GybzyXiao

La Lune aux Étoiles Review Shop
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

Hi^^ This is review number 2 ( Mouhahahah :D ) so i'll be reviewing:

Story: Crooked road

Author: GybzyXiao

Characters: 2ne1, Big Bang, Exo.

Genre: Romance, , slight angst, fluff.

So as you all know<3 We grade 5 categories!!!!!!!! Plot, Character development, Originality, Grammar and Spelling. Here we go!!

 

Plot: Unfortunately, your story as only one chapter ^^') so this might be hard to grade. At least for now the story has a hook and that's good. And i don't usually like girl/guy stories nor 2ne1 or Big Bang but i'll admit your story interests me, which is probably a good sign. And the is awesome. Problem is, because your story is a little cliche, i get the feeling that i'll predict everything that's going to happen which is not a good thing for the reader. So surprise us!! Turn your love story into an Hitchcock movie (minus the murders).

 

Character development: Again, your story has just one chapter, so i can't really grade character development. But, i can grade the characters. So bad thing is: your characters are complete cliches. Good thing is: they're cliche when we take them individually. Together they're pretty good. The fact that BOTH Baekhyun and G-Dragon are s is pretty original (you know, instead of one being a cold and the other all lovey-dovey) I think you should change CL's character because she's like the girl i've read in every fanfic. You don't have to change her much, but just take one part of her personnality and "grow" it in an excessive way so she'll stand out (like make her very "something").

 

Originality: You may have gathered from what i've written before, but you're story is

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
snowflake16
#1
Chapter 15: Thank you for the review, xoxoChocie. I've picked up and credited :)
Mi-Yixing-You
#2
Chapter 14: Thank you for the review, I'll do my best to change what needs to be change and do the proper edits ^^
I'll credit now ^^
snowflake16
#3
I've requested :)
Mi-Yixing-You
#4
Requested for a Review. Thank you in advance.
luqluq
#5
Submitted~
sushi_sykes
#6
Chapter 12: HIII picking up my reviews!' thank you for the feedback and sorry for the late pick up! hahaa I don't capitalize cause I find that it brings more impact and I'm also lazy like that. hahaha but AWWW I'm sorry if I made you cry ahaha thank you so much!! it means a lot to me (: I'll credit everything tomorrow cause it's almost midnight here teehee thank you ^^
crazytoot
#7
Ah this .
sushi_sykes
#8
i've requested (:
exoexoexolellel #9
Hello there!
Do you wanna be affies? :D

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/739047