Chapter V: Forgotten

A/N: HAPPY KAISOO DAY!

Kyungsoo could almost swear he could see stars behind his close eyelids as Jongin pushed him against the oakwood door that was just slammed shut. His body squirming under every single flutter of fingers on his bare skin as the younger slipped his hands under the hem of his shirt, caressing the pale breadth of skin before pulling the clothing over Kyungsoo’s head. An intense shiver ran through his spine when Jongin attached his lips on Kyungsoo’s neck, nibbling on the pale skin before twirling his tongue on the mark and smirking, as if the younger was taking proud of what he had done. Kyungsoo’s head spun as he let his hands wander down Jongin’s bare chest, fingers lightly scraping the sun-kissed skin making the younger whimper under his touch.

“Hyung..” Jongin moaned against Kyungsoo’s ear when his body arched against the younger’s touch and Kyungsoo could almost feel his insides exploding. “Can I?” Jongin even added as soon as the younger got on his knees and lightly traced the tent that formed on Kyungsoo’s pajama pants. Chocolate brown orbs were boring through his soul, as if trying to read through all his thoughts, through his deepest and darkest secrets and Kyungsoo couldn’t even find himself caring. With just one touch, Kyungsoo’s inhibitions and fears had somehow been thrown deep inside his abyss, covered by overwhelming feeling of ecstasy as he felt Jongin take his everything. His knees wobbled under his weight as he grasped on Jongin’s raven hair, harshly fondling with the locks as he watched the younger move beneath him, drawing patterns on his pale legs as he screamed in pleasure.

“Where’s your room?” Jongin’s voice was the last coherent memory Kyungsoo had before he found himself on his bed, chocolate brown orbs, grazed with lust and longing hovering above him as he felt his whole body shudder under the younger’s touch. Jongin smirked, eyes twinkling with desire before Kyungsoo grabbed the other’s nape and smashed their swollen lips together. He could almost hear his heart leap inside his chest as their lips danced along the music of their overdue melody. The sound of two bodies colliding rang inside his head, drowning every single thought, only leaving the ones with shooting stars behind Jongin’s sultry eyes before his conscious had turned blank when he felt something twitching inside him. He let out a loud groan.

“. Do that again.” Kyungsoo watched how Jongin’s lips drew another smirk at his words, slowly and excruciatingly moving his fingers inside the elder.

“Eager, aren’t we?” He almost reached his end with the sound of the younger’s voice, sweetly morphing with the music of their beating hearts. “Just a little bit more okay? I know you haven’t done this in a while. I don’t want to hurt you.” Jongin hummed, twitching his fingers once more as he nipped on Kyungsoo’s ear, the pale skin under it before he captured the elder’s lips in a sloppy kiss, tongues colliding as both fought for dominance.

 A trickle of sweat trailed down his bare chest as he felt Jongin’s body molded with his, thinking that perhaps shooting stars were made for them to be together. He could almost feel copper on in his mouth as he bit his lip, trying to suppress a scream of pain mixed with limitless pleasure. He would shut his eyes if not for the alluring chocolate brown orbs that was still boring through his soul, chasing him out of the abyss he had once locked himself into. His fingers travelled down the younger’s spine, scraping the expanse of bronze skin, leaving a trail of red marks as Kyungsoo finally let out a scream filled with ecstasy.

Kyungsoo’s voice echoed inside Jongin’s head, mind hazy with pleasure and desire as he plunged even deeper into the elder. He could almost see shooting stars in Kyungsoo’s wide eyes yet he thought perhaps it was just a reflection of his because he was pretty ing sure that shooting stars were created just for him to make love his beloved. He felt himself twitch, letting himself get engulfed by Kyungsoo’s warmth, completely letting go of all his restrictions as he fell deeper into the trench he had once ran away from. The race that he once thought offered nothing but dysphoria had ended up giving him bliss. And Jongin could swear he could hear his voice echoing along with Kyungsoo’s as both reached their paradise together, hand in hand, with nothing but wishes, shooting stars, and their broken hearts.

*****

Jongin panicked at the sight of an empty bed when his eyes fluttered open. There was no warm body caged in his arms, nor was there any sign of movement found inside the room. His mind suddenly wandered down roads filled with hazy misery and sinister. The coldness of winter started sending chills to his core as he pondered on how shallow he felt as he stared at the empty spot beside him. Perhaps everything that had happened was just a dream. A mirage that fate decided to let him have, a temporary bliss that would just send him even much deeper down the pit of his despair. He knew Kai wouldn’t even bother yet he couldn’t seem to find any trace of the persona he had created deep inside him.

The ceiling above him was white and plain and Jongin thought it was miserably bright for his eyes to take. He let his eyes travel around the unfamiliar room, taking every single corner of it in as he tried and reminisce what had just transpired. Fate and paradoxes were the only two words he could think of. Running around circles, chasing each other down endless paths that all lead to uncertainties yet Jongin had always known that between him, and his love, uncertainties would always be inevitable. It could have been just him, really, and his silent wishes upon shooting stars that he never thought would actually come true. Perhaps it was a long overdue second chance the universe had decided he needed the most.

He felt a small movement on the foot of the bed and a smile grazed his lips when a familiar feline greeted him with a purr.

“Hello there.” He cooed as he picked up the cat and cradled it in his left arm as he picked up the underwear he found neatly folded on the night stand. Right beside it was a small note that made Jongin’s smile even wider as he looked at the familiar pencraft.

Making lunch <3

Two simple words and a stupid heart – Jongin thought and he could almost feel tornados of butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He would scream if he didn’t just realize that he was a thirty something year old man and that screaming over a love note was done by love struck teenagers. Smile, just a smile, a grin perhaps, grin is good. Grinning like a love struck puppy is good. Biting his lip to suppress a very manly scream is good. Everything is good. Kyungsoo and he were together once more. No, everything is more than good. Everything is great. Everything is perfect.

It was already half past eleven when he decided that he was calm enough and come out of the room – about fifteen minutes after he found the note, five minutes after he started rolling around the bed, grinning like an idiot and two minutes after he realized that he was acting like a total . And really, he would go run back in the room and do the exact the same thing when he saw a small figure in the kitchen, cutely humming along familiar tune he had always known by heart. Jongin watched the figure fluidly move around the kitchen, setting up plates and bowls, smiling at the aroma of his cooking and Jongin thought his heart was going to explode.

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

“Oh hey. You’re up.” The figure stopped humming and smiled at him, apron wrapped around its waist and face eyes sparkling in the midst of his winter morning. If it wasn’t for the overwhelming glee seeping through every cell in his body, he would really scream like a teenage girl – ignoring the fact that he was a thirty something year old man and that it would be extremely awkward if he started fanboying and jumping around while clapping his hands like a retarded seal. He tried settling with a poker face that knew looked a lot like he was constipated.

“Ah yeah.” He cleared his throat and smiled awkwardly before walking towards the other male and giving it a light peck on its full lips and snaking his arms around the elder’s waist. “Why didn’t you wake me up? I could’ve helped you cook Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo almost grimaced at the younger’s question, prying himself off of Jongin’s embrace. Jongin could battle Chanyeol and Sehun in setting things on fire. Baekhyun once called the three the pyromaniac trio and Kyungsoo would never let any of those three near his kitchen ever again.

“Uh no. I just tricked Jongdae and Junmyeon into paying for the renovation of my kitchen and I am not letting you set anything on fire today.”

“Excuse me. I’m a pretty decent cook.” Jongin released on offended scoff.

“Really?” Kyugsoo cocked his eyebrow. “Remind me again of the last time I let you help me cook? You dropped a scorching hot baking pan on Jongdae’s foot and set your apron on fire two minutes later.”

“But-“

“Jongin. No.”

“I’ve been living by myself in the past years and am fully capable of preparing my own meals. Thank you very much.”

Kyungsoo chuckled, letting his body, along with his heart, fall onto Jongin’s as the younger pulled him in again in a tight hug, chin resting on his shoulder, swaying both bodies along music only they could hear.

“I know Yixing cooks for you in New York and you spend so much money on fast food you can buy five McDonalds franchise.”

Jongin scoffed once more, pulling the elder in one of the chairs with him and started munching on the side dishes. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that and that I am not totally offended by your words just because your food tastes too good.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile as he watched the younger’s face lit up with every bite. Cooking for Jongin had always been his favorite thing to do and the memory of how it felt was almost too vague for him to remember yet the fluttering in his chest was quickly reminding him of the things he had once chose to give up. He could almost feel regret clawing through his soul yet the same smile that could battle the northern lights was somehow pulling him away from the despair he had once found solace in and Kyungsoo thought that perhaps, it was time for him to finally let go.

“You’re such a kid Jongin.”

Jongin just grinned and stuffed three pieces of meat in Kyungsoo’s mouth, making the elder shut up.

 The rest of the meal was spent in an extremely comfortable silence – with Kyungsoo still sitting on Jongin’s lap and Jongin occasionally feeding the elder while thinking how he really couldn’t ask for anything more except for every single moment with Kyungsoo to last forever. He could watch hundreds of shooting stars cross the sky, he could be given a million chances to wish and all he would ask for was to spend eternity with a certain person with pale skin, wide sparkling eyes, voice of an angel, and heart shaped lips – Do Kyungsoo. It was a cliché he used to not want to go back to yet fate had always had its way to show its cruelty. Fate would always throw him back to the paradox he had been running away from no matter how hard he tried to run away from it. Jongin would still call fate a little but he would thank it for giving him a chance to move forward and love again.

If the world would ask Kyungsoo, he would say that he was at his happiest, sitting in a comfortable silence in the company of the brightest star in his universe, savoring each moment as he pictured what perfection looked like in his mind and he couldn’t help but think of sun-kissed skin that sparkled under the moonlit sky, eyes that were always sparkling with glee, smile that could battle the Northern lights. He thought of the amount of staccatos and vivaces he had drawn whenever his eyes would meet Jongin’s, of how his heart would hum the same tune - D#           Dm          Cm          Gm – as his fingers danced on the keys his dream grand piano, playing an unfinished music he had always known would only be done by one person, of how he would think of unwritten lyrics that would perfectly fit each note of his fragmentary masterpiece. It was already established that Kyungsoo had always liked serenity yet he knew that beyond the comfortable silence, accompanied by the song of their beating heart, there would always be the dark secrets that would never fail to make Kyungsoo’s heart waver. He had always known that beyond all the shooting stars and fulfilled wishes, there will always be the darkness – always lurking, always watching, waiting for its chance to strike them once more. Yet Kyungsoo wasn’t scared anymore. He wasn’t scared of pain and getting hurt because he knew that with everything that Jongin and he had gone through, no matter how deep the abyss was, or how dim that stars could be, Jongin’s smile would always be there to light his was and lead him to his paradise.

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

He heard Jongin hummed, breaking his train of thoughts as he watched chocolate brown eyes reflect his own and he thought perhaps the only serenity he needed was Jongin and that the world and fate could just go itself and that nobody should, and could tell two beatings hearts if they should be together or not.

“Oh ! ! ! !” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows as he watched the younger ran back into his room and started grabbing all his belongings. “ I need to go home. My sister’s gonna kill me!”

“What?”

“I need to go.” Jongin ran towards the door only to come back again, only to grab the still very much confused Kyungsoo’s hand. “Actually you should come with me.”

“What?”

“Just come with me.”

“Where?”

“To meet my sister.”

“What?”

“Hyung!”

Kyungsoo gawked at Jongin. “I mean, right now?”

“Yes! Right now! Hours ago actually!” Jongin ruffled his raven hair, and really, if they weren’t in such situation, Kyungsoo would run his fingers through those locks. “She’ll definitely kill me when she sees me. I forgot to feed the kids!”

Kyungsoo just watched the younger walked around his living room, panic written all over chocolate brown orbs. Kyungsoo thought it was adorable because he knew Jongin more than anybody and he was more than sure that the younger was just fussing over something silly and asking more questions would just end up futile and would just make the other male freak out even more.

“Okay give me a sec. I’ll just shower and change.”

“But why! I need to get there soon!”

Kyungsoo decided that questions were unnecessary but a smack in the head was.

“Do the dishes while I shower. I’m not exactly very fond of walking around with something sticky in between my legs.”

Jongin smirked and wriggled his eyebrows at the elder’s innuendo-ish comment.

“Do you need help washing?”

Kyungsoo just threw his apron at the younger’s face.

“Wash the ing dishes.”

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

Kyungsoo hummed before he entered the bathroom.

*****

It was already a little too late when Kyungsoo had started thinking about his decision. He was already standing in front of a glass door; fingers interlaced with Jongin’s and head spinning. He didn’t actually think of the consequences of his decision up until he was watching Jongin fumbling with his key cards and Kyungsoo thought that perhaps he should just start running away once more yet feeling the warmth of Jongin’s hands reminded him that the younger would probably never let him go again.

“Glad you finally decided to come home. I thought you drowned in the ocean.” A middle-aged lady with long, black hair and eyes almost the same as Jongin’s materialized behind them before Jongin could even open the door. Kyungsoo thought running was definitely the best choice when his eyes met hers. “And you brought a friend?” A sly smile painted the lady’s lips, eyes travelling down to Jongin and his connected hands.

“Noona!”

The lady chuckled. “Jongin. You’re thirty three years old. Stop blushing like a little girl.”

Jongin just rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Are you gonna let me in or not? The kids haven’t eaten yet.”

“I know captain obvious. Why do you think I’ve been waiting for you?”

Kyungsoo just watched the siblings bicker as he let his mind ponder over his decision once more. Jongin had two older sisters and he had met all of them back when they were kids. He wasn’t as close to them but the two had always treated Kyungsoo like their own brother back then and scared was very much of an understatement to define what he was feeling. He was scared that perhaps Jongin’s sister would recognize him and that he would have to face the darkness of his past once more. He had managed to avoid meeting Jongin’s family back when they were still together and really, Kyungsoo had never actually thought of what he would do now that he was awkwardly standing in front of one.

“Go feed your kids before they starve to death and then you’re gonna blame me for not taking care of them good enough! You came home early because Jjangah wouldn’t eat without you and now you won’t even feed him. What a great father you are Kim Jongin. Tsk.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.” He heard Jongin replied before the younger walked towards to what he assumed was the kitchen, waving his hands in surrender and elder sister sticking out her tongue behind him. “That kid needs to grow up I swear.” Jongin’s sister plopped on the couch across the living room, intently watching how Kyungsoo fidgeted on his spot.

“So you’re the infamous Kyungsoo I presume?” The tone of her voice switched from playful to serious, and Kyungsoo could almost feel his bones shiver. Running could be the best choice, really. “Take a seat. Jongin will probably come back with tea and snacks so I won’t offer you any.”

Kyungsoo took a seat on the chair beside the huge window, looking over an elegant English garden. On regular circumstances, Kyungsoo would definitely complement the beauty of the plot yet the way Jongin’s sister was watching his every move was making him wish for a hole to just appear below him and eat him alive. His heart was racing and palms sweating. He tried focusing his eyes on everything but Jongin’s sister yet the way the elder looked at him was just making his head spin. A lump started forming in his throat as his mind started reeling memories he had been wishing to forget.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” She smiled. “Jongin wouldn’t shut up about you back then. He kept about perfect you were and that you were the best thing that ever happened to him. God he was so annoying back then. He would never end a sentence without mentioning your name even once.” Jongin’s sister chuckled and it somehow made Kyungsoo feel a little at ease. “My name’s Junghye by the way.”

“I.. I know.” Kyungsoo stuttered.

Junghye kept watching Kyungsoo, gauging the things that she would say. She was still in the midst of contemplating about how she felt about the boy. It had been a while, too long actually, for her to even reminisce.

“Good. Just thought I should remind you. You seemed to have forgotten about us Kyungsoo-yah.”

Kyungsoo almost cringed at the way Junghye spoke his name. It reminded him of sleepovers filled with endless teasing and giggles and with just that, he concluded that his fears and paranoia weren’t just all for nothing. The elder remembered him.

“Relax Kyungsoo. Yes, I do remember you. The moment Jongin described you I already knew that the boy my brother was going crazy about was you. We have always known that he had been in love with you ever since we were kids and that he would never love anybody else as much as he loves you. Even Mom was broken hearted when you guys broke up.” Junghye smiled, reaching for Kyungsoo’s trembling hands. What happened in the past was truly devastating and really, if she wasn’t as open minded he would have blamed Kyungsoo as well yet she had always known that everything wasn’t Kyungsoo’s or anybody’s fault. Kyungsoo was just a kid and she was aware of the trauma the younger had also gone through. “But I don’t hate you. I still love you the same though I’m just a little upset that you just disappeared without saying goodbye. We tried looking for you everywhere. Mom wanted to adopt you.”

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo’s tears started falling. He didn’t deserve such sympathy, hell he didn’t even deserve hate. He didn’t deserve anything that would from Jongin’s family yet after all that they had gone through, all he got from the Kims were nothing but love and forgiveness. Really, he would trade his life just to turn back time and redo all the things that had gone wrong yet the way Junghye’s eyes watered as she tried and wipe Kyungsoo’s tears was telling him that perhaps, there wasn’t anything to redo, that perhaps life was just cruel yet there would always be a light at the end of the abyss, guiding their way towards happiness.

“If you’re apologizing for what had happened, don’t, because it’s not your fault Kyungsoo. You’re just a victim of circumstances.” Junghye took Kyungsoo in her arms, almost like back when they were younger when Jongin teased Kyungsoo a little too much and the younger would come running into her to seek comfort and revenge towards her little brother – the thought made her smile. “But if you’re apologizing for not contacting us then just make some kimchi spaghetti coz Jongin also wouldn’t shut up about how heavenly your cooking is. Plus if we did find you then, you Jongin and you wouldn’t be together this way, wouldn’t you? I’m pretty sure he’s happier that you’re his lover, not just a brother.”

Junghye startled chuckling and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile. The lump on his chest had somehow lessen and for the past years of his existence,  that was the first time his heart felt so light and free.

“Now dry your tears. I wouldn’t want Jongin thinking I made you cry. He’ll kill me.”

Kyungsoo paused. Jongin. Of course. If Junghye remembered why wouldn’t Jongin? If Junghye had always known he the same exact Kyungsoo from the past, then why wouldn’t Jongin?

“D-does he know? Does he remember me?”

“I don’t know really. We never talked about it.” Junghye just shrugged, eyes still smiling and Kyungsoo still couldn’t help but find comfort in the elder’s gaze. “Does it matter though? I haven’t seen my brother this as happy as he is with you and trust me if he did know, he wouldn’t want to talk about it at all.” Junghye’s smile faltered. “If he doesn’t I strongly suggest you don’t tell him.”

“B-but-“

“He deserves to know? I’m well aware but Jongin holds grudges and the love you share is too beautiful to be ruined by something from the past. It already did once, and this is your second chance. Don’t let it get ruined by the same thing over again.” Junghye reached for Kyungsoo’s cheeks, wiping away the trail of tears freely flowing from his eyes. “Some things are better left forgotten.”

“Noona! Did you make this?!” As if on cue, Jongin appeared from the kitchen, munching on a small pastry Kyungsoo had never seen before, three dogs following behind him.

“Yes.”

“What is it? It’s good!”

Junghye’s laughter filled the whole house.

“It’s a dog treat Jongin.” She tried saying with a straight face, making Kyungsoo started snickering. “Did you like it?”

Kyungsoo watched how Jongin’s eyes widen as the younger started spluttering, trying to get the food out of his system. His heart started fluttering as laughter started filling his system. It took him a second to realize that Jongin was already sitting by his feet, laughter roaring along with his, holding onto his ankle like it was the younger’s lifeline. It reminded Kyungsoo of the days when Jongin used to do the same thing and would always end up getting kicked by Kyungsoo only to smile in return and take the elder’s hand, interlacing their fingers before leaving a sweet kiss on his lips.

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

Their song might still be unfinished, the lyrics might still be unwritten and their hearts might still be both broken, as long as they were together there will always be the light of the stars to light the path towards their paradise. Fate could still be the little that it had always been yet as long there was Jongin to keep holding his hand and run the race that had nothing but uncertainty to promise down the finish line with him, Kyungsoo knew he would be okay. And as soon as Jongin took his hand once more, as soon as Jongin claimed his lips once more, Kyungsoo thought that maybe, just maybe some things were just better left forgotten.

******

A/N:

again, HAPPY KAISOO DAY!!!
also, first ! can I get a hell yeah! lol jk I'm not exactly satisfied with how I wrote it. actually, I'm not satisfied with this whole chapter at all because tbh I have no idea how am I gonna end this fic that's kind of why I took this long. Will there be an epilogue? There's a huge probability but I cant promise anything. 

questions? leave a comment or hit me up with a message i'd gladly reply (:
I'd probably make an FAQ page too like what I did with sanctuary when I find time and when I've gathered enough questions

anyways, thanks for all the comments, subscriptions and upvotes <3

xoxo - rin