 minutes. I also think that by the time Kris and I broke up, I have turned into a minute counting maniac. I sometimes believe that I annoy people with muttering all those calculations, but I can’t help it. I just count and hope that soon enough Kris will come back to me, even if it was for a day, or for just 6 hours. Afternoon is the only time that doctor allows me to go somewhere outside the hospital. It will usually be from 6pm with a limit till 12am.

“Please Tao, lie down!” I suddenly heard a voice saying. Oops, I was talking to myself again and this made me forget a little about the nurse who tried to make me lie down on the comfy bed. Just like she asked, I lay down slowly with a small sigh.

“How was your walk today?” She asked me while fixing the covers, making sure I was warm enough. I just shrugged my shoulders and then chuckled slightly.

“It was completely the same to be honest. I just walked around, then I sat on the bench and waited for the sunset and then I slowly walked back here.” I replied back with a soft voice, smiling up at her. She seemed a little sad or just concerned after she heard what I said.

“Why do you always do the same? You walk around, wait and then come back?” The nurse asked with a pretty concerned voice and I just blinked a couple of times before chuckling softly. I extended my hand up towards her face and then I gently pinched her cheek.

“Because I am still waiting for him, Noona.” I said softly and she just pouted playfully, taking my hand and gently kissing it.

“I just really worry about you…. You spend too much time alone, walking around and this isn’t really good for your health, and you know that right?” She spoke gently, caressing my cold hand with her fingers as if trying to warm it up a little. I shook my head and then tugged her hand down till it could reach my lips. I kissed her palm softly and then patted it a few times with my free hand.

“Don’t worry, Noona. I know I am sick but I want to spend as much time as I can to wait for him…” I whispered with an almost hopeless voice and then looked away, removing my hand from hers and just turning my back to her as I lay on my side.

“Tao… I can’t stand watching you like that. I can hear you crying every night, muttering some words and I really can’t continue seeing you like this. Stop waiting, just call him already and ask him to come and see you. You have the right to tell him about your health Tao. He has the right to know before you are gone…” She said in a bit determined tone, making me sigh as her words were just so right. I had to call him and have a few last hours with him. I lied to him back then, when we were still together, saying I was fine when I wasn’t. He would notice that I wasn’t that good, but I kept on telling him I was fine and healthy. Now, I am worst than ever and I really have to let him know that.

“I will call him tomorrow, okay?” I said while looking briefly back at her. She smiled widely and patted my back.

“You are doing the right move Tao.” She whispered near my ear before kissing the woolen cap that was covering my head. A smile formed on my lips and my eyes slowly closed.

“I will leave my phone here on the small table beside you, tomorrow morning when you wake up, call him and ask him to come and see you. Goodnight my cutie panda” She whispered one last time and as said she placed her phone on the table beside me before walking out of the room. A small chuckle escaped from my lips when she called me that and soon after when the lights were off I quickly fell asleep, for once again dreaming about him but this time about all of our sweet memories, nothing bitter for tonight, just the good, wonderful and peaceful ones.

A warm touch was caressing my pale face gently and a soft light hit against my eyes, making me flutter them open with a wide yawn. It was already morning and the sun was penetrating the thin fabric of the curtains that were flailing around. It’s not as cold today though, yesterday the morning atmosphere was much colder than the one right now. I smiled and slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes with my fists like a baby before jumping off the bed. I blinked a couple of times and then I turned my head to the side a little, glancing over to the small table beside my bed. I chuckled and leaned over, taking the nurse’s phone. I was so happy, yet so nervous. What if Kris isn’t here in town, or even worse, what if he doesn’t want to come? What if he has forgotten me completely?

I bit my bottom lip and then walked into the bathroom. I better wash my face first, not that it matters but I am still a little sleepy so I should put some water on my face in case I want to sleep again. With a small chuckle I entered the small bathroom in my room and I stood in front of the sink, looking into the mirror.

“Damn… How am I supposed to meet him if I am like that?” I muttered to myself as I fixed the woolen cap on my head a little. It moved kind sideways while I was sleeping, so I have to put it straight down again to make it cover all of my head. A minute after I let down the phone carefully on a surely dry spot, and then I opened the tab with the water; and I started washing my face. Once I was done I used a towel to wipe the dripping water. I took the phone and rushed outside to get dressed with some warm clothes.

“Good morning sleeping beauty~” Suddenly a voice entered the room and I turned my head towards the door, already knowing who this was.

“Morning, Noona.” I said with a smile and looked at the nurse as she walked over to me. She chuckled and patted my cheek lightly, raising an eyebrow while curiously looking at me. I blinked a couple of times and then I tilted my head to the side.

“What is it?” I muttered, not really understanding why she was looking at me like that, as if she wanted to know something. She rolled her eyes and then pointed her eyes at my hand which was holding her phone. I blinked and then looked down at it as well, chuckling as I now knew what she wanted to know.

“I haven’t called him yet… I want to get dressed first.” I said in a low tone and lowered my head slightly as well, nibbling on my bottom lip nervously. I am sure she could see how nervous I was and she couldn’t but just sigh softly and then pat my head a few times like I was a puppy.

“It’s fine. Just do it, okay? Don’t get so nervous, it’s not really good…” She trailed off her voice at the end of her sentence, now nibbling her own lip but in concern as she gently my cheek and looked at me with eyes full of fear. I took her hand and I kissed it lovingly like a son would do to calm down his worrying mother. She smiled a little and then we both nodded our heads.

“I know you worry, Noona, but please don’t. Out of all the people here you were the only one who took care of me, you were the only one who always helped me and wanted to make me smile even when it was impossible. And now, you are the only one who can give me courage to do this one last thing… Please, umma…” I said through a gentle whisper, looking at her with begging eyes. I really see her as a mother to me. My own parents are far away now, in heaven, and I will soon be finally able to meet them again. All I need is to see Kris for the last time as well, as the person I was a month ago and not as a sick patient in a hospital where people will die almost every day.

There were a few minutes of silence before she could just nod with a few small tears falling from her eyes. She wiped them away quickly and then she hugged me tightly yet carefully. I slowly trailed my hands around her and I hugged her back for a few seconds before pulling away with a wide smile.

“Now, please umma help me get dressed!” I said and she shook her head while taking the phone from my hand and then sticking it in my face.

“Not before you call him!” She said in a demanding voice and I just chuckled. She was really trying to encourage me right now, yeah. I took the phone back and then I nodded my head while dialing Kris’ number. I pressed the call button and I waited till he would pick up his phone. I couldn’t stop nibbling my lips all these seconds and when a voice answered I froze with widened eyes.

“Hello? Wu Fan Kris here.” He said with his always deep yet soft voice. I gulped and with a stammering voice I spoke, my fingers colder as ever as I held the phone.

“H-Hello Kris… It’s been a wh-while, don’t you think?” I started biting my lips again after saying this, being able to notice this long pause through the phone. I bet he was really shocked after hearing my voice again, right? A few seconds after he cleared his throat and spoke back.

“T-Tao? Is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me Kris…” I replied with a low voice and a sigh could be heard from him. I started biting my lips again now.

“I am sorry for calling you so suddenly... I just need to…” I trailed off with an awkward voice, trying to find some words to say while at the same time Noona was motioning to me to speak more.

“Hello? You still there Tao?” Kris asked with a small chuckle and I just blinked and nodded my head, replying back immediately.

“Y-Yes! I just… Kris, I want to ask you something… I want you to do a favor for me” The lip biting started again as I nervously waited for a response of his. I am sure that right now he is blinking, confused and startled.

“What do you want me to do for you, Tao?” He asked in a curious voice and I sighed softly before replying with a shaking voice.

“6 more hours…” I muttered and he had to ask me again as he didn’t understand what I was asking for.

“Kris, I need to see you… Please, give me 6 more hours! That’s all I am asking from you. 6 more hours to the place we used to go all the time when… we were together.” I trailed off and a loud sigh could be heard this time. Before he could speak I cut him off by saying:

“Please Kris it’s really important to me! I need to see you again and I have the need to tell you something as well. Just please 6 more hours and then we won’t talk ever again, and then we will never see each other again…” I waited for a few seconds, waiting for a positive reply but all I got was silence and after a minute or so Kris finally spoke with an unsure voice.

“Fine but just for 6 hours, to the beach right?” He still remembered. I am so glad he did. I nodded my head and with a happily raised voice I told him that yes that was the place I meant. We decided to meet up later, at 6 pm in the afternoon and I couldn’t but just agree. Later we just hanged up and me, with a fluttering heart I glomped Noona and hugged her tightly.

“He said yes!” I exclaimed happily and she just giggled, patting my back gently.

“See? I told you he would!” She said with a small nod of her head and then she patted my shoulder.

“Now, let’s get you ready!”

“Wait, I want you to do one last favor for me as well…” I muttered shyly and I slowly walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it while looking at her. She blinked a couple of times and then she sat beside me, tilting her head to the side curiously.

“Sure, anything you want cutie panda.”

“I need to go out there as the one I was before, not as a patient from a hospital… If you know what I mean…” I trailed off slowly and she looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

“It’s gonna be dangerous!”

“It won’t be, trust me! Just, give me my old clothes, help me with the makeup and then remove all this hospital from me! Please, I really need this! I can’t show up like that. He is gonna notice and I can’t tell him yet. I want to see him first and then at the end I will let him know about everything.” I said while looking at her with my best puppy eyes. After a long pause she pouted and looked away while nodding her head a little.

“Aish, you, and your freaking puppy eyes.” She muttered under her breath and I couldn’t but chuckle softly and then pinch her cheek lightly. She looked at me with concerned eyes and I just leaned over and pecked her cheek.

“Don’t worry.” I simply said and let a big smile form on my face. She nodded a little while trying to smile back and then she hugged me tightly, whispering in my ear sweet words like a mother would say to her child at the most important moment. I sighed happily and then I gently pulled away, standing up and hopping slightly on my toes.

“Come on! I wanna get ready now!” I said and she grinned a little, standing up as well and then nodding her head a few times.

“Okay, wait here! I am going to bring your old clothes and my makeup accessories so we can get you ready for the date~” At her last words I blushed a little but nodded right after, waiting there as she walked outside to go and bring all the things that we needed. Minutes after she had come back and she helped me with changing into my clothes when I first came here. They were clean and Kris’ scent was still on them. I could faintly smell it. After getting dressed she sat me down and she started with the makeup and all this I asked for so that we could hide a little the paleness and the weakness on my face. The woolen cap stayed on my head and hopefully it would fit with the clothes I was wearing. When we were finally done I stayed alone for a short while, trying to give to myself some more confidence. Later on I had to make some checkups and when the time passed by, I was walking out of the hospital as the healthy person I used to be, but the only difference was that this was a lie behind some clothes and makeup. I just hoped Kris wouldn’t notice easily, not till I would be ready to tell him myself.

I walked slowly to the beach, counting the minutes for once again, counting and calculating to make sure I will be there in time or at least a bit earlier. When I arrived to the beach, I walked up to the small bridge that was there and I sat down on the same bench that I used to sit alone all this time. I sighed and then waited till Kris would show up, eventually.

End of POV

Okay so, let me explain why it stops here and why there is a part two :P lol Simple, it ended up being way too long for a one-shot, so I decided to 'cut it', and then post the other half later ^^ BUT I will post the other half of it in a few days :) I still haven't finished it "completely", so please subscribe, comment and patiently wait till my next update ^^ A big thanks to the people who have been supporting me for this long, and for the new people who support this fic of mine :D Thank you guys <3 Enjoy, comment, subscribe and wait pelase! <3 Love ya all~~~~